CONFESSIONS!

[omeomi]

I haven't worked in 4 years and I'm scared shitless about getting a job again.

It was XFI's wish that I didn't work, so that we would have time/opporunity to travel or do whatever on a whim. And I didn't mind that. I liked being a SAHW. But now that he's left me with moths fluttering in my bank account, I have no choice. I've been out of my field for long enough that I'm afraid all I'll be able to get is some crap minimum wage job that I hate.

And since I had to move to a smaller area for the time being, the super shitty job market here isn't helping my anxiety about this.

[sparkles17]

I don't know how to masturbate. I've masturbated a total of three times in my whole life, twice in my 20s (I'm 37) And once just a few months ago. And the only reason that I did it recently because I was horny for my boyfriend and he wasn't around. The worst part was, I had no idea how to do it and it took forever. :::hangs head in shame:::

[doriswe]

Jul 17, 2012 19:44:51 GMT -5 @sparkles17 said:

I don't know how to masturbate. I've masturbated a total of three times in my whole life, twice in my 20s (I'm 37) And once just a few months ago. And the only reason that I did it recently because I was horny for my boyfriend and he wasn't around. The worst part was, I had no idea how to do it and it took forever. :::hangs head in shame:::

Holy jeezz....really?? Where's pervy Aunt Zelda when you need her to take this little one under her wing??

[doriswe]

I have another one....usually when I talk about my mom I tell people how strong she is and what a fabulous role model she is since she raised us all on her own and never complained. But once she has a man in her life she turns into the biggest fucking door mat ever. Currently, her "man friend" is here and just prior to his arrival, she started to hide things she didn't want to talk to him about, she bought food that he'd enjoy, she had to pack for their trip because she didn't want him to scold her for not doing it right....I could go on, but it's lame and it annoys the shit out of me.

I've also told her, in no uncertain terms, how I feel about this....but she's terrified of being alone.

[imalwaysme79]

Sparkles, you reminded me of something...

I don't understand how some women can't orgasm. I seriously think about this a lot, because I can so easily, and multiple times. My BFF is 28 and has never had an orgasm in her life. It completely boggles my mind.

ETA: I suppose this really isn't a confession of my own, but a confession of I think about it a lot?! LoL

[sparkles17]

Jul 17, 2012 19:51:50 GMT -5 imalwaysme79 said:

Sparkles, you reminded me of something...

I don't understand how some women can't orgasm. I seriously think about this a lot, because I can so easily, and multiple times. My BFF is 28 and has never had an orgasm in her life. It completely boggles my mind.

ETA: I suppose this really isn't a confession of my own, but a confession of I think about it a lot?! LoL

Thank God I can orgasm during sex, just not by myself LOL And it makes me sad to think of never orgasming, like what's the point ;-)

[Deleted]

My confession is that I could have wrote this myself expect for the calling it off part. It sucks to want to be with someone but KNOW they are bad news for you.

Jul 17, 2012 15:45:15 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Jul 17, 2012 15:41:22 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

My confession is that I know I need to break up with LB and I'm only digging myself in a deeper hole by the day with him... but I also keep saying, "I'll do it after this" or "I'll do it after that" or "I'm going to wait and see if he shaves his beard". I need to be flamed for this.

Oh, sister!!! I will flame you....which will also flame me. Okay. BIG confession: after I broke it off with Z I kind of continued to hang out with him and said the same thing: "Oh I know this won't work but I will just hang out with him this weekend." Or "Oh, I will just see him tonight and will break up with him for real tomorrow." and you know what?? He ended up continuing to be SUCH a DOUCHE that this past weekend I cried the entire damn weekend. I finally said to myself: "self, WTF are you doing??? You know that this IS NOT who you want to be with! Get some self respect and end this shit!" and I did. While it sucks, is sucks FAR less than dragging this BS out for months. END IT. NOW.

[roselis]

Jul 17, 2012 16:07:42 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Okay...one more confession. Then I am done.

I may have stalked Z's XW and gotten her address, phone number and email address. I was his first relationship after his split. I am *really* trying to talk myself OUT of contacting her to see if Z was as big of a douchecanoe when he was with her as he was with me. I know it would do anything but I really, really want to contact her.

DO NOT DO IT!

[jojoandleo]

Jul 17, 2012 19:48:54 GMT -5 doriswe said:

I have another one....usually when I talk about my mom I tell people how strong she is and what a fabulous role model she is since she raised us all on her own and never complained. But once she has a man in her life she turns into the biggest fucking door mat ever. Currently, her "man friend" is here and just prior to his arrival, she started to hide things she didn't want to talk to him about, she bought food that he'd enjoy, she had to pack for their trip because she didn't want him to scold her for not doing it right....I could go on, but it's lame and it annoys the shit out of me.

