Moms, help me please.

[sugarbear]

DS is 14 months old. For about the last 5 months, he's insisted on having his hand down my shirt, somewhere near a nipple, as long as I'm holding him. It does in there the second I pick him up, and settles him immediately. I let it go for awhile -- and I regret that, though I'm not sure that at 8-9 months he would have been able to stop-- but it's becoming awkward. I have to wear v-neck shirts. He's (obviously) indiscriminate, so whenever we are in public and I'm holding him, his hand is on my boob.

I'm getting to the point where I need to nix this, but how? I'm having visions of him with his hand down my shirt at 3. I can't do it.

If it makes a difference in your advice (and please, I'll take any), he is still nursing 2-3x per day. I have no plans to wean him, though I am going away for a couple days in July and if he's showing signs of slowing down prior to my trip, I'll probably let him wean while I'm gone.

Halp!

[ijack]

Eh. Is probably just move it when he does it and tell him "no thank you" over and over.

[Kristinmo]

Tell him no and redirect. Put something different in his hand or set him down when he does it.

[bornbaker]

I agree with the redirection advice. Does he have a lovie of any kind yet to put in his hand instead? If not is there something you could start possibly using as a lovie?

I think just the "no thank you" and redirection will work. Might take awhile but probably the best option.

[cbwm1]

Jermys might have some insight here. lol

[VeryViolet]

Does he have a lovey of some kind? It sounds like it is a comfort thing and I wonder if you took a lovey with you if he would be okay with holding that. I don't know if that would create a whole separate set of issues though with attachment to the stuffed animal or whatever. I think somehow teaching him another way to soothe himself may help though.

[Deleted]

My son used to do this and some of his friends even did it to me too when I was holding them. Just tell him "no thank you" and move his hand. It's totally normal and he will stop.

[hopecounts]

If he doesn't have a lovey make one out of some minky fabric (buy a yard and do a number of squares so you can rotate)
Then start by placing that under his hand and letting him hold it, then once he is comfy with the lovey move it to over the shirt and from there you can leave it or move it to just holding the lovey.

[rumble]

May 20, 2014 17:12:18 GMT -5 sugarbear said:

DS is 14 months old. For about the last 5 months, he's insisted on having his hand down my shirt, somewhere near a nipple, as long as I'm holding him. It does in there the second I pick him up, and settles him immediately. I let it go for awhile -- and I regret that, though I'm not sure that at 8-9 months he would have been able to stop-- but it's becoming awkward. I have to wear v-neck shirts. He's (obviously) indiscriminate, so whenever we are in public and I'm holding him, his hand is on my boob.

I'm getting to the point where I need to nix this, but how? I'm having visions of him with his hand down my shirt at 3. I can't do it.

If it makes a difference in your advice (and please, I'll take any), he is still nursing 2-3x per day. I have no plans to wean him, though I am going away for a couple days in July and if he's showing signs of slowing down prior to my trip, I'll probably let him wean while I'm gone.

Halp!

Why do you "have" to wear v-neck shirts? Why are you giving your kid a "fast pass" for something he shouldn't be in line to do in the first place?

And? You could have stopped this 5 months ago if you just "said no/redirected the hand" like PP are suggesting. That will still work, but it's going to be met with a lot more resistance because you've been encouraging this behavior for so long now by not doing anything to stop it.

[underwaterrhymes]

K does this too. I'm in here for the replies.

[lissaholly]

Do you know why he is doing this? Comfort, habit? Are you nursing for comfort or for nutrition? If he sees your boobs comfort, then you might want to redirect towards a comfort item. If it is more habit, then I think a slow redirection could work.


DD did this, too. I think it became a habit and a means for warmth in the winter. She started getting grabby and going for the nipple. No. I slowly redirected. If she went too deep, the hand was removed and she would settle her hand in a shallower spot. Eventually the hand just started resting on whatever skin was showing in the shirt I wore. Amd now she will just tuck her arms down against my chest/ belly when she wants a comfort embrace.

[underwaterrhymes]

May 20, 2014 18:02:25 GMT -5 rumble said:

May 20, 2014 17:12:18 GMT -5 sugarbear said:

DS is 14 months old. For about the last 5 months, he's insisted on having his hand down my shirt, somewhere near a nipple, as long as I'm holding him. It does in there the second I pick him up, and settles him immediately. I let it go for awhile -- and I regret that, though I'm not sure that at 8-9 months he would have been able to stop-- but it's becoming awkward. I have to wear v-neck shirts. He's (obviously) indiscriminate, so whenever we are in public and I'm holding him, his hand is on my boob.

