I have GOT to buckle down and get some shit taken care of in my own financial world. I try to play it cool to every single person IRL, but holy hell it's stressful.
Oh I thought of some more updates. I still own a house in Mississippi because we couldn't sell it. Evicted my last tenant for nonpayment and we are now on our third roach treatment. I've been in the process to get approved for a short sale or DIL or some form of 'somebody take this house'. It's taken three months because they keep asking for more documents. Hopefully I will no longer be a homeowner in 2015.
SD had a partial intestinal blockage this summer and The Enema happened. She was with us for a week and we got the blockage cleared out. She was ok for a while but she's back to having more issues. Doc recommended probiotics, I didn't realize they hadn't tried that already. I mean...wouldn't that be step 1? I had to Amazon prime them to her house because her mom "meant to get them but forgot" for a month. She comes on Saturday so I'm looking forward to an update. If it doesn't work then she will have to do a total cleanse and I think they'll have to do some more invasive procedures
Hugs to so many of you guys. For the good and bad things.
I have a few updates:
I posted a lot earlier this year about our foster son (16). I posted that after a violent incident, he left our home in May. He is now living with a new foster family, and is doing great. He made the honor roll this year for the first time in his life, goes to counseling, and meshes well with the new family. He actually asked for them to adopt him, so that's exciting and we are super happy for him
There were so many underlying issues going on when he was with us, and even though I don't regret being able to help him, it affected me tremendously. Most of his issues were with me, and we butted heads a lot, so I've felt a mixture of guilt, relief, and guilt for feeling relief since he left. H has a great relationship with him now, and even though my relationship with him is a little awkward and shaky, it is improving. I am genuinely happy for him and am happy to still be somewhat involved in his life, but I'm also happy to be removed from a toxic situation and to have the opportunity to focus on/repair some of the damage that's been done.
We had to move to accommodate the requirements for foster care, and with him being gone, we were in kind of a tight situation money-wise. We redid our budget and majorly cut our spending, which was a challenge but served us well. H also was just offered a new job with a substantial pay upgrade, so that is really exciting. I'm still job searching but feel less pressure, and have seen a big increase in my freelance work. We found a fixer-upper house and are hoping to close in late January. It will be good to be in a new space with new energy and lots of potential. I'm looking forward to spending time fixing it up this year. I think it'll be a good thing!
We made plans to TTC in the spring, but will probably take some time to let things calm down this year. In the fall we will probably discuss it again.
Our marriage is also doing really well. We were thrown for a loop, but I feel like we're closer than ever now.
Overall it was a bumpy year, but everything worked out/is working itself out. So it's good. Life is good
Thanks to all who offered advice and encouragement this year. It meant a lot to me.
I don't think I posted about it, but H's job was a huge source of stress for us most of this year. He got a promotion in early spring, which was a bad fit from the start. They also relocated him to an office an hour away, rather than his home office 15 minutes away, for a supposedly short term project that ended up being extended indefinitely. He was essentially gone from 6am to 9pm every day, which meant I had to wrangle DD1 all on my own before and after my own FT job, while I was pregnant. That really frayed my nerves and I was getting really resentful. The promotion didn't even pay much more than he had been making; it was intended to be more of a stepping stone. And after all of that through the first half of the year, the company ended up laying him off at the start of fall, after making a very shady attempt to outright fire him for using FMLA after DD2 was born (long story). So now he's unemployed which is good in the sense that he's no longer in a mega-stressful toxic environment, but is bad because it came at the worst timing ever since I'm still on maternity leave. So money has definitely been tighter the past couple months. And I really hope he kicks himself into serious job hunting mode soon after the holidays because he's been so unfocused lately.
My mom had a major decompensation with regard to her dementia in June. She barely recognizes me and my brother, but can't recognize many other people including other family and long time friends. She can't do any activities of daily living without some degree of assistance. Even communicating is hard because her sorry term memory is so poor she can't remember the first half of a sentence by the time she gets to the second half. It's just so sad to see because she was always so sharp and on top of things.
3 years and counting since I cut my brother's wife out of my life! I don't miss her, but I do miss the relationship I had with my older nephew and niece.
But amidst all that we had the bright spot of DD2's arrival. She was early, and I failed at breastfeeding again, but I didn't let those things get me down like they did with DD1. Seeing DD2 smile at DD1 while DD1 tries to entertain her is really once of the best things ever.
DD2 kept 2014 from being labeled a bad year, but I'm definitely hoping for better and brighter in 2015.
Post by textbookcase on Dec 18, 2014 1:27:33 GMT -5
This time last year H and I were separated. I moved back in to the house in Jan or Feb. Things were better for awhile, but things are pretty much back to the same now. He won't go to counseling. Soooo...that's fun.
My brother has been in a rehab home for drugs and alcohol after a really, really bad year. He tried to commit suicide on a few occasions and his drug and alcohol abuse was completely out of hand. He's been in the home for about 4 or 5 months now and things are going great! It's a religious program, and he has kind of replaced his addictions with religion, in my opinion, but he seems SO much happier. I haven't seen him like this since he was a kid. We get to visit with him once a month and see him around town quite a bit. He should be in the home for a year or so, and then he's hoping to possibly get a job at the home or with the related church. His son is about to turn 14, and he's been really resistant to having any sort of relationship with him for the past 2 years, but he went to see him for the first time in a LONG time on Thanksgiving, so that's a huge step. So, all of that is awesome!
I wrote a post about it the other day, but my SIL had two "surprise" babies in 13 months and I'm still in shock over a nephew and a niece I had no idea were coming.
