Ok, not the point, but pet peeve.... After like 90 posts of fuck that nurse, I need to point out that she is probably not a nurse. I don't know any OB practices that employ nurses in their offices. So, she was a bitch, but not a nurse
This made me go look at my OB's webpage. What do you know, only one nurse. The others I usually see (and would have called a nurse)are medical assistants.
@booby I get you. I get the weight discussion by the doctor even the nurse. What upset me was that she was implying that i was not worthy or thin enough to br allowed to have a baby.
Yep. I got this vibe from my OB when trying for #2. He made it sound like the reproductive specialists wouldn't take me on until I could show them how serious I was about having a baby by losing weight. I'm not even kidding. I was humiliated and haven't been back. I'm really sorry your nurse was such a horrible person.
@booby I get you. I get the weight discussion by the doctor even the nurse. What upset me was that she was implying that i was not worthy or thin enough to br allowed to have a baby.
Nobody should ever imply that to you. I knew going into #2 I was not at my healthiest of weights. If the doctor or staff would have ever implied I wasn't worthy of having #2 because of my weight, I would have lost my shit.
I get the concern of having extra weight, but it needs to be approached in the correct manner and not from a place that it's their decision to control.
Post by spellingbea on Aug 28, 2014 11:55:03 GMT -5
I am raging for you right now. I would ask to speak with the office administrator. I used to work in a doctor's office, and many times the doc would either get too busy and forget to talk to the nurse (PA, whatever she is) or not feel like dealing with it directly.
The nurse had no right to predict your doctor's plan of care or have that discussion with you. I was fat and pregnant, and my doctor never said a word about my weight. Fuck that dumb bitch.
Post by lilafowler on Aug 28, 2014 11:56:06 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. I was morbidly obese when I was pregnant and while my doc and midwife talked about my weight as it pertained to my pregnancy and health nobody in the office EVER treated me like I was a freak or less of a person.
Until I was actually in the OR for my c-section and a bunch of visiting docs wanted to observe the c-section of a morbidly obese person . Nobody told me that but I overheard someone saying "C-section for a woman with a BMI of 989!".
Ok, not the point, but pet peeve.... After like 90 posts of fuck that nurse, I need to point out that she is probably not a nurse. I don't know any OB practices that employ nurses in their offices. So, she was a bitch, but not a nurse
It is obese (medical definition). It is a BMI of 36.6. It could be considered morbid obesity if you have underlying health conditions as well. (http://www.urmc.rochester.edu/highland/departments-centers/bariatrics/right-for-you/morbid-obesity.aspx)
However, I used to have a BMI of 42. If anyone implied that I couldn't make a decision about my reproductive health because of my weight, I would be burning something down.
Obese =/= MORBIDLY obese. And don't fucking get me started on BMI.
These are medical definitions. I was morbidly obese with a BMI of 42. Yes, BMI has its limitations but it applies to the average, non-athlete quite well. It is NOT a judgement on one's worth, beauty of even, necessarily, health, at an INDIVIDUAL level. These measurements are best applied across populations.
If you read the link, you would see that a BMI of 35+ with underlying health conditions, is by definition, considered morbidly obese.
Post by coribelle26 on Aug 28, 2014 13:50:51 GMT -5
Yeah here is the problem with BMI not being a good measure of overall health on an individual level. It is being applied by insurance companies to determine rates and eligibility for individuals. So...yeah.
@booby I get you. I get the weight discussion by the doctor even the nurse. What upset me was that she was implying that i was not worthy or thin enough to br allowed to have a baby.
Yep. I got this vibe from my OB when trying for #2. He made it sound like the reproductive specialists wouldn't take me on until I could show them how serious I was about having a baby by losing weight. I'm not even kidding. I was humiliated and haven't been back. I'm really sorry your nurse was such a horrible person.
I had this conversation with my OB/Gyn once, too. She gave me, "If you want a baby badly enough, then losing 10% of your body weight should be no big deal!" as well as "The fertility specialists in town won't see you unless your BMI is below [some arbitrary number]". She wasn't my OB/Gyn anymore after that, but I believed her for a long time. Far too long.
I'm really sorry that happened to you. That was out of line. What a bitch. I'm glad your doctor handled it well, and really hope there is a later consequence for the nurse.
I am 5'10 and weigh 255lbs. Is that morbidly obese?
Last time i was here we talked about lap band sugery but my GP shot me down and told me to eat lean meat and exercise
No. It's 20 or so pounds short.
I am right on the line of morbidly obese and I asked my GP and she was like "well it's always better if you can lose some weight, but don't worry about it".
I really think doctors are all over the place about weight.
Post by mariafromnj on Aug 28, 2014 18:51:10 GMT -5
The way the nurse spoke to you was out of line. My SIL is 5'3 and about 245 lb before she got pregnant. When she went to her OB when she was trying to get pregnant he spoke to her about her health and the health of the baby. He gave her some info on trying to cut back on calories and adding exercise to help her get pregnant and have a healthier pregnancy. Once she was pregnant he suggested she see a nutritionist so she didn't gain too much. She knew he was talking to her as a doctor and not insulting her. He was trying to help.
Post by Jenniatonu on Aug 28, 2014 21:01:37 GMT -5
Get a new ob.
I did not listen when others told me the same thing. I regret that decision very much. My OB was very Anti-fat, and made remarks like your nurse. I was also forced to have NST's twice a week for the sole reason I was obese. Look, I'm fat. I have PCOS. I run miles upon miles and eat healthy. I was told that I would have a problem "maintaining weight" during my pregnancy. When I gained 10lbs the entire time, she told me it wasn't good enough, I should have lost weight. In fact, when I went to her the first time, for having skipped two periods and not being pregnant she gave me the "lose weight" talk. I told her I can't lose weight, here's my food record, my exercise record, and my weight tracker. THEN she decided to listen to me and send me for infertility tests. Fucker.
Seriously, get a new doctor. Don't get sucked into thinking you deserve this, you don't. There ARE more concerns with being overweight. However being treated like that, is NOT OK.