Ugly baby bashing

[Deleted]

Somewhere far, far away in Facebook land, I'm talking thousands of galaxies and Candy Crush requests away, is a little planet we like to call the Closet World. Many moms (myself included) who find themselves overcome with a sick obsession with children's boutique style clothing but a lack of money to pay the full retail amount have created closet pages, separate from their IRL FB pages. On these closet pages, you buy, sell or trade clothing from your kids closet to other moms with similar tastes. You accept most friend requests that have some sort of clothing alliteration in the name. Apparently, a group of moms within the closet world got together and decided to C&P pictures of other children and make fun of them. I'm talking horrendous things, like comparing a sweet little girl to Sid from Toy Story, and then pitying the girl's mom, saying that you "can't fix ugly." It has really rattled the community and pissed a lot of people off, understandably.

Many screen shots were taken within the "secret group." I guess some were sent to the View, as they aired the story this morning. Now, I pose a question:

Should these moms be publicly recognized for their actions? Should any punishment follow? Or should they be allowed to stay anonymous?

Bullying is disgusting. Bullying by moms in regards to other mom's children? No. words.

[Deleted]

Punishment by who?

[mrsbro]

Minus the View sending (although I vaguely remember someone wanting to send screen shots to Ellen or some shit), this whole thing is like MO for every private group on the internet ever.

[LLL]

Were the moms they were bashing part of the private group? If not, I don't think it is bullying. It's gross and mean but I think publishing their names would make the situation even worse

[Deleted]

Nov 7, 2013 13:41:26 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Were they doing it behind the moms' backs or to their faces? If it was behind their backs, I don't think it's bullying. Either way, I don't think their real names should be revealed. Is this against FB TOS in some way? If so, I would not mind if FB canceled their accounts. If not, it would be nice if the rest of the "closet world" would shun the people responsible.

Behind their backs, but eventually exposed and defending their actions with freedom of speech. I'm looking at this so one-sided because if it was my kid, I'd be out for blood, but Facebook has deemed it bullying and the group was shut down.

[anodyne]

As gross as it is, I would take the highroad. Unfriend and block the mom's personal and closet pages and remember to be careful who has access to your children's photos.

[Deleted]

Nov 7, 2013 13:41:30 GMT -5 @schmancy said:

Punishment by who?

Legally. Don't some states have anti-bullying laws? I don't think bullying has to be posted on their FB wall to be bullying, right?

[Deleted]

News article

www.wpbf.com/news/south-florida/palm-beach-county-news/mean-moms-bash-ugly-toddlers-in-secret-facebook-group/-/8815578/22839404/-/lrh9jv/-/index.html

[iamali]

IDK. I think a gang of grown women all getting together and saying something about someone's kid (even unbknownst to them) is pretty shitty. Yeah, yeah, yeah freedom of speech and all that. I GET THAT.

It just shows how ugly they are - YKWIM? People who do ugly things probably would look the other way if their kids participated in something like this too.

Whether or not they should be ousted? IDK.

It's a fine line.

[gozf]

It's mean, to be sure. But I wouldn't pursue legal action. Frankly, I'm a little surprised FB took the group down.

[Deleted]

Nov 7, 2013 13:47:00 GMT -5 @peachesandpinot said:

Nov 7, 2013 13:41:30 GMT -5 @schmancy said:

Punishment by who?

Legally. Don't some states have anti-bullying laws? I don't think bullying has to be posted on their FB wall to be bullying, right?

Oh, I see.

I agree with Tamb, I don't think this is bullying since it was done behind their backs, with the assumption that they would never see it. It's still gross, mean, and stupid to think it wouldn't leak somehow.

[Deleted]

Nov 7, 2013 13:44:43 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Sounds like it's been taken care of.

Would that be justice enough for you as a mom, though? If so, props. I just couldn't see letting it go so easy breezy. Especially the mothers of the disabled kids.

[Purrrposeful]

Agreed re: bullying. Unacceptable. 

