Post by montereybride on Dec 10, 2013 1:56:02 GMT -5
I shall preface this with the following: I do not have a relationship with my mother. She is crazy (not an actual diagnosis). My life is better without her in it. K? K.
Last week, my brother called me to let me know that my mom was going in for a biopsy for a lump in her arm. Her doctors were "very concerned" and she would likely need surgery immediately.
I was skeptical that it was as serious as she was making it out to be and immediately felt like the world's biggest asshole for feeling that way.
I spent the majority of last week trying to figure out what it would mean to me to lose my mom to cancer and how I would reconcile that and all those emotions with how I actually feel about her and how I would mother my siblings in her absence and how I would try to take care of their needs.
She was faking. She made it all up. It was a ploy for attention.
I have no fucking words. At all. They are all gone. All of my words are gone.
Oh man....that blows hard. I'm so sorry you have had to deal with that. It sounds like you are better off with her removed from your life. Hugs and hair-pats from me to you.
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"
Like you said, you're better off without her. Your mom sounds a lot like my H's mom, he cut her out 2 years ago and he has been a happier person ever since. ((Hugs)) This just proves that the decisions that you've made regarding her are the right ones.
Post by montereybride on Dec 10, 2013 2:17:38 GMT -5
I haven't had a relationship with her for as long as I can remember but my brother, god love him, can't or won't cut her out. He has called me so many times just on the edge of tears and breaking down because she is so hurtful. I listen and offer support and just try to love him through it but it breaks my heart every damn time. I hate her for what she does to him and wish she would find a way through my defenses to fuck with me instead.
Post by gretchenindisguise on Dec 10, 2013 2:28:08 GMT -5
I just want you to come move in with me so I can show you that people aren't always crazy. But as I was typing this I remembered your posts on your girlfriends and extended family and felt relieved.
This isn't normal. Neither is your husband.
I am glad you have us and the people in your life to keep you sane through this.
I just want you to come move in with me so I can show you that people aren't always crazy. But as I was typing this I remembered your posts on your girlfriends and extended family and felt relieved.
This isn't normal. Neither is your husband.
I am glad you have us and the people in your life to keep you sane through this.
Biggest warmest hugs.
You are so amazing, Gretchen. You all are. Seriously.
I'm mostly pissed at myself for expending valuable energy on her and for thinking that it could be something when I knew it was nothing. I know better.
I just want you to come move in with me so I can show you that people aren't always crazy. But as I was typing this I remembered your posts on your girlfriends and extended family and felt relieved.
This isn't normal. Neither is your husband.
I am glad you have us and the people in your life to keep you sane through this.
Biggest warmest hugs.
You are so amazing, Gretchen. You all are. Seriously.
I'm mostly pissed at myself for expending valuable energy on her and for thinking that it could be something when I knew it was nothing. I know better.
But it's understandable to hope, especially at this time of year, for an ounce of normalcy to shine through.
The holidays make us want to see the better side of people. I'm sorry she took advantage of that.
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"
I'm so sorry monterey. You're a good person and a good person wants to believe the best in people, because of course you would never in a million years do the same thing. (((hugs)))
Damn, that's messed up I'm sorry you expended any energy worrying about her. I hope your brother can eventually cut her out of his life as well so she will stop messing with him. (((hugs)))
I just want you to come move in with me so I can show you that people aren't always crazy. But as I was typing this I remembered your posts on your girlfriends and extended family and felt relieved.
This isn't normal. Neither is your husband.
I am glad you have us and the people in your life to keep you sane through this.
Biggest warmest hugs.
You are so amazing, Gretchen. You all are. Seriously.
I'm mostly pissed at myself for expending valuable energy on her and for thinking that it could be something when I knew it was nothing. I know better.
Even crazy people get cancer. You didn't know anything. You suspected, but you didn't KNOW if she was faking or not. Don't hold yourself responsible for things on which you couldn't possibly have facts.
Post by runforrest on Dec 10, 2013 10:08:01 GMT -5
Holy shit. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that, and even though I'm sure you know you are better off without her in your life, it is hard to reconcile because she is, after all, your mom.
Huge hugs, and also I think it is amazing that you are such a support system for your brother/other siblings with this. You sound wonderful.