"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
If it makes any difference, I am 23 and my FI is 30.
The only thing I will say is that there are some striking differences in the way we think. If we were not so similar in other things, it may have been an issue.
Post by Ruby Gloom on Jul 17, 2013 13:22:56 GMT -5
I started dating my H when he was 22, I was 36.
He was-and is-the best man to have ever come into my life. I broke it off about 8 times in the first year because of society's issues (and his mother's), but we always ended up back together and are still deliriously happy and deeply in love almost 6 years later.
Hmm, I grew up with a bunch of girls who had no interest in "faking adulthood," and I would still say we matured faster than our male counterparts.
But anyway, I'm 7 years older than my H. In the beginning, when I was 33 and he was 26, it was fun for me to go back to that age of partying and being silly. At the same time, it was pain to wait around for him to go through some of the maturation I'd already achieved. But he is a quick study, and eventually we evened out.
This made me chuckle. Seems like you had a really good attitude about it, and I'm glad it worked out!
It took a lot of patience. A. Lot. Of. Patience. But he was worth it.
OTOH, just yesterday my daughter asked us what our ages were, then concluded, "So you're going to die first, huh mom?"
Considering the cliche sentiment is that men are less mature than women and therefor relationships involving older women/younger men are less likely to work, wouldn't it be considered misandry and not misogyny?
No. It is a self-serving lie that women are "more mature," that boosts the status quo by lending false legitimacy to a power imbalance in a relationship. Girls don't mature faster at all - they just express their immaturity differently, by faking adulthood, and older men take advantage of this by giving lip service to girls' maturity all the while knowing that the attraction is that these girls' won't be their equal.
I think people, regardless of sex, are going to fumble and mature at varying rates - environment and circumstance having the greatest impact on this. And with that comes people (men and women) who are going to take advantage of the less experienced/less mature person in the relationship - and I don't think that is exclusively the younger person or to a particular sex.
For fun or for serious relationships, pick someone who knows what they want and see that it parallels what you're looking for. A person who doesn't know what they want isn't going to be much fun.
12 years is a big deal in your 20's / 30's but it becomes less of a big deal as you age.
I *personally* wouldn't do it because *I* would feel like I was robbing the cradle, but if your 'friend' wants to do it, be prepared for some young douchey behavior.
I expressed my immaturity by doing a lot of cocaine and drinking a lot of Southern Comfort.
This seems to be a pretty wide net to cast, Wrath.
You didn't date older guys, then, and talk about how mature and ahead of your peers you were?
Hmm, I don't know. I went to college FT at 16, worked up to 4 jobs at a time to pay for it (no loans, woot!), had my degree and a FT job by 19, bought my first home at 21, was attending an Ivy grad school by 26 and became a president of a location by 29.
You didn't date older guys, then, and talk about how mature and ahead of your peers you were?
Hmm, I don't know. I went to college FT at 16, worked up to 4 jobs at a time to pay for it (no loans, woot!), had my degree and a FT job by 19, bought my first home at 21, was attending an Ivy grad school by 26 and became a president of a location by 29.
Faking it til I make it!
This is EXACTLY the kind of thing I was thinking of when I said that girls show immaturity differently.
Hmm, I don't know. I went to college FT at 16, worked up to 4 jobs at a time to pay for it (no loans, woot!), had my degree and a FT job by 19, bought my first home at 21, was attending an Ivy grad school by 26 and became a president of a location by 29.
Faking it til I make it!
This is EXACTLY the kind of thing I was thinking of when I said that girls show immaturity differently.
I'm very much at a loss to understand your definition of 'immaturity.'
Post by Wrath0fKuus on Jul 17, 2013 15:31:48 GMT -5
It's that thing the beebee brides always do, when they talk about all the developmental stages they've skipped and list a bunch of accomplishments, as though that's some sort of shortcut to old age.
If it's just for a fling and this "friend" can get him out of his Pabst t-shirt and yellow smiley face boxers long enough to have sex with him, then to each her own!
You didn't date older guys, then, and talk about how mature and ahead of your peers you were?
Hmm, I don't know. I went to college FT at 16, worked up to 4 jobs at a time to pay for it (no loans, woot!), had my degree and a FT job by 19, bought my first home at 21, was attending an Ivy grad school by 26 and became a president of a location by 29.
I have all the books I could need, and what more could I need than books? I shall only engage in commerce if books are the coin. -- Catherynne M. Valente
It's that thing the beebee brides always do, when they talk about all the developmental stages they've skipped and list a bunch of accomplishments, as though that's some sort of shortcut to old age.
But they've been through a lot, Kuus. Haven't you read the studies that suggest that paying your own college tuition and living in an apartment by yourself at 17 negate the normal brain developmental stages?
Oh I see - I get it now. Achieving goals and having sucesses isn't a sign of maturity at all. Comparion of the maturity of two people at the same age is more about, oh I don't know, AGE? Because again, that is what we were talking about here. Comparison of people within an age bracket/group.
I stand by that at 16, 19, etc I WAS more mature than people of the same age group given what I took on and accomplished by myself.
Beebee brides?1 Um, yeah, because I didn't do that.
Hmm, I don't know. I went to college FT at 16, worked up to 4 jobs at a time to pay for it (no loans, woot!), had my degree and a FT job by 19, bought my first home at 21, was attending an Ivy grad school by 26 and became a president of a location by 29.
Faking it til I make it!
What location? I don't know what president of a location means.
Also, I know you didn't ask but I find going to college at 16 kind of sad What was the rush? Do you feel like you missed out?
It is a career reference/job title point.
No rush, per se. Long story short, I skipped several grades and was given a full ride due to a program run out of Duke University (it was called Duke TIP if anyone remembers that). I was the first person to graduate hs and also go to college in my family (both sides). I'm also first generation American. It was a huge deal for my family that I was going to be able to go to college at all due to being low income. I'm very lucky to have had these opportunities and so I can support my mother now. I wouldn't change it at all.