When I was around 4/5 I ate a chapstick because it smelled so good. Then when I was a teenager, I tried Dr. Pepper and it tasted the same as the chapstick.
Post by bohemianmango on Jul 30, 2014 13:09:49 GMT -5
I needed a pants person when I was 6.
My siblings and I were staying at my auntie's house and my older cousins were watching us. I was having stomach problems and raced to the bathroom. It was too late. I cleaned myself and my shorts as best as I could. I was so embarrassed and didn't want my cool older cousins to know what happened. I spent what felt like hours figuring out a plan to cover up what happened. I left the bathroom as clean as a 6 year old could get and covered in Oil of Olay lotion to cover up any smell. I went back to everyone and my cousin said, "What's that smell?" I convinced myself they were smelling the Oil of Olay only.
Also, I thought necking meant rubbing necks together. I was so curious about this so I'd rub my neck at night pretending it was a boy's neck. I didn't understand the big deal.
Confession for my friend. She thought oral sex was just phone sex and was horrified when she found out the truth.
Post by justmeandmydog on Jul 30, 2014 13:13:21 GMT -5
When I was 10 or 11, I decided I needed to know what the difference was between a women's room and a men's room. One Sunday at church, someone used the doorstop to keep the men's door open. No one was around, so I walke straight in. Saw the only difference was the urinals and the walls were blue. I started to walk out and straight into my friend's father. I was mortified and he never brought it up.
When I was 12, I decided to teach myself how to use a tampon because I wanted to go swimming. I went through half a box trying and finally figured it out. Well, this box also said it had a "flushable aplicator". Every time I screwed up, I threw it in the toilet and flushed. Less than a week later, my dad had to snake the toilet. He had my mom talk to me about disposing of products properly.
I convinced a neighbor girl who lived behind my house that I had a twin for a day. I would go in and change outfits so that my "twin" could talk to her. I always had some BS excuse as to why we couldn't be outside together at the same time.
Once in middle school I was invited to tag along with some older kids to one of their houses. They were smoking cigarettes and a lady who rented a room in the house called the cops on them for underage smoking. After I left a cop came and I walked my dog around the block numerous times until the officer noticed how odd I was being and asked me if I knew what happened. I told him that the other kids were smoking, but I hadn't and he could give me a breathalyzer to prove it.
My neighbors mom watched her baby cousin sometimes so they had a real non umbrella type stroller at their house. She also had a baby doll that was somewhat realistic.
One summer day when we were around eleven we decided to pretend we were babysitting the baby and take it for a walk. In a brilliant move (eleven year old style) we covered all the doll but one hand with a blanket and I tied a string around the other hand and strung it under the seat padding up to the handle so I could pull it and make the baby "move".
We told everyone we were babysitting and some people stopped to ooh and aah over a hidden baby that was sleeping so we couldn't uncover it to show them. On one of our walks my friend was pushing the stroller and we got to the top of our street which was a hill. Somehow the stroller got away from her and the stroller was flying down the hill until it hit a curb and the "baby" FLEW out and landed in the street.
We couldn't get down there fast enough to clean up the evidence and haul home and pretend it never happened.
Post by lissaholly on Jul 30, 2014 15:00:55 GMT -5
I love these.
When I was about 5-6 I thought if just tried flapping my arms hard enough. I could fly. I remember me and my little sister jumping off the couch convinced it would happen this time.
When I was about 7 we were little shits and we would collect all the fallen petals of the flowers in one neighbors garden ( and some not fallen if we were short petals) and then take them home, spray perfume on them and call it potpourri. We would then go back to the same neighbor and *sell* them to her.
When I was about 10 I discovered the neighborhood drunk. I lived in a deposit return state so I would go search his bushes and collect all the cans of beer and sometimes not empty liquor bottles. The liquor bottles probably pissed him off fierce!
I never understood the joke, "What's black and white and read all over?" because I thought it meant the color red, not the word "read". So I was always like, "I have no idea." Until someone explained it to me. When I was 20.
Holy crap...Seeing it written, I finally get it. lol only took my till age 27.
My sister was always messing with me. She told me that if I eat the white part of an egg, I'll lay one. And that if I slept with a bra on, my boobs wouldn't grow. For some reason this was a concern to young me.
I also thought my stuffed pig could walk, and he would always find his way back to me. And I had an imaginary friend.
When I was a pre-teen I wanted to be a back-up dancer SO BAD. So I would stage all these what I thought were awesome dance moves. Sometimes in the middle of the street, in the middle of the day.
