And we had talked about Christmas plans and I asked him about seeing his mom and he got all pissy about why I "was so obsessed with seeing his mom" And I'm like, Uh, okay. So last night he said he had to get her gift for Saturday. Because don't I remember, we're going there for breakfast? It was my idea. WTF. no, I never asked about seeing your mom again after you had your fit.
Yes, and it's always about stupid stuff that causes an inconvenience.
I can't tell you how many times over the weekend he took my water glass off of the dining room table, kitchen island, or coffee table, dumped it, then put it into the sink. (Already full of dirty dishes, which he hadn't loaded into the dishwasher.) Each time, I politely told him to ask me before dumping my damn drink. Friday, he even dumped my Diet Coke from Wendy's. I rarely drink soda, so this was a huge treat. I saw him about to do it, and was telling him "no, don't dump my drink", and he was all "one sec, I'm busy". He dumped it was I was telling him not to, then turned around all "what were you saying?"
AND YOU LET HIM LIVE?
The amount of rage that would go through me if my H did this would be immeasurable.
I was waiting to read...'and I tackled him to the ground, beating him to death & I need help hiding the body ML.'
We both do this from time to time. Usually not with stuff that's been said several times, but if it's said once or twice it's totally game to be forgotten.
Not kidding - on Saturday I sat waiting in the food court at Target for an HOUR because we split up so he could buy me stocking stuffers, and he thought we were meeting at the food court near the ice rink. I thought he said something about ice cream and told him we should meet at the place where they sell food (and presumably ice cream? IDK) inside of Target. He had forgotten his cell phone at home so I was just patiently assuming he was stuck in a long line while he patiently assumed I was busy shopping somewhere and we both sat in different places for an hour waiting for the other person. ETA: this probably makes more sense if I mention that our Target is at a mall with an ice rink and a regular food court.
Unfortunately both of us failed to listen/understand what the other said so we both messed it up. At least nobody was mad lol.
More often what happens is I think things and forget to actually tell him.
Sometimes we will each forget. I tend to forget details but know I should know something, so I will ask again which doesn't seem to annoy him like "I am supposed to go somewhere with you Sat?"
Post by lyssbobiss, Command, B613 on Dec 22, 2014 12:13:08 GMT -5
Yup. I can mention something 7 times, put it in the shared calendar, send him a calendar invite to the event WHICH HE ACCEPTS and he will still look at me with a blank stare when I bring it up like "what are you talking about."
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
I think my H like blacks out temporarily sometimes. We'll have a conversation and he will not remember it at all. I'll remember it very vividly and say something like "You were driving and we were passing the fake cow on highway 123. We were coming home from church and you were wearing your dark purple shirt and khakis. I sad ABC and you replied XYZ. Remember? It was the day we ate the lamb roast for lunch?"
Post by rachelberry on Dec 22, 2014 12:56:45 GMT -5
This just happened to us this morning. I made enchiladas last night. While I was packing them up in 2 separate containers, I was talking about how I love enchiladas reheated and was looking forward to having them at work today.
This morning? I go to pack my lunch and BOTH containers of enchiladas were gone. I called him and asked whereTF my enchiladas are and he was like "uh, I didnt think you wanted them?"
DH did this to me last night re: Christmas planning.
DottyBlue: "Since I'm barely going to see my sisters over break, let's make sure we head to my family's house right after DS's nap on Christmas day." DH: ::deer in headlights look:: DottyBlue: "What? DID YOU TELL YOUR PARENTS WE WOULD BE AROUND ALL DAY WHEN WE DISCUSSED SPLITTING THE DAY!?" DH: "Noooo. But... We're going to leave and take our presents with us?" DottyBlue: "um, yeah. Like we always do" DH: "Well, that's kind of rude"
Come to find out, he wasn't listening to me and missed the "after DS's nap". He thought I was suggesting we leave at 7 a.m. when DS woke up for the day and take all the presents from his family for us, still fully wrapped, to my family's house. LOL. Yes dear, that's exactly what I'm suggesting (WTF?)... ^o)
I've been talking about having this entire week off for the last two months. All last week and over the weekend, I've been talking about my plans for this week. This morning, we asked his parents to watch the girls on Tuesday.
Tonight, as we were getting ready for bed, I mentioned something about going to my mom,s tomorrow to make cookies (for the hundredth time!), and he was like, "wait, you're off tomorrow?"
Blink, blink.
H has what I call selective listening. He only hears what he wants to hear and what benefits him.
Ugh, yes. I just told him not to feed the dogs cheese crackers and he was like "oh, ok". 30 seconds later I heard him telling the dog to sit and a cracker falling to the floor. Wtf?
I've been talking about having this entire week off for the last two months. All last week and over the weekend, I've been talking about my plans for this week. This morning, we asked his parents to watch the girls on Tuesday.
Tonight, as we were getting ready for bed, I mentioned something about going to my mom,s tomorrow to make cookies (for the hundredth time!), and he was like, "wait, you're off tomorrow?"
Blink, blink.
H has what I call selective listening. He only hears what he wants to hear and what benefits him.
Yes! And he thinks he has a great memory and never forgets anything! I shared this picture on Facebook, but I'm sure he didn't know that it was meant for him:
H does not register a lot of what I say. If he isn't looking directly at me when answering me I assume he is just saying whatever to get me to stop talking (sounds amazing, huh?). I can't even trust that he has heard me if he IS looking directly at me. If it is very important I have him repeat it back to me or send him a calendar entry. A good number of our fights have revolved around me telling him something well in advance, bringing it up several times and then the day before or the day of he will get his back up and say I "sprung it" on him.
*Tide commercial on tv* H: Stain movie technology?? What? Me: Stain REMOVING.
...
Me: I picked up blah blah gift for your mom to give to your dad. H: so we're giving Dad two gifts? Me: No... it's for your MOM to give your dad. H: Huh?? Me: I bought it for her to give to him. And she will pay me back. H: ....
I honestly don't know if it's a hearing problem or a comprehension problem.