My parents paid my tuition, and I am so grateful to them. I had a rough semester toward the start - I think my second semester? - and I am glad they didn't give up on me or refuse to help out any more. I paid my rent, books, food, etc. from sophomore year on, but they still helped with tuition until I got married. (I got married after my junior year, but I made a complete and total major change right before I should have graduated so ended up in school forever.)
My husband's parents on the other hand refused to help with school. My mom said MIL told her at one point that one of the older children (H is the youngest of 4) did a semester of college and did really badly, so my in-laws apparently thought their money had been wasted and refused to help anyone with school anymore, including the younger children. It's worth noting that neither of my in-laws graduated college, they each did a semester and that is it.
My H had to work full time while going to school in order to help pay for it, and it was hugely taxing on him. Then I found out his parents had gotten the hope credit for him on their taxes- I'm still mad about that for him, but he is much more forgiving than I. He worked his butt off and has minimal debt from undergrad, but is now in grad school and it is just impossible for him to work, so we are plunging into debt now.
Sometimes I wonder what made the education fire come alive in him - none of his siblings went to college (not surprising I guess since his parents were so unsupportive.) One of his sisters got her Associates a few years ago by doing night classes at the local community college. H is so driven and motivated, which I love.
Her dad was remarried, and her mom offered to pay about $2k more per year, so long as her dad would match it. Her stepmom wouldn't let him match it, so her mom wouldn't give her any more money.
WTF. I do not understand why one parent would make their gift contingent on the other parent. Get over yourself- you are just punishing your kid in the end, not your X. That sort of thing is so ridiculous... Sad for your friend :-(
My parents intended to pay for college. It was a mix of financial aid, loans, and cash. They also covered living expenses, but not spending money. I worked since I was 14, and was always happy to make my own money for going out, shopping, traveling, etc. I graduated with about $10-$15K in student loans. They paid the payments on them until we got married, at which case I told them I wanted to take over the rest.
DH had $20K of student loans when we got married.
We aren't sure yet how we will handle paying for college, but we will certainly do our best to contribute. I have zero hang-ups about the idea of my kids working or taking out some reasonable loans though if that is what makes sense at the time.
Post by MadamePresident on Mar 4, 2014 15:10:10 GMT -5
I went to the community college for my first two years then transferred to a university. My parents paid for about 1/2 at the beginning. The rest of it I had to cover on my own. I received some scholarships, but I also paid for the rest of it. I worked really hard and chose inexpensive schools, so I didn't have to take out any student loans.
Undergrad I paid for with loans mostly, a few tiny scholarships, working while in school (work study) & in the summer full time. I actually transferred schools after afresh year in part to go somewhere that was cheaper out of state.
I graduated with $35k in SL & my parents let me move home. I paid off a decent chunk before going to grad school almost 2yrs later. I made crap at my job between ($7.5-$15/hr).
Grad school I had scholarships that paid for 35% roughly of everything. I worked in & out of school. I accrued another $35K in SL. I moved back home again until I was married.
In no way am I bitter about my parents not giving me cash for college. Neither are any of my 4 siblings...between us we have 4 Bachelors, 2 Masters, a Doctorate & a Ph.D. in progress. SL suck but we are all doing just fine.
DHs parents/grands paid for everything in undergrad & grad and he never worked, not even in summers. I honestly never met anyone who was in that circumstance until him. I could not believe it when he first told me. It was SO far out of my comprehension back then.
Post by peachdragon on Mar 4, 2014 15:15:52 GMT -5
My mom told me my stepdad would've paid for my college, but he didn't need to because I got a full tuition scholarship. My father paid for my books. I also got a few cash music scholarships that I got to keep for myself :-).
my parents paid for nothing. between scholarship money and working I didn't have any debt from undergrad other than a v. small perkins loan. I also got scholarship money for grad school tuition, and used SL to cover everything else. then, after supporting me in no way whatsoever, they tried to claim me as a dependant. lolz.
maybe they would have helped if I had more to pay for, but I doubt it. none of my sibs got any money either.
I used to be on a message board where one of the posters thought that it was a given that grandparents help contribute to their grandchildren's educations. I thought that this was hilarious. This idea was not at all realistic in my family. One of my grandmothers was a widow, and both sides of my family had over 10 grandchildren each.
