Ugh. Aside from the fact that I feel like crap and on antibiotics, I had a date tonight. The guy who I thought was cheap TRachase. Well, he invited me out to dinner and then when the check came did the whole dance and split it thing.
Then we went for a drink, why I have no idea, and the waiter made me move my bag from a perfectly safe spot. Then a patron bumps into it and my bag with my computer in it falls to the ground. I lost my shit.
My computer is hopefully ok but we left and I goodbye to my date in a huff. He tried to be all, "don't let this ruin your night" dude don't tell me to pay for my expensive meal that I didn't choose and have my computer dropped and then not let my night suck.
I texted him when I got home that you don't invite someone out, pick the place, and then make them split the tab. This was after we went out for beers over the weekend and when I was hungry he suggested we split a burger (I thought at the time it was bc he wasn't hungry). Turns out he's just cheap.
The whole thing just pissed me off, and I feel like crap and had to cancel plans with les tomorrow I'm rambling but I'm annoyed. Sometimes I really feel like I'll be alone forever
what's worse is my mom had two drinks (she never drinks) and I told her what happened. She called me crying saying that she just wants me to meet someone good. Sigh. Me too. I did the whole cheerful thing. She's still hurting from XH
Post by starburst604 on Nov 19, 2014 21:50:20 GMT -5
Here's a laugh for you....
When you texted me that guy's Tinder pic, I was walking downstairs to T's office to say goodnight. I walked up to his desk and all I saw on his computer screen was a head shot of some guy and him typing in a message window. Took me a few seconds to realize he was messaging a Linkedin contact. He saw the weird, confused look on my face so I showed him how you had just texted me a Tinder pic then a second later I walked up to a dude's pic on his computer. He was like, so you thought I was cruising for dudes online? LOL. I don't know what I thought! We were dying laughing.
Aww..hugs. Sorry about the bag incident. And ugh! Cheapskates! I have no tolerance for that. It's one thing if you don't have $$ and another when your a cheap ass.
I'm sorry mcc I would have said to him "well if my computer is broken, I know you aren't going to help pay for a new one because you couldn't even buy my dinner! So I will be upset if I want!"
I'm sorry mcc I would have said to him "well if my computer is broken, I know you aren't going to help pay for a new one because you couldn't even buy my dinner! So I will be upset if I want!"
Seriously, I should have left over the weekend when he suggested be we split a burger at a quasi fast food place--I don't split $8 burgers! Or any burgers for that matter
I'm sorry mcc I would have said to him "well if my computer is broken, I know you aren't going to help pay for a new one because you couldn't even buy my dinner! So I will be upset if I want!"
Seriously, I should have left over the weekend when he suggested be we split a burger at a quasi fast food place--I don't split $8 burgers! Or any burgers for that matter
Did he split the cost of that too? Please do not tell me he made you pay $4!!
Post by pantsoffdanceoff on Nov 20, 2014 8:07:15 GMT -5
Can I just say that I'm impressed that you texted him afterwards and told him that his behavior was not okay! In this kind of situation I would probably just ignore all future texts, so good job!
I'm sorry mcc I would have said to him "well if my computer is broken, I know you aren't going to help pay for a new one because you couldn't even buy my dinner! So I will be upset if I want!"
Seriously, I should have left over the weekend when he suggested be we split a burger at a quasi fast food place--I don't split $8 burgers! Or any burgers for that matter
All I can think of is this and this is totally me too!Attachment Deleted
Seriously, I should have left over the weekend when he suggested be we split a burger at a quasi fast food place--I don't split $8 burgers! Or any burgers for that matter
Did he split the cost of that too? Please do not tell me he made you pay $4!!
No we didn't even go because he was all "it would be weird to split a burger" and I was too awkward on a first date to be all "I don't split burgers!" or "Are you that cheap?"
Did he split the cost of that too? Please do not tell me he made you pay $4!!
No we didn't even go because he was all "it would be weird to split a burger" and I was too awkward on a first date to be all "I don't split burgers!" or "Are you that cheap?"
