WTF: Mom Straightens 4-Month-Old Black Baby’s Hair

[Jermys]

At first I thought the article said four YEAR old, and I was all WTF? And then reading comprehension kicked in and I saw that it was a four MONTH old and my face was all :-| :-( +o( :@

mybrownbaby.com/2012/08/wtf-mom-straightens-4-month-old-black-babys-hair-she-is-decidedly-not-happy-her-girl-is-nappy/



You might want to sit down for this one.

Take a good, hard look at this picture. Go ahead—I’ll wait.

Now go back and look at the conversation between the mother of this little baby and her mom’s Facebook “friend.”

Oh no girl—it’s not a joke or a game. That baby, only four months old, barely able to distinguish colors, not yet ready for solid foods, just learning how to say “da da,” has her hair straightened. It’s not clear if said straightening on said 4-month-old was done with skin-burning chemical relaxer, a fire-hot pressing comb or the burning-hot heat of a blow dryer. What is absolutely crystal, though, is that this child’s tender, baby curls were stripped, the child’s hair is damaged and her mother is a complete and total idiot who clearly is a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

Hell yes—I said it: This. Mother. Is. A. Dumb. Ass. Idiot.

What kind of sick, low-self-esteem-having, self-hating ignoramus do you have to be to sit your baby—BABY!—in your lap, take her baby-soft curls into your hands and decide that it’s so unmanageable, so unruly, so ugly, that you can’t go on one minute longer until your infant—INFANT!—has straight hair? How many f*cks do you have to not give about your child to pull chemicals/a hot comb/a brush and blow dryer across her tender, sensitive little scalp at just 4 months old?

I mean, I understand it’s hard to know what to do with kinky, curly hair when all you have to work with is a little bit of information, great trepidation and memories of your own Saturday night black girl hair kitchen torture squirm between your mom’s knees. I know this was a huge issue for me when my girls were babies; all of the how-to’s in the parenting books focused on hair and skin that didn’t look or feel like my girls’. I knew everything there was to know about how to care for a baby with thin, blonde hair, and it seemed like every product in the kids’ shampoo section was made specifically for them. But what was I supposed to put in my baby’s hair? What would keep it from drying out? How was I supposed to comb it? What was I supposed to do as the texture changed—sometimes just on one side of her head? Was it safe to braid it? Pull it into puffs? Put barrettes in it? And what was a nice, curt, way of telling my mom’s friends that my kid’s hair was in an Afro, sans braids/puffs/hairclips/lye because I liked it that way and it was actually better for her?

Honestly, there still aren’t any black children’s hair care books out that explain it all, only a few of the bazillion black hair care blogs actually focus on the delicate but thick tendrils of black children (one of my faves is Beads, Braids & Beyond). And only one line of products—Cara B Naturally—can claim to be all natural and, without any question, safe for a baby’s hair and skin. But dammit, lack of information and products should never be an excuse for straightening a 4-month-old black baby girl’s hair. Like, ever. Google it. Phone a friend. Buy a clue. Get your life. Do something—anything—other than torturing your baby and setting her up for a lifetime of self-hate.

I just want to rent a truck, fill it with copies of “Happy To Be Nappy” and “I Love My Hair!” and dump it all out on this fool mother’s front lawn. Something just tells me, though, that the beautiful messages contained in their pages—that African American girls with thick, curly, kinky hair are beautiful exactly the way they are—would be totally lost on her. Totally.

[ChillyMcFreeze]

That poor thing. Baby hair is so delicate. If the mom makes this a habit, I would imagine it's going to wreak havoc on her grown-up hair.

[iammalcolmx]

I am fucking furious

[cookiemdough]

wth was she thinking??? Why oh why would she do this?

[NitaX]

I can't even begin to understand this utter foolishness. What in the hellz is wrong with her?!!!!!!!!!!

Nae has a head full of hair, but seriously, it's not that dang difficult to manage. And at 4 months, we ain't talking 4zzzzzzzzzzz ass texture.

[pixy0stix]

ZB didn't have enough hair at 4 months to be able to style it in any way. Poor baby.

[Deleted]

Ack, poor little baby.

