apparently I'm the crazy one (w a little update)

[mpc]

I posted a while ago about my church's no breasting in the service policy. I've been stewing over this for a while and finally got around to finishing my letter to the head pastor. Since this had come up in one of my Facebook groups, I posted over there to see if anyone knew of any updates before I sent my letter. Now I'm getting a bunch of responses that are all "why stir the pot?", "you'll be wasting your breath", "starting a fight over it isn't the answer". 

So I guess I really am the crazy one. Writing an email because of a policy I don't agree with. 

Update:
The girl that was originally asked to leave posted and shared what had happened since that incident.

We spoke up and were told that the reason their policy is in place is because of money. People who make the donations and go to all the meetings and volunteer all their time and energies are the people that made this policy. They told me that I was more than welcome to work within the church and change it from the ground up. But the head wasn't going to change something that the 'population' had decided on.
In further looking into it, the 'population' turned out to be the ones donating the most money.
Its sad and sick that they can't hear something and help but, me doing it alone didn't change anything.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry that's the response you're getting. I would absolutely send it to your head pastor, and this would absolutely be a "do or die" thing for me in staying or leaving in a church community.

[halfpint]

Wtf, no. You are not the crazy one here.
Send your email. If no one ever tells people they're wrong, they'll keep doing ignorant, stupid sh!t like banning breastfeeding mothers from service.

[Deleted]

I can't believe people in your groups weren't more supportive. I'd still send the letter.

[mpc]

Oct 23, 2014 15:37:49 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

I can't believe people in your groups weren't more supportive. I'd still send the letter.

I couldn't believe it either! Esp after the response (in this SAME fb group) to the first post about it last month. 

[water*drop]

You are not crazy. Starting a fight over that policy absolutely is the answer - how else will the policy change? And it SHOULD change. If a mother would prefer to leave the service to breastfeed, that is fine. If she would prefer to stay in the service while breastfeeding, that is also fine. Somebody else dictating what the mother should do in this case is not fine.

[shelbyann]

It's a pot that needs to be stirred, in this case. Ugh, I'm sorry you're not getting more support.

[lolo]

Thank you for standing up to a policy that isn't right.

Some would say that Jesus did that often too.

[laurenh]

You are not the crazy one, that is insane. I missed the OP, but the majority of states have laws protecting the rights of breastfeeding mothers in public places and I doubt a church would be exempt from following the law. I hope that your pastor takes your letter seriously and if not, I hope you're able to find a more respectful and welcoming parish.

[mrshandy]

So so rude and unacceptable that they treat moms this way. They should be ashamed. Please put up a stink. I totally would.

[mannah]

Yeah it's defintely not you in this case. Please send the email and keep us posted about the follow up. I remember your OP and feeling ragey for you.

[soxin2]

I almost BF in church but he fell asleep. Otherwise, I totally will feed my one week old (then) - (now 3wks) wherever he is hungry. But I'm also a 3rd time mom and BFer... And I have no filter or shyness (I would use a cover out of deference to my more modest church friends)

[winemaker06]

Absolutely not crazy. I would write the letter, since there may be others not comfortable standing up for themselves.

[winecheery]

Wait…even with a cover or something?? I was never a big NIP person, but write the letter. I am sure that even if no change is made, you will be glad you tried to stand up for something you believe in. Others may be too embarrassed to do so.

[VillainV]

I would absolutely leave a church that wouldn't allow breastfeeding. Your right to breastfeed in public places is protected by law. I know church isn't necessarily a public place, but still. If you can breast feed in line at Lowes (and I have) then you should be able to BF at church.

[vanillacourage]

Oct 23, 2014 15:36:23 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

I'm sorry that's the response you're getting. I would absolutely send it to your head pastor, and this would absolutely be a "do or die" thing for me in staying or leaving in a church community.

This, except I would probably end up leaving the church anyway. The reactions from other members would be enough to tell me that it wasn't a community I would ultimately want to be a part of.

[anna7602]

According to many, many paintings, Jesus was breastfed. Maybe you need to show some of these to your pastor? Or is he saying he would ask baby Jesus to go hungry during services?

[formerlyllizzyb]

I remember seeing your post.

I agree; it's a pot that needs to be stirred.

[Deleted]

Not crazy. Also sending an email is not "starting a fight". Maybe arranging a huge nurse in before trying other routes would be "starting a fight". I think an email is great. Maybe whoever made the rule is clueless and just needs it brought to their attention.

[havarti]

Have you checked your state laws on NIP? If they're bf friendly, I wouldn't hesitate to bring that to the attention of church leadership.

[redpenmama]

You should absolutely send the email. I'm sorry you aren't getting support elsewhere, but you have it here.

[heygrey]

send the letter anyway. these sort of antiquated rules exist because people DON'T stir the pot, because they sit back and say "what's the point? who's going to listen to little old me?" it might not change because you say something, but you need to put your voice out there and hope it combines with others to have an affect on this church.

i was so irate with your first post and i'm getting all hot again just thinking about it.

[mpc]

you know, I get that this isn't something that everyone would be speaking up against and I'm ok with that. There are plenty of issues out there and not everyone is going to take up every issue. I just don't understand discouraging someone, unless these girls actually believe the church is right. whatever. A few people did show up supporting me later in the thread.

Now for the interesting part. The girl that was originally asked to leave posted and shared what had happened since that incident.

We spoke up and were told that the reason their policy is in place is because of money. People who make the donations and go to all the meetings and volunteer all their time and energies are the people that made this policy. They told me that I was more than welcome to work within the church and change it from the ground up. But the head wasn't going to change something that the 'population' had decided on.
In further looking into it, the 'population' turned out to be the ones donating the most money.
Its sad and sick that they can't hear something and help but, me doing it alone didn't change anything.

I'm still going to send my letter. I doubt it will do much good but maybe if they start hearing the same thing from multiple sources, who knows... I'm hoping the pastor responds so that I will have an opportunity to "counter" their position. I haven't decided if I really want to do more than that, though. We will be finding a new church.

[xokell2]

That update makes me even angrier. I'd send the letter and keep pushing. They give all the money so they make all the rules? No way

[Deleted]

Yeah, that's when I'd call LLL and then leave the church.

I know that money runs churches. It's disgusting.

[londoncalling]

So essentially you have to out donate both money and time to be able to do something that's natural AND legally protected*?

I'd send the letter, leave the church, and make sure it the public was informed of their illegal policies*.

*Obviously this is state specific.

[catbus]

Apparently it's angry Friday for me. Fuck that apathetic response. NOT OK. Please escalate, and consider taking it to local news. Because THIS? This is far more newsworthy than a minor bakery error.