I know. She is such a champ though. She will walk in the door and lay on the couch in a ball and just say "I'll eat dinner soon, I just need a minute" And then she will get up and go on like normal. She barely complains. She is such a positive kid and she's handling it all like a boss.
Marriage is much better, but obviously with all of the crap this year it will take time to feel stable again. Dh has shown me that I really am his top priority, which is great.
Just had a CT scan today and will get the results on Friday. I plan to ask my doctor about my mood swings and weird anxious reactions, and my unpleasant reactions to alcohol. I miss drinkiiiiing!
Good luck with your results!
Can they check your adrenals? Or have they?
They took like 5 vials of blood yesterday. I know they expect my hormone levels to be whacked from chemo for up to a year post treatment, and they had to radiate my thyroid along with my tumours, so they check it as well. I'm thinking of asking for a hormone study if everything comes back normal. My levels were normal in August when my OB checked them.
Oh, derf. I forgot to add - I had surgery during my second tri to remove a tumor my obgyn had found during routine ultrasound. I ended up being followed by hematology/oncology for the remainder of my pregnancy. My labs were considered clean in September, and my scans showed they got everything.
I'm still going to be monitored every 6 months by hema/onco for the next few years, but it was all good news.
Wow textbookcase. Sounds like a roller coaster year. I am happy about your brother and nephew and niece.
I hope you find your way through your relationship with your H, it sounds tough. ((Hugs)) Are you taking care of yourself? Are you talking to someone? Sometimes that does more than couples counseling in helping you get strong and assess your relationship in a way that can make you happy.
Hugs to everyone going through shit. And wannabe I feel you. Omg do I ever. My little ones won't know that thus Christmas is LEAN, but my teen will and it's causing me tremendous anxiety, which I already drown in. Ugh. I dint know what to do. I have a week to figure out how I'm going to get presents with $0 Fuck it all.
Here are my updates. I'm sure you're on the edges of your seats.
I have not lost weight. I have gained weight. My adult acne is getting better, thanks to a derm visit. My cat is still scabby, but I still love her the most. Fried chicken sushi friend has stopped inviting me for sushi.
I have so much hope for a better new year. But, really, the stuff I've been dealing with is minor life stresses compared to some of the stuff a lot of you have been coping with.
iamali - you don't have to answer, I may be confused, but I thought you were single? or divorcing?
I'm sorry about your mom, but I think you have to find the energy to get out of that apt:( I feel like they owe you something, at this point. Maybe consult a lawyer?
I'm married, but we're currently separated and trying to make it work. I have my own place and H comes over often.
I was engaged. I am not engaged now. He and I had a long, long time together. He kept wanting to get married, I kept saying yes and changing my mind. Breaking up and getting back together constantly. I finally decided to let him go, which was the best for both of us.
I have been seeing a new guy now for about seven months and he is great. There are NO marriage plans in our future lol.
I was engaged. I am not engaged now. He and I had a long, long time together. He kept wanting to get married, I kept saying yes and changing my mind. Breaking up and getting back together constantly. I finally decided to let him go, which was the best for both of us.
I have been seeing a new guy now for about seven months and he is great. There are NO marriage plans in our future lol.
I'm sorry to hear that! I really wanted to see a gumball inspired wedding, lol. I'm glad to hear you're happy with your new guy now!!
I think I'm starting to actually realize that my relationship isn't going to go anywhere. We've been together almost 10 years, we've developed into different people and I don't think we are completely compatible anymore. I know he's depressed, he know's that he's depressed but won't do anything about it. He doesn't pick up after himself, he doesn't help around the house outside of yardwork and is pretty lax about that. I'm feeling like a mother / roommate more than a girlfriend and I've seen evidence that things won't actually change. We've talked about these things before and things change for the remainder of the week but never long term. He has issues with my sex drive, I don't want to have sex every single day. I don't want to be fondled everytime I get in to bed or everytime he gets in bed and I think that the constant pushing to have sex or let him fondle me decreases my desire to do anything, anytime. I know what I need to do but it's hard to destroy a 10 year relationship with someone that is seemingly still in love with me.
We still have Lucy. We reintroduced her to SS last night and she was crying and whining with happiness. G still isn't allowed around her much, but they have had supervised interactions in which she cried and whined with happiness and wouldn't stop licking his face.
We are still taking it day to day but she isn't going anywhere.
Are you getting her training to deal with her biting? How is your nephew doing? (was it nephew? The 19 year old)
Yes. We had a trainer come to the house and he couldn't get her to react at all other than to be submissive. He is totally puzzled about the whole thing and suggested that my nephew frightened her or reminded her of someone from her past. My nephew is doing great. He wants to "make her his friend" but that's not going to happen.
Post by deanlicker78 on Dec 18, 2014 13:18:23 GMT -5
I got to run my first half marathon this year in a minute/mile faster pace than I had aimed for. I have kept the weight I lost off for another year. I also did my third Tough Mudder, and signed up for a fourth.
H and I were separating at the beginning of the year because of his issues with drinking. He has improved greatly, though not without some bumps in the road. Things are better than a year ago, but not great.
I started a second job in June. I loved my job but hated where I worked. At my regular job, I loved where I worked but not my job. This morning my boss at my regular job offered me a step up in position with a pay raise and an increase in benefits. Which means I will be doing less of the crap I hated, and can hire someone else to do it. I can also now afford to quit my second job.
SS is still a challenge. They recently did a genetic test for medication compatibility. The results came back and we've switched one of his meds based on the results and should know in a few weeks if it helps or not. If it doesnt...Idk for sure what direction we will go. The stress of dealing with SS has been a tough issue for H and I. It has contributed greatly to problems in our marriage, it's also a trigger for H's drinking. I'm hoping 2015 is SS's year. Mental illness can fuck off.