Mommas of twins...

[puppylove64]

1. Are there other twins in your family, if so how are you related?

2
.
3. Did you conceive twins in the first month after you stopped using bc?

4. Are they fraternal or identical?

5. Anything else you want to share about your twins

I like twins and there is all sorts of speculation and old wives tales about when they are conceived and I'm just curious about you!

[Deleted]

Aug 7, 2013 10:12:53 GMT -5 puppylove64 said:

1. Are there other twins in your family, if so how are you related? No, the only twins (2 sets) in our family are fraternal by fertility treatments (dropped 2 eggs).  ID twins are freaks of nature anyway, no genetic cause known.

2. Were your twins conceived while you were on any sort of fertility drug?  This is an intensely personal question that really shouldn't be asked.  Do people ask you if your kid was a result of fertility treatments?? That said, no for us.

3. Did you conceive twins in the first month after you stopped using bc? I was off bc for a year before we TTC.  We conceived the first month of trying.

4. Are they fraternal or identical?  They are identical.

5. Anything else you want to share about your twins.  Not particularly but I'll answer questions.

I like twins and there is all sorts of speculation and old wives tales about when they are conceived and I'm just curious about you!

[puppylove64]

Aug 7, 2013 10:15:36 GMT -5 ninjabridemom said:

Aug 7, 2013 10:12:53 GMT -5 puppylove64 said:

1. Are there other twins in your family, if so how are you related? No, the only twins (2 sets) in our family are fraternal by fertility treatments (dropped 2 eggs).  ID twins are freaks of nature anyway, no genetic cause known.

2. Were your twins conceived while you were on any sort of fertility drug?  This is an intensely personal question that really shouldn't be asked.  Do people ask you if your kid was a result of fertility treatments?? That said, no for us.

3. Did you conceive twins in the first month after you stopped using bc? I was off bc for a year before we TTC.  We conceived the first month of trying.

4. Are they fraternal or identical?  They are identical.

5. Anything else you want to share about your twins.  Not particularly but I'll answer questions.

I like twins and there is all sorts of speculation and old wives tales about when they are conceived and I'm just curious about you!

Sorry, didn't realize #2 would offend anyone.

[Deleted]

Well, of course it is. I don't think many people with singletons get asked often if their kids are the products of technology, implying their kids aren't "natural" or their bodies are "broken." That's sort of the assumptions in that question. I am sure you didn't mean it that way, but considering our kids (twins+) are the object of extra scrutiny with that stuff it's much more sensitive a subject.

I'm lucky that I can just answer "ID twins are flukes."

[sunshineluv]

It sounds to me like puppy's interntions in her questions were how did the twins happen? Sort of like old wives tales for girls, so maybe puppy would be more likely to have twins if she gets pregnant her first cycle off bc.

I have to disagree that someone curious about fertiliy treatment impies that those children are unatural or that the parents bodies are broken.

[jfh]

Aug 7, 2013 10:41:02 GMT -5 @therealmc said:

Aug 7, 2013 10:39:05 GMT -5 sunshineluv said:

It sounds to me like puppy's interntions in her questions were how did the twins happen? Sort of like old wives tales for girls, so maybe puppy would be more likely to have twins if she gets pregnant her first cycle off bc.

I have to disagree that someone curious about fertiliy treatment impies that those children are unatural or that the parents bodies are broken.

I do agree.  There are misconceptions about twins out there and I am sure most people are just curious because they don't understand.  I imagine hearing those questions over and over again gets really old though,.

Yeah, I think it was an overreaction, but maybe that's the result of hearing the question one too many times. I also don't think a question about fertility treatments implies anything about unnatural children or broken parents. 

[Deleted]

Right, but you really can't see how being the subject of constant curiosity might make you sensitive to these kinds of things? [I'm talking more IRL, I know the board offers more of a forum for this kind of stuff and that's okay.]

We get stopped ALL the damn time when we're out. We can't get down the grocery aisle sometimes. And if I just whip with a quick "thank you" by some people mutter "bitch." It's not my job to satisfy your curiosity while I'm trying to grocery shop AND keep two kids happy. It's also like having twins just erases people's filters w/ questions and touching. Don't touch my kids! It's insane.

[Deleted]

I'm sort of just echoing what I've heard people who HAVE gone through treatments and have twins complain about. ETA in terms of what they feel when that question is asked.  So you guys get that perspective.  Maybe.

