I, too, would love to be a trophy wife. Instead I am the higher paid in the marriage. Apparently I took a wrong turn somewhere. I should have been headed to a "quaint tech town" (wtf is that?) and finding some dude who can't say no to me.
Maybe if you cooked beautiful meals and promoted tranquility....?
Im going to take a guess and say that since he was ok with her quitting but she'd have to find something else quickly--the answer to that question would be hell no.
Post by phdprocrastinator on Jan 29, 2015 12:42:04 GMT -5
I once knew someone (through a friend) who was a stay at home girlfriend. In her case, she was hard of hearing, making finding work more difficult... But still. She seemed happy to be the "domestic goddess." I did wonder where you signed up for such a cushy gig. And also what happens if you break up.
Then she tells a "funny" story about waking up with her boyfriend's cock in her mouth after she'd gone to bed saying she wasn't interested.
Post by penguingrrl on Jan 29, 2015 12:43:11 GMT -5
It doesn't sound like he is going to be on board with that. And I personally wouldn't risk leaving the workforce without having a formal long-term commitment. I see nothing wrong with a couple deciding to have one partner SAH full time to take care of housework and cooking and maybe volunteer a bit as long as they can afford to do so comfortably and both are on board, but that strongly sounds like it's not the case and she just wants to play house to hide from reality.
And yeah, I guess I should be cleaning on someshit, huh?
I once knew someone (through a friend) who was a stay at home girlfriend. In her case, she was hard of hearing, making finding work more difficult... But still. She seemed happy to be the "domestic goddess." I did wonder where you signed up for such a cushy gig. And also what happens if you break up.
Then she tells a "funny" story about waking up with her boyfriend's cock in her mouth after she'd gone to bed saying she wasn't interested.
Not funny. I would much rather work.
That's rape. She would really rather live with someone who raped her than work?
Unlike her we are actually married and no we don't need my income* however my H would think I am smoking crack if I pulled this.
*Yeah but my trips would suck and I wouldn't be able to spend large amounts of money for comfortable on International flights.
I'm going to SAH for the next few years and I'm dreading some of the cutbacks I'm having to make, including winery visits and pedicures. I'm so spoiled and even I think the letter writer is on crack.
Lol. Don't we all just want to putter around the house and walk the dog.
Methinks if she's not employed and is using her savings to pay her share of the bills, the BF is on to her. He knows if he says, "Oh, I'll pay for everything, just conserve your savings," that she will really never get a job.
You know what this reminds me of? My mom hasn't worked in 19 years and she was talking to some friends over the summer. Someone mentioned another wife of a mutual friend and called her a "kept woman". My mom said, "That sounds nice. I'd like to be that." My dad was stunned and asked, "What do you think you are though?"
My mom says she's retired. Mom. You didn't retire at 41. You just never went back to work after we moved to a different state.
This is my mother inlaw. Lol. Her and my FIL talk about "rich people"'as if they're not. Meanwhile, she never worked and he retired at 38.
Post by hopecounts on Jan 29, 2015 12:55:23 GMT -5
I was a SAHW for the first 5ish months after we married, I had moved states, and the job market wasn't great. I REALLY enjoyed it, but DH and I had discussed it and I was actively trying to get a job. I also love being a SAHM, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to next year when she is in school full time I will most likely work again but with DD's special needs it works better for me to be home for now since it's an option and DH agrees. Likely once she reaches 1st we'll reevaluate and see where we are at (out patient therapy needs/do we have a 2nd kid/etc).
I also burned out about 2 years into the work force. I graduated early and I think the transition from college to work can be hard (millennials, am I right?!). But I worked retail for a year. I was also single, so...
And yeah, not being married, unfortunately, is kind of dicey. She'll have to get her own insurance. My SIL was barely working while living with her BF. It was a weird situation in that she needs to be able to take a job wherever she needs to in the US and he wanted to move to Portland and that was it, so she had very little work available, and my MIL always worried about her not really working and them not being married.
I once knew someone (through a friend) who was a stay at home girlfriend. In her case, she was hard of hearing, making finding work more difficult... But still. She seemed happy to be the "domestic goddess." I did wonder where you signed up for such a cushy gig. And also what happens if you break up.
Then she tells a "funny" story about waking up with her boyfriend's cock in her mouth after she'd gone to bed saying she wasn't interested.
Not funny. I would much rather work.
That's rape. She would really rather live with someone who raped her than work?
