Overwhelmed. Hubs & I booked 2 more days in FL. Drinking.

[treedimensional]

Cheap hotel, but good wine. I realllllllly need to decompress.
Has anyone ever cleaned up after a hoarder? Please commiserate. I'll be up for at least an hour before the wine crashes me.
The odor, the cockroaches... I have been dry-heaving all day.

[Deleted]

I've been in a rental that was vacated was left covered in roaches and garbage.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Did a family member pass?

[treedimensional]

Dec 30, 2013 20:44:12 GMT -5 @kcpokergal said:

I've been in a rental that was vacated was left covered in roaches and garbage.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Did a family member pass?

Yes. One hoarder passed away, the other is incapacitated and it looks like I'll have to find a nursing home and move her closer to me. 
I loathe cockroaches worse than anything, and they are flipping ENORMOUS here.

[Deleted]

Ew. I can only imagine. I've seen the giant roaches that get in clean homes down South.

[mrspez07]

Are you wanting to see/sort/inventory everything or just get it cleared out? If its the latter would it be worth it to hire someone? Not sure what kind of companies do such things, but might spare some of your sanity.
1-800-got--junk advertises around here. Disaster recovery company? I know you mentioned in your other post the trash/junk guys for a roll-off didn't call you back.

So sorry you are having to deal with this.

[treedimensional]

Dec 30, 2013 21:10:55 GMT -5 mrspez07 said:

Are you wanting to see/sort/inventory everything or just get it cleared out? If its the latter would it be worth it to hire someone? Not sure what kind of companies do such things, but might spare some of your sanity.
1-800-got--junk advertises around here. Disaster recovery company? I know you mentioned in your other post the trash/junk guys for a roll-off didn't call you back.

So sorry you are having to deal with this.

Unfortunately I am sorting thru it as I go. There is NO organization, so important papers could be anywhere. I have found evidence of bank accounts, post office boxes, credit cards, you name it. Some of them have been real eye openers, and some only leave me with more questions (like this type of information, but with a name I've never heard before... WHO is this person and why is this in my mothers/sisters possession?).

[kaylie]

Darn, I was hoping things were going better for you down there. My grandma's place wasn't that bad but she did have a lot of stuff. Is there anyone who can come help you?

[bunnymendelbaum]

I'm so sorry you are gong through this.

[mrsemilys]

Oh Tree, I am so sorry.

[auntie]

I'm sorry tree.

BTDT, the circumstances were a little different. It was Maine (so green head flies rather than roaches and cold) and we weren't under the same sort of time constraints you working under. My aunt was demented as well as acquisitive. One of her cottages was filled with unopened boxes from her move to year round living in Maine. The cruel irony? I packed many of them on spring break from college in 1978. At the time my mother and I tried to get her to donate some of the stuff, but she just couldn't because she might "need" it.

But the worst part was the sheer ickiness of having to sift through personal stuff. The $1K I found hidden in a basket of dirty socks and panties. The uncashed checks she made copies of but never took to the bank. The crosswords she did to keep herself mentally alert- over time she stopped filling them in and then finally started to just cut out the grid portion. OMG and the guns. I knew there'd be guns, but I had no idea how many and where we'd find them. My favorite was the small pistol I found in a hollowed out book titled "Best Practices in Secondary Education"- again with the irony. And the correspondence? OMG my uncle was a letter writer and he saved copies of everything. There were letters like the one to General Mills commenting that his cereal was a little too dark and the one excoriating his brother for bringing shame to the family in some of child sexual abuse scandal I'd only ever heard hinted at. Ugly stuff.

[treedimensional]

Dec 31, 2013 0:42:47 GMT -5 @bluesky said:

Dec 30, 2013 21:26:30 GMT -5 treedimensional said:

Unfortunately I am sorting thru it as I go. There is NO organization, so important papers could be anywhere. I have found evidence of bank accounts, post office boxes, credit cards, you name it. Some of them have been real eye openers, and some only leave me with more questions (like this type of information, but with a name I've never heard before... WHO is this person and why is this in my mothers/sisters possession?).

also a tip.  If you think you may "lose" some of the persons bank accounts or safety deposit boxes, just check your counties controller office for "unclaimed property".  Check it periodically for a few years as things may pop up.  I did it for my deceased relative and found lots of stuff for her.  I thought our estate attorney would do that but she didn't even know the website existed!