Related but not really - have you seen this article? 

www.chicagonow.com/dad-all-day/2013/11/man-sues-wife-over-ugly-kids-and-wins/

[luckyval]

Two wrongs don't make a right in this situation

[thebuddhagouda]

Nov 7, 2013 13:50:50 GMT -5 @peachesandpinot said:

Nov 7, 2013 13:44:43 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Sounds like it's been taken care of.

Would that be justice enough for you as a mom, though? If so, props. I just couldn't see letting it go so easy breezy. Especially the mothers of the disabled kids.

But what exactly are you going to do? Short of vigilante justice and showing up at their house with a crowbar, you don't have a lot of legal options. If it was a closed group mocking people (or their children) behind their backs, it's shitty and JR. Highish, but it's not really bullying or illegal.

[mrsbro]

So a private group I belong to on FB broke into an even more private group to make fun of the original group's ugly children?

Someone from the super secret group took screen captures and told the original group about it?

Now people want torches and pitchforks and public shaming (on the View?!) because people legit called kids ugly and compared one child to Sid from Toy Story?

Sorry I just..Ya, I would tell everyone to go fuck themselves and block people. Maybe not participate in a group like that again. It's all too juvenile to get worked up about. I wouldn't want the news media dragged into it because if I was that upset about people making fun of my kids I wouldn't want my, and their names, affiliated with this type of nonsense.

[Deleted]

As a disclaimer, I have not seen any of the screen shots and wasn't aware of it until it blew up into news. A few of the moms I'm "friends" with had friends who's kids were posted. I have heard rumors that the View will post the original screen shots tomorrow, no blurring of names.

[gozf]

Yeah. It's shitty and awful, but I don't think it's bullying. People say cruel things all the time, on FB, via email, on the phone, in person. It's gossipy and it's unkind, but it's not illegal.

[sunshineluv]

Nov 7, 2013 13:41:34 GMT -5 mrsbro said:

Minus the View sending (although I vaguely remember someone wanting to send screen shots to Ellen or some shit), this whole thing is like MO for every private group on the internet ever.

Making fun of the way children look? Pitying them for their looks in the MO of private groups? I think you are joining the wrong private groups. Goodness, I don't think these women need to be arrested or anything, but I don't think their behavior is typical of ALL private groups.

[thebuddhagouda]

Right? I would be really upset to know that someone had called my kid ugly, but I mean, what am I going to do? Sue them? Demand they pay me a pound of flesh? I honestly don't even think FB should have closed down the group, but since they did I'd say that was enough and simply cut the offending party out of my life.

[snipsnsnails]

If I had the screen shots and it had their names, I'd post away and not blur out any names. Especially if someone was making fun of my DD-who spent time in the intensive care unit as a newborn!- for being delayed. That's so messed up. Don't mess with me and my kids.

[mrsbro]

Nov 7, 2013 13:55:00 GMT -5 sunshineluv said:

Nov 7, 2013 13:41:34 GMT -5 mrsbro said:

Minus the View sending (although I vaguely remember someone wanting to send screen shots to Ellen or some shit), this whole thing is like MO for every private group on the internet ever.

Making fun of the way children look? Pitying them for their looks in the MO of private groups? I think you are joining the wrong private groups. Goodness, I don't think these women need to be arrested or anything, but I don't think their behavior is typical of ALL private groups.

The concept spin-off groups making fun of the original group and that information getting out is not uncommon (coming from interactions on TN, TB, GBCN). So no in my experience with message boards and watching private subgroups implode, no this behavior is not shocking.

[Deleted]

Nov 7, 2013 13:55:24 GMT -5 thebuddhagouda said:

Right? I would be really upset to know that someone had called my kid ugly, but I mean, what am I going to do? Sue them? Demand they pay me a pound of flesh? I honestly don't even think FB should have closed down the group, but since they did I'd say that was enough and simply cut the offending party out of my life.

Hate Speech

Facebook does not permit hate speech, but distinguishes between serious and humorous speech. While we encourage you to challenge ideas, institutions, events, and practices, we do not permit individuals or groups to attack others based on their race, ethnicity, national origin, religion, sex, gender, sexual orientation, disability or medical condition.

