Maybe this is more flameful--at this point, I don't know if I would do this. I see it as a valid choice that is not mine to make.
I think you underestimate the person's state of mind at the moment if you think it is a reasonable, measured choice.
They are not thinking clearly. They are not thinking of anything other than removing their pain.
You should call the police and have them do a well-check. Or if they have outlined a plan go to the nearest crisis response center and complete the petition for an involuntary commitment.
This. I have lost two people to suicide. Its horrific.
I was suicidal years ago... and you aren't thinking clearly. Something is off. I am so glad I was forced to get help.
I am committed to spending most of the money I am making this month on frivolous crap because the transition from working at home for 4 years to working in an office again has sucked. It's not rational and it's not MM, but I'll be better in October, maybe?
Tell me more! I have been WAH since 2007 and I'm thinking I'm over and have been looking for other jobs. Bad idea?? Feel free to PM me!
It's just a bad combo of a lot of things at once, I haven't written off all outside-the-home jobs forever. But this particular job is making me feel like I didn't have it so bad when my worst complaint was that I went to the grocery store for social interaction during the day.
I am slightly annoyed with my friend for being a bit of a bridezilla. In addition to picking out a floor-length bridesmaid dress with a huge ass ruffle she has specified: 1. My hair must be in a bun 2. I MUST wear a homemade peacock feather on the side of my head 3. I am not allowed to do my eye makeup because she is buying eyeshadow for all of us to wear (I am concerned if this is sanitary, particularly considering that I am immunosuppressed) 4. No necklaces allowed. Gold-tone stud earrings and bracelets only. 5. I must get my dress steamed before Monday (this was news dropped on me today). 6. Gold shoes (although this one seems reasonable)
It seems like so much for a very casual wedding -- the reception is at a town center thing that typically only does pig roasts and fish fries for the local folk. I will be happy if I am never in another wedding.
This bride is behind the times trend-wise! Peacock feathers/colors were popular about 3 years ago.
These requirements sound awful, sorry. Plus (in keeping with the wedding photography theme) what horribly boring pictures she's going to have with a bunch of women looking identical.
I am slightly annoyed with my friend for being a bit of a bridezilla. In addition to picking out a floor-length bridesmaid dress with a huge ass ruffle she has specified: 1. My hair must be in a bun 2. I MUST wear a homemade peacock feather on the side of my head 3. I am not allowed to do my eye makeup because she is buying eyeshadow for all of us to wear (I am concerned if this is sanitary, particularly considering that I am immunosuppressed) 4. No necklaces allowed. Gold-tone stud earrings and bracelets only. 5. I must get my dress steamed before Monday (this was news dropped on me today). 6. Gold shoes (although this one seems reasonable)
It seems like so much for a very casual wedding -- the reception is at a town center thing that typically only does pig roasts and fish fries for the local folk. I will be happy if I am never in another wedding.
Oh I know it's okay I was just joking about the whole quitting after mat leave stigma on MM but it doesn't really apply.
Doesn't it? From the companies point of view, you took advantage of their policies and then left. Why would thy feel better knowing you used the time to find another job instead of just rating home? It causes them the same inconvenience.
Anyone worth two shits causes their employer an inconvenience when they quit, regardless of ML.
If anything, the fact that she's been gone a few months already should make it simpler for the employer.
She is making the hairpiece. I have never known her to craft anything before. I will be getting the final product the night before the wedding and will have no time to trial it in my hair.
Maybe this is more flameful--at this point, I don't know if I would do this. I see it as a valid choice that is not mine to make.
I think you underestimate the person's state of mind at the moment if you think it is a reasonable, measured choice.
They are not thinking clearly. They are not thinking of anything other than removing their pain.
You should call the police and have them do a well-check. Or if they have outlined a plan go to the nearest crisis response center and complete the petition for an involuntary commitment.
I agree 100% with @beagle. If you talk about it with them again, I would ask questions to gauge the existence of a plan or imminent intent. In the presence of either, I would tell the person I was taking them to the emergency room, and did they want me to drive them or call an ambulance to get them there.
That said, you do also need to take care of yourself and set boundaries with someone who is ill and refusing help. It was one of the most painful things I have done in my life with a close friend from college. I told him I could not rescue him anymore, and that I loved him but I could not keep him safe. In the end he got help, but I lost the friendship. It was really hard. I'm sorry you are going through this.
Oh I know it's okay I was just joking about the whole quitting after mat leave stigma on MM but it doesn't really apply.
Doesn't it? From the companies point of view, you took advantage of their policies and then left. Why would thy feel better knowing you used the time to find another job instead of just rating home? It causes them the same inconvenience.
Because I could have quit to go to another job at any point minus the baby too, right? The end result is the same. I think it's different to go out on mat leave, accepting money as if you intend to stay employed, and then not coming back to work at all.
Reading about all the women on the prepare for the worst post that are dependent on their husbands financially makes me sad. I get an uneasy feeling when people (especially women) are dependent on others financially.
