So a few people from the board have messaged me and suggested that I come on and provide an explanation for my behaviour/comments. I know I have made some unnecessarily bitchey remarks and for that I am sorry. I was finding it hard to be on the board as the influx of BFPs were announced. I know I should have just kept my mouth shut and ignored those posts. IF is a seriously shitty thing that messes with every part of you. That being said I also think many people throw around IF as a means to make themselves feel better about trying. IMO having IF yet managing to get pregnant and deliver a healthy baby kind of eliminates your IF. Trying for a year and getting pregnant on your own doesn't mean you had a hard time. And both these scenarios are thrown around here. As some of you know I was scheduled for a FET on July 4th that was cancelled due to some issues with my uterus, I ended up needing a painful procedure to be done instead and am now left with a break of 2 months and then an appointment to re-evaluate again. I am having to temp this cycle in order for my RE understand further what is going on and I HATE temping it makes me a crazy person as I am sure some of you can relate too! This was really hard for me to come to terms with. I was in my heart and mind planning for a March baby and another mat leave . I have (I think) come to terms with this and enjoying my summer with Spencer (great name BTW ~ go for it TrudyCampbell). As for my comments about a popularity contest ~ I do at times feel this way and I know I am not alone based on the messages I received supporting this comment, however, life is a popularity contest so I should just move on from that one. I at times find some the behaviour on the board to be childish (creating AEs to post on the bump etc) but I need to just except that just because this isn't my behaviour choice doesn't make it wrong. My first experience with messages boards did not end well as raynes & rxbeth remember I am sure. I made a comment on a board on the knot that was repeated in a really negative out of context way on both my wedding board and my Facebook wall. Because of this I deleted many of you from Facebook. Which I realize now was a mistake cause I miss all of you babies' pictures and your updates. Anyway I am embarrassed by my behaviour and comments, I hate it when women are negative and mean to each other and realize that I could now be the poster child for this. I am sorry to those that I have hurt and offended. I should have let the original comment that offended me roll of my back and carry on but with all that was happening in my life I just needed somewhere to lose my shit and unfortunately this was the place. I am truly happy for all of the BFPs on the board, and thankful for Trudy's post reminding us all that the board is different now and not everyone is pregnant and some are really struggling. Thanks for reading ~ and thanks to those that have reached out to me privately about this. xo
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Thank you for explaining this. It means a lot that you did this. I hope you continue to post, I really value what you contribute.
Post by kemangel124 on Jul 28, 2013 14:41:41 GMT -5
I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as you continue your journey. I feel like the fact that you apologized should be an indicator to us ALL to just move on from here. Thanks for sharing with us. We are here to support you, so please share when you need to!
I'm sorry you are having a hard time. IF truly is a horrible, horrible beast.
I do need clarification from you on this: "IMO having IF yet managing to get pregnant and deliver a healthy baby kind of eliminates your IF."
Please explain what you exactly mean.
1. Do you mean that those of us that had a surprise pregnancy after having gone through hell and back to have one child aren't really infertile? 2. Do you mean that only those that went through IVF are "truly" infertile?
If it is #2, than I'm sorry that you need to quantify who is more IF. That mentality is the reason why I hated the IF Veterans board. I can't tell you how many times we stopped medicated cycles because we were OOP once the cycle would become assisted.
If you feel it is #1, again, I'm sorry. I was diagnosed 9 years ago. My IF diagnosis was prior to even imagining babies. I'm still have all my diagnoses and all the wonderful tests that go with it.
While you have had IVF and are trying to have a FET cycle, please don't diminish anyone else's struggles.
I'm sorry you are having a hard time. IF truly is a horrible, horrible beast.
I do need clarification from you on this: "IMO having IF yet managing to get pregnant and deliver a healthy baby kind of eliminates your IF."
Please explain what you exactly mean.
1. Do you mean that those of us that had a surprise pregnancy after having gone through hell and back to have one child aren't really infertile? 2. Do you mean that only those that went through IVF are "truly" infertile?
If it is #2, than I'm sorry that you need to quantify who is more IF. That mentality is the reason why I hated the IF Veterans board. I can't tell you how many times we stopped medicated cycles because we were OOP once the cycle would become assisted.
If you feel it is #1, again, I'm sorry. I was diagnosed 9 years ago. My IF diagnosis was prior to even imagining babies. I'm still have all my diagnoses and all the wonderful tests that go with it.
While you have had IVF and are trying to have a FET cycle, please don't diminish anyone else's struggles.
Good luck with your upcoming tests.
Maybe the way I said that wasn't the best. IF has no ranking it sucks no matter what, I wish I could have achieved pregnancy on clomid alone and saved over $30 000 we have so far spent on further treatments (we are OOP too). What I meant was (and this is maybe coming from people I know IRL) I find sometimes people use IF as a bit of an excuse or a means to make themselves feel better while TTC. If someone are able to more than once conceive without assistance I do wonder if they truly have IF. I would love love love for a surprise pregnancy but that is never going to happen for me but I don't mean to make anyone else's IF struggles less valid. But it is hard to be put into the same grouping as someone who is/has achieved multiple pregnancies without treatment. Does that clear it up??