I think they crossed the TOS when they posted the picture of the disabled child with the hateful comments about her looks

[LLL]

What would posting their screennames on The View accomplish? As shitty as their comments were, it wasn't meant for public consumption. Now you are going to have a whole group of sanctimonious assholes who are going to attempt to teach the "bullies" a lesson

[iamali]

Nov 7, 2013 14:01:52 GMT -5 @peachesandpinot said:

Nov 7, 2013 13:55:24 GMT -5 thebuddhagouda said:

Right? I would be really upset to know that someone had called my kid ugly, but I mean, what am I going to do? Sue them? Demand they pay me a pound of flesh? I honestly don't even think FB should have closed down the group, but since they did I'd say that was enough and simply cut the offending party out of my life.

Hate Speech

Facebook does not permit hate speech, but distinguishes between serious and humorous speech. While we encourage you to challenge ideas, institutions, events, and practices, we do not permit individuals or groups to attack others based on their race, ethnicity, national origin, religion, sex, gender, sexual orientation, disability or medical condition.

I think they crossed the TOS when they posted the picture of the disabled child with the hateful comments about her looks

IDK that this qualifies as hate speech, as shitty as it is.

[thebuddhagouda]

Nov 7, 2013 14:03:11 GMT -5 LLL said:

What would posting their screennames on The View accomplish? As shitty as their comments were, it wasn't meant for public consumption. Now you are going to have a whole group of sanctimonious assholes who are going to attempt to teach the "bullyers" a lesson

Not to mention that the mother of the child and the poor child him/herself will have to see it plastered all over the world when the media creates the shitstorm it does so well.

If it was my kid being made fun of, I would NOT want him turned into a national spectacle.

[LLL]

OMG. I can't believe I used the word "bullyers" as if it's a real word. fuck -__-

[anodyne]

Nov 7, 2013 14:03:11 GMT -5 LLL said:

What would posting their screennames on The View accomplish? As shitty as their comments were, it wasn't meant for public consumption. Now you are going to have a whole group of sanctimonious assholes who are going to attempt to teach the "bullyers" a lesson

This is a HUGE issue.  These women were wrong and their is no excuse for their behavior.  That said, just last week the Boston Marathon Victim Halloween costume girl was getting death threats.  What if something happens to one of these women?  Could there be civil recourse? Exposing names while blinded by rage may make them just as bad, if not worse than the Mean Moms.

[thebuddhagouda]

Nov 7, 2013 14:10:20 GMT -5 anodyne said:

Nov 7, 2013 14:03:11 GMT -5 LLL said:

What would posting their screennames on The View accomplish? As shitty as their comments were, it wasn't meant for public consumption. Now you are going to have a whole group of sanctimonious assholes who are going to attempt to teach the "bullyers" a lesson

This is a HUGE issue.  These women were wrong and their is no excuse for their behavior.  That said, just last week the Boston Marathon Victim Halloween costume girl was getting death threats.  What if something happens to one of these women?  Could there be civil recourse? Exposing names while blinded by rage may make them just as bad, if not worse than the Mean Moms.

I just cannot get that worked up about it. It is absolutely wrong to mock the appearance of others, but it's not a legal issue. I'm not going to pretend I've never said to my husband or a close friend "So, you know, so and so's kid.....not that cute". Sure, I haven't created a FB group just to discuss ugly kids, but....

[gozf]

Nov 7, 2013 14:13:56 GMT -5 thebuddhagouda said:

Nov 7, 2013 14:10:20 GMT -5 anodyne said:

This is a HUGE issue.  These women were wrong and their is no excuse for their behavior.  That said, just last week the Boston Marathon Victim Halloween costume girl was getting death threats.  What if something happens to one of these women?  Could there be civil recourse? Exposing names while blinded by rage may make them just as bad, if not worse than the Mean Moms.

I just cannot get that worked up about it. It is absolutely wrong to mock the appearance of others, but it's not a legal issue. I'm not going to pretend I've never said to my husband or a close friend "So, you know, so and so's kid.....not that cute". Sure, I haven't created a FB group just to discuss ugly kids, but....

To the electric chair with you!!!