I've also told her, in no uncertain terms, how I feel about this....but she's terrified of being alone.

My mom is also a strong woman who raised us well and worked damn hard to make sure we were always provided for, but she is codependent. I have never REALLY seen my mom single. She has always had a man in her life. In fact, she married my current step dad after dating a week (they had known each other for years, but only dated a week). I love my step-dad, but COME ON MOM! She is not a doormat and sticks up for herself, but she never let herself just be alone. And now she is trying to dissuade my sister from dating too soon with her impending divorce and I am all, "well, do you SEE where she gets it?" My whole family is codependent, and I was too until my year of therapy.

Don't let this be you, blackkitty. It may be frustrating trying to find a good guy, but that doesn't mean you should settle for a douche. Being alone is better than being with an asshole.

[roselis]

So, which confession would you ladies like,
The guy whose number I deleted because I was getting attached or
The former FWB who is again a current FWB even though it's probably a bad idea

[doriswe]

Jul 18, 2012 7:14:38 GMT -5 @roselis said:

So, which confession would you ladies like,
The guy whose number I deleted because I was getting attached or
The former FWB who is again a current FWB even though it's probably a bad idea

Ahhhh, both!

[starryfish]

Jul 17, 2012 16:08:55 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Jul 17, 2012 16:07:42 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Okay...one more confession. Then I am done.

I may have stalked Z's XW and gotten her address, phone number and email address. I was his first relationship after his split. I am *really* trying to talk myself OUT of contacting her to see if Z was as big of a douchecanoe when he was with her as he was with me. I know it would do anything but I really, really want to contact her.

Okay WTF? Throw away this information! Who cares if he was a douchecanoe then or not. MOVE ON!!!!!!

This times a MILLION!!!!!!!!

[blackkitty]

Jul 17, 2012 16:50:27 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Jul 17, 2012 16:08:55 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Okay WTF? Throw away this information! Who cares if he was a douchecanoe then or not. MOVE ON!!!!!!

LISTEN TO YOUR OWN DAMN ADVICE. LMAO....I love this.

My advice is don't stalk your ex-boyfriend! Trust me, once I break up with him I won't be stalking his exes! No way. Breaking up is way harder than not stalking his exes!!

[bullygirl979]

Jul 18, 2012 10:00:41 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Jul 17, 2012 16:50:27 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

LISTEN TO YOUR OWN DAMN ADVICE. LMAO....I love this.

My advice is don't stalk your ex-boyfriend! Trust me, once I break up with him I won't be stalking his exes! No way. Breaking up is way harder than not stalking his exes!!

I am not stalking HIM! And I am not *really* stalking her. I just happened to get her information. I was contemplating messaging her to see if she wanted to chat. Not like a creepy, stalker thing. I am not THAT crazy!

[blackkitty]

Jul 18, 2012 10:03:44 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Jul 18, 2012 10:00:41 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

My advice is don't stalk your ex-boyfriend! Trust me, once I break up with him I won't be stalking his exes! No way. Breaking up is way harder than not stalking his exes!!

I am not stalking HIM! And I am not *really* stalking her. I just happened to get her information. I was contemplating messaging her to see if she wanted to chat. Not like a creepy, stalker thing. I am not THAT crazy!

You just "happened" to get her information!! LMAO.
Sure you did... let me guess, a little bird told you?

[dakotadangerdog]

Jul 18, 2012 10:03:44 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Jul 18, 2012 10:00:41 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

My advice is don't stalk your ex-boyfriend! Trust me, once I break up with him I won't be stalking his exes! No way. Breaking up is way harder than not stalking his exes!!

I am not stalking HIM! And I am not *really* stalking her. I just happened to get her information. I was contemplating messaging her to see if she wanted to chat. Not like a creepy, stalker thing. I am not THAT crazy!

LOL Bully, I am PRETTY SURE that tracking down your ex boyfriend's ex wife's information IS CREEPY STALKER BEHAVIOR

[bullygirl979]

Jul 18, 2012 10:08:26 GMT -5 dakotadangerdog said:

Jul 18, 2012 10:03:44 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

I am not stalking HIM! And I am not *really* stalking her. I just happened to get her information. I was contemplating messaging her to see if she wanted to chat. Not like a creepy, stalker thing. I am not THAT crazy!

LOL Bully, I am PRETTY SURE that tracking down your ex boyfriend's ex wife's information IS CREEPY STALKER BEHAVIOR

Okay, so maybe it wasn't rational. But I meant that I wasn't calling her and hanging up, sitting outside her house, etc. She showed up as a friend suggestion on FB. Apparently we have a mutual friend in common. I was all "holy shit!" and looked at her FB page. Her phone number and email address is right on there. So again, it isn't like I was really LOOKING to get her info. It kind of landed in my lap and I looked into it.