My grandmother did. Because she died. At age 54. I was 3 and about $75k went into a trust fund to be used for my education (there were educational stipulations attached to the account, but they were less strict than a 529 - for example, you could argue that pretty much any trip was "educational.") I was her only grandchild when she made her will.
But yeah, barring tragedy, that seems pretty entitled. "Oh, so mom and dad? I've got a lot of other shit to do, so it's no prob for you to save tens/hundreds of thousands of dollars for my kids while you're also trying to retire, right?"
That's awesome when people can do it (I could see my parents helping) but 3/4 of my grandparents were deceased before I was in college and the remaining grandparent was poor. I also have about 15 first cousins on that side.
My parents and maternal grandparents had put away ~$30k for my education. However, my dad passed away at the end of my freshman year and I received a substantial life insurance payout so in the end I had more than enough for my in-state tuition and living expenses. I did work throughout, as well.
DH received ~$500/month from his dad and worked throughout also. He ended up with <$20k in loans.
Oh, and my husband had his expenses paid for as well. Granted, back in the olden days, a full year at his undergrad was a bit over $20k (undergrad tuition alone is now $45k*). My FIL was also unemployed for about two years around that time, and then his senior year my SIL started college, so his financial aid package was pretty generous. His parents made up the difference though.
In grad school, he took out about $20k in student loans for living expenses over 5 years. He had a living stipend, but it was like $800/month and... well, Los Angeles.
But hey a $20k student loan is not bad for 11 years of private education. Not to mention, his loan rates are ridiculously low, like 2.1%.
*His school is one of the schools that offers free tuition/grants for students with household incomes under $100k, though.
Attending college was non-negotiable for me. My parents have me the equivalent of a full in-state scholarship. If I wanted to go to an out of state school, I had to pay the difference. I worked through college for fun money and received a fee waiver, so the parents have me the balance when I graduated. I bought a new (to me) car with the money since my sister was getting the car my parents were loaning me. I also was on the hook for grad school and have about $10k left in debt for that. I think they paid about $40k.
They did the same for my sister, who is 7 years younger. Except they moved and costs increased, and my sister's in state scholarship from my parents was $87k (in state!). My dad wanted to write me a check to make things between my sister and I equal but my mom (rightly) kiboshed that.
I had the Florida prepaid program which covered my tuition. I got a decent amount of financial aid and plenty of private scholarships to cover housing and books. I worked part time for fun money and they paid for my gas and car insurance.
My father died the summer in between my freshman and sophomore years which spurred my mom to kick butt with her real estate business and bumped up her income a lot to manage. I graduated with undergrad and a master's degree (grad assistantship + three jobs and her help with gas and car insurance) and no debt.
My parents paid for my first 2 years at a JC. So about $1000. Then I xferred to a expensive university and took out loans. I still lived at home, so they paid board and food.
My mom was pretty clear that she wouldn't be able to pay for much, if anything. I took out loans and she helped out where she could, which I think ended up probably being maybe 1,000/year or so and paying my car insurance. I worked and paid for my living expenses and books. Towards the end of my senior year my grandma came out of nowhere with a chunk of found money from my deceased grandfather's veterans benefits that she gifted me and I paid off some of my loans with that, but then I went to grad school so I'm still paying off loans.
My parents paid for my tuition, books, and room and board (and rent and grocery money when I moved from the dorm to an apartment), and a very small amount of incidental money, but anything other than that was on me. I had a part time job from sophomore to senior year that took care of the rest, which was minor - mostly going out and a bit of shopping.
One of my friends ended up getting a full ride scholarship all four years, and her parents gave her the tuition money as her graduation gift. I was like omg. If my parents had made me that offer, I would have probably tried harder to get scholarships. lol.
My parents paid for my tuition, books, and room and board (and rent and grocery money when I moved from the dorm to an apartment), and a very small amount of incidental money, but anything other than that was on me. I had a part time job from sophomore to senior year that took care of the rest, which was minor - mostly going out and a bit of shopping.
One of my friends ended up getting a full ride scholarship all four years, and her parents gave her the tuition money as her graduation gift. I was like omg. If my parents had made me that offer, I would have probably tried harder to get scholarships. lol.
LOL, what else is there? Money for beer, maybe?
