Pick a side: us vs. our neighbor

[shaynaatl]

Some of you may have seen my earliest post- my mom got into a car accident in our subdivision on the Friday before Thanksgiving.  She hit a brick retaining wall that we share with our neighbor, and ran into the neighbor's car.  Their car was an '02 Accord so it was totaled, despite having minimal damage.  Mom was driving our car (just for a quick errand), so our insurance has been handling the incident (in our state the accident is tied to the car owner, not the driver).

The neighbors are an elderly couple.  Their daughter also lives in the subdivision, and while we aren't close friends with her, we are friendly with her (we've even hung out at daughter's house a couple of times).

When the brick wall was damaged, it sent a bunch of broken bricks into their driveway.  Therefore, they are unable to use one side of the driveway. I asked GEICO about the brick repair, and they said we had to get a mason quote.  Thanksgiving week nobody was available, so the mason finally came out to perform a quote last week (we used the mason that the HOA President recommended).  I faxed it into GEICO, and they finally just approved it yesterday.  

Now the issue is the mason says he is backed up, so is not sure when he will get someone out to clean up the brick and repair the wall.  

Well the daughter of the neighbor has been sending us multiple complaints over text the last few days.  She is complaining that the brick is still there.  She expected that it would be cleaned up by now.  She has also told us multiple times that her parents have financial issues and the process of finding a new car has been causing them all stress.

We told her the brick repair has to be done through the insurance and mason.  We told her about the mason delay, and she texted that she still wants the clean-up to be done ASAP, even if the actual repair can't be done right now.

DH got pretty upset about her complaints last night and went out to Lowe's to buy a shovel, broom, and work gloves.  So last night after putting baby to bed, we spent about 30 min cleaning up the driveway.  We texted her that we did that, and she didn't say Thank You or anything. She just responded "Great!".  

I understand why she is upset about the totaled car and the brick damage.  But my feeling is that insurance is there for a reason, and everything should be done through them, even if it's inconvenient.  What do you think?  

[LoveTrains]

Neighborly thing to do is clean up the bricks.

[Deleted]

I think she's being bitchy. But I would also be super annoyed about broken bits of brick laying in my driveway for more than 4 hours. I would have cleaned it up myself while shooting you death glares for not at least helping.

[tine]

I can see both sides. There is nothing you can do about the insurance being slow but I still see why they're upset. I'm glad you and your H cleaned the bricks up to help the elderly couple. I think the daughter is out of line complaining to you. If anything, she should be on the phone with insurance.

[WOT?*]

I think she has a right to be upset. The repairs should be done through the mason but if he's not available for cleanup, how come you can't simply be a reasonable neighbor and clean up the mess you(r mom) made? They shouldn't be without use of their driveway (especially for an extended period of time like this) for something that was your (mother's) fault when it's a simple matter for you to walk out of your house and move a pile of debris.

[L]

I think the neighborly thing to do would have been to clean up the bricks yourself ASAP after the accident. She shouldn't have had to ask you to do this.

[Deleted]

The right thing to do would have been to clean up the bricks. I would have cleared it with insurance to do it right away after pictures were taken.

[Deleted]

I think you are correct about having the insurance handle thing, but cleaning up the bricks so they have access to the driveway needs to be done in a timely fashion. The repair can wait to go through the proper channels, but it cleaning up debris shouldn't have to wait on that.

[LoveTrains]

Dec 9, 2014 9:38:14 GMT -5 tine said:

I can see both sides. There is nothing you can do about the insurance being slow but I still see why they're upset. I'm glad you and your H cleaned the bricks up to help the elderly couple. I think the daughter is out of line complaining to you. If anything, she should be on the phone with insurance.

Oh hell no. There is no way that the daughter of the neighbor couple should be on the phone with the insurance. That is the job of OP, whose mother caused the accident. And since it is the mason who is backed up, I'm not seeing how calling the insurance is going to solve anything. 

