Here's the flameful - How in the hell do they suddenly have all of this money? and...I really hope he dies soon.
Your sister is really going to appreciate your support during her time of loss. You sound like a wonderful sister. For fucking real. Reread that last fucking line.
This made me really laugh. I was walking around Kohls looking for the maternity section. After two trips around the store, I couldn't find it, so I asked one of the cashiers - a 20 something guy.
Me : (slightly out of breath) Hi, do you know where the maternity section is?
Him: You can find some pieces in the clearance but we don't have a whole maternity section.
Me : (handing over other stuff to bill) Oh, ok. I don't want to sort through the clearance rack now. So another time then.
Him :: You're tired huh? You shouldn't walk so much when you're pregnant.
Me, a little wtf : Oh I walked around the store couple of times because I couldn't find the maternity section.
Him : Right. But it's not just that. When you're pregnant, your center of gravity shifts and you put more strain on your feet and back. It makes you tired. You should probably walk 15 minutes at a time. Not more than that.
Me: (With a completely straight face but dying laughing inside) I DID NOT KNOW THAT AT ALL. Thank you for the pregnancy tips.
Him : Sure, anytime.
LOLOLOL. OMG, how did he even think for one second that he was qualified to give me pregnancy advice??? It was too funny. Ah, some people!!
Post by littlepeanut on Dec 26, 2014 21:18:56 GMT -5
My FIL showed up at our house yesterday at 11:30 when we told him to come over after 3:00. I was un-showered and bra-less. I took my sweet ass time getting ready so H had to entertain him.
My mom just left after being here for 6 days. She has some serious issues with food and she pulled some crazy stunts this visit. For instance I brought home a Harry and David gift basket from work for us all to enjoy and she took two food items and hid them in her luggage so only SHE could enjoy them. She claims to have a "wheat allergy" and makes a huge fuss over it all the time. The two items didn't have wheat so she hid them so they "would last". WTF, I only realized the items were missing when I asked if "x" was all gone and she told me she hid it.
She also told DH is some random conversation that the Salem witch trials were due to the women being gluten intolerant and it affecting their moods. The woman is bonkers.
My parents write a Christmas letter every year and it includes details on my 4 sisters, me & our families. Every year something changes in my or H's lives they get it wrong. Every time. I talk to my parents once a week and see them every 6-8 weeks so there is no excuse to get all my 4 sisters' info right and mine wrong. I know it's petty but ugh it's so annoying.
My parents write a Christmas letter every year and it includes details on my 4 sisters, me & our families. Every year something changes in my or H's lives they get it wrong. Every time. I talk to my parents once a week and see them every 6-8 weeks so there is no excuse to get all my 4 sisters' info right and mine wrong. I know it's petty but ugh it's so annoying.
A few years back I quit my cool job in Foreign Country A, got a masters degree in Foreign Country B and moved to Foreign Country C. You know how many sentences I got in the Christmas newsletter?
Three. I got 3 sentences.
Meanwhile my parents favorite child got multiple paragraphs on her wedding and house that she started building, which is not ready to this day.
If you're not going to give a shit about one of your kids just come out and say it to their face. Don't make them figure it out via letter that's sent out to everyone you know.
My parents write a Christmas letter every year and it includes details on my 4 sisters, me & our families. Every year something changes in my or H's lives they get it wrong. Every time. I talk to my parents once a week and see them every 6-8 weeks so there is no excuse to get all my 4 sisters' info right and mine wrong. I know it's petty but ugh it's so annoying.
I'm pretty sure this has to do with having too many kids to keep track of (although if you're the only one it affects that kinda sucks).. I have 4 siblings as well and this year is one of the only times I can remember when my dad got stuff about my life right, and actually managed to phrase everything nicely seeing as my H and I separated and I moved etc but we did spend a lot of time together this year. I know one of my sisters said he had got something wrong in their paragraph and I noticed he spelled my nieces name wrong about 3 times when I read the whole thing lol.
I don't even speak to my parents once a week because I have one very high maintenance older sister and another who is very unwell and those two seem to get the majority of the small amount of time they seem to have..
I'm not cut out to be a mom and I think I made a mistake. And he will be an only child despite my always wanting 2 or none at all and dh's desire for more. Not looking for reassurance or hair pats, just needed to get that out.
Post by jeaniebueller on Dec 27, 2014 11:29:38 GMT -5
Oh fasthands, try not to be hard on yourself. The first year of parenthood is a mind fuck. I felt like I made a mistake with DS until he was like 6 months old. It's a huge change.
I'm not cut out to be a mom and I think I made a mistake. And he will be an only child despite my always wanting 2 or none at all and dh's desire for more. Not looking for reassurance or hair pats, just needed to get that out.
I have always been one of those people that things just come naturally to. I did really well in school without all that much effort, I test well, I make friends easily, I am a model employee.
Parenthood is the first thing I've tried that I just... am not that good at. It doesn't come naturally. I feel lost and helpless on the regular. I used to hate when people would tell me to "just trust my instincts" because I... didn't have any instincts in this regard. My 3 year old actually made me cry at a xmas party we went to last weekend.
