I know this is exactly what you don't want to hear but I would absolutely quit this gym. This is NOT a healthy environment, mentally or physically. I would send an email to both of the coaches stating that you communicated quite clearly that you have an injury and that you have a plan in place to deal with it (approved by your DOCTORS) and that their ignoring that was wildly inappropriate. And furthermore, that regardless of injury, you are a grown ass adult who doesn't need to be chastised or berated or talked down to and that you will no longer be patronizing a business that refuses to offer you the barest minimum of personal respect.
Wow, this is horrible. I am sorry it happened to you. Is there any sort of governing body that you can speak with about the behavior of these coaches? Something that would get them a warning or threaten their certification?
I would write a strongly worded letter and explain that DESPITE them, you will continue to work out there, under YOUR conditions. I would also see if you can talk to other members and see if this is a regular occurrence. Can they get fired? And how dare that other person touch your weight bar.
I'd probably also write a scathing Yelp review under a fake name
I have no experience with CF so I am probably not the best person to give advice. So I am sorry you had this horrible experience. That is just awful. I would definitely send an email or letter. You're right. You are an adult and should be treated with respect. You know your body. Keep us posted!
I know this is exactly what you don't want to hear but I would absolutely quit this gym. This is NOT a healthy environment, mentally or physically. I would send an email to both of the coaches stating that you communicated quite clearly that you have an injury and that you have a plan in place to deal with it (approved by your DOCTORS) and that their ignoring that was wildly inappropriate. And furthermore, that regardless of injury, you are a grown ass adult who doesn't need to be chastised or berated or talked down to and that you will no longer be patronizing a business that refuses to offer you the barest minimum of personal respect.
This is where I am, without more to help me understand why you want to continue with this gym so much. I wouldn't be willing to patronize a gym where I got yelled at across the room, publicly (and that was the coach's sole method of addressing the issue in the moment); where my plan for working through an injury was disregarded; where there is so much peer pressure to do something you're not comfortable with; and where you find yourself in tears. It's just not ok - and what about when this happens again next time?
You were making the right choices for your body. You shouldn't be made to feel bad about that.
It just sounds like a bad CrossFit box and coach to me. My coaches would NEVER question me (even pre-pregnancy) about how much weight I lifted and how I felt. Nor would there be any yelling, because you're right, we are all adults.
If you can, find another box or form or lifting. That place is not a good place to be.
I feel like this is a really similar experience to something you've mentioned before. It doesn't seem like a healthy environment. My advice would be exactly what you don't want to hear . I'm sorry .
I know this is exactly what you don't want to hear but I would absolutely quit this gym. This is NOT a healthy environment, mentally or physically. I would send an email to both of the coaches stating that you communicated quite clearly that you have an injury and that you have a plan in place to deal with it (approved by your DOCTORS) and that their ignoring that was wildly inappropriate. And furthermore, that regardless of injury, you are a grown ass adult who doesn't need to be chastised or berated or talked down to and that you will no longer be patronizing a business that refuses to offer you the barest minimum of personal respect.
Post by foundmylazybum on Oct 5, 2014 9:13:27 GMT -5
Well, I know that when I'm working out--no matter what type, one of my goals is to have an enjoyable experience.
I don't define "enjoyable experience" as: 1. Another CLIENT telling me what to do and then loading my weights (lollolwtf) 2. Being yelled at--I've been there done that--you know back in high school 3. Crying in a bathroom.
You are asking us how we think YOU should respond. I think you need to sit down and really look at what your goals are for going to this gym. Are they really being met? If so--well then keep going! If not, then stop going...and if you feel like you CAN'T stop then figure out WHY. That's what you are really asking here.
Post by Wines Not Whines on Oct 5, 2014 9:23:12 GMT -5
I don't have any suggestions other than finding a new gym. This isn't the first time you've posted about their shitty behavior. I guess the other option is to pay someone a lot of money to treat you like a misbehaving child and risk reinjuring yourself. I guess if that's what you want to do, it's your prerogative.
You know I think you are an awesome person, so you know I say this with love:
You are a broken record when you talk about your Crossfit experience. It brings you way more grief than what it's worth.