Post by TrudyCampbell on Jul 28, 2013 15:03:05 GMT -5
Many, many hugs to you. I'm so sorry that you are struggling and I know this board is a hard place for some people to be right now. Infertility is ugly, cruel and unfair. You have a gorgeous son and I know you will have another beautiful child.
I do see what you're saying about people "throwing around IF", and I do think this board needs to be more sensitive to those who are trying to conceive, but I do think you do also need to realize that just because people haven't had it as hard as you doesn't mean they haven't struggled in their own way. I'm not trying to be insensitive to you, honestly, but I just don't think there is a true measure of who struggled the most. I guess it's easy for me to say that though.
I really hope you stick around. And please feel free to post about your IF struggles, appointments, tests, procedures, etc. We are all here for you and we're all invested in what's going on.
Post by creamsiclechica on Jul 28, 2013 15:15:21 GMT -5
Trudy so beautifully summed up my sentiments, it's hard to elaborate further, but I'll try. adub, I adore you, I always have. I love seeing/hearing about Spencer, and I think you've always had a lot to offer this board. Your struggle has been long and arduous, and you certainly deserve our love and support for that. I think knowing what you've gone through and what you're facing now is a key element in knowing/understanding you, so I'm glad you're sharing.
And, echoing some of the thoughts of previous posters, I will say that infertility is the most brutal and bitter experience I've encountered. But it is also varied. I don't mean that to diminish the financial, physical, emotional, and mental hardships you've endured, but it is difficult to quantify. We all have different thresholds, and I try to keep that in mind when I look at all the different struggles women (and men) have faced on their infertility journey.
I will be the first to admit that as far as IF goes, we had it easy. I wasn't as medicated, my treatments were covered by insurance, and this time around, I did get pregnant without any medical intervention. However, I cannot erase the damage our struggle did to me mentally, and I will always remain cognizant and sensitive to that in others. I've stated in other threads, I'm thrilled and grateful to be pregnant, but also saddened deeper for those who have to struggle still, or struggle again. It's a vicious cycle really.
Please, please, please stay. Please don't feel resented by us either. But, I also respect and understand if it's hard for you right now too. I'm sending lots of love and prayers your way for another success in your journey, with as little heartache as possible.
Hugs to you! I cannot say anything that hasn't been already said! Definitely know the bs game that IF plays with one's heart and mind. I know I'm also so lucky to have two beautiful kids I never dreamed I would have. I see the pain in one of my best friends eyes that just had her 5th unsuccessful IVF cycle and insurance won't cover anymore for her, her journey has been so much harder than mine or maybe I just accepted I would never have kids and was happily surprised with Ethan and Allison. I hope you will be blessed with however many more babies that your heart wants!! Good Luck!!
Oh, dear. I thought you would never bring up our anniversary board connection and I wasn't about to.
I had nothing to do with that getting reposted on the anniversary board (and have no idea FB stuff you're talking about) and I don't really feel the need to rehash that here but you know you did something REALLY bad and that's why you GBCN and then showed up later with a knew name and no pink shoes in your siggy.
Back to THIS topic.
I have not dealt with IF but have MANY friends have. You might remember the GP/GPM crew? It sounds like you're doing a lot of back tracking here on your initial comments and I'll just leave it at that. I have an IRL friend who struggled for 4 years to have her LO and now had a surprise BFP. I don't think that makes her stuggle with IF any less than anyone elses.
I can't remember what was said a few weeks back but I know you decided to step back. Then you suddenly pop back in to post in the post that led to this? It seems like you were lurking, waiting to get offended or somethng.
I truly an sorry for what you have going on now but I feel like with the dynamic of the group right now, you might need a longer break and I say that with true concern.
Oh, dear. I thought you would never bring up our anniversary board connection and I wasn't about to.
I had nothing to do with that getting reposted on the anniversary board (and have no idea FB stuff you're talking about) and I don't really feel the need to rehash that here but you know you did something REALLY bad and that's why you GBCN and then showed up later with a knew name and no pink shoes in your siggy.
Back to THIS topic.
I have not dealt with IF but have MANY friends have. You might remember the GP/GPM crew? It sounds like you're doing a lot of back tracking here on your initial comments and I'll just leave it at that. I have an IRL friend who struggled for 4 years to have her LO and now had a surprise BFP. I don't think that makes her stuggle with IF any less than anyone elses.
I can't remember what was said a few weeks back but I know you decided to step back. Then you suddenly pop back in to post in the post that led to this? It seems like you were lurking, waiting to get offended or somethng.
I truly an sorry for what you have going on now but I feel like with the dynamic of the group right now, you might need a longer break and I say that with true concern.
Bad yes ... REALLY bad probably not. Anyway I jave no idea what GBCN means, but I returned to find support in the TTC board of the bump.
I was not lurking I was messaged through FB bu someone on this board about a few posts I might want to read and the IF post was one of them.
