I would not attend any wedding where my H was required to wear a bow tie.
Hill to die on = found.
Yeah, that is weirding me out! lol. H HATES bow ties. I love them, I just bought one for David last week. I just think it's so odd to tell guests to wear that. H would do it, I'm sure but come on! It's weird.
You know what you're getting into when you accept an invite to a black tie event. Asking men to wear bow ties is basically asking them to serve as props in your wedding photos. Yuck.
I would not attend any wedding where my H was required to wear a bow tie.
Hill to die on = found.
My husband just ... wouldn't. I know him. He wouldn't wear a regular tie to thumb his nose at them, but he wouldn't wear a bow tie either. He'd go tieless and would honey badger anyone who said a word.
Eta: as a guest. I feel compelled to make this clarification.
Post by RoxMonster on Jan 16, 2015 19:18:22 GMT -5
I would be annoyed with them dictating what guests should wear. I have never been to a wedding where the bride and groom told the guests to wear a specific item of clothing. If it's a really small wedding and the groom wants a picture with all the men wearing bow ties, if they are really as cheap as people are saying the are, why can't the groom buy a bunch in fun colors, hand them out the night of the wedding, and ask the male guests if they'd mind putting one on just to take a picture?
The skiing comment would bother me because it doesn't come across as joking to me; I have a feeling she was serious, and as a grown adult who manages to show up for a job every single day on time, I don't like being told how to manage my time.
The taxi thing I think is not the bride's fault. You were offered a place to stay in the house, and while I also wouldn't want to room-share with strangers, I wouldn't be upset that that, in turn, meant I didn't have a parking spot. But yeah the other stuff is annoying.
They should have chartered a bus to take guests to and from.
It sounds like most of the guests are staying at the house where the wedding is taking place, and that the OP and her husband were offered a place to stay there. Not an ideal setup, but it was available none the less.
No, there's room for about half the wedding party, so maybe 4 people besides my friend and his fiancée. All the other guests are staying in hotels or condos and will be on their own for transportation.
Sheesh, I'm annoyed and I'm not even invited. And I'm shocked at the breezy, "You're being uptight" responses. The bride is telling people to wear BOW TIES, for pete's sake. Brides would be well advised to only invite people who can dress themselves and tell time to their weddings. She doesn't get to give permission to let people ski. And brides who require a particular hairstyle should be paying for the damn hairdresser. The parking thing is also annoying, but probably not the bride's fault. Except that the couple knew this going in, and could easily have arranged some kind of local shuttle. I keep scrolling up to find new things to be annoyed about. I better stop now. You are not being unreasonable, OP.
Thank you! I have no issue with being told that the wedding is formal attire or something like that, but H doesn't own a freaking bow tie. He had to go buy one and he's not in the damn wedding.
I also wouldn't have a problem with the skiing thing, except she worded it in such a way that she was clearly like *sigh, I guess people can ski, but they better not be late!*
And there was originally talk of doing a shuttle, but they decided it was too expensive. So, I guess they're just passing that expense on to all of their guests, minus the 4 people staying at the house with them (which isn't even the entire wedding party.
The hair thing I'm kind of meh about, but I thought it was weird she made it a requirement and didn't even offer to help pay for it.
The only thing that's questionable to me is the bow tie thing - I think trying to dictate guest attire is tacky. Everything else is fine, IMO. You turned down staying with everyone else so that decision is on you.
Are black tie weddings tacky then?
You there are tuxedos that don't have bow ties right? We just went to a black tie wedding and DH didn't wear a bow tie. He HATES them.
It sounds like most of the guests are staying at the house where the wedding is taking place, and that the OP and her husband were offered a place to stay there. Not an ideal setup, but it was available none the less.
No, there's room for about half the wedding party, so maybe 4 people besides my friend and his fiancée. All the other guests are staying in hotels or condos and will be on their own for transportation.
No, there's room for about half the wedding party, so maybe 4 people besides my friend and his fiancée. All the other guests are staying in hotels or condos and will be on their own for transportation.
You mean like, every other day of their lives?
But they'll be wearing BOW TIES. That's hardly like every other day and should therefore not have to worry about their own transportation.
I would not attend any wedding where my H was required to wear a bow tie.
Hill to die on = found.
My husband just ... wouldn't. I know him. He wouldn't wear a regular tie to thumb his nose at them, but he wouldn't wear a bow tie either. He'd go tieless and would honey badger anyone who said a word.