This is the impression I have too. I am sure it's annoying to have specifically said that you don't want to leave this box and then read a bunch of posts telling you to do exactly that, but I for one don't feel comfortable giving you any other advice. Crossfit is an awesome, fun activity, but just like any sport you can quite seriously injure yourself, to say nothing of the emotional side of continuing to deal with these people. That said, my advice would be to quit and also to tell them why you're doing so, so I guess you could use that format to reply to the email. I'd mention:
- that you have repeatedly been upfront about your injury and limitations and understand that one of the pluses of CF is how it's inherently adaptable - that you in that circumstance repeatedly said that you did not want to up the weight because of your injury and do not see how they could be faulting you for lack of communication - that even barring injury (sometimes you're just tired or sick or not mentally up for it), no one should be pressured to put on more weight, and there is a major difference between an encouraging push and disrespecting someone's boundaries - that no one should be yelled at and embarrassed in front of others as you were - that no other non-coach should be allowed to get involved in your workout or affect a coach's opinion of the right weight/move for you
Post by foundmylazybum on Oct 5, 2014 9:45:41 GMT -5
IF you are going to continue going to this gym, then I would just respond to the email like this:
Hi Coach So and So, I was frankly stunned, embarrassed and hurt by the way I was treated on Saturday. There was blatant disregard for my injury as well as my limits which I felt I clearly communicated in the moment and in the past. It is inappropriate for other gym members to dictate how I or others do exercises and for those actions to be promoted by staff was also inappropriate.
To be clear, this is my injury and there are times when I--the client will determine which exercises are best for me. This is well within the standards of Crossfit instruction. I expect support, direction and effective feedback NOT criticism bordering on abuse from the coaching staff in the future.
I also expect that other clients do their work, and not focus on the work of others.
That is so terrible. I am stunned and can't believe they kept yelling at you. I've been at my CF for 3 years and cannot imagine something like that happening, ever. Any form of exercise involves listening to your body and someone who is pushing you to do something you don't feel you should be doing does not belong in a gym. Especially not as a trainer!!!
Thank you to everyone replying with words of advice. Yes, I have been upfront with my bad experiences with CrossFit. I knew I would take criticism posting all of this. I'm not sure what to do next but I want to try to make sure that they understand how bad their behavior was and that this doesn't happen to someone else. Speaking up is the only way to do this.
Thanks again for taking the time to give me advice:)
I TOTALLY agree with this. I am just not clear on why you also want to give them a second (third? tenth?) chance to upset and potentially injure you again. That's not a criticism of you - and I didn't read any criticism of you anywhere in this thread - it's a question and a concern.
Thank you to everyone replying with words of advice. Yes, I have been upfront with my bad experiences with CrossFit. I knew I would take criticism posting all of this. I'm not sure what to do next but I want to try to make sure that they understand how bad their behavior was and that this doesn't happen to someone else. Speaking up is the only way to do this.
Thanks again for taking the time to give me advice:)
It's important to let them know that their behavior is...um naughty lol and it is out of line. It's good assertive communication. Ask for change, but man this place doesn't sound the greatest, and honestly enfuego23, it *might* be time for YOU to mentally draw a line in the sand as to what you are going to do. Take it as it is OR leave and accept that they aren't going to change their ways, no matter what you say.
I'm sorry you feel like you are taking criticism. I think I underseand why you feel that way, but I really think people are responding from a place of concern and care for you, and are criticizing the box.
You articulated fairly well what happened in this post. I'd just copy a version of it and send it along.
Yelling at you across the gym is unacceptable. The other client needs to be addressed as well. This whole environment is going to get you injured again.
There are a hundred different boxes out there. Obviously this one is not listening to you or your needs.
Thank you to everyone replying with words of advice. Yes, I have been upfront with my bad experiences with CrossFit. I knew I would take criticism posting all of this. I'm not sure what to do next but I want to try to make sure that they understand how bad their behavior was and that this doesn't happen to someone else. Speaking up is the only way to do this.
Thanks again for taking the time to give me advice:)
Definitely tell them what they did was fucked up and so nasty. But do not give them one more cent of your money. They don't deserve it! They should be ashamed of themselves. I seriously would have punched that bitch if she touched my weight bar. So kudos on handling it better than me.