I'm getting to the point where I need to nix this, but how? I'm having visions of him with his hand down my shirt at 3. I can't do it.

If it makes a difference in your advice (and please, I'll take any), he is still nursing 2-3x per day. I have no plans to wean him, though I am going away for a couple days in July and if he's showing signs of slowing down prior to my trip, I'll probably let him wean while I'm gone.

Halp!

Why do you "have" to wear v-neck shirts? Why are you giving your kid a "fast pass" for something he shouldn't be in line to do in the first place?

And? You could have stopped this 5 months ago if you just "said no/redirected the hand" like PP are suggesting. That will still work, but it's going to be met with a lot more resistance because you've been encouraging this behavior for so long now by not doing anything to stop it.

So you're kind of a douchebag, yes?

[Alyssa]

My 2 year old son does this to everyone; myself, my mom, my SIL...my husband. You hold him and he will grab at your boobs or pat and poke them. He's not focused on them, he does it while he's looking at other stuff. I move his hand and redirect him because it is awkward and I don't like being groped by my own child in public.

[rumble]

May 20, 2014 18:06:08 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

May 20, 2014 18:02:25 GMT -5 rumble said:

Why do you "have" to wear v-neck shirts? Why are you giving your kid a "fast pass" for something he shouldn't be in line to do in the first place?

And? You could have stopped this 5 months ago if you just "said no/redirected the hand" like PP are suggesting. That will still work, but it's going to be met with a lot more resistance because you've been encouraging this behavior for so long now by not doing anything to stop it.

So you're kind of a douchebag, yes?

I'm genuinely curious why somebody that claims to be upset by their child's behavior would be dressing themselves (or engaging in any other behavior) in a way that is conducive to said behavior continuing. If that makes me douchebag, so be it.

[underwaterrhymes]

May 20, 2014 18:14:57 GMT -5 rumble said:

May 20, 2014 18:06:08 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

So you're kind of a douchebag, yes?

I'm genuinely curious why somebody that claims to be upset by their child's behavior would be dressing themselves (or engaging in any other behavior) in a way that is conducive to said behavior continuing. If that makes me douchebag, so be it.

Did you miss the part where she's still nursing? Breastfeeding is a lot easier with V-neck shirts.

[lissaholly]

May 20, 2014 18:16:08 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

May 20, 2014 18:14:57 GMT -5 rumble said:

I'm genuinely curious why somebody that claims to be upset by their child's behavior would be dressing themselves (or engaging in any other behavior) in a way that is conducive to said behavior continuing. If that makes me douchebag, so be it.

Did you miss the part where she's still nursing? Breastfeeding is a lot easier with V-neck shirts.

.

You know the kid is still going to try to stuff his hand down a turtleneck right? Or worse under a turtleneck? I mean, I get what you are saying but she is trying to be discreet not accommodating. Plus yeah, BF.

[underwaterrhymes]

May 20, 2014 18:37:04 GMT -5 lissaholly said:

May 20, 2014 18:16:08 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

Did you miss the part where she's still nursing? Breastfeeding is a lot easier with V-neck shirts.

.

You know the kid is still going to try to stuff his hand down a turtleneck right? Or worse under a turtleneck? I mean, I get what you are saying but she is trying to be discreet not accommodating. Plus yeah, BF.

Did you mean to quote me? We're arguing the same point.

[kristinschmistin]

May 20, 2014 18:16:08 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

May 20, 2014 18:14:57 GMT -5 rumble said:

I'm genuinely curious why somebody that claims to be upset by their child's behavior would be dressing themselves (or engaging in any other behavior) in a way that is conducive to said behavior continuing. If that makes me douchebag, so be it.

Did you miss the part where she's still nursing? Breastfeeding is a lot easier with V-neck shirts.

JFC she's not freaking out. She's just asking for tips.

OP I agree w others who suggested just moving his hand. Re-direction will work best.

I can relate. DS is almost 9 mo. He does the same thing. I wear him a lot so it's not visible when he does. I also think when you wean he will naturally stop doing it if the redirection doesn't work.


Sent from my Droid. Just kidding. #droidsucks #iphoneluvr4lyfe #butIhaveaPCtoo #itsmyDENALI

[kristinschmistin]

May 20, 2014 18:47:05 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

May 20, 2014 18:37:04 GMT -5 lissaholly said:

.