I have a question though. My mom's good friend adopted a baby and hasn't really even tried to do her hair yet. She's 18 months old. Where they live I'm sure it's a matter of time before randoms in the supermarket start giving her advice or criticizing her because my mom said the little girl's hair is out of control and her friend has a lot of good traits but she is sort of a slob about her own appearance. Is there any wa for my mom to tactfully suggest she learn black hair maintenance?

[Daria Morgandorffer]

Aug 9, 2012 15:16:39 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

ZB didn't have enough hair at 4 months to be able to style it in any way. Poor baby.

My kid had a bitchin' mullet.

[Jermys]

I was shocked. I mean, Freddie is five months and I do NOTHING with his hair, beside rubbing a little organic shea butter on his scalp for the eczema. His hair is healthy, clean and moisturized, and he's a happy fat man. I'm sure as hell not putting the creamy crack on his poor little infant scalp

Edith's hair got even less attention because I was still figuring out what I was doing. Now she's in braids all the time and I use the shea butter on her too. Strangers and her hair stylist always rave about how healthy her hair is, and I always tell them it's the lack of chemicals.

[Jermys]

Aug 9, 2012 15:17:44 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

Ack, poor little baby.

I have a question though. My mom's good friend adopted a baby and hasn't really even tried to do her hair yet. She's 18 months old. Where they live I'm sure it's a matter of time before randoms in the supermarket start giving her advice or criticizing her because my mom said the little girl's hair is out of control and her friend has a lot of good traits but she is sort of a slob about her own appearance. Is there any wa for my mom to tactfully suggest she learn black hair maintenance?

Your mom needs to send her to this blog: www.chocolatehairvanillacare.com/

Rory is freaking amazing and she has a wealth of knowledge. That little girl can't go around with her hair a mess. It's not fair to adopt transracially and not care properly for hair and skin. That's one of my hot-button issues.

[Deleted]

Aug 9, 2012 15:21:58 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Aug 9, 2012 15:17:44 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

Ack, poor little baby.

I have a question though. My mom's good friend adopted a baby and hasn't really even tried to do her hair yet. She's 18 months old. Where they live I'm sure it's a matter of time before randoms in the supermarket start giving her advice or criticizing her because my mom said the little girl's hair is out of control and her friend has a lot of good traits but she is sort of a slob about her own appearance. Is there any wa for my mom to tactfully suggest she learn black hair maintenance?

Your mom needs to send her to this blog: www.chocolatehairvanillacare.com/

Rory is freaking amazing and she has a wealth of knowledge. That little girl can't go around with her hair a mess. It's not fair to adopt transracially and not care properly for hair and skin. That's one of my hot-button issues.

Thanks!

[mexicali]

I have used a little baby oil in Z's hair since it was curly. That started when he was about 8 or so months. Heat on a LO's hair like that can not be good at all. That is so ridiculous. Parents amaze me with the things they do just to see what will happen. It's a kid and not your doll.

[NitaX]

Aug 9, 2012 15:17:44 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

Ack, poor little baby.

I have a question though. My mom's good friend adopted a baby and hasn't really even tried to do her hair yet. She's 18 months old. Where they live I'm sure it's a matter of time before randoms in the supermarket start giving her advice or criticizing her because my mom said the little girl's hair is out of control and her friend has a lot of good traits but she is sort of a slob about her own appearance. Is there any wa for my mom to tactfully suggest she learn black hair maintenance?

I suggest that Grey's Anatomy episode where Baile told Derek and Meredith to comb that baby's head! LOL

No, seriously, tell her to just say "Look, before you get some rude comments from black moms in the store, you might want to learn to do more to Baby's hair than XYZ. There is a fantastic website Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care that is devoted to black hair from the vantage of a mom who hasn't the first clue what to do with the texture."

There is a whole bunch of websites like that. Braids, Beads and Beyond. Baby Big Hair, the CHVC website has a huge following even of black moms. The natural hair community is huge online.

[NitaX]

Aug 9, 2012 15:19:50 GMT -5 Jermys said:

I was shocked. I mean, Freddie is five months and I do NOTHING with his hair, beside rubbing a little organic shea butter on his scalp for the eczema.