It's funny though-- as hard as I am on myself, my kids still look at me like I hung the moon.
There is no single correct way to be a parent. Your way may not look the same way as everyone else's, but you will find a way to be more comfortable in the role. You don't have to have more children, and you don't have to decide right now either way.
Post by underwaterrhymes on Dec 27, 2014 11:35:59 GMT -5
FastHands, it takes a long time before you start feeling comfortable. Being a parent is hard. Some things get so much easier (and some things don't) but please cut yourself some slack.
I had to have a serious conversation with H when K was about your LO's age. I told him it was okay to miss our old life. He cried because he had been and he felt guilty about it.
But I was right. It is okay to wonder WTF you've done and to miss the freedoms you had. It's okay to not be sure you're doing things right. We all experience it. Truly.
After hosting my family for the past week I just got a lovely text from my mom letting me know she was mad at me for going to lunch yesterday with H's siblings and not letting her know. No "thanks for the hospitality over the past several day" thanks for dinner" "thanks for the gifts" (even though they didn't get us any) just a shitty text.
Post by pittsmcgee on Dec 27, 2014 17:27:23 GMT -5
FastHands, hang in there. I was also not cut out to be a mother, but it truly gets easier and easier.
I have been wearing stretch pants or leggings since Tuesday and I've pretty much been on the couch eating since Thursday night. I told my H to put the scale somewhere that I can't find it.
I couldn't take it anymore and he had to go. minutes after I deleted him, he tried to add me back. I ignored. Today he tried to add me back again and messaged me asking what's up. I let it allll out. It won't matter because he'll just sit there saying "you don't even know. We have a CONNECTION". Dude, connect my foot to your ass because we are fucking done as family.
That is a very interesting observation! One of my nephews is on the spectrum and he had a relationship with a woman my age after talking with her over the internet for years.
He is back living with his parents now, though.
A friend of mine on the spectrum said that women who are a little older are more accepting & can see past his behaviors that seem "strange" to others.
I mentioned him possibly being on the spectrum to my mom but she's too close to look at this objectively.
Post by marylennox on Dec 27, 2014 19:57:10 GMT -5
I don't understand needing to give your kids so many christmas presents that you go broke doing it. Buying so many toys that you can't pay your bills and are making payments on christmas purchases for months following. I feel like I know too many people who do this every year. I have never understood it and don't think I ever will.
My mom always made my Christmas mornings amazing. She wore the same shoes for 4 years we were so poor. But you should see the pics of me on Christmas morning.
It wasn't a smart decision - but it was an emotional one. I have grown up to be the opposite of that however.
I get it. To say you don't is kind of holier than thou.
That is the difference between my family and BF's. We tend to all give each other (kids included) one or two nice things. Between all of the family members, it adds up to more than enough IMO. BF's family all buys each other at least 4-5 things, and the piles of each of the kids' presents was taller than me, seriously. And they will be paying off the credit card for months.
I'd say our families have the same average income, so IDK how to explain it. Just different traditions, I guess.
My mom always made my Christmas mornings amazing. She wore the same shoes for 4 years we were so poor. But you should see the pics of me on Christmas morning.
It wasn't a smart decision - but it was an emotional one. I have grown up to be the opposite of that however.
I get it. To say you don't is kind of holier than thou.
It's not my intention to sound holier than thou, at all. And I do see Lucy's point. I have always had trouble understanding people spending money they don't have when it's not a necessity. I mean these kids have piles and piles of presents - I think they would be happy with one third of it, and to me it almost seems overwhelming for them - and their parents are skipping on bills because of it. I just personally don't see why it's necessary.
I don't understand needing to give your kids so many christmas presents that you go broke doing it. Buying so many toys that you can't pay your bills and are making payments on christmas purchases for months following. I feel like I know too many people who do this every year. I have never understood it and don't think I ever will.
Really? I understand this a bit. I think sometimes people who don't have a lot, who didn't grow up with much, can sometimes overcompensate and try to make up for the things they feel they or their children have lacked. I don't think it's wise, obviously, but I can see the impetus behind it.
We had my side of the family Christmas today at my gram's aaaannnnd my mom showed up drunk. Like, obnoxious, loud slurring, thinks everything is funny, hang all over my kids drunk. I saw red you guys. This is the exact behavior I DO NOT want them exposed to. This kind of behavior is the reason I get instantly, and insanely pissed when I hear anyone luring their speak. HATE it. The kids didn't seem to notice other than being annoyed about her demanding hugs and kisses. DS told her no and she said "well I want them so I'm going to get them because I WANT them" he ran off.
I mostly tried to avoid her and run interference with the kids and we left as soon as dinner was done. I'm annoyed that not a single person in my family even acknowledged it. They see her all the time and I'm guessing this is the norm for her but everyone just accepts it.
I vastly prefer ds2 to ds1 right now. Ds1 seems to be coming off of the holidays in a royal snit. Which is awesome, because we are going on vacation next week with my whole family, including my step-sister and her two perfectly-behaved, perfectly-mannered, perfectly-perfect children.