Thanks guys/ I had to step away for a few days. Seriously, I'm melting down. The day after this post, my fucking MIL called me AT WORK to tell me that they'd been over to my house and she chastised me on how messy it was. No shit. I've been telling your god damn, jobless, alcoholic son to get off his ass and pick up his mess for two months. I'm so. so. so. at the end of my rope, as someone else pointed out. My week was hell, both at work and at home. Sorry if I flew off the handle a bit. I can't handle much right now, obviously.
Well, I was at work, so I did the best I could to hold it together. I was raging in my head, but my non-confrontational, sit-there-and-take-it self just said "uh huh" on the phone.
I like my ILs, I really do. But every once in a while, something like this will pop up and make me rage. I was seething most of the weekend about it. I told him I was NOT happy about the call or his behavior. He's going back to rehab, so I'll be doing the single parent deal again for a while. I'm not going to let him come straight home this time either, I'm sending him to a sober house. I should have trusted my gut the first time he came home, I knew it wasn't going to work (not sure why, just that gut instinct), but I still brought him home.
Otherwise, I've got a few apartments I'm looking at and if he bails on rehab, I'm ready to speed-dial them.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
On the plus side, after this weekend, our house hasn't been cleaner than it is today. He did the majority of the work, so, bonus?
That's something. How did he get motivated?
To his credit, he had been picking up and cleaning the living room area (and the suspected ADD in him means he was on his hands and knees scrubbing baseboards, walls, etc), and things he pulled out of there were winding up in the dining room to be put back/dealt with/thrown/etc later. So when his parents showed up unannounced, they saw the nightmare that was our dining room/kitchen area before all that had been put back. I guess having his parents bitch at him (which they did) and find out that his mom called ME about it was enough to get him motivated. He and I both spent a lot of time this weekend dealing with the mess. We just have too much stuff for a very, very small house. It did feel good to purge.
Sounds like he'll be heading back to rehab in a week or so, once the insurance approval is received.
I am glad your H cleaned up. It sounds like your ILS are assholes. Can you spend the 150.00 on a big case of STFU for your MIL? Sounds like she needs urgently.
He's got to fix himself now without poking from you and IL's for him to get the most simple of tasks completed. You need a break. I hope you and your daughter find some peace in the middle of all of this once he is out of the house.
Wow, malibu, that's a lot of crap you've had thrown at you. I'm sorry that you didn't even get to spend the gift card on yourself. I'm sorry about all of it. I really hope things start looking up for you. It sounds like you, and you alone, have been holding up your family for quite some time now. I truly hope you can get some help with everything. It's a lot to handle on your own. (hugs)