Maybe I should step away, or maybe I should b more careful of the posts I read.
Oh, dear. I thought you would never bring up our anniversary board connection and I wasn't about to.
I had nothing to do with that getting reposted on the anniversary board (and have no idea FB stuff you're talking about) and I don't really feel the need to rehash that here but you know you did something REALLY bad and that's why you GBCN and then showed up later with a knew name and no pink shoes in your siggy.
Back to THIS topic.
I have not dealt with IF but have MANY friends have. You might remember the GP/GPM crew? It sounds like you're doing a lot of back tracking here on your initial comments and I'll just leave it at that. I have an IRL friend who struggled for 4 years to have her LO and now had a surprise BFP. I don't think that makes her stuggle with IF any less than anyone elses.
I can't remember what was said a few weeks back but I know you decided to step back. Then you suddenly pop back in to post in the post that led to this? It seems like you were lurking, waiting to get offended or somethng.
I truly an sorry for what you have going on now but I feel like with the dynamic of the group right now, you might need a longer break and I say that with true concern.
Bad yes ... REALLY bad probably not. Anyway I jave no idea what GBCN means, but I returned to find support in the TTC board of the bump.
I was not lurking I was messaged through FB bu someone on this board about a few posts I might want to read and the IF post was one of them.
Maybe I should step away, or maybe I should b more careful of the posts I read.
So, you're saying what you confessed to in a FFFC WASN'T really bad, just bad? I just want to clarify. I'm sure many would beg to differ. And if it wasn't REALLY bad, I'm not sure why you felt the need to come back with a different screen name.
And GBCN/GBCB means "good bye cruel nest/bump" for when someone leaves all abruptly and dramatically.
I'm glad you found support on the TTC board on the bump because you certainly weren't getting it on GP after the confession.
Again, I do really have empathy for your struggle as I've seen so many people go through similar things. I'm glad that you do have people who can lend you support and hope that you can participate in posts that don't cause you pain. Despite the past, I do wish you well.
Oh, dear. I thought you would never bring up our anniversary board connection and I wasn't about to.
I had nothing to do with that getting reposted on the anniversary board (and have no idea FB stuff you're talking about) and I don't really feel the need to rehash that here but you know you did something REALLY bad and that's why you GBCN and then showed up later with a knew name and no pink shoes in your siggy.
Back to THIS topic.
I have not dealt with IF but have MANY friends have. You might remember the GP/GPM crew? It sounds like you're doing a lot of back tracking here on your initial comments and I'll just leave it at that. I have an IRL friend who struggled for 4 years to have her LO and now had a surprise BFP. I don't think that makes her stuggle with IF any less than anyone elses.
I can't remember what was said a few weeks back but I know you decided to step back. Then you suddenly pop back in to post in the post that led to this? It seems like you were lurking, waiting to get offended or somethng.
I truly an sorry for what you have going on now but I feel like with the dynamic of the group right now, you might need a longer break and I say that with true concern.
Bad yes ... REALLY bad probably not. Anyway I jave no idea what GBCN means, but I returned to find support in the TTC board of the bump.
I was not lurking I was messaged through FB bu someone on this board about a few posts I might want to read and the IF post was one of them.
Maybe I should step away, or maybe I should b more careful of the posts I read.
Oh FFS. That post that blondiesbored made about TTC #2 was that intriguing to message you to take a look. Why? WTF is the point of that, really?
Post by spaghetticat on Jul 28, 2013 18:23:12 GMT -5
Am I the only one who is curious as to what you guys are referring to? I know you aren't going to explain, but I just wanted to out myself as wondering.
Am I the only one who is curious as to what you guys are referring to? I know you aren't going to explain, but I just wanted to out myself as wondering.
Am I the only one who is curious as to what you guys are referring to? I know you aren't going to explain, but I just wanted to out myself as wondering.
Am I the only one who is curious as to what you guys are referring to? I know you aren't going to explain, but I just wanted to out myself as wondering.
Am I the only one who is curious as to what you guys are referring to? I know you aren't going to explain, but I just wanted to out myself as wondering.
I don't know if there are any links and, no, I won't explain. I'm sorry because I know it piques people's curiosity and I LOVE drama as much as the next person but I don't feel it's my place. I've known she was the previous poster from our anniversary board but there was no need to bring up her GBCN. Then she brought it up and is claiming it was much less than it really was. Honestly, I don't think it's my place to colour anyone's view of another person, especially if they have never done anything inflammatory. But I know what I do and have my opinion.
Am I the only one who is curious as to what you guys are referring to? I know you aren't going to explain, but I just wanted to out myself as wondering.
I don't know if there are any links and, no, I won't explain. I'm sorry because I know it piques people's curiosity and I LOVE drama as much as the next person but I don't feel it's my place. I've known she was the previous poster from our anniversary board but there was no need to bring up her GBCN. Then she brought it up and is claiming it was much less than it really was. Honestly, I don't think it's my place to colour anyone's view of another person, especially if they have never done anything inflammatory. But I know what I do and have my opinion.