Thinking back on all this makes me seem like a crazy person. lol
We made up a club selling those braided lanyards made with that plasticy neon "thread". We sold enough to make about $75 after supplies, and ended up donating the $$ after the Oklahoma City bomb.
When I was 12, I decided to teach myself how to use a tampon because I wanted to go swimming. I went through half a box trying and finally figured it out. Well, this box also said it had a "flushable aplicator". Every time I screwed up, I threw it in the toilet and flushed. Less than a week later, my dad had to snake the toilet. He had my mom talk to me about disposing of products properly.
LOL! Oh I have a related one.
When I got my period, for some reason I really didn't want to tell my mom. But she only used tampons. Super sized Tampax. I probably wasted 10 of them before finally giving up and assuming I would never be able to use tampons ever. In hindsight, I didn't get the physics of inserting the whole thing BEFORE plunging the applicator. DERP.
Anyway... My mom discovered the evidence of my failed attempts and kind of freaked out. She came to my summer school class, pulled me into the bathroom and started crying. I'd never seen my mom cry. She had a paper bag with her full of pads and tampons, including the slim size. I just slapped a pad into my underwear and asked her to please leave me alone OMG.
When I was around 4/5 I ate a chapstick because it smelled so good. Then when I was a teenager, I tried Dr. Pepper and it tasted the same as the chapstick.
Lame.
You know, I have spent many years being unable put my finger on what the taste of Dr. Pepper reminded me of that repulsed me so much the first and only time I tried it. You just nailed it. Totally totally tastes like chapstick.
We made up a club selling those braided lanyards made with that plasticy neon "thread". We sold enough to make about $75 after supplies, and ended up donating the $$ after the Oklahoma City bomb.
When I was 12, I decided to teach myself how to use a tampon because I wanted to go swimming. I went through half a box trying and finally figured it out. Well, this box also said it had a "flushable aplicator". Every time I screwed up, I threw it in the toilet and flushed. Less than a week later, my dad had to snake the toilet. He had my mom talk to me about disposing of products properly.
LOL! Oh I have a related one.
When I got my period, for some reason I really didn't want to tell my mom. But she only used tampons. Super sized Tampax. I probably wasted 10 of them before finally giving up and assuming I would never be able to use tampons ever. In hindsight, I didn't get the physics of inserting the whole thing BEFORE plunging the applicator. DERP.
Anyway... My mom discovered the evidence of my failed attempts and kind of freaked out. She came to my summer school class, pulled me into the bathroom and started crying. I'd never seen my mom cry. She had a paper bag with her full of pads and tampons, including the slim size. I just slapped a pad into my underwear and asked her to please leave me alone OMG.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that was exactly my problem(insert then plunge)! Nice to hear, I wasn't the only one who didn't understand. That little pamphlet tutorial didn't help; all the TSS talk scared the day lights out of me.
Aw man so embarrassing on so many levels, go home mom. And..thanks but go home!! Haha
When I got my period, for some reason I really didn't want to tell my mom. But she only used tampons. Super sized Tampax. I probably wasted 10 of them before finally giving up and assuming I would never be able to use tampons ever. In hindsight, I didn't get the physics of inserting the whole thing BEFORE plunging the applicator. DERP.
Anyway... My mom discovered the evidence of my failed attempts and kind of freaked out. She came to my summer school class, pulled me into the bathroom and started crying. I'd never seen my mom cry. She had a paper bag with her full of pads and tampons, including the slim size. I just slapped a pad into my underwear and asked her to please leave me alone OMG.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that was exactly my problem(insert then plunge)! Nice to hear, I wasn't the only one who didn't understand. That little pamphlet tutorial didn't help; all the TSS talk scared the day lights out of me.
Aw man so embarrassing on so many levels, go home mom. And..thanks but go home!! Haha
Oh it was even WORSE, because we had fought that morning. I didn't want to go to summer school (it wasn't school-school, like repeating a class, it was a small enhancement program. My mom would DIE before she let us do nothing all summer) because the OTHER summer program that we sometimes participated in was having a field trip that I really really wanted to go on. So when mom showed up at school with a brown paper bag I thought she had changed her mind and brought me lunch for the field trip.
TALK ABOUT DISAPPOINTED! No, you still can't go on the field trip AND HERE'S SOME TAMPONS THAT YOU STILL CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE.
When I was around 4/5 I ate a chapstick because it smelled so good. Then when I was a teenager, I tried Dr. Pepper and it tasted the same as the chapstick.
Lame.
You know, I have spent many years being unable put my finger on what the taste of Dr. Pepper reminded me of that repulsed me so much the first and only time I tried it. You just nailed it. Totally totally tastes like chapstick.