Couldn't it be fun to just say what we think sometimes? The last guy I went out for coffee with invited me and when I got there he had already bought his coffee. And he fucking sat his ass in the chair and waited for me to get mine. I wanted to say ... Really dude? You're not going to buy me a fucking coffee? I'm outta here.
No we didn't even go because he was all "it would be weird to split a burger" and I was too awkward on a first date to be all "I don't split burgers!" or "Are you that cheap?"
Couldn't it be fun to just say what we think sometimes? The last guy I went out for coffee with invited me and when I got there he had already bought his coffee. And he fucking sat his ass in the chair and waited for me to get mine. I wanted to say ... Really dude? You're not going to buy me a fucking coffee? I'm outta here.
Couldn't it be fun to just say what we think sometimes? The last guy I went out for coffee with invited me and when I got there he had already bought his coffee. And he fucking sat his ass in the chair and waited for me to get mine. I wanted to say ... Really dude? You're not going to buy me a fucking coffee? I'm outta here.
OMG!! What an asshole!!
I might be the odd man out on this, but I don't see "asshole" in this. I've been on plenty of dates where I bought my own coffee/drink. Sometimes I even get to the place first so I can buy my own drink before he gets there. To me, it's more about having a small bit of time to talk and see if there's any connection. It's not about someone buying me stuff. Maybe I'm doing life wrong.
I might be the odd man out on this, but I don't see "asshole" in this. I've been on plenty of dates where I bought my own coffee/drink. Sometimes I even get to the place first so I can buy my own drink before he gets there. To me, it's more about having a small bit of time to talk and see if there's any connection. It's not about someone buying me stuff. Maybe I'm doing life wrong.
I agree. I bought my own coffee on my first date with my BF. Glad I didn't take issue with it! He's bought me plenty of drinks/dinners since then, and vice versa. This is not something I care about - as long as they don't expect ME to pay for everything, I'm good with going halfsies.
I am also firmly in the "don't offer to pay or split the check if you're not actually ok with doing so" camp. Not sure if the OP offered here or not.
I am also firmly in the "don't ask me to share my food" camp
I might be the odd man out on this, but I don't see "asshole" in this. I've been on plenty of dates where I bought my own coffee/drink. Sometimes I even get to the place first so I can buy my own drink before he gets there. To me, it's more about having a small bit of time to talk and see if there's any connection. It's not about someone buying me stuff. Maybe I'm doing life wrong.
Are you referring to the coffee or in general? I think coffee is different because it's not like you're going to stand around waiting for someone to get there so you can buy them a $2 coffee that you will likely end up walking around with anyway. Plus, it's a take out service typically and not a bar or waitress service where you'd both expect to be served at once. I wouldn't think that guy was an asshole. Coffee shops are typically crowded so it's completely sensible for him to sit and wait although it would have been nicer if he asked what she wanted and gotten it for her but whatever.
For food or drinks though, I think, at least at the beginning, that it should be that the person doing the inviting pays. If someone invites me to dinner ("would you like to go to dinner?" is an invite), picks the restaurant, then orders apps for the table or wine, then yes, they should pay. That was the expectation set by taking over the planning and ordering. I also expected him to stand up and say hello, perhaps even with a hug, when I arrived. It's out of respect for me and good dating etiquette, not about having people buy you stuff. If you allow not people to treat you with respect, then yeah, I'd say you're doing life wrong.
I might be the odd man out on this, but I don't see "asshole" in this. I've been on plenty of dates where I bought my own coffee/drink. Sometimes I even get to the place first so I can buy my own drink before he gets there. To me, it's more about having a small bit of time to talk and see if there's any connection. It's not about someone buying me stuff. Maybe I'm doing life wrong.
Whoever does the asking should do the paying in my opinion, it's not about people buying each other stuff it's just about being polite. And for that dude, the least he could have done was get off his ass and go wait in line with me. But hey, whatever works for you. This guy also showed he was el cheapo in the conversation too.