This is what H wanted to do. Actually, he told me he was going to tie a regular tie in a bow around his neck. Lol
Also, I will not be going door to door looking for parking, just in case anyone was concerned about that.
No, there's room for about half the wedding party, so maybe 4 people besides my friend and his fiancée. All the other guests are staying in hotels or condos and will be on their own for transportation.
You mean like, every other day of their lives?
Sure, except I don't take cabs in my everyday life.
I think the whole thing is pretty tacky with the parking issue being the least so. I'm pretty surprised that so many people here thing that telling people what to wear and requiring your bridesmaids to have professional services is a-okay.
ETA: So no, I don't think you're being uptight.
In just about every wedding I've ever been in (and thanks to the evil of sororities I've been in quite a few) we've all had our hair professionally done and we've paid our own way.
In just about every wedding I've ever been in (and thanks to the evil of sororities I've been in quite a few) we've all had our hair professionally done and we've paid our own way.
I only have problem with brides *requiring* that hair be done professionally. I also don't have a problem with people having to pay thier own way.
I do have a problem with telling guests what you wear (unless you're providing the attire).
The bowtie thing is precious as fuck, I'll give you that.
I only have problem with brides *requiring* that hair be done professionally. I also don't have a problem with people having to pay thier own way.
I do have a problem with telling guests what you wear (unless you're providing the attire).
The bowtie thing is precious as fuck, I'll give you that.
Maybe I really am a naive, breezy fool, but if I was invited to and attending a wedding with only 30 guests, I'm probably pretty damn close to either the bride, groom or both. I'd imagine most of the guests to this wedding know the couple pretty well and would think the bow tie thing is cute or really fitting of the couple or whatever. Thinking of these select few people in my life, I'd wear a paper sack to their wedding if they really wanted me to. I'd have no problem coming up with a guest list of 30 (or 15, really) people closest to me and DH who would willingly wear a bow tie or some other small, whimsical token item like a hat or something, for one night to make us happy and have some fun. It's not really the same to me as asking a huge reception hall full of 200 guests to wear whatever I tell them.
Dude, one of your best friends is getting married. Just go with the flow, enjoy yourselves. let the etiquette things go, and stop tallying up all the little irritations.
Well said. I think the OP is sounding pretty uptight. Go with the flow and have fun
Are you not the biggest fan of the bride? That's the only reason I can see why this is all bothering you so much.
We had a DW in Vegas with 30 people and everyone took a cab to the chapel. We did get a shuttle from the chapel to the reception site, but after that, they were on their own again. Now I wonder if people were judging.
I assume you know other people attending? Can you meet up at the grocery store and share a cab?
I don't understand why the bride is getting all the blame here. Surely, your friend is aware of the parking situation? And the bow ties? And the gift requests?
If I'd wanted 15 or so men to wear bow ties, I probably would have bought them but I don't really see the offense in asking a close group of friends to do something small like that. I think you need to unclench about the parking. Have a glass of wine and enjoy the trip!
Are you not the biggest fan of the bride? That's the only reason I can see why this is all bothering you so much.
We had a DW in Vegas with 30 people and everyone took a cab to the chapel. We did get a shuttle from the chapel to the reception site, but after that, they were on their own again. Now I wonder if people were judging.
I assume you know other people attending? Can you meet up at the grocery store and share a cab?
Based on what I've learned on ML, people were definitely judging you for something.
Post by adhdfashion on Jan 17, 2015 13:33:54 GMT -5
I have worn a vintage hat and fascinater. To weddings at the brides request. Dressing for a wedding is never free and doesn't bother me in the slightest. The lack of on site parking is crappy. Paying for hair is normal. Weddings are a pain in the ass for the bridal party. It's just what we do for our friends.
If it had been my wedding, I would have double checked parking/transport for my wedding party. They typically pay for a lot along the way, so it makes sense to me that having them at the main event would be as hassle free and inexpensive as possible (fwiw I had a bridesmaid fly in from London. While she covered the plane tix, I covered evrything else from dress to airport transport to hotel/food while she was stateside; for other bridesmaids, they picked the dress, any black heels were fine and hair/makeup was up to them, believe I kept it pretty easy ). So I can see why the taxi and general tone is irritating. But the reality is it is almost always a PITA to be part of the wedding party. Enjoy the day, bite the tongue, and celebrate with your friends.
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