I did not bounce back from my gall bladder surgery well at all. My mom made me feel worse because she said that she was going places and back to normal activities the day after and made it seem like it was my fault. The surgery was last Tuesday and I'm just now starting to feel normal.
Have you had your kids? Did your mom have little kids when she had hers?
If the situations are not the same, it's not fair for your mom to even compare at all.
I was young (27) when I had mine out and was able to lay in bed for a full week. Alone. The most I had to do was feed and bathe myself. Oh and let my dogs out. But we lived where there were no steps. I felt great a week post-op, but I wouldn't say it was "normal" because I kept a pillow on my belly when sitting/driving for like a month! I didn't know about belly binders at that time.
C25K...it works Seaside 5K...........40:45(2012) Turkey Trot..........41:30(2012)/37:08(2013)/37:40(2014) St Pat's 5K..........39:27(2013)/38:48(2014)/35:12(2015) Belair Town Run......38:09(2013)/36:27(2014) Back To Football 5K..37:36(2013)/43:44(2015) Balt Run Fest 5K.....34:59(2013)/41:50(2014)/35:54(2015)
Post by formerlyllizzyb on Oct 31, 2014 7:51:21 GMT -5
I really, really don't like Dave Ramsey, but I do think the envelope system and debt snowball are good tools.
However, I'm no where near the picture of financial intelligence or perfection, so I'm in no place to say anything.
H was going over his yearly earnings and bonus payments last night and it's incredible we don't have more to show for his income. Life is just so expensive. We do splurge, but within reason.
I need to remember we've bought two cars in the last 18 months, paid for an out of network surgery, bought a shit ton of furnitureand paid off my undergrad loans and more than 50% of his grad loans.
Did you read the books? I'm STILL debating this lol!
I read them a long time ago, maybe 2006? I still remember the premise though. I am just hoping a cash system helps us stay in line. I track our spending, and know where our money goes, just too much of it goes and doesn't stay haha. Every time I talked to DH about it in the past, his comment was well, we just need to do better. Then nothing changes. So I felt it was time for a big change, at least temporarily. We are going to use cash for groceries, eating out, entertainment, fun money, baby items, clothes, and gifts. I think that was it.
We do envelopes for these things too. It helps us a lot. We took a few months off and are starting again next month. Womp womp
There is a mom in my local mom's group who is my BEC. She also has twin boys and is very tiger mom. She makes condescending, hurtful, and smug remarks all the time.
Example---I organized a get together last month for everyone( H's, moms and kids) we ended up not going because the boys were in the hospital. Everyone was emailing me asking how they could help, sympathy, well wishes etc. What does she email? Something like, "Since the kids have started school so many germs are going around but my boys haven't gotten sick. Isn't it amazing how much healthier and more resilient their bodies are now that they are older?" I was WTFing that hard core.
Fast forward to this week. We are planning Halloween activities. She mentions going to an event and that her boys tried candy for the first time and she recommends we all don't do it. We should wait longer because its like crack to them and makes them crazy.
Our kids are all 2.5.
I responded with "The boys have been eating "crack" for the past year and a half. I haven't noticed them being any crazier but maybe its because its only fair trade organic crack. None of that Hershy's junk."
Not my finest moment but STFU lady. lolaburns see? I'm not always nice
I really enjoy my free time during the day when A is napping. When dh comes home early, during naptime, I feel robbed of quiet time to myself. I really like routine and I feel like when he shows up, it messes me up. Luckily, it only happens a few times a month.
Eta: I always act so happy to see him but inside it's like, "great, quiet time out the window."
There is a mom in my local mom's group who is my BEC. She also has twin boys and is very tiger mom. She makes condescending, hurtful, and smug remarks all the time.
Example---I organized a get together last month for everyone( H's, moms and kids) we ended up not going because the boys were in the hospital. Everyone was emailing me asking how they could help, sympathy, well wishes etc. What does she email? Something like, "Since the kids have started school so many germs are going around but my boys haven't gotten sick. Isn't it amazing how much healthier and more resilient their bodies are now that they are older?" I was WTFing that hard core.
Fast forward to this week. We are planning Halloween activities. She mentions going to an event and that her boys tried candy for the first time and she recommends we all don't do it. We should wait longer because its like crack to them and makes them crazy.
