I think I've posted about this before, but I'm pretty annoyed right now.
A very good friend, best friend even, is getting married this weekend. They are doing a "low-key" thing in a destination spot and there are about 30 guests. I am standing on his side, so I have done all the traditional bridesmaid things, including buying the dress, alterations, paying to have my hair done (this was a requirement from the bride), etc.
They chose a VRBO house as the venue, so there's some extra rooms. They offered to let us stay there, but it would have been in a room with multiple beds and other people staying in the room. I was not at all interested in bunking with a bunch of random people (primarily her bridesmaids, who I don't know), so H booked a condo for us. No big deal, we're fine with it.
The problem I have, is that there is zero parking available at the house for anyone not staying there. We have to take a cab to and from the house tonight, to and from the house tomorrow night, and probably at least one one-way trip tomorrow afternoon for me so that I can be there to get my hair done and for pictures. I think we're talking about a minimum of $70 total.
On top of that, they've sent out several emails with specifics about the weekend. Highlights include all men being required to wear bow ties and suits. Yes, guests, not just groomsmen. People are "allowed" to go skiing the day of, but better be back in time for the ceremony. A "request" that people not bring any gifts to the wedding and instead have them shipped to the addresses on file (one is for pre-wedding, the other is post- so that nothing is taken while they are on their honeymoon). And, of course, the bit about everyone being required to use the local taxi service for the rehearsal dinner tonight and wedding tomorrow.
I just feel like they are breaking so many etiquette rules and I'm annoyed by all of it. I was super breezy about our wedding, so I think this is coloring my take on everything. Being forced to take a cab back and forth when we will have our car is just icing on the cake right now.
Feel free to tell me to shut it and be happy for them. I really am trying. Or, maybe commiserate that I'm not crazy for thinking they're being a little demanding.
The parking thing is annoying, but not really their fault. Now if they were making everyone chip in for a party limo just for fun, I'd say forget them. But if there is no parking, well, there is no parking.
There are definitely several things that you mentioned that would annoy me. Especially I can't imagine picking a venue that didn't have parking for my guests.
Post by EmilieMadison on Jan 16, 2015 17:44:48 GMT -5
Ask someone staying at the house to pick you up since you can't park there. Then you may only need to take a cab back to where you're staying instead of both ways. I dont see a problem with them asking their guests to wear suits and ties, or for letting people know that skiing is an option but to keep time in mind for the day of the wedding.
Ask someone staying at the house to pick you up since you can't park there. Then you may only need to take a cab back to where you're staying instead of both ways. I dont see a problem with them asking their guests to wear suits and ties, or for letting people know that skiing is an option but to keep time in mind for the day of the wedding.
I did ask about someone picking us up from the grocery store parking lot where some people staying at the house are parking. He told me we had to take a cab.
Post by EmilieMadison on Jan 16, 2015 17:47:18 GMT -5
Also, have them find out if there are daily parking permits available for the house. Our neighbors do a lot weddings at their house through VRBO and guests can park in their driveway, but there is no street parking for guests (permit only). BUT, our city has daily permits that owners can purchase and give to guests. See if this is an option.
Also, have them find out if there are daily parking permits available for the house. Our neighbors do a lot weddings at their house through VRBO and guests can park in their driveway, but there is no street parking for guests (permit only). BUT, our city has daily permits that owners can purchase and give to guests. See if this is an option.
The wedding is tomorrow, so I think it's a little late for that. Good suggestion though. Wish I had thought about it earlier.
Ask someone staying at the house to pick you up since you can't park there. Then you may only need to take a cab back to where you're staying instead of both ways. I dont see a problem with them asking their guests to wear suits and ties, or for letting people know that skiing is an option but to keep time in mind for the day of the wedding.
I did ask about someone picking us up from the grocery store parking lot where some people staying at the house are parking. He told me we had to take a cab.
So ask someone else staying there? I mean, 30 guests total, SOMEONE is probably willing to pick you up out of the kindness of their heart. Or share a cab with the other people parking off site.
The parking thing is annoying but the rest is not worthy of a second thought. IDK what a VRBO house is but is there any public parking within walking distance of this VRBO thing?
Yeah, that's all pretty tacky. I actually think the parking thing is the least tacky, though if there was room for you to stay at the house and park there, I don't understand why now there isn't room for you to park? Did someone else take your place or what would have happened to your car if you had wanted to bunk with everyone else?
The skiing thing is irritating because really, you don't have to tell people that they should plan their day around attending the wedding. I think they could have figured out that part by themselves
They should have chartered a bus to take guests to and from.
It sounds like most of the guests are staying at the house where the wedding is taking place, and that the OP and her husband were offered a place to stay there. Not an ideal setup, but it was available none the less.
They should have chartered a bus to take guests to and from.
It sounds like most of the guests are staying at the house where the wedding is taking place, and that the OP and her husband were offered a place to stay there. Not an ideal setup, but it was available none the less.
This is what I'm stuck on. The car thing doesn't really bother me. Annoying but it happens. The bow ties for the guests, though...it's not a theater production.
Post by MixedBerryJam on Jan 16, 2015 18:03:57 GMT -5
Sheesh, I'm annoyed and I'm not even invited. And I'm shocked at the breezy, "You're being uptight" responses. The bride is telling people to wear BOW TIES, for pete's sake. Brides would be well advised to only invite people who can dress themselves and tell time to their weddings. She doesn't get to give permission to let people ski. And brides who require a particular hairstyle should be paying for the damn hairdresser. The parking thing is also annoying, but probably not the bride's fault. Except that the couple knew this going in, and could easily have arranged some kind of local shuttle. I keep scrolling up to find new things to be annoyed about. I better stop now. You are not being unreasonable, OP.
Post by vanillacourage on Jan 16, 2015 18:09:18 GMT -5
The only thing that's questionable to me is the bow tie thing - I think trying to dictate guest attire is tacky. Everything else is fine, IMO. You turned down staying with everyone else so that decision is on you.
The only thing that's questionable to me is the bow tie thing - I think trying to dictate guest attire is tacky. Everything else is fine, IMO. You turned down staying with everyone else so that decision is on you.
- being required to have your hair done and pay for it - guests being "required" to wear suits and bow ties - guests being told to keep an eye on the time, because adults should be able to schedule accordingly - mention of gifts on the invitation
Keep in mind that I've been told that I have a stick up my ass.
The only thing that's questionable to me is the bow tie thing - I think trying to dictate guest attire is tacky. Everything else is fine, IMO. You turned down staying with everyone else so that decision is on you.
Are black tie weddings tacky then?
I should have been more specific.
You know what you're getting into when you accept an invite to a black tie event. Asking men to wear bow ties is basically asking them to serve as props in your wedding photos. Yuck.