I'm really glad we spent enough on wedding photos that they don't look like crap (i.e. it wasn't my drunk uncle taking pictures) but didn't that much which left more money for booze. We've been married 3 years and I still haven't printed a single photo.
I might have you beat. Our nine year anniversary is next week and we have yet to make an album.
A girl on Facebook posts pictures of her meals all the time, like Facebook is the new Instagram. It all looks gross and it's generally 2-3 starches and meat, no veggies, and lots of fried food.
She also bitches about her weight a lot.
And I can't help but wonder how she doesn't connect the dots.
I'm really glad we spent enough on wedding photos that they don't look like crap (i.e. it wasn't my drunk uncle taking pictures) but didn't that much which left more money for booze. We've been married 3 years and I still haven't printed a single photo.
I might have you beat. Our nine year anniversary is next week and we have yet to make an album.
Ten for us, this month.
We ordered pics after our wedding, but DH forgot to specify sizes. Rather than *calling* us to determine how big we wanted them, the photog made them all 4x6. WTH am I going to do with those?! We were so annoyed with how she handled it all, we never reordered. If we show people our wedding pics, it's the proof album.
She is making the hairpiece. I have never known her to craft anything before. I will be getting the final product the night before the wedding and will have no time to trial it in my hair.
Good thing she's the one paying for pictures that you never have to see again...provided you can remove the ones that end up on FB.
Also, how does one make a peacock feather at home?
I was wondering this, too.
I mean, a buddy of mine in university grew up on an acreage where they raised peacocks, so she could get them from home. But, I doubt that's what this bride meant...
I keep seeing military folks complaining about the shutdown, and it impacting their pay. (active duty folks who all know that even if there is a shutdown, they will get paid eventually, just not on time)
It confuses me. This isn't the first shutdown in recent history that has impacted military pay. It's not like we haven't seen this before. Keeping a bit of money in savings should have been a lesson from the last shutdown...
Heck, there are several banks/lenders that are offering various forms of relief for servicemembers, up to, and including one bank that has said they will just keep depositing the regular direct deposit into servicemembers accounts during the shutdown. (Our bank is offering 0% loans for the duration of the shutdown.) So, at this point, I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for folks that are freaking out over it.
(I am not talking about those who will be impacted by a shutdown with actual loss of income, instead of simply a delay of income, those are two different situations, and actual loss of income is worth getting pissed off about)
Post by Chuppathingy on Sept 27, 2013 1:08:00 GMT -5
I have a total crush on this guy at the pro bono project I currenrly volunteer for. He is a dreamy, surfer boy type of blond, was an editor for the Harvard Law Review while in law school, and has a yummy Australian accent. How the hell he ended up working in a town like this, I'll never know. But OMG so hot!
I am also pretty certain that the stronger painkillers that I was finally forced to break down and take tonight have made me just a little bit high. Also, unable to sleep again.
Reading about all the women on the prepare for the worst post that are dependent on their husbands financially makes me sad. I get an uneasy feeling when people (especially women) are dependent on others financially.
I think marriage is an incredibly complicated arrangement, and having kids makes it even more complicated. I know I am one of the ones who posted that I'd be generally screwed if DH up and left tomorrow, but that's taking childcare into account and considering where I could live with her v. if I were by myself and truly portable.
I actually know very few couples IRL with two working parents who have a strong enough total financial picture to be raise a kid and maintain two separate households without at least one of them getting screwed. This includes people who have divorced and I see how they struggle to pay housing and childcare bills now that their other bills aren't combined. Also, I have no idea what it's like in the rest of the country, but the NY real estate market (for both renting and owning) does NOT favor singles. Most people I know who are not married live with roommates or even exes to get more space/be in better areas for commuting.
I'm really glad we spent enough on wedding photos that they don't look like crap (i.e. it wasn't my drunk uncle taking pictures) but didn't that much which left more money for booze. We've been married 3 years and I still haven't printed a single photo.
I might have you beat. Our nine year anniversary is next week and we have yet to make an album.
We're finally really working on ours after 6 years! Or at least we were 3 years ago.
But I'm overwhelmed with the draft and what I want to change so after now having put down something like $3000 towards the album, it is back in the I-can't-deal-with-this-if-I-ignore-it-it-will-go-away-right? category. Not MM.
She is making the hairpiece. I have never known her to craft anything before. I will be getting the final product the night before the wedding and will have no time to trial it in my hair.
I think feathered hair pieces can be really cool (I probably enjoy outfits that would be considered costumey by others though) but it seems incompatable with a bun. Not to mention a bun is a very severe hair style and not very flattering on most people.
The eye shadow thing is just crazy and it if she's insistent, I would ask her the color and brand and buy your own. That is a lot of germs.
She's also totally under-accessorizing for a wedding it sounds like, but at least that jewelry should be easy and comfortable.
I've been a bm 6 times and no bridezillas. I agreed to #7, so let's hope this isn't where it starts.