Another way some people ask is "Are your twins natural?" There are a million ways to ask this question and Puppy used by far the LEAST offensive, which is good (and again, this is the forum to do it).

[Deleted]

Oh and to answer "how do twins happen" ::

Either you drop two eggs and both get fertilized (fraternal) or the fertilized egg splits (identical). There are 3 categories of identical, too, but I won't get into that unless you guys want to hear it, lol. The only way to "influence" this is w fertility hormones that specifically make you release multiple eggs and even then it's not a sure thing.

[sunshineluv]

Aug 7, 2013 10:55:47 GMT -5 @therealmc said:

Aug 7, 2013 10:48:22 GMT -5 ninjabridemom said:

Right, but you really can't see how being the subject of constant curiosity might make you sensitive to these kinds of things? [I'm talking more IRL, I know the board offers more of a forum for this kind of stuff and that's okay.]

We get stopped ALL the damn time when we're out. We can't get down the grocery aisle sometimes. And if I just whip with a quick "thank you" by some people mutter "bitch." It's not my job to satisfy your curiosity while I'm trying to grocery shop AND keep two kids happy. It's also like having twins just erases people's filters w/ questions and touching. Don't touch my kids! It's insane.

Random strangers speaking to me annoys me, full stop.  If people started questioning by child making abilities, I would likely get bitchy after the 1st time.

:Y:

 I am shocked people will ask you such personal stuff randomly in the store. I know that stuff happens, but you would think very rarely. People can have very little tact, goodness. And to get mad if you hurry off, nuts.

[Deleted]

Aug 7, 2013 10:57:31 GMT -5 @therealmc said:

Aug 7, 2013 10:52:26 GMT -5 ninjabridemom said:

Oh and to answer "how do twins happen" ::

Either you drop two eggs and both get fertilized (fraternal) or the fertilized egg splits (identical). There are 3 categories of identical, too, but I won't get into that unless you guys want to hear it, lol. The only way to "influence" this is w fertility hormones that specifically make you release multiple eggs and even then it's not a sure thing.

I will add to that the ability of a woman to release more than one egg CAN be genetic and is but can also happen spontaneously.  There is absolutely NO KNOWN genetic link to identical twins.

Yes, good catch, I left that out!!

I interviewed for a job and the bossman was researching the genetics of identical twins.  He says one theory is a protein in random sperm that cause it.  I told my husband after that that it was all his fault, lol!

[breezy8407]

1. Are there other twins in your family, if so how are you related?

Nope. Mine are fraternal which means two eggs were released and then fertilized.  Fraternal twins (via hyper ovulation) can be passed down from a mother to her children, but a son cannot be the cause of twinning his own children because the woman is responsible for the egg release. 

My H has twins in his family, and even though my MIL wants to take some kind of credit for us having twins, I am happy to remind her that 

2. Were your twins conceived while you were on any sort of fertility drug?

Nope. Ours were spontaneous. As ninjabridemom said, asking how they were conceived is a very personal question. Also asking if they are "natural" twins or not. All babies are natural and not robots or aliens. I know you didn't mean to offend, but it's common in the multiples community to be asked this. 

3. Did you conceive twins in the first month after you stopped using bc?

I was not on any form of BC, but was using FAM for about 2 years prior. We conceived during our first cycle of trying. 

4. Are they fraternal or identical?

Fraternal girl/boy

5. Anything else you want to share about your twins

Twins are amazing but incredibly hard work.
A lot of people also forget that twins or higher multiples are a high risk pregnancy. 

[Deleted]

Aug 7, 2013 11:05:32 GMT -5 breezy8407 said:

5. Anything else you want to share about your twins

Twins are amazing but incredibly hard work.
A lot of people also forget that twins or higher multiples are a high risk pregnancy. 

:Y:  Yup!  Kind of terrifying to go through, even if the reward is well worth it.

Though I honestly didn't think too much about that until my cousin was pregnant with her twins.  She was in and out of the hospital b/c of pre-e and bedrest.

[puppylove64]

I'm pretty sure I never used the term "naturally" or "freak of nature." In the future, I will be sure to ask my questions to people who will not be easily offended by my ignorance. Obviously a public forum where we have openly discussed many issues together for 2 years together is not the appropriate place for that.

