I've been threatening to do this since DD was born. It won't happen until the kids are reasonable, so probably year after next. And then I'm spending an equal sum to DH's season football tickets x the number of years he's had them on a trip FOR ME.
DH has done a lot of solo trips for work and leisure. Usually just for 2 or 3 days for non-work stuff (a weekend away). A 10 day non-work solo trip would have to be for a really really good reason.
I've actually never done a solo trip. I could probably do it now but I'd feel guilty about leaving the kids for more than 3 days. Plus it'd be really hard to organize a solo trip for me since we have no family around to help with child care and the kids don't go to day care (I SAHM) so I would have to plan it for when DH has time off to watch the kids and usually when he has time off then I just want to hang out with him.
NO. I am just not that good at leaving DS for long periods of time. Heck I JUST got good at letting others put him to bed ( while I go out, or enjoy a glass of wine or whatever).
I wasn't like this when he was teeny tiny, but the bigger he gets the more clingy I get.
I went on a 17 day trip with my best friend to Thailand and Japan earlier this year. Elijah was about 8 months old. I have absolutely no regrets. We had the best time, my husband and E bonded, and everyone is still alive and well. I hope and plan to do this frequently (although maybe not quite as long of trips)!
I wouldn't likely say 'no' to him taking a vacation without me. He was just out of town for five days. The kids and I did fine. I can't imagine where I'd go without him for 10 days at this point. We have too many places we would love to travel to together for 10 days! I guess I'd maybe go without him if it was with friends or something, but I have no interest in going all by myself for that long. Honestly, being gone for 10 days requires a ton of coordination and isn't all that relaxing for me. We're going for 7 days later this winter and, even though we have lots of family interested in watching our kids when we go on vacation, finding care for three kids for seven days took a lot of coordinating.
Post by gibbinator on Oct 22, 2014 15:59:26 GMT -5
When kids are older (basically I'm not nursing anyone) I absolutely would. Assuming we've got the money and it's not an inconvenient time for dh, like exam week or report cards are due. I wouldn't "let" dh go on any leisure trips longer than a weekend until kids are older either. I'd definitely call both mom's in for help every other day.
DH is away a lot for work. I went away for three days on my own for a girls weekend in February. DS1 was 4 yrs, DS2 13 months. DH had to take a day off work but he did great and I had an awesome time.
If the kids were the right age, weaned and STTN, I would go for 10 days.
All that said, I don't see myself doing that for quite a few years for so many reasons. I wouldn't want to use up a good chunk of our vacation/travel budget on just me. We don't have any family near us so DH would have to rely on a lot of daycare and babysitters for help. If the kids were a lot older, like 8 years +, it probably wouldn't be too bad though.
I SAH so it would be a lot harder - at least until DS is in full day school. I went away Wed-Sun last spring and DH took one day off and I had sitters lined up the other two days.
Post by yellowbrkrd on Oct 22, 2014 18:47:00 GMT -5
Well, DH travels for work, and traveled a LOT when M was a teeny tiny baby, so I feel like I deserve a nice trip. But in reality, it would have to be one hell of a vacation for me to want to leave for that long.
Would I if possible? Yes yes yes! And maybe take my mom because I love traveling with her.
Is it possible? Not really. DH would have to take leave the entire time and I wouldn't ask him to do that.
Would he do it to me? Possibly. Wouldn't be a huge deal. He's gone five nights a week and is out of commission or at work most weekends so I am used to solo parenting. I would have to do daycare drop off and pickup but with my new job it's totally doable, I would just feel badly that DS was in school longer than usual.
That sounds heavenly. I would absolutely do it, given the chance. So would DH.
I'll be leaving DH and DD on their own for about 10 days in April for work but since I don't really have a choice in the matter (and I'll be working my ass off), it's not quite the same.
Post by karinothing on Oct 22, 2014 20:22:11 GMT -5
I am debating this right now. I want to visit a friend in Israel for a week or so. DH doesn't really want to take DS there (I think just because he is not 100% convinced it is safe but apparently thinks I can handle myself lol). Anyway, I have no issue leaving DS alone with DH for that long, but it might be impossible logistically. There is no way that DH could do daycare pick up and go into the office each day. So, he would either have to take the week off or work at home.
DH goes on work trips for over a week so he owes me He has done fun stuff too but only for like 4 days. He seems down with me going though.
My main hang up is whether I can justify it financially.
I am debating this right now. I want to visit a friend in Israel for a week or so. DH doesn't really want to take DS there (I think just because he is not 100% convinced it is safe but apparently thinks I can handle myself lol). Anyway, I have no issue leaving DS alone with DH for that long, but it might be impossible logistically. There is no way that DH could do daycare pick up and go into the office each day. So, he would either have to take the week off or work at home.