Wow. Thanks.

[treedimensional]

Dec 31, 2013 7:39:28 GMT -5 auntie said:

I'm sorry tree.

BTDT, the circumstances were a little different. It was Maine (so green head flies rather than roaches and cold) and we weren't under the same sort of time constraints you working under. My aunt was demented as well as acquisitive. One of her cottages was filled with unopened boxes from her move to year round living in Maine. The cruel irony? I packed many of them on spring break from college in 1978. At the time my mother and I tried to get her to donate some of the stuff, but she just couldn't because she might "need" it.

But the worst part was the sheer ickiness of having to sift through personal stuff. The $1K I found hidden in a basket of dirty socks and panties. The uncashed checks she made copies of but never took to the bank. The crosswords she did to keep herself mentally alert- over time she stopped filling them in and then finally started to just cut out the grid portion. OMG and the guns. I knew there'd be guns, but I had no idea how many and where we'd find them. My favorite was the small pistol I found in a hollowed out book titled "Best Practices in Secondary Education"- again with the irony. And the correspondence? OMG my uncle was a letter writer and he saved copies of everything. There were letters like the one to General Mills commenting that his cereal was a little too dark and the one excoriating his brother for bringing shame to the family in some of child sexual abuse scandal I'd only ever heard hinted at. Ugly stuff.

Yes, lots of random info coming to light here too.
If there was a wad of cash in all the clothes, then my donation was worth a lot more than I thought. Lots of coins everywhere. And a 3rd Reich wristwatch, and a schedule of steamer ships making Atlantic crossings. No guns so far, but I did find bullets, so who knows.
Going to nursing home today to see mom and discuss moving her with the admins, but she's in such bad shape, she could pass away at any time.

[thewop]

That all sounds horrible. I'm sorry. Thinking of you.

[TBM]

Know that we are thinking of you and wish that we could help you in some way. ((hugs))

[Deleted]

That's all so awful. Hugs and good thoughts sent your way.

[mrs.jacinthe]

OMG, I'm really sorry. If it helps any, I find the big southern roaches are easier to deal with than the tiny northern ones. At least with the big ones, you're not likely to miss a hitchhiker, if you KWIM. I wish I lived closer, I'd come help you out.

I talked to my mother (my parents are on the verge of hoarder, but not *quite* there yet thanks to the size of their house) and mom was saying that their reticence to get rid of things at this point comes from being unwilling to mentally face that they had let it get as bad as it was. She couldn't understand the mess, either. I went from being angry at their mess to sorry for them in one sentence. I know it's probably not truly helpful, but it changed the way I looked at their collecting/keeping of stuff. While I'm not looking forward to cleaning out the house when they move or die, I'll be coming at it from a better place - I'm performing a service and doing something my mom just can't.

Many hugs to you. Many many many.

[downtoearth]

So sorry. I'm glad your DH is there!

[sjh722]

Sorry you're dealing with all this. I wish we were all closer, we could offer some help.

[prazenjc]

I haven't had to deal with what you are, but am sending T&P's your way.

Started writing a heart-felt platitude, but decided to just send virtual (((hugs))) instead, along with the T&P's.

[treedimensional]

Dec 31, 2013 11:57:46 GMT -5 downtoearth said:

So sorry. I'm glad your DH is there!

Me too! He has been AWESOME, nothing short of superb, at both cleaning/sorting thru junk, and at deciphering the piles of bills and related financial/legal mess.

[treedimensional]

Dec 31, 2013 11:55:57 GMT -5 mrs.jacinthe said:

OMG, I'm really sorry. If it helps any, I find the big southern roaches are easier to deal with than the tiny northern ones. At least with the big ones, you're not likely to miss a hitchhiker, if you KWIM. I wish I lived closer, I'd come help you out.

I talked to my mother (my parents are on the verge of hoarder, but not *quite* there yet thanks to the size of their house) and mom was saying that their reticence to get rid of things at this point comes from being unwilling to mentally face that they had let it get as bad as it was. She couldn't understand the mess, either. I went from being angry at their mess to sorry for them in one sentence. I know it's probably not truly helpful, but it changed the way I looked at their collecting/keeping of stuff. While I'm not looking forward to cleaning out the house when they move or die, I'll be coming at it from a better place - I'm performing a service and doing something my mom just can't.