Yes, the whole situation sucks. It was an accident. But as the adults who are responsible for the accident (OP and her H and her Mom), they should be the ones coordinating everything, and yes, that means potentially cleaning up some debris to be nice neighbors. The elderly neighbors and their daughter should graciously accept the apology and make nice and not hold a grudge for what was clearly a mistake. 

[Mimi]

team neighbor

[kadams767]

How many bricks were there?

I am with your neighbor, I'd be super annoyed not to be able to use my driveway for a week or more because my neighbor who caused the situation couldn't be bothered to take 30 minutes and clean it.

[ssmjlm]

Seriously, you left broken bricks just laying on their driveway? Take the time to shovel them up and throw them away. This has nothing to do with a mason re-doing the wall.

[Balki.Bartokomous]

You just let the bricks sit in their driveway for two weeks? Team neighbor. She gave you a week to clean it up before she started complaining which I think is more than fair.

Insurance is there to help with the big, costly things like repairing the car & wall. Further, I would have expected that the mason would only repair the wall, not clean up the driveway. Even if insurance had covered the cleanup, it's a small effort to keep the peace with people you have to live next to every day.

[bostonmichelle]

Team neighbor. After the pictures were taken for insurance purposes I would've been out there sweeping up and cleaning up the debris. I would be very annoyed if I was your neighbors about the debris sitting there for what sounds like a couple weeks.

[HoneySpider]

I'm with the neighbor on this one

[delawarejen]

Completely team your neighbors.

[raangoli]

Yeah, you should have cleaned up the bricks after any photos and the insurance had come out to survey the damage. That's the polite/neighborly thing to do. And if it only took 30 minutes, that means it wasn't that awful to do.

[whitemerlot]

I would have cleaned up the bricks up as soon as the insurance company had taken a look. Team neighbors all the way.

[nonsenseabound]

team neighbor. Especially when you learned that mason was backed up and it was going to be even longer. It's certainly the neighborly thing to clean up the mess when it's not the neighbor's fault. Especially where the neighbors are elderly and would have a hard time doing it themselves.

[UnderProtest]

Team neighbor. Your elderly neighbors should in no way be responsible for picking up the bricks.

[thatgirl2478]

Team neighbor.

Beside the fact that your neighbors shouldn't have to clean up your mess, and they shouldn't have to deal with the inconvenience of not being able to use half the drive way, and the fact that it's just a neighborly thing to do, there's no way I would expect insurance to pay for clean up on something like that unless we're talking several tons of bricks that pose a life threatening danger to the person cleaning them up.

[badgergrl]

Team neighbor. I'm not sure why you wouldn't have taken pictures and done it right away. It's not necessarily the masons job to clean up brick either. I'm not sure why you think its ok for your elderly neighbor to be unable to use part of their driveway for any length of time.

[badgergrl]

Also I thinks it strange aS a home owner you had to go buy a shovel broom and work gloves. I cant imagine why you didn't have those things.

[Deleted]

Why didn't the daughter just do it herself? You all seem pretty stubborn here over 30 mins of work. But if I had to pick a side, it would be your neighbors'.

[sicilygirl]

I'm with everyone else. Team neighbor. I would've been so embarrassed to just let it sit there all this time. I would've cleaned it up from the start.

[justjen]

Sorry, but Team Neighbor.

[ECB]

Yeah, I'm a little baffled as to why you didn't think to simply CLEAN UP the broken bricks. That has nothing to do w/ the mason fixing the wall.

Another Team Neighbor.

[sarahbear]

I'll just add to the team neighbor pile. You don't need a mason to clean up bricks. Yoh should have done that the very next day.

[hamster]

Why would it have been the mason's job? He didn't make the mess either.

[imojoebunny]

If all it took was a shovel and 30 minutes, you should have offered to do it long ago IMO. I just had my new neighbors tree fall on my house. She wasn't very nice. Didn't even say sorry or offer to do anything. A little effort goes a long way, and I can see where the daughter would be irritated. Had it been me, I would have paid someone to do it and sent you the bill.