[dakotadangerdog]

Jul 18, 2012 10:15:24 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Jul 18, 2012 10:08:26 GMT -5 dakotadangerdog said:

LOL Bully, I am PRETTY SURE that tracking down your ex boyfriend's ex wife's information IS CREEPY STALKER BEHAVIOR

Okay, so maybe it wasn't rational. But I meant that I wasn't calling her and hanging up, sitting outside her house, etc. She showed up as a friend suggestion on FB. Apparently we have a mutual friend in common. I was all "holy shit!" and looked at her FB page. Her phone number and email address is right on there. So again, it isn't like I was really LOOKING to get her info. It kind of landed in my lap and I looked into it.

Okay okay that doesn't sound so bad. It sounded like you went out of your way to track that shit down.

but still. Don't talk to her.

[bullygirl979]

Jul 18, 2012 10:20:22 GMT -5 dakotadangerdog said:

Jul 18, 2012 10:15:24 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Okay, so maybe it wasn't rational. But I meant that I wasn't calling her and hanging up, sitting outside her house, etc. She showed up as a friend suggestion on FB. Apparently we have a mutual friend in common. I was all "holy shit!" and looked at her FB page. Her phone number and email address is right on there. So again, it isn't like I was really LOOKING to get her info. It kind of landed in my lap and I looked into it.

Okay okay that doesn't sound so bad. It sounded like you went out of your way to track that shit down.

but still. Don't talk to her.

Yeah, I kind of realized afterwards that it sounded MUCH worse than what it was lol. I am not a trainwreck to that degree! I won't contact her, but I want to.

[jojoandleo]

Jul 18, 2012 10:23:37 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Jul 18, 2012 10:20:22 GMT -5 dakotadangerdog said:

Okay okay that doesn't sound so bad. It sounded like you went out of your way to track that shit down.

but still. Don't talk to her.

Yeah, I kind of realized afterwards that it sounded MUCH worse than what it was lol. I am not a trainwreck to that degree! I won't contact her, but I want to.

Okay-XFI-one of the first girls I suspected him of cheating on me with, after we broke up, I contacted her on FB. I told her I was sorry I was such a bitch to her, that I suspected my BF of having a thing for her and I shouldn't have blamed her for that, blah blah blah. She messaged me back saying they WERE dating, he told her I was just his psycho roommate who had a thing for him and when he broke up with her "for me" (even though we were ALREADY DATING) she also blamed me. That she was sorry for blaming the girl too. We are still friends to this day.

Was it trainwrecky and trashy to contact her? Yes. Was I completely wasted and emotional? Yes. But it turned out pretty well. I got a friend out of being a creepy stalker. LOL.

*NOTE* I am not suggesting you do this, just throwing it out there that you are not alone. *END NOTE*

[roselis]

Jul 18, 2012 7:15:38 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Jul 18, 2012 7:14:38 GMT -5 @roselis said:

So, which confession would you ladies like,
The guy whose number I deleted because I was getting attached or
The former FWB who is again a current FWB even though it's probably a bad idea

Ahhhh, both!

1) He was a friend I met when XH and I started dating. First a friend of XH. We lost touch shortly after XH and I got engaged because XH's schedule changed and he couldn't go to their regular meetup. After XH and I separated, I ran into him again at the restaurant where he works (which is one of the places my group frequents). We exchanged numbers and hooked up shortly after my divorce was final. We talked and agreed to definitely do it again. Then a few weeks go by and nothing. Still saw him at work when my group would go and he would hint at it. I would text him and no reply. Started to get frustrated and realized I was getting attached. So I deleted his number and figured if he wants to meet up again, he can contact me. So far nothing.

[bullygirl979]

Jul 18, 2012 10:53:14 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Jul 18, 2012 10:23:37 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Yeah, I kind of realized afterwards that it sounded MUCH worse than what it was lol. I am not a trainwreck to that degree! I won't contact her, but I want to.

Okay-XFI-one of the first girls I suspected him of cheating on me with, after we broke up, I contacted her on FB. I told her I was sorry I was such a bitch to her, that I suspected my BF of having a thing for her and I shouldn't have blamed her for that, blah blah blah. She messaged me back saying they WERE dating, he told her I was just his psycho roommate who had a thing for him and when he broke up with her "for me" (even though we were ALREADY DATING) she also blamed me. That she was sorry for blaming the girl too. We are still friends to this day.

Was it trainwrecky and trashy to contact her? Yes. Was I completely wasted and emotional? Yes. But it turned out pretty well. I got a friend out of being a creepy stalker. LOL.