You know the kid is still going to try to stuff his hand down a turtleneck right? Or worse under a turtleneck? I mean, I get what you are saying but she is trying to be discreet not accommodating. Plus yeah, BF.

Did you mean to quote me? We're arguing the same point.

I don't know why I quoted you... Sorreh! That was meant for the person who was all yelling at OP- rumble

[circa1978]

Hey, my kid did this until he was almost three. I never thought to blame my wardrobe before, but I should have known it was all my fault. Thanks rumble!

OP, I just redirected and he grew out of it.

[rumble]

May 20, 2014 18:50:11 GMT -5 kristinschmistin said:

May 20, 2014 18:16:08 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

Did you miss the part where she's still nursing? Breastfeeding is a lot easier with V-neck shirts.

JFC she's not freaking out. She's just asking for tips.

OP I agree w others who suggested just moving his hand. Re-direction will work best.

I can relate. DS is almost 9 mo. He does the same thing. I wear him a lot so it's not visible when he does. I also think when you wean he will naturally stop doing it if the redirection doesn't work.


Sent from my Droid. Just kidding. #droidsucks #iphoneluvr4lyfe #butIhaveaPCtoo #itsmyDENALI

I didn't say OP was "freaking out". I'm really not trying to start a lynch mob here, I just want to know why she's saying that she "has" to wear v-necks when there are other things she can wear that wouldn't allow her son to make a beeline for second base when out in public.

[Deleted]

May 20, 2014 19:15:42 GMT -5 rumble said:

May 20, 2014 18:50:11 GMT -5 kristinschmistin said:

JFC she's not freaking out. She's just asking for tips.

OP I agree w others who suggested just moving his hand. Re-direction will work best.

I can relate. DS is almost 9 mo. He does the same thing. I wear him a lot so it's not visible when he does. I also think when you wean he will naturally stop doing it if the redirection doesn't work.


Sent from my Droid. Just kidding. #droidsucks #iphoneluvr4lyfe #butIhaveaPCtoo #itsmyDENALI

I didn't say OP was "freaking out". I'm really not trying to start a lynch mob here, I just want to know why she's saying that she "has" to wear v-necks when there are other things she can wear that wouldn't allow her son to make a beeline for second base when out in public.

Change your tone and start over. Your first post came off like you are a sanctimonious bitch.

[janiejones]

Somebody recently mentioned to me that her daughter did this, and then replaced it by putting her arm down her own shirt to self sooth. I wonder if that might work?

I like the slow transition with a minky square idea, I bet that would work too.

[W.T.Faulkner]

May 20, 2014 18:14:57 GMT -5 rumble said:

May 20, 2014 18:06:08 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

So you're kind of a douchebag, yes?

I'm genuinely curious why somebody that claims to be upset by their child's behavior would be dressing themselves (or engaging in any other behavior) in a way that is conducive to said behavior continuing. If that makes me douchebag, so be it.

I don't know why I'm laughing so hard at this.  This is the most ridiculous thing.  Rumble, what is your issue?

TURTLENECKS FOREVER OKAY SUGARBEAR?

[Jermys]

Both of my kids were boobie babies and they've both grown out of it. I always figured it was good for bonding and something they needed, so I never discouraged it.

[Jermys]

Andalsoplus, they both did it in public, and to others. No one ever pressed charges.

[kristinschmistin]

Here's some more info on turtlenecks in case you're interested www.buzzfeed.com/mjkiebus/the-ultimate-ode-to-turtlenecks-6ygq?s=mobile


Sent from my iPhone

[kristinschmistin]

May 20, 2014 19:22:26 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Both of my kids were boobie babies and they've both grown out of it. I always figured it was good for bonding and something they needed, so I never discouraged it.

Kind of a confession but when DS is HANGRY, he bashes his face against my boobs. Kind of hilarious. He's a little aggressive sometimes lol


Sent from my iPhone

[sonrisa]

Why do you have to wear v-necks? (comfort? uniform? nursing?) Can you layer a camisole under it so he can only get through one layer? I'd start by changing my clothes to buttoned blouses and high neckline t-shirts. (I nurse all day and just lift or unbutton).I would also focus on forward facing carriers rather than having him face in. Once I'd changed his environment to make it more difficult, I'd find a small lovie toy and keep it in my pocket. Every time he reached for the breast I'd move his hand and give him the toy.

[W.T.Faulkner]

May 20, 2014 19:24:01 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Andalsoplus, they both did it in public, and to others. No one ever pressed charges.

But you were probably wearing V-NECK T-SHIRTS THE WHOLE TIME, LIKE A HUSSY