Our kids are all 2.5.
I responded with "The boys have been eating "crack" for the past year and a half. I haven't noticed them being any crazier but maybe its because its only fair trade organic crack. None of that Hershy's junk."
Not my finest moment but STFU lady. lolaburns see? I'm not always nice
I did not bounce back from my gall bladder surgery well at all. My mom made me feel worse because she said that she was going places and back to normal activities the day after and made it seem like it was my fault. The surgery was last Tuesday and I'm just now starting to feel normal.
Have you had your kids? Did your mom have little kids when she had hers?
If the situations are not the same, it's not fair for your mom to even compare at all.
I was young (27) when I had mine out and was able to lay in bed for a full week. Alone. The most I had to do was feed and bathe myself. Oh and let my dogs out. But we lived where there were no steps. I felt great a week post-op, but I wouldn't say it was "normal" because I kept a pillow on my belly when sitting/driving for like a month! I didn't know about belly binders at that time.
I didn't really have the kids because DH was home taking care of them and really all I did was sit in the recliner and snooze. Did you have laproscopic or the full incision?
I did not bounce back from my gall bladder surgery well at all. My mom made me feel worse because she said that she was going places and back to normal activities the day after and made it seem like it was my fault. The surgery was last Tuesday and I'm just now starting to feel normal.
I know we already talked about this, but yeah, neither did I. Part of it was because I was having an allergic reaction to the pain meds and my doctor refused to change it..but overall I just felt like crap for far too long. After a week off work I still left early my first day back. Something about standing and twisting and lifting for 5 hours just wasn't appealing to me.
Oh and my stitches took forever to heal and one of them got nasty because my pants scraped it. Ugh.
But hey, at least we don't have gallbladder attacks anymore!
Post by skiesthelimit on Oct 31, 2014 8:02:16 GMT -5
*Poof*
You ladies are the most incredible women I have even known. So supportive, caring, and understanding. I am so lucky to have you to come too. Thank you.
I really, really don't like Dave Ramsey, but I do think the envelope system and debt snowball are good tools.
However, I'm no where near the picture of financial intelligence or perfection, so I'm in no place to say anything.
H was going over his yearly earnings and bonus payments last night and it's incredible we don't have more to show for his income. Life is just so expensive. We do splurge, but within reason.
I need to remember we've bought two cars in the last 18 months, paid for an out of network surgery, bought a shit ton of furnitureand paid off my undergrad loans and more than 50% of his grad loans.
Bragplaint, I guess?
I fully admit, I'm biased against Dave Ramsey, because so many of the stuff I see on my Facebook that people post from his blog and other things often imply that all debt issues are because of irresponsibility. I think his hard line approach is good for people who really have no idea how to be fiscally responsible (like going cold-turkey on an addiction), or for people who are getting close to dire straights, but it's not always feasible.
I've done a bit of research on his investment recommendations, though, and there are a lot of financial advisers that say his investment recommendations are inaccurate and sometimes irresponsible.
There is a mom in my local mom's group who is my BEC. She also has twin boys and is very tiger mom. She makes condescending, hurtful, and smug remarks all the time.
Example---I organized a get together last month for everyone( H's, moms and kids) we ended up not going because the boys were in the hospital. Everyone was emailing me asking how they could help, sympathy, well wishes etc. What does she email? Something like, "Since the kids have started school so many germs are going around but my boys haven't gotten sick. Isn't it amazing how much healthier and more resilient their bodies are now that they are older?" I was WTFing that hard core.
Fast forward to this week. We are planning Halloween activities. She mentions going to an event and that her boys tried candy for the first time and she recommends we all don't do it. We should wait longer because its like crack to them and makes them crazy.
Our kids are all 2.5.
I responded with "The boys have been eating "crack" for the past year and a half. I haven't noticed them being any crazier but maybe its because its only fair trade organic crack. None of that Hershy's junk."
Not my finest moment but STFU lady. lolaburns see? I'm not always nice
That would make me really mad. She sounds like she's snarky to be snarky. I'm glad you said something to her! Maybe if you just keep saying stuff back, she'll lay off the dumb comments. Maybe.
