Probably not. I have never really felt the urge to have kids but always said "someday" because I assumed I would eventually feel ready. I am 32 and still feel open to the possibility that I will get the urge at some point, but right now have no desire to be a parent. If anything, the more kids my friends and family have, the less their lifestyle appeals to me. And its not the biggest factor, but the fact that I am not married and that my partner is a few years off from having a regular stable job (he's a PhD student, not a loser lol) only makes me feel less likely to have kids. I think if I really wanted them I would have picked a different partner, but I am really happy with the current plan.
I do worry about being left behind, though. I don't have a much in common with my peers as most of them do with each other. But that's not a reason to have kids, so I will just have to get used to that part!
Post by redredwine on Sept 8, 2014 11:50:22 GMT -5
Yes. Though we're doing it the MM way and starting to "save" what we'd have to shell out for daycare costs, so we can start feeling the pain now in our budget, so maybe in a year or so.
While I love kids, my desire for multiple kids has changed though-I'd be happy with just one. It's tough-I always saw myself with kids, but I've also grown to love my life. It took a turn I didn't expect which is why I don't have kids now (thought I'd have them at 30, I'm almost 33) and I think it was all for the best. I wouldn't be where I am now.
Post by sicilygirl on Sept 8, 2014 12:00:55 GMT -5
I think so? I've always imagined we would have kids, but I haven't been anywhere close to actually wanting them yet/being ready until very recently. I think mostly because I have so many new nieces and nephews, and I'd like for my kids to have cousins close to their age.
We've been married almost 7 years, so the questions about when we're going to have a baby are relentless at this point (although we're only 29... I turn 30 on Friday). The questions have almost made me defiant, lol. Like I'll show you by waiting even longer, haha. It's not even a conscious thing, but it's definitely been happening. Though I think the main reason is that we're both finally at a place in our careers where I can see having a child not being a huge burden. So that eases my mind about a lot of things and makes me more excited about it. We have a lot more flexibility (time and money) than we did even a year ago.
I've thought about adoption but that won't be for at least 10-15 years. And would likely be older kids or more of a halfway house for kids who aged out. Idk.
But, I definitely do NOT want to be pregnant or raise a child from infancy to adulthood.
Post by LoveTrains on Sept 8, 2014 12:10:59 GMT -5
See I was always firmly into the childfree by choice camp. But lately I've been thinking maybe I do want to at least revisit the conversation with H. But he has always been firmly into the childfree by choice camp, too, so I figure what is the point of even discussing? I don't know.
I saw a bunch of my friends with babies recently and they are kind of cute.
We are on the fence still. We've been married for 7 years and still feel like there is so much we want to do "just the two of us" before/if we have kids. I'm not sure we will ever get to the point where we don't feel that way, and I guess that is how we'll know? We'll see.
See I was always firmly into the childfree by choice camp. But lately I've been thinking maybe I do want to at least revisit the conversation with H. But he has always been firmly into the childfree by choice camp, too, so I figure what is the point of even discussing? I don't know.
I saw a bunch of my friends with babies recently and they are kind of cute.
Maybe the babies have changed his mind, too? And I say you should still totally discuss it, you never know what could have changed if both of you are putting off bringing it up.
Post by orangeblossom on Sept 8, 2014 12:23:38 GMT -5
Likely not at this point. We did in the beginning, then life got busy, health issues, living separate places, etc. I think DH would still like to, but the desire off me has drastically changed.
I feel kind of bad sometimes, but then, I think it's for the best. We're not preventing, but it is highly unlikely for us to get pregnant on our own. We would embrace a pregnancy and be happy, we're not going out of our way to make it happen. Earlier this year, we talked about trying for real, but I've sense changed my mind.
Post by bostonmichelle on Sept 8, 2014 12:23:44 GMT -5
Yes, probably start TTC late next year. I want to be in a better place with our jobs/finances, go on another trip or two, and run more races. If it wasn't for the races, I'd probably just stop preventing now but I can't run a marathon while pregnant.
See I was always firmly into the childfree by choice camp. But lately I've been thinking maybe I do want to at least revisit the conversation with H. But he has always been firmly into the childfree by choice camp, too, so I figure what is the point of even discussing? I don't know.
I saw a bunch of my friends with babies recently and they are kind of cute.
This is me. Firmly childfree by choice, then my 30th birthday hit and I started ovulating on mirena (vs not ovulating on the pill), and suddenly the biological clock started majorly ticking.
But it only lasts a day and then I go back to firmly childfree by choice. DH is on board for conversations. I think we're at the point that if an "oops" happens we would make it work, but happy with where we are and our future together.
FWIW I work with kids for my job so I get my fill every day and then I get to go HOME and SLEEP. And when my friends have babies I am genuinely happy for them and not an ounce of "I wish it were me" pangs.
Likely not at this point. We did in the beginning, then life got busy, health issues, living separate places, etc. I think DH would still like to, but the desire off me has drastically changed.
I feel kind of bad sometimes, but then, I think it's for the best. We're not preventing, but it is highly unlikely for us to get pregnant on our own. We would embrace a pregnancy and be happy, we're not going out of our way to make it happen. Earlier this year, we talked about trying for real, but I've sense changed my mind.
I would like to ditto this word for word.
I have been off bc for 3 years. One (failed) year of earnestly trying, and then an avalanche of 2013 derailed our plans. We're still in the not preventing but not actively trying camp.
However, after seeing 3 people announce on FB yesterday (3 months before my 35 birthday), I am a hot mess of emotion today.
Yes. Obviously waiting until after the wedding and a little while, but maybe trying late 2016? I'd kind of like a house before then, but we'll see what happens.
Up and down, but overall much better than she was a few weeks ago. It's hard that progress is so slow---even though we both know that that's to be expected.
I just turned 37, and we both REALLY want kids. Between my age, her current medical issue, and the complications and expense of baby-making . . . it's weighing heavily on my mind these days.