I agree that moms of multiples are super moms for everything they have gone through, and would never question the "natural"-ness of anyone's child.

[ruby412]

I understand that ID twins are a fluke, but we have 3 sets in my family! I mean, that's just strange, isn't it?

[Beener]

Do people really think babies created using IF treatments are unnatural? Emmy is here thanks to Clomid and I will straight up vag punch anyone who says she's unnatural!

[fryjack2]

Aug 7, 2013 10:12:53 GMT -5 puppylove64 said:

1. Are there other twins in your family, if so how are you related?

2
.
3. Did you conceive twins in the first month after you stopped using bc?

4. Are they fraternal or identical?

5. Anything else you want to share about your twins

I like twins and there is all sorts of speculation and old wives tales about when they are conceived and I'm just curious about you!

1. YEs. Lots of them.  Aunt and uncle, cousins, niece and nephew, cousin currently pregnant with twins.

2. Its no ones business but we did not use fertility treatments.  I'm not usually offended when I get asked, but it surprises me when people care so much. Like what difference does it make now that you have an answer?  Are they less or more of a freak of nature?  I sound more annoyed than I am, really   I live in Boston.  Boston has the highest incidence of multiples than anywhere else in the country.  I'm sure a huge reason is that its a very educated city where women wait longer to start families so fertility drugs are used more often.  I get asked at least once a day. 

3. No.  My cycles were anywhere form 45- 94 days long so who knows how many "months" it actually took.

4.  That question is still unanswered but we will send a DNA kit off soon

5. I don't know?

[Deleted]

I did say a few times after that THIS is the forum to do it. AND that that wasn't your intent.

I was just letting you know it's a sensitive loaded question for people, and why that is.

And yes @beener! I have definitely gotten the nod and "Oh so they're natural." It's so bizarre. Vag punch indeed!!!

[Deleted]

Lol I will sometimes say "natural" to mean "vaginal" because I don't want to say "vaginal" in public (like to friends and stuff). So I'll say "I had a natural birth but with an epidural..........I mean I didn't have a c-section."

[ruby412]

Aug 7, 2013 12:35:12 GMT -5 @therealmc said:

Aug 7, 2013 12:25:43 GMT -5 ruby412 said:

I understand that ID twins are a fluke, but we have 3 sets in my family! I mean, that's just strange, isn't it?

IMO, fluke really isn't the correct word. They really don't know what causes them and have so far, been unable to link anything genetically. There are numerous proteins in our bodies that have multiple responsibilities yet scientists don't know what they all are...yet.

The only reason they know that they don't know is because they are able to stop proteins from being made. Even though the only job they know that the protein does is not life threatening, mice and other animals die without it. All it has proven is that they know they are clearly responsible for other things but they don't know what.

My point is that they just don't know. ID twins could be caused by some random protein that does 5 other things. They just haven't figured it out yet.

I actually know a scientist (strange guy) who believes that twins are natures way of giving researchers the ability to study medical anomalies. The amount of medical information we know today by studying the cells of twins and multiples is vast.

That is a very interesting point of view, and one I have certainly never heard before!

What you said makes sense - there is probably (at least in my family) something causing ID twins. But, no one knows what it is. As long as it skips me, I'll be happy. I give twin mamas a lot of credit and would be super overwhelmed at taking on that task!

[breezy8407]

Aug 7, 2013 12:12:39 GMT -5 puppylove64 said:

I'm pretty sure I never used the term "naturally" or "freak of nature." In the future, I will be sure to ask my questions to people who will not be easily offended by my ignorance. Obviously a public forum where we have openly discussed many issues together for 2 years together is not the appropriate place for that.

I agree that moms of multiples are super moms for everything they have gone through, and would never question the "natural"-ness of anyone's child.

I wasn't trying to imply I was offended by your questions. I like talking about my kids - who doesn't?  

I have been asked straight out "did you use fertility drugs" or "Did you guys do IVF?" It just amazes me that people are so bold in their questioning! And I think it happens more for people with multiples. I get it - they are a curiosity. 

[breezy8407]

Aug 7, 2013 11:08:40 GMT -5 ninjabridemom said:

Aug 7, 2013 11:05:32 GMT -5 breezy8407 said:

5. Anything else you want to share about your twins

Twins are amazing but incredibly hard work.
A lot of people also forget that twins or higher multiples are a high risk pregnancy. 

