i currently have a 17yo college student who was MISERABLE waiting until senior year to get her driver's license and may or may not be in the market for a fake id because she can't go anywhere with her friends on weekends. other than that, i got nothing.
I think this is valid. I also consulted with my friends who were young for our grade (I was obsessed with the kindergarten thing pretty much as soon as I found out her EDD, LOL) and they were unanimous that they wish they had waited. They are all smart, and nearly all of them were at the top of our respective classes academically, but things like driving, and especially being 20 throughout senior year of college and having to choose between not coming out, or using a fake ID, while the rest of us went to bars (the kind that you want to go to when you are finally legal) sucked. It's a dumb reason, and certainly not a game changer, but everyone mentioned it.
David is a November baby and I'm so glad. He's always been the oldest or second oldest in his class. I would never have started him early. Speech delay aside, he just did not have the social skills and that is a huge deal.
I flat out skipped kindergarten, so I was one of those kids who was a full year younger than everyone else. Honestly being younger had absolutely ZERO effect on anything in elementary school or middle school. It wasn't until high school that actual age milestones, like driver's licenses, made it at all noticeable. By the time I turned 16 in my senior year of HS, my parent's couldn't WAIT for me to just freaking be able to drive already.
Going away to college at age 17 had absolutely no effect on me either. I was a college athlete, and I think that my parents had to co-sign exactly one paper about ... something that I can't remember. It was some nonsense NCAA paper. Otherwise, as a college student I was able to handle all of my own medical and other documents while I was at school. This should not be a concern for you.
On the other hand, my brother is much smarter than I am and honestly should have skipped too, but for some reason (none of my business) didn't. By the time he got to high school he was SO BORED WITH EVERYTHING that he got in trouble often, and struggled in some of his classes.
This got long, and I'm sorry. My point is that you know your child best. Input from teachers and others who are around him often is important, but it's ultimately your decision. Good luck!
TL;DR -- I was young for my class and was fine. My brother probably should have skipped too. But we aren't your kid, so ultimately you know what's best for him. Good luck!
On the other hand, my brother is much smarter than I am and honestly should have skipped too, but for some reason (none of my business) didn't. By the time he got to high school he was SO BORED WITH EVERYTHING that he got in trouble often, and struggled in some of his classes.
This is one of our concerns. If you keep this kid engaged, he's straight as an arrow. If not, he can be...a handful.
Anna missed the cutoff by 2 days and we preferred to wait. The extra year made a world of difference on her social development and really that is what kindergarten is all about.
On the other hand, my brother is much smarter than I am and honestly should have skipped too, but for some reason (none of my business) didn't. By the time he got to high school he was SO BORED WITH EVERYTHING that he got in trouble often, and struggled in some of his classes.
This is one of our concerns. If you keep this kid engaged, he's straight as an arrow. If not, he can be...a handful.
By the time my brother got to college and was challenged more consistently, he was fine - Dean's list, etc. But in high school he really put my parents through some stuff. I can't really say that it would have been entirely preventable if he had skipped/started early, but looking back I think it would have helped. I guess we'll never know.
Personality-wise, he has always been much quieter than me so I don't think the age difference/similarity had any effect on our social development. (Again, this is FOR US. Individual results may vary :-))
Disclaimer: I am kind of talking out of my ass, but regarding social maturity, can't some kids rise to the occasion?
Maybe for some kids, but not for David. He's extremely social and has always made friends easily but I'm talking more about maturity when I say social skills. He's still a little immature for his age, not to where he's not ready to start kindergarten but if he started at FOUR?? Helll no, there would be no rising to the occasion *for him*. It would have been a disaster.
Disclaimer: I am kind of talking out of my ass, but regarding social maturity, can't some kids rise to the occasion?
j's birthday is in mid-september, so we could have gone either way. i asked a K teacher friend about it and she said that everybody kind of evens out by december. i'm not sure if i believe that, but it's what she said. i feel like jonah is incredibly socially awkward, but it's like nobody has told him. LOL!
Lol, I think I was also socially awkward. I didn't notice until high school though, so no harm done, haha.
Anna missed the cutoff by 2 days and we preferred to wait. The extra year made a world of difference on her social development and really that is what kindergarten is all about.
Kind of, but I disagree with this as a whole ... I could already read and write. I went to preschool and the teachers there did the best they could with me but I didn't even nap with the other kids. During nap time I did more advanced reading and different puzzles and got some 1 on 1 time with the teachers so I wasn't super bored. What the heck was I going to do in kindergarten if I was already doing all of those things in pre-school?
