Eek. I'm sorry, do you have anyone that is going to come help you out some? DH is leaving for 7 days at the end of Nov. so I feel you, but I am a bad mom and will be totally be pawning off DS1 for a couple of the days.
Eek. I'm sorry, do you have anyone that is going to come help you out some? DH is leaving for 7 days at the end of Nov. so I feel you, but I am a bad mom and will be totally be pawning off DS1 for a couple of the days.
My MIL will be her for half of he days and out of town the other half. It's something at least
Post by zeewifeandmama on Oct 22, 2014 9:18:22 GMT -5
:::: hug::: my husband is going to be gone for three weeks. I'm right there with you! You can do it!! Dial back allll expectations and just get through it. If everybody is alive and relatively happy, you've done it
You'll be fine once you get in a groove. Is wear the anticipation is worse than the actual time (for me at least). Think of the fact you can eat whatever you want for dinner & hog the tv & bed. .
You know, you'll probably be fine. During Hs busy season I just find my groove and do it. So much so that when he's around again I'm also upset he's screwing up my plans..ha.
I try to plan stuff for the kids to do. I try to do actively play with them a bit everyday, get them outside as long as I can, do an art project a week, one bigger outing (the state park)one smaller outing (ECFE class, playand). My kids are overwhelmed by too busy but this seems to work.
I also try to do me things so I'm not stressed. Stop for coffee more, make the food H hates, read a magazine while the kids play that sort of simple easy stuff.
And lower my expectations. Breathing? Semi-clean? Fed something a level above fruit snacks? Hugged, loved and played with? Great.
Also do you have any backup? Grandma, teen babysitter, Aunt etc. That helps a ton. Even if they come over so I have some one to drink wine with.
My kids are a bit older (I know you have a NB) but I also try to go places myself. H is in the middle of his busy season and last weekend we spent 3 days at my Moms. This weekend I'm considering packing up the kids and heading to my sisters 3 hours away. 1 day wasted in roadtrip, 1 day of play, another back home. Kills time easily enough.
Post by barefootcontessa on Oct 22, 2014 9:25:33 GMT -5
Honestly, I do not think I would be okay with this. Does this trip provide meat for your family? It is one thing to be gone for work but to be gone for TEN days for leisure time when you have a newborn and another young child? Is there no way for him to scale back? If not, then definitely get a sitter so you have some time to rest and get a break.
You are way better than me. There is no way in hell I would be happy about that and would probably tell him flat out no or compromise and tell him he can have a free weekend.
Post by jeaniebueller on Oct 22, 2014 9:36:03 GMT -5
Why is he going longer this year? I hear you, my H is going to be gone 5-7 days for hunting this month, but my baby is older than yours so it will be tough, but not as bad.
Honestly, I do not think I would be okay with this. Does this trip provide meat for your family? It is one thing to be gone for work but to be gone for TEN days for leisure time when you have a newborn and another young child? Is there no way for him to scale back? If not, then definitely get a sitter so you have some time to rest and get a break.
Really girls? She's looking for love, commiseration and ideas here. Not a "No way would I ever let H do this!"
She's obviously okay (just nervous) with this or it wouldn't be a question in the first place. I highly doubt a 10 day hunting trip is going on without prior discussion in the zarapipe household.
DH is going away for 10 days when #3 will be 6-8 weeks old. I have a 5 year old and two year old too.
My sister is coming to stay in town and will help, particularly putting the older two to bed. I'm going to put the toddler in some extra daycare and buy a bunch of premade meals.
It really sucks. Set the bar low and hire/ask for as much help as you can.
ETA: oh and he's gone for one to two nights two weeks after #3's due date. WTF! No family in town. I think I'm going to ask a sitter to come by for 2-3 hours each night and do bath and bed for the older two. Wondering how I will get DS1 to school in the morning... guess I'll just have to suck it up. Hope I don't have a c-section or any complications.
Seriously, if he is going to be spending that kind of money for a 10-day trip, you need to not feel bad about getting a daily babysitter for the days you don't have help. Consider it an investment in your marital health.
So much this too. I let H do these sorts of things no problem but I have no regrets or guilt about what I choose to do while he's gone and when it's my turn for payback at a later date.
Setting aside the fact that 10 day trips seems long I would proactively line up some help. I always get help when my DH is gone for long stretches. Hire a sitter for one of the Saturdays he's gone so you can go out and do stuff like shopping (and also get lunch by yourself or get your hair or nails done). Get a HS student to come in a few nights so you have few more hands during the evening crush.
Ask your DH to start making freezer meals for you guys so it is will be easier when he's gone.
I agree- get a sitter a couple times and also try to plan a few things to do. Not everyday all day, but a couple times throughout the 10 days. It will help!
Really girls? She's looking for love, commiseration and ideas here. Not a "No way would I ever let H do this!"
She's obviously okay (just nervous) with this or it wouldn't be a question in the first place. I highly doubt a 10 day hunting trip is going on without prior discussion in the zarapipe household.
Thanks, yeah this was discussed before, but I didn't know how long.
@fivedogs this is basically a free trip. He goes with his boss every year (goes out west, we live in NC) and his boss pays for his ticket, lodging and most of the food. He just has to pay for his hunting tag which is expensive (I think $500?), snacks and to process, anything he kills.
You'll be fine once you get in a groove. Is wear the anticipation is worse than the actual time (for me at least). Think of the fact you can eat whatever you want for dinner & hog the tv & bed. .
Not cooking is the best part
Dinners will include cereal, eggs, takeout, pizza, hummus plate. All of the good stuff haha
Oh dear. I completely understand! DH had two travel for 2 weeks straight for work and I told my mom that she is not allowed to travel for work those weeks. We have been shopping every day!
Having your MIL there will be great for the first part, and maybe you can find someone else to help out the 2nd half. If not pay for a babysitter a few times, hell you are "saving" money by only using a babysitter the 2nd half of the trip.
Post by leonard131 on Oct 22, 2014 10:31:22 GMT -5
You are better person then me but given what you said about who he goes with and it not costing much I might be able to only hold a grudge for a couple years :-)
Can a friend or someone you haven't seen in a while come to stay with you? Someone that can provide help and doesn't need to be entertained but who would be great company?
I agree with the others, line up play dates, lower expectations.
We're on week 3, and granted I only have one kid, but we've been living off previously frozen casseroles, increased take out, and a ton of "fun" outings (hey, to him going to IKEA is fun because he gets to go to the "restaurant").
My gut reaction: I'll hold HIM so you can smack some sense into him.
But that's not helpful.
You will be fine. Try to make it like an adventure for you and your LOs. I find being in that mind frame rather than "How DARE he leave me!!" makes things go much more smoothly. Have fun snacks, play dates, etc. Let your older one do something that's really special (camp out in the living room one night?). Hire a babysitter or have a friend come over a few nights. I turn making dinner into an activity with DS1 sometimes when H is gone. Mini pot pies, homemade pizzas (on a pre-made crust), pigs in a blanket, etc. Activity/bonding time & food on the table. Also, PBJs for DS1 and whatever I can get delivered for me after the kids are in bed is popular.