Post by charmediamsure on Jul 31, 2013 20:31:42 GMT -5
Ugh. This thread is giving me the sads. I always wanted to be one and done. And everything feels complete with Jack. But I want to have another so badly. Does that make sense? To feel complete but to want another at the same time?
The reality of our situation is that we just bought our first house and things are going to be tight for the first 1.5 years (our house is being built and we move in the beginning of October). So we are looking at an April 2015 baby. But, unless I have tenure by then (God willing! But the job market here is no good) it won't be financially feasible to take another year off work. And professionally it would make things that much more difficult on the road to tenure if I were to be out of the loop for a year. And by April 2015 I will by turning 35 and I don't fully know how I personally feel about that.
All this talk of lonely onlies and death is just overwhelming. I'm sorry, @smudgee , I am certainly no help
Hugs, mama. It's a really tough decision. The fact that you're so torn says to me that you should wait it out a while and see how you feel in the months and years to come. I'm sorry you've had such a rough time:(
@smudgee - I'm right there with you with not knowing what the right decision is for us.
I thought if I had 2, I would aim for a 2 year gap but I am nowhere near being able to handle another baby at this point. Madison was colicky and it sucked. She's awesome now but I feel like I don't have the patience I should.
I'll be 35 this month and I don't know if I will be comfortable TTC next year. Taking another year off work is also a concern in my rapidly changing field. I had a shitty time with my c-section and Madison in the NICU and don't want to go through that again. So many things to consider.
I am one and done. I came to this decision because I know my limit and I know I cannot be a good mother to 2 kids. One is as much ask can handle. As much as I'd like to give Julian a sibling, I'd rather give him a focused attentive and energetic mother. I just don't want to push it.
I said exactly all this and we had #2 and it all balanced out and I could not imagine my life without Calista.