Disclaimer: I am kind of talking out of my ass, but regarding social maturity, can't some kids rise to the occasion?
Probably. I skipped a grade and honestly I think I was immature compared to the group all the way to grade 9. Add the fact that I was shy and socially awkward and it was a disaster. I'd much rather have my kid be the oldest.
Sophia is end of August so will be one of the youngest. I am not holding her back, but I am fearing it a bit.
Anna missed the cutoff by 2 days and we preferred to wait. The extra year made a world of difference on her social development and really that is what kindergarten is all about.
Kind of, but I disagree with this as a whole ... I could already read and write. I went to preschool and the teachers there did the best they could with me but I didn't even nap with the other kids. During nap time I did more advanced reading and different puzzles and got some 1 on 1 time with the teachers so I wasn't super bored. What the heck was I going to do in kindergarten if I was already doing all of those things in pre-school?
See my other post. I skipped a grade, I know that. But the social aspect of school is very important IMO. I had a hard time making friends.
Disclaimer: I am kind of talking out of my ass, but regarding social maturity, can't some kids rise to the occasion?
Probably. I skipped a grade and honestly I think I was immature compared to the group all the way to grade 9. Add the fact that I was shy and socially awkward and it was a disaster. I'd much rather have my kid be the oldest.
Sophia is end of August so will be one of the youngest. I am not holding her back, but I am fearing it a bit.
My youngest is end of July. So while my oldest was advanced in nearly everything, bc of her birthday (mid-Sept.) she is one of the oldest in her class. Little sister has def. been on the slower side, but still within "normal", and she'll be one of the youngest. I am a little scared too.
Kind of, but I disagree with this as a whole ... I could already read and write. I went to preschool and the teachers there did the best they could with me but I didn't even nap with the other kids. During nap time I did more advanced reading and different puzzles and got some 1 on 1 time with the teachers so I wasn't super bored. What the heck was I going to do in kindergarten if I was already doing all of those things in pre-school?
See my other post. I skipped a grade, I know that. But the social aspect of school is very important IMO. I had a hard time making friends.
Important? Yes, but not what it's "all about"
Your situation is why I keep repeating that every kid will be different. I had absolutely no problems socially, but I was annoyingly outgoing and played sports my whole life, which comes with a set of automatic friends/teammates. If your child is more socially immature/awkward, then sure it may benefit him or her to stay with kids their own age, but I think there should also be steps in place to make sure they don't get super bored and uninterested academically.
I don't think redshirting is quite the epidemic people make it out to be. When I was due to start kindergarten, cut off was five by 12/31. Where I went to kindergarten cutoff is now five by 9/1. That's four months' worth of kids who are starting kindergarten a whole year later. So even if everyone follows the rules perfectly, kindergarten classes will skew older than they used to. You can chicken or egg why cut off dates have been moved, but the fact is that a four year old in kindergarten is unlikely to be one of a medium sized handful like he or she would have been in 1983. Imo, that is not an insignificant consideration given that very bright high achieving kids have extra social pressures as it is.
Personally, I would try academic enrichment at home and start a close to the cut off kid the year when he or she qualifies by the book. So far as I can tell, for most kids who start early the big advantage is that they can start full time jobs and pay taxes sooner .
I have a September 4 baby with a September 1 cutoff. For many of the reasons mentioned, I don't think I would put him in early. I don't think we would even have that option.
I guess I also don't understand the rush. Is his DCP a pre-k? Is that an option? I know his DCP feels she has gone as far as she can but why does she have to go anywhere? What is wrong with just...playing, modeling the social skills he needs, doing arts and crafts, playing board games? He clearly has a great foundation and I know you don't want him to be bored in K but at least in my area he is already going to be way ahead of the curve even in k.
Well after thinking about it, I think my mom started me early. My birthday is 8/8 and I was always the youngest in class, always. But kindergarten back then was half day and we even had nap time, lol. Things are a tad different now.
I don't see the rush. I'd let him start when he is normally supposed to start. Let him run and play and get dirty. He has the rest of his life to sit and learn in a classroom.
Our district stop letting kids start early. You are simply 5 by Sept 5 and start K or you are not and you wait until you do meet the criteria.
Also, I was one with a birthday 3 weeks after the cutoff, so I turned 6 shortly after K started. I really enjoyed being one of the oldest kids in the class and doing things before my friends could. (like driving).
you know that kids in school still run and play and get dirty, right?
