How seriously are you hoping to date? If it's not serious, go for it.
But what do I know? One of my best friends from childhood is 36 and she just moved her 23 year old boyfriend into her apartment. They've been together about 2 years and are blissful.
Post by speckledfrog on Jul 17, 2013 10:42:46 GMT -5
There was someone over on SO who was dating someone who still lived in the dorms. You can ask her what her experience was. I didn't follow it that closely, so I'm not sure of the details.
IDK, there's a 6 year difference between xh and I, and I always felt far more mature than him. At 25, I would date someone in their late 30s, no prob.
So, I wouldn't side-eye it on principle. But whether it would work depends on their specific maturity levels and personalities.
Yeah, I was about to say that I could see a window for success with a 21yo FEMALE and 33yo male just because of relative maturities. It's a loooooot less likely to work when the guy is younger, IMO.
This is some misogynistic social conditioning right there.
Eh, if you want to have some fun I say go for it! If you think it will lead to any sort of mature relationship I think you're probably kidding yourself. Hit it and quit it.
My BFF is recently divorced. She's 33 and has been screwing around with a 22 year old. They've been having fun, but she knows it'll never lead to something serious even though he swears he wants to settle down.
He is apparently great in the sack and she's enjoying it for all it's worth.
Post by lightbulbsun on Jul 17, 2013 11:04:20 GMT -5
I think for that large of an age difference the youngest person should at least be in their upper 20s. Any younger than 25 is probably pretty immature.
Been there and done that, I was 32 and he was 21. I had just ended a long term relationship and he was the pizza guy at the restaurant I worked at. It was 9 months of amazing sex. We had all lot fun together but it was not a serious relationship at all. We were both clear about what we wanted from each other from the beginning.
Considering the cliche sentiment is that men are less mature than women and therefor relationships involving older women/younger men are less likely to work, wouldn't it be considered misandry and not misogyny?
Considering the cliche sentiment is that men are less mature than women and therefor relationships involving older women/younger men are less likely to work, wouldn't it be considered misandry and not misogyny?
No. It is a self-serving lie that women are "more mature," that boosts the status quo by lending false legitimacy to a power imbalance in a relationship. Girls don't mature faster at all - they just express their immaturity differently, by faking adulthood, and older men take advantage of this by giving lip service to girls' maturity all the while knowing that the attraction is that these girls' won't be their equal.
Considering the cliche sentiment is that men are less mature than women and therefor relationships involving older women/younger men are less likely to work, wouldn't it be considered misandry and not misogyny?
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Post by hopecounts on Jul 17, 2013 11:35:56 GMT -5
Eh, whatever both parties are legal. I do agree I would expect it to be nothing more than a temporary fun fling since at 21 I don't think the vast majority of people (guy or girl) are really ready or interested in marriage or a long term commitment.
Considering the cliche sentiment is that men are less mature than women and therefor relationships involving older women/younger men are less likely to work, wouldn't it be considered misandry and not misogyny?
No. It is a self-serving lie that women are "more mature," that boosts the status quo by lending false legitimacy to a power imbalance in a relationship. Girls don't mature faster at all - they just express their immaturity differently, by faking adulthood, and older men take advantage of this by giving lip service to girls' maturity all the while knowing that the attraction is that these girls' won't be their equal.
I expressed my immaturity by doing a lot of cocaine and drinking a lot of Southern Comfort.
This seems to be a pretty wide net to cast, Wrath.
Hmm, I grew up with a bunch of girls who had no interest in "faking adulthood," and I would still say we matured faster than our male counterparts.
But anyway, I'm 7 years older than my H. In the beginning, when I was 33 and he was 26, it was fun for me to go back to that age of partying and being silly. At the same time, it was pain to wait around for him to go through some of the maturation I'd already achieved. But he is a quick study, and eventually we evened out.
Hmm, I grew up with a bunch of girls who had no interest in "faking adulthood," and I would still say we matured faster than our male counterparts.
But anyway, I'm 7 years older than my H. In the beginning, when I was 33 and he was 26, it was fun for me to go back to that age of partying and being silly. At the same time, it was pain to wait around for him to go through some of the maturation I'd already achieved. But he is a quick study, and eventually we evened out.
This made me chuckle. Seems like you had a really good attitude about it, and I'm glad it worked out!
No. It is a self-serving lie that women are "more mature," that boosts the status quo by lending false legitimacy to a power imbalance in a relationship. Girls don't mature faster at all - they just express their immaturity differently, by faking adulthood, and older men take advantage of this by giving lip service to girls' maturity all the while knowing that the attraction is that these girls' won't be their equal.
I expressed my immaturity by doing a lot of cocaine and drinking a lot of Southern Comfort.
This seems to be a pretty wide net to cast, Wrath.
You didn't date older guys, then, and talk about how mature and ahead of your peers you were?
I expressed my immaturity by doing a lot of cocaine and drinking a lot of Southern Comfort.
This seems to be a pretty wide net to cast, Wrath.
You didn't date older guys, then, and talk about how mature and ahead of your peers you were?
I see what you are saying. What I quoted sounded like you were referring to all women, not women who date older guy and talk about how mature and ahead of their peers they are.