Does your H like your cooking?

[redpenmama]

I am a decent cook -- I can follow a recipe, offer a lot of variety (e.g., rarely repeat a meal in a month), and try out new recipes to mix things up. I am not Julia Child, but most things I make turn out pretty good, IMO. DD likes it all too. 

My H clearly dislikes most of what I am cooking. He isn't a picky eater, has no dietary restrictions, and I know what things he particularly likes and build meals around those foods. But, I see him pushing the food around on his plate before it goes down the disposal. Once out of every 15 meals, he tells me he likes it, I make it again a few weeks later, and I see him not eating it. I ask for suggestions every week, and he never offers anything. 

We are a few more failed meals away from me throwing in the towel, cooking for me and the kids, and stocking the fridge full of Totino's pizzas for him. 

Not really looking for advice because my H is impossible and I have tried everything, but I am wondering if anyone else deals with this. It's maddening especially because he's not picky, eats anything anybody else cooks, and is an amateur eater. 

[asoctoberfalls]

Well...my DH likes my cooking, but I hate it. I like food that other people make, but I can't stand when I make it. I'm not sure why. Other people like the food I make. My dad is the same way...just doesn't like to eat his own cooking. It's frustrating.

[MadamePresident]

I'm sorry.I'd be frustrated also. Making meals is a lot of work. It's he just not eating anything our not eating what you cook?

[aspentosh]

H will eat pretty much whatever I put in front of him... but that's because if I don't cook, that means HE has to and he hates cooking.

I try and plan meals that I know he likes (pastas, casseroles, etc) but sometimes I'll strike out. And I repeat meals regularly. Still no complaints.

So I'd say you're doing the best you can. If he doesn't like the food, he needs to figure something out for himself. But I refuse to bend over backwards for people that can't seem to help themselves.

[toesie]

Generally, yes. Or he'd better do or he'll have to make dinner for us.
Once in awhile I try a new recipe and it doesn't turn out the way I expect I don't eat it but dh is still ok with it. He's pretty easy.

[Deleted]

That is really annoying. Have you tried talking to him about it? I would let him know that it hurts your feelings, and that he is welcome to cook for himself if he does not want to eat what you make.

I know you did not ask for suggestions, but I don't have enough hours in my day to spend time cooking for someone who won't even eat the food he says he likes.

[gibbinator]

He gets bored with my cooking because I tend to make the same half a dozen meals every week. I'll sometimes make something new and he's always excited when a new recipe works out. But I've been told several times to please not make vegetable stir fry AGAIN.
I also tend to not make enough food to feed him. It's not uncommon for him to make himself a sandwich after supper. I cook for 2 small women, rather than me and a very physically active man.
In general he likes the food I make though.

[toesie]

Maybe have him make dinner couple of nights a week?

[bunch]

Yes, he loves it and he knows to be very vocal about it. I pretty much only cook for his benefit. The girls are just as happy to eat raw veggies. If he wasn't appreciative I'd stop cooking tomorrow.

[mmmomof2]

Generally he likes it, but there are a few meals he adds copious amounts of sriacha (sp?) to. He also hates squash in all forms, and I'm respectful of that.

I would ask him what he doesn't like about it (too bland, too spicy, etc)

[humpforfree]

I am a good cook and cook a lot of variety, etc. H barely likes anything I make. He grew up with very... bland food. Super boring and nothing "different" (like, not even tacos).

He shovels it down though because he isn't volunteering to cook. It does hurt my feelings that he never says anything is good or that he likes it. Sometimes I make something especially geared toward him and ask if he likes it. The best I've ever heard it "it's fine." Well gee thanks.

So, I don't really have any advice. If H were to cook we'd have spaghetti, eggs, or hot dogs every night. And I love cooking so I'm not willing to give it up. I guess I've just come to terms with never hearing that he likes it or whatever...

[undecidedowl]

DH and I like similar things, so yes he likes what I cook. I also involved him in my meal planning to make sure I am including items he is in the mood for.

What does your DH say about why he doesn't seem to enjoy the meals?

[Marmee]

I'm not a good cook in any sense if the word. DH mostly eats what I make without much complaint. I like & grew up on casseroles but everyone hates them in my house except me. I make a lot plain or pre-made/assisted meals. The only thing he's ever raved about that I make (outside of sweets which is what I enjoy making) is my grilled cheese sandwiches...seriously. His mom is a worse cook than me so I don't feel too bad. My mom prides herself as a good cook (she's decent but not really a scratch chef) but she never "taught" me & frankly I was always too busy until I became a SAHM & by then I was 29 & the ship kind of sailed by then.

[timorousbeastie]

Let's just say there's a reason he makes his dinner while I make my own 99% of the time. There are some things that I make for him that he'll eat, but I have a feeling it's more that he's tolerating it as opposed to genuinely liking it.

[lindyanne]

When I try, most of the time. When I start throwing shit together when he texts me that he's on his way home, not nearly as much. I'm a good cook and better baker but he likes interesting stuff. And I do too but I'm lazy.

[Willis Jackson]

What does he say when you ask him what his deal is?

My DH loves my cooking, but every once in awhile he'll be like, "FYI, I'm not crazy about eggplant (or whatever)." and I'll be like, "FYI, you're not the only person in this family."