Ok in NYC the cutoff is December 31st with a possible change to December 1st, so my kid will be 4 in kindergarten unless we red shirt him.
My niece is an 8/28 birthday in Manhattan. So she was barely 5 when she started. She has excelled in every way! I do think the way NYC does the public schools makes it a bit easier though, her mom is able to send her to schools that meet her needs and strengths and talents. It's less of a one size fits all. She is also very precocious and has always been a "little adult", LOL.
My older two are late Summer birthdays with a 9/1 cut off. DD1 made the cut off by a few days. I can see both sides, and don't think you are going to scar him either way. We sent my kids on time, and they are thriving in 1st and 3rd, socially and academically. I don't think holding them back would have accomplished a thing. I probably would not have had them tested to go early if they had Sept birthdays, b/c I am sort of lazy and like to follow the normal rules, lol. Also, my boy is more mature than my DD at that age. It is so individual.
you know that kids in school still run and play and get dirty, right?
Yep. I have a school aged kid.
In my son's day he gets 25!minutes of recess and about the same at lunch. He gets pe and art class once a week every 6 days. There is minimal class play. There is definitely not a lot of running, playing and getting dirty.
My birthday is 8/26 so I started when I was four and there were kids in my class over a year older than me. It was never a problem for me academically or socially, but I've always been mature for my age. It wasn't my favorite not getting my driver's license until I was a junior, but I mostly hitched rides with my friends and it was fine.
The problem we had was having a 17 year old college student.
I haven't read the rest of it and am about to, but I say that this was my issue. I was 17 when I moved away to start college, and at that point I couldn't even buy my own art supplies (spray paint, etc) for classes. I couldn't go out with my friends. It definitely inhibits your social life when starting college.
In high school, I was always the youngest and thus the least physically mature. Last to start your period (not that that would matter for him, but he will hit puberty after the rest of the boys). You're the last to get your driver's license and other age dependent things. It's all little things, and I still wouldn't go back and change it because I would have been miserable and unchallenged academically otherwise, but it's not always easy being so much younger than everyone else when you're a teenager.
Oh, also, I was the kid just after the cut off (12/31 cut off, 1/2 birthday). I think it helped me immensely because I wasn't all that mature, EVEN THOUGH, of course, since this is ML I was an academic superstar. I just did extra stuff and was annoying to my classmates (LOL). And although I am confident I could've hacked it academically if I was in school a year earlier because I am BRILLIANT (ha ha), the fact is that I'm not sure my brilliance would've had the same ability to shine if I'd been struggling even more than I did (than all kids do) with social stuff. Especially at the elementary level.
Anyway, other than 6th grade when I was taller than EVERYONE, it was great. My husband, by contrast, started early (he was the 17 year old in college, etc.). He ALSO hated 6th and 7th grade because he was shorter than EVERYONE (and had moved). So, from my perspective, looks like 6th and 7th suck balls for like 90% of kids. Since you can't prevent middle school from being the pits, I think you need not only to look at this from a whole child perspective (which of course you are), but from a child's whole life perspective--if you make this decision NOW, what will that do for him in terms of school at 9, 13, 17, 21. Globally, on the whole, will he be benefited from being less bored at 4? How will that translate to when he's older. I'm not sure anyone but you and some educators can answer that. Can you speak to some teachers in your district?
Disclaimer: I am kind of talking out of my ass, but regarding social maturity, can't some kids rise to the occasion?
My son has a Sept. birthday. Our state has a Nov. cutoff so it was up to us whether to send him "on time" or not. We briefly considered holding him back but decided not to and he ended up doing really well. He was five though, not four. I would be hesitant to put a 4 yo in with a group of 6 yo boys who will be turning 7.
I feel for the OP though. Red shirting has gotten out of hand. You shouldn't be *just* starting school at 6-7 barring some type of special need. We're really glad we did start DS last year. He needs the mental stimulation and all day energy outlet that school provides. I don't even want to imagine what his behavior would look like without it.
In our district it is not that easy to start early. It not that he can read and do math. Most kids in our K class could already. I believe our district requires an IQ test and other stuff, all on your own dime. It may get expensive. I would look into what is required to actually test to see if it is worth it. I have a Sept bday and started K aft 4 and college at 17. not a big deal for me. Cut offs back then were usually Dec so there were plenty of younger kids than me.