He'd lose his phone immediately and for a long period of time. Then there would be a very serious conversation. Depending on his reaction/remorse/attitude, there might be additional punishment.
He would lose his phone plus other privledges. We would have a long talk along with grounding him. When his punishment was over he would get a job, so he had less time to make bad choices like sending dick pics, and also so he could pay his cell phone bill going forward, and he would only be allowed to have the shittiest phone with out a camera or apps.
If I saw the actual pics? Completely grossed out would be my first reaction. Then I'd be pissed off. I'd like to say that I'd be shocked but a 16 year old kid doing this probably wouldn't surprise me at all. Even though it wouldn't surprise me, I'd be extremely pissed and my kid would have some serious consequences.
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
"You. You and your crazy life. You and your geographic anomaly. You and your drunken lesbianic ways and terrible navigational skills." - ProfArt and her holy baby
I ask because a very dear friend of mine very casually said the other night, "So, I think 16 yo son is sending pictures of his penis on Snap Chat. Oh well."
I was all "Er?"
She seriously thinks it's just 'what the kids are doing these days', NBD.
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
Post by karmasabiotch on Apr 19, 2014 22:24:24 GMT -5
Lose the phone and Internet. If a 15 year old gets a hold of it he could be charged with distributing child porn, at least in MI. I would be very upset.
And the other thing is, this kid has a ton of behavioral/developmental issues (he's adopted). I just wonder if... idk, maybe she feels like this is the least of his problems? Picking her battle?
Yeah, but doesn't this have the possibility of becoming a legal issue? Least of his issues could very easily become his biggest one. (Don't kids get charged with having child porn or whatever if they text pics like this?)
Not a parent, but the immediate consequence would be to take away his phone. And when I finally returned it, it would be in the form of a 90s brick with only calling capabilities.
After I got done freaking out, I'm sure I would think of more. Fuck. I would be so angry.
And the other thing is, this kid has a ton of behavioral/developmental issues (he's adopted). I just wonder if... idk, maybe she feels like this is the least of his problems? Picking her battle?
Yeah, but doesn't this have the possibility of becoming a legal issue? Least of his issues could very easily become his biggest one. (Don't kids get charged with having child porn or whatever if they text pics like this?)
Yes. They do. This is no joke. I can't believe a parent can be so cavalier about something like this.
Also, adoption doesn't necessarily = behavioral/developmental issues. I am sure you don't think it does... it's just a subject that is sensitive to me.
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
Rage, run over phone with the car, more rage, grounded until he goes to college, rage again, ALL privileges and freedoms gone.... Then let H deal with him.
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
I would take a lot of deep breaths to calm the fuck down. Then we would have a frank discussion about what happens to your pictures after you send them out into the world, the probable reality of the "hot 17yo girl in other stare", and the potential legal consequences. I would suggest he delete everything on his phone he didn't want me to see, then hand it over to me to delete snapchat and similar apps as well as disable the camera.
*This did happen with my 14yo nephew who stayed with us for 3mos last summer. It was tricky, because I didn't want to violate his privacy by going through all of his pictures and texts (which is what my mom wanted us to both do) because I wanted him to trust me andplusalso some things can't be unseen. At the same time I wanted to reinforce DO NOT SEND R+ RATED PICTURES, AND NO TEENAGE GIRL IS GOING TO ASK FOR THAT, and ensure that he wasn't continuing to do so. His parents treat him like crap, esp his stepmom, and don't even give him the opportunity to make decisions good or bad. I didn't want to do more of the same by going through his phone because I knew if there were other pictures, texts, etc of that nature he would be embarrassed and humiliated, and then angry and resentful, and just get sneakier. I didn't want to take his phone away completely because that was his main way of communicating with his siblings and Dad (my brother), also us when we weren't home, and I do believe that responsibility has to develop and it can't if there are no opportunities. But no camera, limited apps, and no way to download apps without us putting in the password made his phone capabilities pretty limited. I also told him that I set up his phone through the carrier to send copies of all incoming/outgoing texts to my email, so not to have any conversations he didn't want me to read. Which I don't think is even possible, but he didn't know that.
It certainly was a huge deal to me, and I couldn't just brush it off. Based on his reaction to our conversations I think he was literally so naive that he had no clue about these things. If he were more knowledgeable and aware, I don't know that this approach would have worked. I have no clue what I would have done.
I don't even know where to post an intro here! I was on TK/TN/TB since 2003, mostly local boards. I was m_and_m.
"I speak without reservation from what I know and who I am. I do so with the understanding that all people should have the right to offer their voice to the chorus whether the result is harmony or dissonance. The worldsong is a colorless dirge without the differences that distinguish us, and it is that difference that should be celebrated not condemned." -Ani Difranco
I heard an interesting discussion on NPR last week about this exact topic. The interview had a few parents discussing teens sexting and ways to talk to your child about it and how they feel about it.
I am not a parent so I didnt have a thought eiter way before hearing it. There was an interesting part about teens using sexting as a way of exploring their sexuality AS LONG AS it was wanted from both parties participating. I would recommend listening to the discussion for any parent going through that situation as a way to maybe see more opinions before going straight to rage.
I would think that a whole lot of boys that age are sending very suggestive pics if not full on dick pics. :/
ETA: I said majority the first time, but that's probably a pessimistic over-estimate.
I am scared because from what I know of Snapchat, this is what a lot of kids are doing with it. WTF are we in for when my toddler is a teen? Anyhow, I don't know that I would worry so much about this being a warning sign of future behaviour and red flags, as it is a warning sign that a shit ton of parents are either unaware of this technology or in denial, and there needs to be a whole lot more of the reprocussions people have suggested earlier in this thread. I feel like sexting is today's "if everyone else was jumping off a bridge..."
Post by thelurkylulu on Apr 20, 2014 1:22:55 GMT -5
Unfortunately, this is so common amongst kids these days. It is terrifying. There have been several incidents this year at our high school/junior high. The latest one involves 7th & 8th grade girls snap chatting naked pics, which were screen shot and then passed around. The pictures ended up on a high school boy's Instagram and he is now trying to avoid some sort of child porn charge. (He is saying he didn't realize the girls weren't 18.) Such a shitty situation all the way around.
It blows my mind this has become a standard thing to do when the consequences can screw up their entire future. I fear for what will be "normal" behavior when my kids are this age. Honestly, how do you prevent it? You can't be with them every minute of the day. Scares me to death.