Post by simplyinpenguin on Jun 25, 2013 12:11:43 GMT -5
So, this morning my H wakes me up at around 6. Being half asleep, I could only understand half of what he was saying. "Issues" "Cell phone". I fell back asleep.
When I fully wake up, I find out that a friend of ours told H that I was having "issues" with him, which prompted him to come home and look through all my text messages. I finally told him straight up that I've had it with him, his "blasé faire" attitude, his utter lack of responsibility when it comes to the home front and that I wanted a separation.
Well, obviously he got angry. He tried to play the martyr by saying that "just supporting you, ends up me getting kicked to the curb?" and shit like that. I acknowledged that I am in no way perfect, but even I have my limitations. We yelled, we fought, we're trying to get each other to see our points of view. He can't understand, how dare I have these feelings? And every example I gave him wasn't "good enough, try again". I don't need an end all, be all reason. It's a bunch of things that just symbolizes to me that nothing will ever change. He did get insulted when I told him I was worried about the cats, so I guess the cats will be fine.
Eventually he admitted to me that he thought we should take some time apart. This is not what I wanted to wake up to prior to an interview :\. But at least we're going to separate for a little bit, for now.
Your H's friend told your H that said friend was having issues with you and that prompted your H to check your text messages -why??? What was the friend's issue with you?
And this led to you unleashing all the pent up anger you have towards (what I assume are)unrelated things
fwiw, I am sorry it came to a head like this. I guess this has been building up for a while between you guys. Are you thinking about counseling?
Post by litebright on Jun 25, 2013 12:32:34 GMT -5
Laissez faire is not just an economics term, it's also used to describe people's attitudes: indifference, a "let it be" mindset -- not just in the economic sense.
I thought "blase faire" was a clever play on words, not a mistake -- even if it was a mistake, it probably actually captured his attitude rather well.
Her H hasn't brushed his teeth in 8 days. He doesn't take care of himself or anything really. He's worse than when he lived with his parents and I *think* he has control of the money and is giving her the runaround when she tries to get his half of some bills she has to pay. I can't remember the money details.
Post by sparkythelawyer on Jun 25, 2013 13:00:29 GMT -5
I am so sorry this is happening to you, and that when you came here for support you got too many people that would rather discuss your word choice/errors. I hate when people do that when someone is trying to discuss something serious. Hang in there, and I'm pulling for you.
I am so sorry this is happening to you, and that when you came here for support you got too many people that would rather discuss your word choice/errors. I hate when people do that when someone is trying to discuss something serious. Hang in there, and I'm pulling for you.
It's a tic. Quit being intolerant of my disabilities.
I am so sorry this is happening to you, and that when you came here for support you got too many people that would rather discuss your word choice/errors. I hate when people do that when someone is trying to discuss something serious. Hang in there, and I'm pulling for you.
It's a tic. Quit being intolerant of my disabilities.
I can't take off my editor's hat. I've tried, and it doesn't work. It's just on there permanently.
Post by simplyinpenguin on Jun 25, 2013 13:55:05 GMT -5
Sorry guys. I went to my interview...well tried. The interviewer or MapQuest gave me the wrong directions, so I never made it. I'm crying so hard right now. This is the worst day ever.
I told him about the dental hygiene and he told me that he "rinses" which is BS because it's still in the exact same spot. I caught him in his lie when I detailed how militant I was in putting those things to make sure he was brushing his teeth. I was totally unprepared on him confronting me so all my well elaborate arguments and examples went out my head.
He's all "I support you, give you money." Not unless I twist his arm! And I STILL haven't gotten that money from him to pay the internet bill.
luckyval, I don't know what possessed the friend to just tell him like that (and in a shitty way. "She has issues with you but I'm not going to say what they are". Way to start shit without finishing it). But she is more his friend than mine so she's going to automatically take his side, hence why she said it. But going through my cell messages? That's harsh. I don't do that to him. Just another controlling aspect I guess.
Sorry guys. I went to my interview...well tried. The interviewer or MapQuest gave me the wrong directions, so I never made it. I'm crying so hard right now. This is the worst day ever.
I'm sorry you are having a hard time.
But I have to ask, didn't you have similar issues with your last interview too? You really do seem to have the worst luck with this stuff.
The last interview, they tried to do the "work interview" thing on me. I've never dealt with that industry before, so they were making me leap into something I had no idea about. Obviously I didn't get the job.
I don't understand how I have such rotten luck with this. I want to work, I dress appropriately, I leave with enough time in case I got lost (seriously, I left 45 minutes early for a 20 minutes drive and I STILL got lost and I STILL missed the interview.), I talk about my skills and experience. There's just something about me that they don't like but won't tell me either.
Post by simplyinpenguin on Jun 25, 2013 14:11:06 GMT -5
They called me to confirm the interview, but I was driving so I didn't hear it. When I got to the building, I immediately called them back and explained how I was lost, how sorry I was, and was there an opportunity to reschedule for the afternoon so that I can pull up the correct directions. Haven't gotten a call back yet.
The last interview, they tried to do the "work interview" thing on me.
What exactly does this mean?
And it is possible that your theft arrest is showing up on searches of your name, even if your conviction was expunged?
Believe it or not, I had to do a background check certification for another potential employer and even that background check didn't pull up my records. It states that I have no criminal record whatsoever.
If you were militant about catching him in a lie with his oral hygiene, perhaps he's returning the favor by going through your cellphone to catch you in a lie? I'm not saying that what he's doing is right, but it sounds to me like the two of you are in a totally dysfunctional relationship. I hope you guys separate and SOON! Don't draw this out. I speak from personal experience: once it's over, it's over.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Post by simplyinpenguin on Jun 25, 2013 14:16:18 GMT -5
Yes I did. Pulled up the company, the area. I even confirmed with the interviewer 3 times that the address was indeed correct. I have to plan. I can't just go in blindly. I planned all this last night and this morning. I just hope I get that call back for a possible rescheduling.
Post by simplyinpenguin on Jun 25, 2013 14:19:52 GMT -5
No Bluetooth and it's rather illegal to talk and drive on your cell. At least in this state. Plus, I didn't hear my phone ring as I was driving. But I was on that phone the minute I saw I missed call.
Yes, it seems like a lot of excuses. I really can't put my finger on as to how it got totally messed up. The directions literally took me 30 minutes away from the actual area, and made me go through the main roads. When I got to familiar territory, I realized that there was a faster way and MapQuest did not pick up on that. So if I'm able to go back, I definitely would know how to get to the area, but getting to the actual building will still be a task.
Post by simplyinpenguin on Jun 25, 2013 14:22:00 GMT -5
There is a lesson to be learned in this. Don't trust MapQuest. Use Google Maps instead. Not to mention, invest in a headless Bluetooth set.
I did go inside the building, of course, because it had the address on my directions. Instead I ran into the Water Board Dept. who has never heard of the company I'm interviewing for being in the building. That's when I knew I was completely fucked.