Exactly. I expressed horror and she brushed it off. I only meet her a couple of times but still wonder what happened to her.
Post by pinkdutchtulips on Jan 29, 2015 13:11:39 GMT -5
I read it this morning and instantly thought of you guys
I'm all for what 'quaint' tech town are we talking about ?!? Silicon Valley, Seattle, Boulder ?!?
she's 26 living w/ her BOYFRIEND and expecting him to be ok w/ her quitting her job bc its "too stressful" hello sweetie it's SOCIAL WORK ... she should have known going in that it was going to be stressful ! so she can spend her days taking care of HIM (I don't think the suggestion of cooking for others is going to fly w/ her .. I get that HIGH maintenance vibe from her),going to the gym, promoting tranquilty - basically a SV trophy wife ... ewww
if I were her bf .. I'm sorry but the neighbors would be hearing me HOWL w/ laughter that I support my gf bc she's too stressed to work lol
I, too, would love to be a trophy wife. Instead I am the higher paid in the marriage. Apparently I took a wrong turn somewhere. I should have been headed to a "quaint tech town" (wtf is that?) and finding some dude who can't say no to me.
right? Where did I go so wrong???
quaint tech town does sound so very odd, doesn't it? I'm picturing Eureka from the SciFi show.
I read it to mean they live in Sunnyvale or something and her BF commutes to San Jose. Bias. lol
quaint tech town does sound so very odd, doesn't it? I'm picturing Eureka from the SciFi show.
I read it to mean they live in Sunnyvale or something and her BF commutes to San Jose. Bias. lol
when she mentioned helping in a local forest .. SV was NOT my first thought ... Seattle maybe or Boulder ?!?
there are NO local forests to SV in a 30 min radius (even the SCruz mts are farther away than that !) and I don't see her as the kind to travel THAT far to volunteer.
I read it to mean they live in Sunnyvale or something and her BF commutes to San Jose. Bias. lol
when she mentioned helping in a local forest .. SV was NOT my first thought ... Seattle maybe or Boulder ?!?
there are NO local forests to SV in a 30 min radius (even the SCruz mts are farther away than that !) and I don't see her as the kind to travel THAT far to volunteer.
I was talking to the article when I read and I missed that.
I read it to mean they live in Sunnyvale or something and her BF commutes to San Jose. Bias. lol
when she mentioned helping in a local forest .. SV was NOT my first thought ... Seattle maybe or Boulder ?!?
there are NO local forests to SV in a 30 min radius (even the SCruz mts are farther away than that !) and I don't see her as the kind to travel THAT far to volunteer.
I was thinking Seattle too. Something about the quaint town and the forest felt like Seattle to me.
I feel like just from her perspective it's a bad idea. Because what the fuck happens when he gets tired of her ass? What happens when he starts playing stupid games like I make the money so I make the decisions? He has no legal obligation to her. She has no legal recourse for the shit he buys or does with his money. If he bought a nice house, filled it with furniture, supplied her with a car and they broke up because she overcooked the roast three years down the road, what then?
when she mentioned helping in a local forest .. SV was NOT my first thought ... Seattle maybe or Boulder ?!?
there are NO local forests to SV in a 30 min radius (even the SCruz mts are farther away than that !) and I don't see her as the kind to travel THAT far to volunteer.
I was thinking Seattle too. Something about the quaint town and the forest felt like Seattle to me.
He'd best be raking it in, then, yeah? Seattle is not LCOL.
A lot of 26 year olds (like 26 year old me) also can't see the forest for the trees. What are their goals? It's cool if you have a 700 sq ft apartment and he can afford the bills. Do they want to get married and have a wedding? Buy a house? Replace cars? Have kids?
Plenty of people make it work, but usually as a trade off, like, "I'd like to stay home while our kids are young, and then we won't have to pay for child care or outsource domestic chores."
I bought a car when I was 24 and I still have it - who knew I'd be lamenting how I'm going to eventually fit a car seat in the little 2 door compact?
I feel like just from her perspective it's a bad idea. Because what the fuck happens when he gets tired of her ass? What happens when he starts playing stupid games like I make the money so I make the decisions? He has no legal obligation to her. She has no legal recourse for the shit he buys or does with his money. If he bought a nice house, filled it with furniture, supplied her with a car and they broke up because she overcooked the roast three years down the road, what then?
This. This a dangerous road she is planning to take at the ripe old age of 26 FFS.