Many hugs to you. Many many many.

Your understanding and compassion are very evident.
Hoarding is like any other compulsive behavior. People who do it are often embarrassed or ashamed. Hoarders tend to keep to themselves, so people won't find out. I used to be a compulsive overeater. Very similar, except you can't hide obesity. The shame and feelings of "how did I let this get so bad" are the same.

[house]

I am so sorry you are going through this! {{Hugs}}

[sailorgray]

Aw, tree, I am sorry. There is a house by us where the gentleman sat on his porch all of the time in a recliner. He must have passed away or went into a home bc there have been professional cleaners there for about a week and his recliner is gone. My h and I are thinking he was a hoarder bc the equipment and the manner in which they are leaning is something we have never seen. He was older and sick. I think it was just too much for him. Sad situation. I'll be thinking of you.

[pitterwoo]

Yes, but my hoarder doesn't have roaches.  Just ants, termites, stink bugs and occasional mice. The mold is the biggest issue. So anyway, you definitely need a respirator mask, thick latex gloves and maybe even eye protection depending on some cleaning tasks. If you need to protect your clothes there are those disposable tyvek suits.  This lady seems pretty happy with hers:


I'm really sorry that it's all come to this.  I agree with mrs J that it makes me more sad than angry anymore. It's still just an awful thing to have to deal with and awful that these loved ones have lived in these conditions and there's nothing that could stop it.  

[emoflamingo]

I'm so sorry Tree.

[treedimensional]

The house is loaded with books. Everywhere, in every single room, even bathrooms, and every single closet. We've donated some, put some to paper recycling, and thrown away many because they were too filthy to deal with.
There is SO. MUCH. STUFF. We've been here 5 days and I feel like I haven't accomplished a thing.

[kayakjenn]

I helped a friend sort through her hoarder Uncle's place. What we ultimately decided was to spend our time searching for anything valuable or neccessary for the estate and to hire a clean-out company for the rest. I was literally climbing over piles of junk. We did find money, antiques and valuable papers. I'm sure a lot of other valuable stuff went in the trash but you can only do so much and sometimes the effort it takes to sell things just isn't possible (we had an ebay goldmine but not the time to do it.)

One thing that I was greatful for was that my tetnus shot was up to date, I got a nasty puncture wound that could've been much worse. We also wore masks much of the time. The showers I took at the end of each day were heaven.

[susieq]

I can only imagine what you are having to deal with. My grandparents recently passed away and although not hoarders they were unable to do anything for probably the past 15 years as far as maintenance / good cleaning. My dad and I spent 7 days the first trip when they were put into a nursing facility, 10 days when my grandpa passed away and most recently 4 days when my grandma passed cleaning and going through their stuff. They lived 12 hours away from us and we did not realize what a mess was there. I cannot even fathom what it would take to go through a hoarders house.

I will keep you all in my prayers and remember to take the time you need to keep yourself healthy also.

[Deleted]

I'm about to start on a project like this, but not on a personal level. My coworker is a hoarder and I'm going in as a paid professional to help her clean out and get rid of her storage unit. I'm hoping (for her sake) to move onto her garage and house later. As for my DH's grandmother, who is a hoarder of legendary levels, not touching it. Her home is so filled with roaches, fleas, dirt, feces, etc, that I'm praying that her son takes care of it. If not, we'll just leave it to the bank to deal with, as she has a massive reverse mortgage on it. (thank goodness) If it were up to me to deal with (or DH and his sisters) we'd just let the entire thing burn. Fortunately there is likely nothing at all of value in there, either monetary or sentimental.

[katie4253]

My grandfather was a hoarder. When he met his wife she basically said they had to move, but he kept the old house. It was literally filled. Like, you couldn't walk into some rooms. He had a bunch of crap, but he also had thousands of antique duck decoys. Many of them were worth thousands of dollars each. It was insane. He was the 2nd largest duck decoy collector in the world. In their "nice" house he hand hundreds, but the "other" house had that and then just so much trash. Cleaning it out took months. My cousin is still really traumatized by it. I wasn't there for much of the clean out, because I lived far away. But, she was. She was there for everything.