We had just gotten a holiday routine worked out that was going to work for us when my FIL died on Christmas day last year. Now DH wants to spend this Christmas with his mom, so she's not alone. I understand, of course, but it is going to suck. A lot.
This is the first year since being married the thought of the holidays has not made me panic. Normally, my family and H's family fight over us and who spends more time where, but this year, my mom has been breezy so far. The other week she told me we didn't have to drive there for Thanksgiving if we didn't want to. Then she said she would love to us on Christmas, but if we needed to come the weekend before, we could. That has never happened before. She usually gets upset if we aren't there the actual day of whatever holiday we're spending with them.
Yeah, I'm so not hosting Christmas this year. I really loved doing it, but this year there is just way too much drama. Sil isn't speaking to mil, so we would have to invite one or the other, or both and have mil not show up again this year like she did last year.
Plus, I'm so sick of fucking ungrateful people. I hosted thanksgiving, cooked everything from scratch, cleaned and prepared for days, and for what? For my fil to sit down and openly tell everyone that he hates pumpkin pie because of cinnamon, hates apple pie, isn't a fan of lemon pie either. Oh, and how he prefers yams over sweet potatoes, and how he doesn't even like turkey. So fuck it. Not doing it this year.
Post by melodramatic26 on Nov 4, 2013 13:44:31 GMT -5
When Adele was born 3 years ago, we told the families we weren't driving to see them on Christmas. We already travel to them for Thanksgivng so Christmas is going to be at our house.
It was a HUGE blowup from MIL about "ruining tradition". Complete with storming out of the restaurant and sobbing. I refused to change my position about it. And it's fantastic.
I love having Christmas at our house, but the damn remarks from MIL about how "Christmas USED to be" is annoying as fuck.
This year we live about 2 hours from them and I would not be upset at all if the weather is bad and they can't make it.
I like the holidays. I like them even better when we don't host so we can spend the mornings being lazy, then get ready and go to the IL's for dinner and pie.
No shit, hey? He's always like this, and usually I just brush it off because he's old and drunk, but this was the year that pushed me over the edge. My grandmother just sat there listening to him complain about everything and she got sick of it, so she cut him off and announced that I was a very good cook and thanked me for hosting.
I had no filter with a customer last night. She came in with a 4 month old baby who had the squidgiest cheeks and I was all "OMGah I want to eat her cheeks!". I said that to a stranger. That I wanted to eat her child's face.
Sigh, I was all "Oops I mean she's adorable". The customer laughed and was cool, but geez these are the things I need to think, not say.
The best think we ever did was move away from Florida. Dh's entire family lives there so holidays were spent with anywhere from 50-60 people. Because of so many people it was always held in someone's yard. Because it was south Florida it was always 80 degrees or close to it. Thanksgiving is ALWAYS at noon. Yes they start eating dinner at noon so the children have time to play outside after dinner, WTF.
The first year we moved away I was absolutely giddy at Thanksgiving.
My family lives in TN and the older my parents get the less they want to travel so I either get to spend the holidays in an airport, 12 hours in the car, or with no family. So in a sense the holidays still suck for me
yikes betty, good luck =( I love the holidays but hate the family obligations. Thanksgiving in years past has been so much fun filled with a lot of love. This year, we are obligated to be at family’s house even though I’d much rather be at pantsparty house continuing our Friendsgiving tradition. Instead I’m sad and bitter we have to miss it.
Didn't this happen last year? Last minute you decided to crash dinner?
Hrmph. I'm still buying a 14 pound turkey, because YOU NEVER KNOW.
Yeah last year we decided to just flake on family to go to your place, no regrets chicken! But this year my parents are coming down for TG so I can’t flake. I’m honestly debating trying to get them to come down the weekend before or after though, just to be able to come to yours.
We had such a over dramatic Christmas last year. We where stressed to the max and we were not happy campers mentally. So DH and I vowed not to repeat it. Hence our trip to Kauai next month! So I completely understand why people just want to escape during the holidays.
Plus my Christmas list is short and only those family members who couldn't go with us. (Bro and BIL) I think we made the right decision for us.