DH goes on work trips for over a week so he owes me He has done fun stuff too but only for like 4 days. He seems down with me going though.
My main hang up is whether I can justify it financially.
I bet you could find temporary help on care.com for daycare pick ups.
There were often posts for people needing temporary and short term care when I was actively looking for jobs on there.
I am debating this right now. I want to visit a friend in Israel for a week or so. DH doesn't really want to take DS there (I think just because he is not 100% convinced it is safe but apparently thinks I can handle myself lol). Anyway, I have no issue leaving DS alone with DH for that long, but it might be impossible logistically. There is no way that DH could do daycare pick up and go into the office each day. So, he would either have to take the week off or work at home.
DH goes on work trips for over a week so he owes me He has done fun stuff too but only for like 4 days. He seems down with me going though.
My main hang up is whether I can justify it financially.
I bet you could find temporary help on care.com for daycare pick ups.
There were often posts for people needing temporary and short term care when I was actively looking for jobs on there.
Yeah, I am not entirely sure whether I could be comfortable with that, I think I would want the person to form an relationship with DS before hand. But I think DH could work from home for a week (he seems on board with it anyway)...now the money issue.
I just feel like I should go because tickets are like $680-800 which is super cheap!
Post by irishbride2 on Oct 22, 2014 21:17:05 GMT -5
The most either of us has done without the other is 7 days, and that was pre-kids. I went with my family on a trip.
I've done 5 days twice without him since we've had both kids. Once for work (it was a completely optional conference that I begged to go to) and once on vacation with my dad.
He's done a few trips without me. Mostly work conferences but a few weekend trips as well.
The only 10ish day trip I would consider without DH is if I went to visit my family over the summer. I have summers off and H does not. 10 days is not feasible for him. I would take the kids, though.
Post by winecheery on Oct 22, 2014 23:51:05 GMT -5
No. I would go for like a week maybe? (As in 5 days max??) And even then maybe when DD is older or something but right now I'd miss her waaaay too much to go more then a few days. And H, frankly. We like to travel together. I think 10 days apart would not really suit us too well. A day to myself sounds like a decent recharge right now. !0 days is excessive for me.
My answer may change when DD is well-into her to her school-aged years. But I can't see that far ahead. :-)
ETA: Did I misunderstand the question?? I assumed the 10 days meant leaving H AND children to go somewhere without them…not taking the kid(s) too. Oh well that's how I answered!
Alone, alone? no way unless it was for work. Alone as in without my family but with a group? I can't think of a single person who would vacation with me for 10 days, besides DH. A weekend by myself, even at home, sounds better than Paris.
Well in January I'll be going on a 3 week work trip, so there's that. I would also do a 10-day vacation (with friends or family, not by myself). I think my main emotion would be guilt about leaving DH with all the work. Of course I would miss DS too, but that would not necessarily make me want to turn down the vacation. I do feel bad about leaving DH for the 3 week work trip, but what can I do, ya know. It's the culmination of the project I've been working on and it would be so unfortunate for me to back out.
I havent read the replies, but yes I would. But, I don't think I would want to be gone that long, at least not at this point. But once the kids are older I probably would.
Now that my mom watches the kids during the day this would be doable although it would make for very long days for my mom. Before, when J was in daycare H would have had to take a ton of leave and I couldn't ask him to do that for such a long period of time.
Eta: I should say this wouldn't work at all right now unless my mom moved in. It is impossible for one person to get all 3 kids down at night and with the nursing etc it would be a nightmare for H. In a few years it will be different, but right now it isn't realistic.
LOL, after I responded to this thread, I wake up this morning to DH showing me an article in the NYT travel section and asking, "wouldn't you rather go on a yoga retreat to Vieques for your birthday next year than to India?" The retreats run between 3-5 days.
I am debating this right now. I want to visit a friend in Israel for a week or so. DH doesn't really want to take DS there (I think just because he is not 100% convinced it is safe but apparently thinks I can handle myself lol). Anyway, I have no issue leaving DS alone with DH for that long, but it might be impossible logistically. There is no way that DH could do daycare pick up and go into the office each day. So, he would either have to take the week off or work at home.
DH goes on work trips for over a week so he owes me He has done fun stuff too but only for like 4 days. He seems down with me going though.
My main hang up is whether I can justify it financially.
Do it if you can swing it. It is beautiful and if you have a friend who lives there it would be so much fun. I studied abroad there and I think it gets the shaft due to all the other issues. Plus it is so small that you literally see the whole country in a week.
Is there a teacher so aid at his daycare that could help for the week? I know a couple times M's teachers have mentioned being willing to babysit.