There is a mom in my local mom's group who is my BEC. She also has twin boys and is very tiger mom. She makes condescending, hurtful, and smug remarks all the time.
Example---I organized a get together last month for everyone( H's, moms and kids) we ended up not going because the boys were in the hospital. Everyone was emailing me asking how they could help, sympathy, well wishes etc. What does she email? Something like, "Since the kids have started school so many germs are going around but my boys haven't gotten sick. Isn't it amazing how much healthier and more resilient their bodies are now that they are older?" I was WTFing that hard core.
Fast forward to this week. We are planning Halloween activities. She mentions going to an event and that her boys tried candy for the first time and she recommends we all don't do it. We should wait longer because its like crack to them and makes them crazy.
Our kids are all 2.5.
I responded with "The boys have been eating "crack" for the past year and a half. I haven't noticed them being any crazier but maybe its because its only fair trade organic crack. None of that Hershy's junk."
Not my finest moment but STFU lady. lolaburns see? I'm not always nice
Have you had your kids? Did your mom have little kids when she had hers?
If the situations are not the same, it's not fair for your mom to even compare at all.
I was young (27) when I had mine out and was able to lay in bed for a full week. Alone. The most I had to do was feed and bathe myself. Oh and let my dogs out. But we lived where there were no steps. I felt great a week post-op, but I wouldn't say it was "normal" because I kept a pillow on my belly when sitting/driving for like a month! I didn't know about belly binders at that time.
I didn't really have the kids because DH was home taking care of them and really all I did was sit in the recliner and snooze. Did you have laproscopic or the full incision?
Still....even though you had help, I'm sure you weren't totally relieved of every parenting responsibility as someone with zero kids at home would be.
I had laprosocpic. The surgeon (who was a family friend) told my mom it was more complicated than normal because my stones were super big. It took over 3hrs as opposed to a normal 45 minutes. I used to say that's why my recovery was difficult; they were in there a long time. But now I know it's because I'm a slow healer and very cautious. Someone described me as having "a very sensitive nervous system" which was a really nice way of saying I'm a wimp. But I own it! Now I know that's why it took so long for me to feel better.
Either way, try to be kind to yourself. Even though it doesn't sound like your mom is being kind. I'm so sorry bud.
C25K...it works Seaside 5K...........40:45(2012) Turkey Trot..........41:30(2012)/37:08(2013)/37:40(2014) St Pat's 5K..........39:27(2013)/38:48(2014)/35:12(2015) Belair Town Run......38:09(2013)/36:27(2014) Back To Football 5K..37:36(2013)/43:44(2015) Balt Run Fest 5K.....34:59(2013)/41:50(2014)/35:54(2015)
Post by lauranicole91 on Oct 31, 2014 8:10:18 GMT -5
Oh skiesthelimit big hugs lady. I'm a so glad your mom was so sweet about it all. You deserved that day of rest. And I am so glad sleeping training is helping!
Please don't feel bad! Sleep deprivation is such a hard thing. You want to do everything you can for this tiny baby but sometimes you need a break. The body needs sleep in order to function! The military uses sleep deprivation as a war tactic for a reason. I'm so sorry you had a terrible experience in order to fix it but please don't feel bad about it. You were doing what you needed to do to take care of your baby. I'm so proud of you for sticking with bf for so long and fighting through it. I'm proud of you for realizing that you needed to make a change and you had the strength to ask for help. You are an amazing mom, never forget that.
A is still asleep and it's 9:13am, I'm too lazy to go wake him. I'm sure this is not helping him go to bed earlier at night. I fear he will be one of those teens that I need to drag out of bed.
Ugh. I had 3 kids who didn't finish their test yesterday. I freaking lost them. I have torn this place apart. They must have ended up in the trash or something. I will be bribing them with candy and extra points. Crappy teacher here
Post by skiesthelimit on Oct 31, 2014 8:15:01 GMT -5
Thanks guys. I wasn't going to post it but I think it was good for me to get it out, even if just on a forum. I know that there are other moms here dealing with crappy sleepers and I'm hoping this will help them in some way. I kept trugging along because, well, what else could I do? I just wish I had asked for help sooner.