I have never been able to drink it. Barf.
Side note. I never ate another Chapstick after that. Lol
The rose selling story reminded me of a low childhood moment. Two of my friends and myself decided when we were like 8 to pee in those little Tupperware straw cups and try to sell it as lemonade because we saw it done in a movie. Our friend's mom caught us on our way from the backyard to the street and totally knew what we were up to... thank goodness. Dumb kids!
lol! I had a neighbor that tried doing this to sell to another kid on the block! I was like "uhh.. that doesn't seem right but if it was in a movie, I guess it's okay!"
Post by casarosada on Jul 30, 2014 17:45:02 GMT -5
I definitely thought 69 meant that the two people would switch genitals... No idea where I got that.
Like a few others that have posted - I used to eat chap stick.
Once at Blockbuster I was playing a video game (they had a few stations where you could play a game they were trying to push) and had to pee really bad but also didn't want to lose my turn playing. Um, yeah, could have used a pants person that day. Luckily I was wearing huge black sweat pants and no one could tell.
There should be a whole thread about what you did on long car trips.
I pretended I was riding a horse alongside the car. Jumping over obstacles and galloping up hills. I even had teams that would bring up a new horse, and I would switch between them while still galloping.
Because horses get tired, duh.
Oh man, I totally did that too! I pretended I'd ride a horse and jump over cars we passed, power lines, etc. I didn't have back up horses though. :-)
I used to make my little brother do this on top of the picnic table. I would sing and spray him with the hose.
I saw a couple of these earlier, & was glancing to see if I missed anything good. I seriously took a screenshot on my phone to show my husband later. L.O.L.
I thought my mom was breaking the law by drinking and driving all the time. She was drinking Tab.
I thought Oprah was just really tan. I wondered how she had time to get so tan when she was busy making her show. I grew up in a rural, 99.9% white community.
I wrote terrible fan fiction in middle school/early high school. The most embarrassing part? It was Star Trek fan fiction. Luckily, it stayed confined to notebooks in my dresser and stayed off the internet.
I thought this about my mom too...she was drinking diet coke though.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that was exactly my problem(insert then plunge)! Nice to hear, I wasn't the only one who didn't understand. That little pamphlet tutorial didn't help; all the TSS talk scared the day lights out of me.
Aw man so embarrassing on so many levels, go home mom. And..thanks but go home!! Haha
Oh it was even WORSE, because we had fought that morning. I didn't want to go to summer school (it wasn't school-school, like repeating a class, it was a small enhancement program. My mom would DIE before she let us do nothing all summer) because the OTHER summer program that we sometimes participated in was having a field trip that I really really wanted to go on. So when mom showed up at school with a brown paper bag I thought she had changed her mind and brought me lunch for the field trip.
TALK ABOUT DISAPPOINTED! No, you still can't go on the field trip AND HERE'S SOME TAMPONS THAT YOU STILL CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE.
OH MY GOD! What..the..hell! That's not cool, not at all. In that case, she could've at least thrown in a candy bar or 5. So hi, still can't go, but now the unusable tampons come with chocolate!
Post by happyholiday on Jul 30, 2014 19:55:08 GMT -5
I thought you could get pregnant by eating eggs. Still don't like them very much. In junior high, my BFF and I had a treasured VHS tape full of Duran Duran and A-ha videos (yes, A-ha had more than one)! One night at my house the VCR stopped working WITH THE TAPE INSIDE OMG TRAGEDY and we actually dismantled the VCR like we knew how to fix that shit. Saved the tape, though!
When I was in early elementary school, my family was talking about Bill Cosby, and someone made a joke that my uncle went to college with him. (I think they were actually making fun of my uncle for always claiming to know everyone).
Except I didn't realize it was a joke. I told people for YEARS that my uncle went to school with Bill Cosby. I was in high school before my brother finally told me that my uncle didn't even GO to college.
I use to watch Days of Our Lives and wished Stefano was my dad because there was a boy I liked and was sure if Stefano was my dad he could get the boy to go out with me.
In middle school my sister (in high school) told me she was having sex with her boyfriend but made my promise to keep it secret but of course I told my best friend...one day I was on the phone with my bff and my sister was annoying me so I blurted out "K and B are having sex!" My sister was so upset she threw her phone and broke her blacklight.
I also ratted on my sister when she came home with hickeys. She went straight to bed so I went and told my mom to "check the neck" so my mom went in my sister's dark bedroom and with her night vision eyesight was able to "see" the hickeys and yell at my sister.