Girl - have you tried that Shea Moisture Eczema line? That stuff is MAGICAL!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jermys]

No! I'm going to have to Google it!

I found this stuff at the farmer's market - it's shea butter, coconut oil, tapioca starch, calendula and lavender. It's not greasy at all, and it works like a freaking charm. It made a huge difference the first time I used it! I was shocked. With Edith, we used Aquaphor, which worked, but was so freaking greasy, it got on EVERYTHING! This stuff soaks right in and it's all natural, which I love.

[Jermys]

Aug 9, 2012 15:30:16 GMT -5 pennypenny said:

Aug 9, 2012 15:21:58 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Your mom needs to send her to this blog: www.chocolatehairvanillacare.com/

Rory is freaking amazing and she has a wealth of knowledge. That little girl can't go around with her hair a mess. It's not fair to adopt transracially and not care properly for hair and skin. That's one of my hot-button issues.

I love you.

Nothing gets me hotter. Unless it's asking if my children are crack babies.

[meshaliuknits]

HowTF did she even do that? Flat iron or chemical relaxer, doing that to a 4mo baby without hurting her would just be hard.

My kid is almost 2yo and I mostly just pull her hair back out of her face.

[summer]

That mother needs to get her ass whupped. **looks for my Madea wig*

[orangeblossom]

It's stories like this that make me go "My people, my people". Can't really come up with anything better than that. I think the blogger and pp's have done a good job describing the craziness that is straightening an infants hair.

[msmerymac]

Aug 9, 2012 15:33:24 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Aug 9, 2012 15:30:16 GMT -5 pennypenny said:

I love you.

Nothing gets me hotter. Unless it's asking if my children are crack babies.

Please tell me that hasn't actually happened.

[Deleted]

I'm pretty sure it's flat ironed BUT STILL, WHAT THE SHIT!

And it doesn't even look long enough to have been a pain in the ass. Homegirl is a morAn.

[Jermys]

Aug 9, 2012 16:53:47 GMT -5 msmerymac said:

Aug 9, 2012 15:33:24 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Nothing gets me hotter. Unless it's asking if my children are crack babies.

Please tell me that hasn't actually happened.

On two separate occasions, actually. Because people are special.

[Deleted]

Aug 9, 2012 17:24:53 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Aug 9, 2012 16:53:47 GMT -5 msmerymac said:

Please tell me that hasn't actually happened.

On two separate occasions, actually. Because people are special.

Wtf is wrong with people?!?!?!

[Jermys]

Habs, many people are fucking idiots with no shutthefuckupandmindyourGOTdamnbusiness filter.

[iammalcolmx]

Aug 9, 2012 17:24:53 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Aug 9, 2012 16:53:47 GMT -5 msmerymac said:

Please tell me that hasn't actually happened.

On two separate occasions, actually. Because people are special.

THA FUCK??? What did you say?

[Jermys]

IAMX, I said and then I said, "No, actually, both of their birthmoms are A students in college." which is only partially true, but it's not anyone's damn business even if they were crack babies.

Both of their birthmoms smoked weed, but that's not even a thing.

[frlcb]

I have been asked, more than once, if my daughters red hair is natural. The first time I was asked she was 9 months, she is only 16 months now. I thought people were dumb for thinking I would do that to a baby but apparently people do actually do dumb shit like this.

[msmerymac]

Crack babies are so 30 years ago.

[meshaliuknits]

Aug 9, 2012 17:49:29 GMT -5 frlcb said:

I have been asked, more than once, if my daughters red hair is natural. The first time I was asked she was 9 months, she is only 16 months now. I thought people were dumb for thinking I would do that to a baby but apparently people do actually do dumb shit like this.

I got that on Saturday! I was like WTF? The clip I had pulling her hair out of her face was only in because she hadn't noticed it yet. WhoTF dyes or curls a 2yo's hair?

I'm not sure if he meant the color or the curls. Or maybe he really wanted to ask me if that was indeed my baby.

[Deleted]

I've been asked if DD's hair is natural. Noooo I bleach it.

Idiots.