[felicity]

He likes my cooking in general and either compliments it or gives constructive ideas. If either of us tries a new recipe and doesn't like it, we're honest. I'd be pretty upset if he never said anything about the food I make. It's a lot of work! Have you told him what you said here? What does he say?

[CloudBee]

Not at all.

I work PT, so I get home before he does now. He used to be good about reheating, and often got home before I did. Now he rarely even reheats.

He cooks weekend breakfast once or twice a month. Mine is better! heh

[starlily]

Sept 19, 2014 19:48:36 GMT -5 @carmensandiego said:

That is really annoying. Have you tried talking to him about it? I would let him know that it hurts your feelings, and that he is welcome to cook for himself if he does not want to eat what you make.

I know you did not ask for suggestions, but I don't have enough hours in my day to spend time cooking for someone who won't even eat the food he says he likes.

Ditto. I'd be really frustrated in your position.

I'm a good cook and H likes almost everything I make, but if I try a new recipe that he's not crazy about, or needs tweaking, he gives me useful input.

[Deleted]

For the most part. Him and I have very different food styles. He likes plain and the same and I like flavor and new. It's just a difference how we grew up. Now that it's been 10 years, he's over it and eats pretty much everything I throw at him.

He has a few strong dislikes but it's not too bad. I try to accommodate them within reason.

He's also perfectly happy with a PBJ so I can't complain there.

[Deleted]

No. He hates my cooking.

It works out well for me though because now I never cook and he cooks every night.

[Deleted]

He likes the fact that there's food to eat so yes?

TBH I'm not the best cook but DH is always very appreciative when I cook.  He cooks more frequently than I do. We also do a bunch of take out and convenience foods.

I would talk to your husband and tell him how he is hurting your feelings.

[hermione]

My husband is the exact opposite of yours. I once made something so horrific that I took one bite, jumped up, started scraping my plate into the garbage and yelling, "OMG, stop eating that! We'll order pizza!" His response, was, "It's just a new flavor experience." No husband, it's garbage and I know it.

In your case, I'd likely point out that I noticed he never ate much and ask if he had any specific ideas or solutions.

[AlpineSlide]

Yes, he likes my cooking. He is also not picky and will eat anything. Also he refuses to cook other than grilling outside so he eats what i makes and shuts ups. Occasionally he'll mention that "it'd be ok if you never make this again." and usually I agree that whatever it was flopped so it doesn't hurt my feelings.

[meij]

Oh you're married to my husband!

This is the only thing we've ever fought about. I am not a great cook, but like you I can follow a recipe and make decent meals. My husband eats whatever I make and thanks me but I think he's actually really liked very few things I've made. Everything was "it's ok" It's annoying because I hate cooking and I always felt like he felt he could do better. So I just let him, lol. He does 98% of the cooking even though I SAH. He is pickier, likes boring meals and cares more about what he eats so I just let him deal with it. I don't care about eating at all, (am still waiting for food pill to be invented) so cooking is my most hated chore. The bitterness I have for cooking probably comes out in my dishes lol.

When I try to get all Pinteresty and fancy is when he's all ehhhh. He just wants meatloaf.

[lolo]

Yes, DH likes my cooking. He almost always thanks me for doing it and also encourages DD to say thank you. If a meal is especially good, he definitely lets me know, and we will discuss new recipes or things I've tried.

I can't imagine just enduring what you're going through and never addressing it. At a minimum, I would put him in control of the portion he gets so we are not wasting food.

[redpenmama]

Thanks, ladies!

To answer your questions:

- I ask after every new meal if he liked it. He normally gives a halfhearted "yeah," and I ask him to please tell me if he didn't because I don't want to make things he doesn't like. I have figured out that some "yeahs" mean "yes" and some mean "no" by his tone. He has never said that he didn't like a meal. (If I find most of it in the garbage, I don't make it again.)

- I have basically said everything that I said in my OP to him, most recently last night because that was the second night in a row he didn't eat. He just kind of stumbles around and doesn't say anything relevant, so I can't get anything out of him.

- He isn't picky outside of the house -- eats all sorts of things, loves my mom's food (which is VERY similar to my food -- maybe a bit more elaborate but similar meals), etc.

- He is inept and doesn't cook. He'll burn the Totino's pizza I get him. It's annoying and no excuse, but I do feel like the guy should eat, so I cook for him (and really don't mind the cooking part so long as people are eating).

I know none of that is helpful. I'm exasperated and debating a week of PBJ for him so he can see what the alternative is. I don't really need someone telling me that the food is amazing every night and thanking me profusely for cooking (though I wouldn't mind it)...I just want the effort I put into cooking at least lead to someone eating the food.

[rondonalddo]

Yes. My H does most of the cooking, though. And he's grateful because I do a lot of the recipe sourcing. We're usually on the same page on which recipes were disappointing.

[Deleted]

Generally, yes. There have been a few misses in the 8ish years we've lived together, but not many. I do 99% of the cooking, even now that we're both at home. He is appreciative and tells me when he particularly likes something. I have made things, though, that he loves and I hate, like meatloaf. The first time I made it with ketchup (I prefer meatloaf with brown gravy) it consisted of me throwing ingredients in a bowl and mixing them, and praying for the best. He scarfed down half the loaf and asks me to make it weekly ever since. Puke!

[sent]

Yes, usually. If he doesn't like something, he eats cereal or makes himself a sandwich. I stopped caring a long time ago.