Is it harassment if someone compliments you and you don't know this person? I get annoyed by catcalls just like everyone else, but if someone I don't know says something nice, I'm not slapping them with a card and acting like I'm being harassed. I think that's a little bit over the top.
You know its interesting. H and I have a good friend who is dealing with it. He and H have lunch almost daily. Almost every single day someone tells this guy he should be a model. Is it a compliment? Sure. But it gets old really fast. I wouldn't call it harassment, although sometimes it does devolve into that. It depends on how it is said, IMO. I was out with them in a situation where it got really uncomfortable because the female waitress would not let it go.
But really, I think people should just refrain from commenting on the looks of others unless you know the person and you know it will be a compliment. Like, I would say to a friend "I love your new hair cut! It looks great." But its weird to stop a random stranger and say "Wow! I love your hair!" is it harassment? Generally not (at least I don't think) but its strange at least to me.
Now, I'm going to disagree with you on that. I am super vain about my hair. It was hideous when I was a kid and now it looks amazing. I have random women stop me all the time to tell me they love my hair and it makes me feel amazing. Random men stopping me makes me feel really weird, but I get women stopping me almost daily, and it makes me very, very happy. But, like I said, I'm really vain.
You know its interesting. H and I have a good friend who is dealing with it. He and H have lunch almost daily. Almost every single day someone tells this guy he should be a model. Is it a compliment? Sure. But it gets old really fast. I wouldn't call it harassment, although sometimes it does devolve into that. It depends on how it is said, IMO. I was out with them in a situation where it got really uncomfortable because the female waitress would not let it go.
But really, I think people should just refrain from commenting on the looks of others unless you know the person and you know it will be a compliment. Like, I would say to a friend "I love your new hair cut! It looks great." But its weird to stop a random stranger and say "Wow! I love your hair!" is it harassment? Generally not (at least I don't think) but its strange at least to me.
And I'm always randomly telling people I like their top or hair or purse or whatever. Interesting.
Please feel free to tell me I look amazing anytime you want. I love being complimented, even by strangers! Stranger compliments are the best! If some random lady stops to tell me my dress looks amazing, then I know she must really mean it! If two random ladies in the same day stop me, I know to keep that dress forever! :-)
I see this as very different from the time I was valeting my MINIVAN downtown and some creep pulled up and shouted his hotel name and room number to me. NO.
We natural girls LOVE IT when someone tells us our hair is beautiful. Just as long as you don't go making any cracks or comparisons to any of the following people or situations, the Black Panthers, Aunt Jemima, the 70s, nappy headed dolls from the 30's, pickannies, etc. Please note that this is not an exhaustive list. When in doubt, please stick to words like Awesome, I love it, and you look good. It is also in your best interest to avoid reaching out towards our hair in any fashion or even looking as us as if you would love it if we invited you to touch.
I once happened upon a man at a book fair so stunning that I stopped and stared and then told him he was gorgeous and went about my business. Was that wrong?
I also am known to tell strangers I really like their hair, shoes, jacket, etc....... males and females. I'm messy, I guess.
We natural girls LOVE IT when someone tells us our hair is beautiful. Just as long as you don't go making any cracks or comparisons to any of the following people or situations, the Black Panthers, Aunt Jemima, the 70s, nappy headed dolls from the 30's, pickannies, etc. Please note that this is not an exhaustive list. When in doubt, please stick to words like Awesome, I love it, and you look good. It is also in your best interest to avoid reaching out towards our hair in any fashion or even looking as us as if you would love it if we invited you to touch.
Post by irishbride2 on Jul 22, 2014 14:43:57 GMT -5
ok, so hair was a bad example. I guess hair is closer to commenting on someone's shoes or dress or whatever.
How about nose? lol. If some random person stops me and tells me they love my nose, I'm going to think they are weird. WEIRDO! I won't be offended. I just would find it odd. I also think the annoying voice in the back of my head would start to question if they were maybe being sarcastic, so I would find a way to twist the compliment to be something negative. But that is on me and my head case issues.
Every time you guys talk about hair I am shamed into remembering when I was in high school asking my black guy friend if I could touch his hair. I found it fascinating. I mean, he was cool with it and I would never ask now, but I feel like a douche.
ok, so hair was a bad example. I guess hair is closer to commenting on someone's shoes or dress or whatever.
How about nose? lol. If some random person stops me and tells me they love my nose, I'm going to think they are weird. WEIRDO! I won't be offended. I just would find it odd. I also think the annoying voice in the back of my head would start to question if they were maybe being sarcastic, so I would find a way to twist the compliment to be something negative. But that is on me and my head case issues.
My waitress in a sushi restaurant once told me she liked my eyeballs. Not eyes, eyeballs. English was definitely her first language, too.
ok, so hair was a bad example. I guess hair is closer to commenting on someone's shoes or dress or whatever.
How about nose? lol. If some random person stops me and tells me they love my nose, I'm going to think they are weird. WEIRDO! I won't be offended. I just would find it odd. I also think the annoying voice in the back of my head would start to question if they were maybe being sarcastic, so I would find a way to twist the compliment to be something negative. But that is on me and my head case issues.
My waitress in a sushi restaurant once told me she liked my eyeballs. Not eyes, eyeballs. English was definitely her first language, too.