*NOTE* I am not suggesting you do this, just throwing it out there that you are not alone. *END NOTE*

He and his XW split about 6 months before I met him. I guess I just want to contact her because I just truly don't understand why he did some of the things that he did in our relationship. Talking with him isn't an option, his family is obviously biased so she is the next best thing. I have nothing against her, have never met her, have never talked to her. But I wonder if she can give me some insight on him given she was with him for 3 years. It is totally stupid and rationally I know that it doesn't matter. But I am stuck on why. I know I need to just let it go and move on. In the grand scheme of things, why doesn't matter. But right now I am having a hard time and I am stuck.

[doriswe]

Jul 18, 2012 10:59:54 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Jul 18, 2012 10:53:14 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Okay-XFI-one of the first girls I suspected him of cheating on me with, after we broke up, I contacted her on FB. I told her I was sorry I was such a bitch to her, that I suspected my BF of having a thing for her and I shouldn't have blamed her for that, blah blah blah. She messaged me back saying they WERE dating, he told her I was just his psycho roommate who had a thing for him and when he broke up with her "for me" (even though we were ALREADY DATING) she also blamed me. That she was sorry for blaming the girl too. We are still friends to this day.

Was it trainwrecky and trashy to contact her? Yes. Was I completely wasted and emotional? Yes. But it turned out pretty well. I got a friend out of being a creepy stalker. LOL.

*NOTE* I am not suggesting you do this, just throwing it out there that you are not alone. *END NOTE*

He and his XW split about 6 months before I met him. I guess I just want to contact her because I just truly don't understand why he did some of the things that he did in our relationship. Talking with him isn't an option, his family is obviously biased so she is the next best thing. I have nothing against her, have never met her, have never talked to her. But I wonder if she can give me some insight on him given she was with him for 3 years. It is totally stupid and rationally I know that it doesn't matter. But I am stuck on why. I know I need to just let it go and move on. In the grand scheme of things, why doesn't matter. But right now I am having a hard time and I am stuck.

It.will.not.help. You know the truth....just leave it alone, please and thank you. There is no why that will ever make you feel better....let it go!

[starryfish]

Jul 18, 2012 10:59:54 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Jul 18, 2012 10:53:14 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Okay-XFI-one of the first girls I suspected him of cheating on me with, after we broke up, I contacted her on FB. I told her I was sorry I was such a bitch to her, that I suspected my BF of having a thing for her and I shouldn't have blamed her for that, blah blah blah. She messaged me back saying they WERE dating, he told her I was just his psycho roommate who had a thing for him and when he broke up with her "for me" (even though we were ALREADY DATING) she also blamed me. That she was sorry for blaming the girl too. We are still friends to this day.

Was it trainwrecky and trashy to contact her? Yes. Was I completely wasted and emotional? Yes. But it turned out pretty well. I got a friend out of being a creepy stalker. LOL.

*NOTE* I am not suggesting you do this, just throwing it out there that you are not alone. *END NOTE*

He and his XW split about 6 months before I met him. I guess I just want to contact her because I just truly don't understand why he did some of the things that he did in our relationship. Talking with him isn't an option, his family is obviously biased so she is the next best thing. I have nothing against her, have never met her, have never talked to her. But I wonder if she can give me some insight on him given she was with him for 3 years. It is totally stupid and rationally I know that it doesn't matter. But I am stuck on why. I know I need to just let it go and move on. In the grand scheme of things, why doesn't matter. But right now I am having a hard time and I am stuck.

Seriously, WHY do you care though? WHY do you want to know?

my ex-bf was an abusive asshole, but i am not reaching out to his ex-gf or anyone else to find out WHY or more info or to find if he did that stuff to her. WHy? because it will NOT help!!!!!

[dakotadangerdog]

Jul 18, 2012 11:30:14 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Jul 18, 2012 10:59:54 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

He and his XW split about 6 months before I met him. I guess I just want to contact her because I just truly don't understand why he did some of the things that he did in our relationship. Talking with him isn't an option, his family is obviously biased so she is the next best thing. I have nothing against her, have never met her, have never talked to her. But I wonder if she can give me some insight on him given she was with him for 3 years. It is totally stupid and rationally I know that it doesn't matter. But I am stuck on why. I know I need to just let it go and move on. In the grand scheme of things, why doesn't matter. But right now I am having a hard time and I am stuck.

Seriously, WHY do you care though? WHY do you want to know?

my ex-bf was an abusive asshole, but i am not reaching out to his ex-gf or anyone else to find out WHY or more info or to find if he did that stuff to her. WHy? because it will NOT help!!!!!

THIS