I'm so sorry you feel criticized, I'm just protective of my friends and I feel like you are being abused here, all I want is for you to train happily and comfortably. The coaches were wrong here, but the other girl taking your bar and adding weight was absolutely inappropriate, and the coaches shouldn't have allowed that. Period.
Yes all this comes from a place of concern. This is their job and if I acted the way they did at my job, I would be fired. It is inappropriate for them to act like they did. And under no circumstance should a personal trainer/coach/ etc, go against medical advice if they want what's best for their client.
Thank you to everyone replying with words of advice. Yes, I have been upfront with my bad experiences with CrossFit. I knew I would take criticism posting all of this. I'm not sure what to do next but I want to try to make sure that they understand how bad their behavior was and that this doesn't happen to someone else. Speaking up is the only way to do this.
Thanks again for taking the time to give me advice:)
Definitely tell them what they did was fucked up and so nasty. But do not give them one more cent of your money. They don't deserve it! They should be ashamed of themselves. I seriously would have punched that bitch if she touched my weight bar. So kudos on handling it better than me.
I would fucking cut a bitch if they did this, especially if they were adding when I had clearly stated my decrease was due to an injury.
This whole thing speaks poorly of the coaches and their absolute lack of knowledge on proper coaching and lifting in general. And poor business sense to degrade you further in an e-mail and make it seem as though you are the only problem. I haven't seen your other complaints, but this alone is reason enough to leave and blast them on every social media site that exists. That box and those coaches are proof that any fuckwad with no lifting experience or education other that the 1 weekend Crossfit certification can open a box.
Post by Wines Not Whines on Oct 5, 2014 12:25:48 GMT -5
I don't think anyone is trying to criticize you. We're criticizing your gym and your coaches. The right answer seems so clear to us, but we can take a step back and see the big picture. It might not be so obvious or easy when you're the one involved. We are trying to be helpful and explain how the situation seems to us.
I would have FLIPPED MY SHIT on some chick telling me what to do during a workout, and also on those Coaches. But I would have also ended up in the bathroom crying afterwards. I don't blame you for feeling what you are feeling.
CrossFit boxes often become a community, a place where you make friends that you enjoy working out with (even more so than other larger gyms). But this makes it especially hard when you get frustrated with the coaching (or lack thereof), the programming, the space, etc because you don't want to "break up" with them. However, in this case, you need to break up. Those people are assholes. The coaches should have walked over and had conversation with you about your injury, shown empathy, encouraged you to do what feels best, then dropped it. No questions asked.
Unfortunately, because they are asshats, they very well might not care about your feedback. I do encourage you to give it, and also leave a Yelp review, but do not be upset if you don't get the response you would like.
The workout methodology of CrossFit has major advantages but ONLY with quality coaching, programming, and owners that stay present and engaged to what is happening in their gym. I'm sorry you've had this experience. I've been there and it's infuriating, especially with the $$ you spend on a membership.
I am in absolutely not criticizing you. You expressed yourself very clearly while there, they just weren't listening.
In all my years of lifting I've never had someone load my bar by adding more weight without checking with me first. I'm appalled that was allowed to happen.
I don't think anyone here is criticizing you. I think everyone has given you really supportive and encouraging advice. I personally agree 100% with runaways. They failed at treating you with basic respect and that's not ok.
My H has a "rule": You shouldn't make it hard for me to spend my money. It sounds like this box is doing that for you. If you have explained your injury and limits, and they are not only not respecting that but yelling at you...I wouldn't want to keep paying them.
And the other girl dictating what you should be lifting and touching your bar? No.
I'm proud of you for not beating the shit out of some woman who thought it was ok to add weight to your bar. And a coach's job is to step in and protect his/her athletes, not to tear them down or allow others to do so.
I know you don't want to quit cf, and I wouldn't. But I would quit that box after sending an email
I'd pretty much copy what you posted here adding that the coaches were very unprofessional, dangerous in their advice and humiliated you, therefore you're not going to be returning and will not recommend any friends or family become members either.
I'm sorry that happened to you and fuck them and that nosy ass girl who had no business adding weights to your bar.