The best think we ever did was move away from Florida. Dh's entire family lives there so holidays were spent with anywhere from 50-60 people. Because of so many people it was always held in someone's yard. Because it was south Florida it was always 80 degrees or close to it. Thanksgiving is ALWAYS at noon. Yes they start eating dinner at noon so the children have time to play outside after dinner, WTF.
The first year we moved away I was absolutely giddy at Thanksgiving.
We may be related. If not, I feel you. I go home to this kind of holiday every year.
Yeah, we're probably going to have to drive around for Christmas. That's one thing that sucks about being childless, you can't say, 'The kids are enjoying their Christmas/toys/tree.' You're available, and they know it.
I wish we had kids so we could start our own tradition of having Christmas morning at our house. Instead, both Christmas Eve and Christmas day are sucked up by my in laws, every year for the past 5 years. I like them and all but we end up there, both days, from around 11am to 12am. Too long, too many people.
By the time Christmas is over you wonder where it went because there was no real time to enjoy it.
ETA: Also, 7 layer salad. It is gross. I'm fairly certain one entire layer is just mayo or...something. I don't have the heart to ask because I don't want anyone to think I actually want it.
He isn't even here yet, but I'm feeling emotional about the prospect of my son growing up and getting married and not being close to me anymore...which I fully realize is crazy. Wtf, hormones?
I spent a slightly obscene amount of money on new dishes this weekend. They were my birthday present, so it's gifted money, but still. I finally got a chance to go pick them out on Saturday and I am so geekily happy with them. Goodbye, navy-blue dishes that we registered for and used for eight+ years! Hello, new white dishes that we will hopefully use for 10+ years!
The seasonal bitching reminds me of the upside of living far from family. No multiple Christmases, no traveling, we just stay home and let whomever wants to visit us, visit. Sometimes I miss the hub-bub of family holidays, but I'm glad there's no pressure and no juggling. We'll go to Chicago in mid-December for my cousin's wedding and do a fancy dinner out with some small presents to celebrate with my family, and that's about it. I think I want to have a holiday party in the next two months with some families we've gotten to know, though, and I'll have a fun time planning that.
Post by sparkythelawyer on Nov 4, 2013 14:17:38 GMT -5
After some bumps in the road last year, I "think" I have the holiday schedule pinned down this year in a way that I am ABSOLUTELY ok with.
AND I have managed to wrestle the task of making the gravy away from my ILs. And THANK THE LORD because they make it so damn thick you could use it to hang wallpaper.
Also, my ILs do Thanksgiving on Saturday, so I get two thanksgiving dinners! Woot!
So, I am tentatively excited for the holidays this year :-)
Working on an exhibition of weird but true facts. Did you know that the candy corn made each year could circle the Earth about 6 times. This fact will not make it into my exhibit.
I love the holidays that DH and I get to spend at home alone. It's a 5 hour drive to my family, so we're there for several days, and my mom is a stressful perfectionist who saps the fun out of holidays because everything has to be her way or she becomes a pouty baby.
Holidays with DH's family are nice, just loud and lots of people, so they can just be a bit overwhelming. We alternate which family we'll be spending Christmas with, and I love the Christmas's that are spent with DH's family because we all celebrate Christmas Eve together, and then everyone does their own thing for Christmas Day. DH and I usually spend the day cooking a fancy meal, getting drunk and just relaxing. It's sooo nice.
omg pantsparty - I just got off the phone with my parents. I convinced them that holiday airport travel SUCKS so they should just come visit 2 weeks later instead. SUCCESS. I am the worst family member ever. No Regrets Chicken though.
I hate holidays so much, that I orchestrated it so I will get to spend thanksgiving ALONE! H is going to see his grandfather because he is sick, but we really can't afford 2 plane tickets, and without him here, I cannot handle my family. I'm going to read some trashy books and drink wine all day. I'm super excited.
We stayed home last Christmas and didn't let anyone come over. It was super nice and was the biggest thaw in what had been a very frosty 3 months between H and I (we had barely spoken, except for exchanges about Andy, in that entire time). I feel like that is what holidays really should be about.
I have 39 days of grad school left and I for serious DO NOT think I'm capable of finishing. I have no desire anymore. Even when I FORCE myself to do schoolwork I get distracted in like 19 seconds.
***poof****
No one IRL believes me when I tell them the stress is killing me.