I have a friend that is a SAHW, and then don't plan on ever having kids. His job moves them around so much, that it just became pointless for her to keep looking for jobs each time. Her IG is my dream life. Lots of hot yoga, hiking, lunch with friends, and shoe shopping, and amazing vacations. They never buy homes when the move either, so she doesn't even have to worry about "keeping" a house. I'm so jealous!
This is the only part I don't understand. Unless you have lots of friends who are also SAHWs, who are these friends?
People who work still take lunch breaks. I do have some friends who also freelance and/or have some weekdays off, but probably half of my lunches were with friends who worked. I would (and still do, on some days off) go meet them close to their office, since I had more time than they did.
This is the only part I don't understand. Unless you have lots of friends who are also SAHWs, who are these friends?
People who work still take lunch breaks. I do have some friends who also freelance and/or have some weekdays off, but probably half of my lunches were with friends who worked. I would (and still do, on some days off) go meet them close to their office, since I had more time than they did.
Yeah, like I said, I live in my own little world where I eat at my desk every single day, except for the few times my dad has driven up to have lunch with me.
(LOL. I am so lame. I'm realizing right now how lame I am)
People who work still take lunch breaks. I do have some friends who also freelance and/or have some weekdays off, but probably half of my lunches were with friends who worked. I would (and still do, on some days off) go meet them close to their office, since I had more time than they did.
Yeah, like I said, I live in my own little world where I eat at my desk every single day, except for the few times my dad has driven up to have lunch with me.
(LOL. I am so lame. I'm realizing right now how lame I am)
I ate at my desk sometimes when I worked full time, and do sometimes now, although not as much. But yeah, not everyone does, or the people who do will make exceptions to go meet someone from time to time. You should try going out sometime! It's nice to get a break from the office.
SAHW is so glamorized omg. People, most of you couldn't handle the judgement!! The questions will drive you crazy.
What do you do all day? Don't you feel weird asking your H for money? You're a SAHW and you don't cook?
Why would a SAHW have to ask for money? I mean, if you already have a joint checking account, it's not like your name gets removed from the accounts and your cards get cut up when you quit.
Was it on MM where there was a thread about "do you ask permission from your spouse to spend money". People ask all kinds of questions, lol.
Yeah, like I said, I live in my own little world where I eat at my desk every single day, except for the few times my dad has driven up to have lunch with me.
(LOL. I am so lame. I'm realizing right now how lame I am)
I ate at my desk sometimes when I worked full time, and do sometimes now, although not as much. But yeah, not everyone does, or the people who do will make exceptions to go meet someone from time to time. You should try going out sometime! It's nice to get a break from the office.
Ooooh, I'm going to make Mr. Wambam meet me for Mexican!
Why would a SAHW have to ask for money? I mean, if you already have a joint checking account, it's not like your name gets removed from the accounts and your cards get cut up when you quit.
Was it on MM where there was a thread about "do you ask permission from your spouse to spend money". People ask all kinds of questions, lol.
I am single. LOTS of people ask me about it. Heck even the receptionist at the hair salon asked me earlier in the week.
Only if somehow I could guarantee being set for life if we divorced or he died. I think it's way too risky to quit work and not be able to support myself. You just never know what could happen and it's very, very important to me to not have to rely on anyone but myself if something bad happened.
If there was absolutely no chance of being screwed over in the event of something bad happening? Hell yes. I hate working.
Why would a SAHW have to ask for money? I mean, if you already have a joint checking account, it's not like your name gets removed from the accounts and your cards get cut up when you quit.
Was it on MM where there was a thread about "do you ask permission from your spouse to spend money". People ask all kinds of questions, lol.
There was a day with a few big posts about SAHWs on MM and yes, I seem to recall that this question arose. Even though this question is really more about who manages the finances, not who earns the money. I think people who ask this question must presume that the man handles the finances. That's not the case in my house.
I would stay at home if I could still send the kids to daycare and hire a housekeeper. Maybe even a chef. But I don't mind cooking too terribly much.
Ideally though, I'd like to work my same job from 10-2 and still get paid my same salary and benefits. I mean, 2 years ago I negotiated going 7-4 to 7-3 for the same pay, so it could happen one day!
I have a friend that is a SAHW, and then don't plan on ever having kids. His job moves them around so much, that it just became pointless for her to keep looking for jobs each time. Her IG is my dream life. Lots of hot yoga, hiking, lunch with friends, and shoe shopping, and amazing vacations. They never buy homes when the move either, so she doesn't even have to worry about "keeping" a house. I'm so jealous!
This is the only part I don't understand. Unless you have lots of friends who are also SAHWs, who are these friends?
Why can't you have lunch with people who work? I often have lunch with SAHM friends on days I WAH. When I was on maternity leave I also sometimes went downtown for lunch to eat with friends who were working just to get out of the house.
Post by lexxasaurus on Jan 29, 2015 15:39:51 GMT -5
Absolutely not. Not only could I not be comfortable being totally dependent on someone else, I also need structure and routine in my life. Work keeps me sane, I would be scatterbrained and make a MILLION amazing plans if I didn't have a job. I'd never follow through though. My house would be a mess of cupcakes and half finished projects.
Never again. I did it for two years and now that I am back to working, it was the worst two years of my life. If I lived in a more developed area or in a town, it may not have been so bad but for me, it was terrible. And depressing.
Plus the judgement from others sucked. "what do you do all day?" "do you just sleep all day?" "why are you online, you should be cooking and cleaning since it's your job", "oh, your husband must enjoy that, you do all the cooking, cleaning, etc, right?", "don't you want a job?!"
ETA: Oh yah and money. I got lots of "do you just spend your husband's money all day?" or "do you have to ask your husband for money since he works and it is his?" Drives you up a wall.
No. I had a month off each summer when I worked for a school. I hated it and was ready to go back to work. Part-time would be nice. Or I'd pursue being a professional archer since I'd have the time to practice.
Post by gretchenindisguise on Jan 29, 2015 15:44:48 GMT -5
It would have to be through some sort of wealth that didn't come from my husband's paycheck. I have a need to be able to support myself in the absence of anyone else. So if I won the lottery - sure. If he just got a really great job - no. And only if I could afford to also hire out laundry and cleaning - because I wouldn't quit work so I could become the maid at home.
Nope! I was one this fall after we moved before I found a job. Some things about it v were great - and my v house was in better shape. But I missed people! And got bored. It didn't help that we ready had to watch our spending.
I also had a hard tune getting plugged in without having kids. There are very few kidless SAHWs that are even closer to my age.
DH also resented me a bit - he wanted stay home & basically not doing anything for a good chunk of the day. I do kind of wish I had taken a part time job. That would be the best of both worlds.
The biggest drawback to SAH, for me, was this weird, false sense of accomplishment I'd get from the most mundane and unnecessary things. Like reorganizing the baking dishes or something.
If it was all my money (as opposed to me losing it if something happened to H) then I'd be the queen of volunteer work/weird jobs. If it was my husband making the money, then no. I need to be able to take care of myself financially no matter how much he makes.
A year ago I would have, but like others have said, I would have had to find lots of things to do. And I think occasionally I would probably take a part time job just to break things up.
I have the option to be a SAHM in the future if I decide to leave this job. But right now, I really like my work.