Post by captainmel on Oct 17, 2013 12:21:54 GMT -5
bowies, sometimes when I want a present from Boyfriend I'll just buy something and then say "would you like to give me the present you bought me today?!?"
Maybe you could do that with honeymoon 2.0.
Disclaimer* most of the presents he buys me are less than $15.
Travel is way more important to my well-being than a roof.
partiallysunny, has he ever had a license? Unless he grew up with a plethora of public transportation options, I'm going to say this is weird. It must put a lot of stress on your shoulders.
Post by captainmel on Oct 17, 2013 12:26:35 GMT -5
starrieskies, I feel like every time you post about Admiral Fuckface I just think "she is a much bigger person than me."
partiallysunny, I am disappointed in your confession. I want flamefuls!!
Um, like for example, I am just waking up. It is 11:30 and I haven't even had a morning pee yet. It is my fall break though. And I'm going to go do responsible stuff soon.
Travel is way more important to my well-being than a roof.
partiallysunny, has he ever had a license? Unless he grew up with a plethora of public transportation options, I'm going to say this is weird. It must put a lot of stress on your shoulders.
starrieskies, I feel like every time you post about Admiral Fuckface I just think "she is a much bigger person than me."
partiallysunny, I am disappointed in your confession. I want flamefuls!!
Um, like for example, I am just waking up. It is 11:30 and I haven't even had a morning pee yet. It is my fall break though. And I'm going to go do responsible stuff soon.
Travel is way more important to my well-being than a roof.
partiallysunny, has he ever had a license? Unless he grew up with a plethora of public transportation options, I'm going to say this is weird. It must put a lot of stress on your shoulders.
Never. And doesn't use public transportation.
I knew you wouldn't disappoint, muddled.
You are welcome!
So, is this an overall transport-related anxiety issue or a him driving issue? This would drive me nuts if I was in charge of all transport all the time. What is he doing about it? I imagine that's the real confession. It doesn't bother you at all?
So, is this an overall transport-related anxiety issue or a him driving issue? -I don't think so. He use to take the bus, in his younger years. We haven't lived in a place with good public transportation in over 6 years.
This would drive me nuts if I was in charge of all transport all the time. What is he doing about it? -Nothing? You think he should be doing something?
I imagine that's the real confession.
It doesn't bother you at all? -like I mentioned before, of course it did. Especially the false promises and not following threw. Then it came time to teach him to drive. Total game changer. He couldn't function. Complete panic. It never got better.
I came to the realization he would probably never drive before he did.
And, yes, it still bothers me at times and puts a lot of weight on my shoulders. I sure as Hell don't like to be the only one who can to pick up milk or return a movie.
Of course I think he should be doing something. Therapy to get past the anxiety, perhaps? If it works on phobias, there should be something he can do about this. Can he explain why he panics? Did something happen?
Think forward to your 12 year old DS who is suddenly involved in all sorts of afterschool things and going out with friends and you are the only one that can pick him up every single time.
I love that you are patient with him and that you understand this is real for him, but if it hasn't hurt your relationship yet, there will come a day when it probably will.
Of course I think he should be doing something. Therapy to get past the anxiety, perhaps? If it works on phobias, there should be something he can do about this. Can he explain why he panics? Did something happen?
Think forward to your 12 year old DS who is suddenly involved in all sorts of afterschool things and going out with friends and you are the only one that can pick him up every single time.
I love that you are patient with him and that you understand this is real for him, but if it hasn't hurt your relationship yet, there will come a day when it probably will.
He doesn't like to talk about his anxiety in general, only in vague terms. When it comes to driving, the only thing he will admit to is being terrified but won't say what he finds terrifying.
I have suggested counseling (years ago, when he said he wanted to learn before our son was born), but he's not a fan and there isn't much else I can do.
There are always logistical bumps in the road when it comes to this issue. I just try to take it one scheduling crisis at a time.
PS, I guess your H gets a little flaming if he isn't willing to do anything about his anxiety. Maybe you could encourage him to work on this.
He sees his doctor regularly and takes his meditation like he is suppose to. It's not like he's not managing it, because he is.
My thoughts were more specific to driving but I can't really judge too much because I don't drive at night unless I have driven on that road a lot of times before.
PS, do you guys ever go on road trips? I would definitely hate to be the only driver, particularly with kids. It might be worth talking to him about setting a goal that he will drive/get a license in 2014 or something, if his therapist oks the plan.
He sees his doctor regularly and takes his meditation like he is suppose to. It's not like he's not managing it, because he is.
My thoughts were more specific to driving but I can't really judge too much because I don't drive at night unless I have driven on that road a lot of times before.
PS, do you guys ever go on road trips? I would definitely hate to be the only driver, particularly with kids. It might be worth talking to him about setting a goal that he will drive/get a license in 2014 or something, if his therapist oks the plan.
oh yes! I love road trips!
He doesn't see a therapist, just his normal doctor. He did see a therapist when he first went on his medication and having panic attacks. Bad experience (this was way before we dated).
I'm not sure where he is on driving, to be honest. We haven't talked about it since the last attempt (just before our son was born). I'm not even sure if he wants to try again.
I'm FB friends with a lot of people now. H's (little) cousin just got his license. If history is any indication, H is going to get some shit for this.
I didn't want people seeing that, and thinking it's a secret or anything.
That's all.
And sometimes I feel like I skirt the issue (like when Mel mentioned my H taking my kid to the museum or something so I could sleep in, which can't happen).
Maybe I'm a dick (okay, yeah, I am) but I'd be all "when are you gonna drive, man?!?"
But if it works for you guys, I'm not going to flame.
Currently this is DH because I had a freak attack driving his stick car and mine is too old to take on trips. Thank you jeezus we will be getting a new car next year so I can contribute to the driving on trips. We are renting one for xmas so he doesn't have to do all the driving! Whew.
doglove, you guys should fly. Problem solved. (unless that would mean that I don't get to see you. then save it for next time.)
We will have Willow with us, so we are planning on driving and it's slightly cheaper that way. If we flew, we'd just go direct to Boston so I would miss you and no chance I'm going to let that happen!!!!
Post by captainmel on Oct 17, 2013 19:19:51 GMT -5
Oh and this is a flameful and a bragplaint all wrapped into one. I just realized Boyfriend stayed up late after I fell asleep and did all the dishes. There were a lot of dishes. He's the best.