I lived on campus (I was an RA) so the few hundred bucks I made a month went to things like personal items/sundries, movies, gas (or bus fare my first 2 years), going out with friends, ordering take-out to watch ER with my BFF on Thursday nights, etc.
I paid for all of the college I ever completed...and honestly, I don't really think it's the parents responsibility to pay for college. It would have been nice to have some help though. It got to be too overwhelming working and going to college. I am not against helping my kids in some capacity (heck they can live at home and eat food, that's helpful!) but I expect them to get good grades, apply for scholarships etc. DH and I need to make sure our retirement future is secure before we completely pay for college.
I knew there was no college fund. I used my high school graduation money to pay for my first semester and worked throughout college. I was lucky that tuition was low and that my part time job covered my expenses.
Let's see. My parents never said they would pay (and didn't have a dime saved) but intended to help cosign with loans etc. I was a silly, silly girl and went to a private liberal arts university to start. They gave me a partial scholarship and created such a financial aid package that it actually didn't look that out of line. So dumb at 18, I was so dumb.
My first year they were still married and took out a parent plus loan and cut a check for around $8,000 if I remember correctly. Then shit hit the fan, they ended up divorcing eventually and almost had our home foreclosed before selling it just in time.
While the divorce was going on, my dad cashed out his 401k to prevent my mom from getting half. He used a chunk of that money to pay off the plus loan to really stick it to her. Whenever my mom is really scraping the bottom of the barrel and being completely horrible to me, she throws this in my face. Like I had anything to do with it. I'm assuming this will be her argument for us to take care of her in old age since she has saved nothing for retirement.
I transferred from a small private liberal arts university to a state school half way through my sophomore year since it was evident the charade of even remotely being able to afford the first school was over.
My last year at school my parents had such horrible credit from the near foreclosure that they didn't qualify to cosign on any of my loans. I only had unsubsidized private options left. I had to ask an aunt (fall semester) and family friend (spring) to cosign in order to finish school.
I had about $40,000 in federal and $14,000 in private loans when I graduated (I think? I know the private was $14,000). More than half of that was from those three semesters at the private school, even after the $8,000 and parent plus loan.
My parents paid for my tuition and books my freshman year. Then I was an RA which provided my room for me, and I took over paying for books. When I went back for a second degree, I paid for books, and all the prerequisites but they covered tuition again. I've been paying myself for my grad classes.
My parents paid nothing - it was sort of implied that I'd probably just get a scholarship (my mom was a National Merit Scholar and got a full-ride). I got maybe a $1000 scholarship? I had some music scholarship offers from a number of $$$$ private liberal arts schools, but it was still cheaper to go in-state public university.
I went 100% on loans. I worked a bit, but that money went toward books, clothes, gas, etc. Between undergrad and grad school, I still have a very sad amount of student debt.
Post by daisypaloma on Mar 4, 2014 16:36:00 GMT -5
Save $500 grant and a $5K loan during undergrad, I paid for everything (tuition, room and board, books, living expenses, etc). I paid for my BBA and my MBA.
My parents were poor, and had their own struggles as it is. I currently have no SL, but I graduated from both State schools.
DH on the other hand; got a lot of help from his grandparents (room and board, $20K tuition loan, etc). He also have $40K in Federal loan. He went to a private school, so all is not lost, but he's still at the beginning stage of his career. If we ever have a windfall, those suckers will be paid off asap.
Post by imojoebunny on Mar 4, 2014 16:48:36 GMT -5
My parents paid with the condition that I got all A's and B's and that I majored in something I could make a living at, business. I worked every chance I got (crappy job market in college town, so minimum wage), and went to the cheapest decent school I could find. I am grateful for them doing that.
The worst I remember was a friend whose parents said they would pay. She started, they promptly bought matching jaguars, and told her she was on her own. She tried for a semester, worked a ridiculous amount while trying to take classes. She didn't qualify for student loans because of her parents income, at least not ones that she could get on her own, and ended up having to drop out.
My parents could barley pay their bills and to them a woman only went to college long enough to "find a husband". I'm very independent and I didn't want to start my life with debt so I joined the navy so I could go to college debt free.
My parents would have paid if they had the money. My dad paid for my first year, and then I qualified for grants after that. I paid all my own living expenses. I left college with about 15K in student loans, and that was because I used it to buy a car.