  Yup!  Kind of terrifying to go through, even if the reward is well worth it.

Though I honestly didn't think too much about that until my cousin was pregnant with her twins.  She was in and out of the hospital b/c of pre-e and bedrest.

I had an easy uneventful pregnancy until 33 weeks when I suddenly had PTL. I was on bedrest for 4 weeks. Not fun! 

[Deleted]

Ugh so scary!!! I was very lucky but we had monitoring every 2 weeks from 12 weeks on b/c they were mono-di. I feel like every twin pregnancy has SOMEthing.

[puppylove64]

It amazes me that a stranger would ask if your child was "natural".... Of course, they are living and breathing, what is more natural than that?! In my limited googling of why people have twins, it is 1. Hereditary 2. Because you just got off bc and dropped two eggs 3. Fertility drugs that caused multiple eggs 4. The embro split 5. Or just luck. (I'm sure these aren't the only possible scenarios, that is why I left it open) Like I said earlier, I'm not very knowledgeable on the subject, so I figured I would ask you mom's how you ended up with two babies at once.

[joyhart02]

Aug 7, 2013 10:48:22 GMT -5 ninjabridemom said:

Right, but you really can't see how being the subject of constant curiosity might make you sensitive to these kinds of things? [I'm talking more IRL, I know the board offers more of a forum for this kind of stuff and that's okay.]

We get stopped ALL the damn time when we're out. We can't get down the grocery aisle sometimes. And if I just whip with a quick "thank you" by some people mutter "bitch." It's not my job to satisfy your curiosity while I'm trying to grocery shop AND keep two kids happy. It's also like having twins just erases people's filters w/ questions and touching. Don't touch my kids! It's insane.

But I think the grocery thing happens to other people anyway that don't have twins. I know when I have the girls with me people stop and comment on them or whatever. Maybe you get it more with the twin factor but I am just saying with cute small children this happens a lot. 

[Deleted]

Yeah I notice it happen to singletons (even in groups) but even w my head in my ass it really does happen all the time to us. Quick trips can sometimes take twice as long. I'm serious when I said we couldn't down an aisle a few times -- one person would stop us, we'd finish and walk maybe 2 feet and someone else, who heard the first person, would stop up. We'd finish and by then a third person came up. Like -- it's ridiculous.

I mean I know my kids are cute (duh right, lol, all kids are cute), but it happens all. the. time.

I know it sounds like a bragplaint but the maybe three times their whole lives I haven't been stopped by someone have been AWESOME. I'd rather people just leave us alone. It also makes me nervous the boys are going to get "freak" complexes from it when they're together in public.

[joyhart02]

Aug 7, 2013 14:17:12 GMT -5 ninjabridemom said:

Yeah I notice it happen to singletons (even in groups) but even w my head in my ass it really does happen all the time to us. Quick trips can sometimes take twice as long. I'm serious when I said we couldn't down an aisle a few times -- one person would stop us, we'd finish and walk maybe 2 feet and someone else, who heard the first person, would stop up. We'd finish and by then a third person came up. Like -- it's ridiculous.

I mean I know my kids are cute (duh right, lol, all kids are cute), but it happens all. the. time.

I know it sounds like a bragplaint but the maybe three times their whole lives I haven't been stopped by someone have been AWESOME. I'd rather people just leave us alone. It also makes me nervous the boys are going to get "freak" complexes from it when they're together in public.

Are you a secret celebrity?

[Deleted]

Tamb it IS gorgeous hair though! Those curls!!

I wish the boys had more curls but right now I'm just thankful their bald spots are finally covered lol.

[katandkevin]

I happened upon this post on the app and I just have to echo what ninja was saying. I have boy/girl twins who are 5 and thankfully we don't get asked questions much anymore, but I always hated the questions we got asked. It felt so invasive and people feel like they have a right to know just because I have twins. Most people don't realize they are twins because my daughter is a couple inches taller than my son. I love when I get asked what their age difference is and I say one minute. Watching their expression is priceless.

I can't tell you how many times I have had conversations like this: m.youtube.com/watch?v=tT-lgB_HGEE

[Deleted]

Aug 7, 2013 14:40:22 GMT -5 @pcloadletter said:

Our grocery trips take forever because people think I have twins. It is ridiculous. And my kids also like to talk to everyone they see and give them their life story.

LOL YES!  The kids eat it up!!!  That makes it so much harder.