The women who have shared their experiences so far aren't dumb. You don't think we don't think of what other people's motives could be for their words or actions? You think songforyou jumped to thinking her coworkers are racist? (Which she never even claimed by the way, so not sure why you even brought the word racist in to this)
On a weekly basis we have to navigate these type of situations and our first reaction isn't always "THAT'S RACIST!!!" which seems to be what you think since you felt the need to suggest possible other motives. You don't think we don't think about this shit all the damn time?!??! Thanks for trying to enlighten us, but yeah no, in this thread we don't need any enlightening.
Thank you. FWIW, I do not think my coworkers, nor other women with whom I've experienced this, are racists. Okay, maybe one of my coworkers, but that has more to do with the fact that I think she may be a birther and a few other things than this lol. The others, well, I'd never say what someone else does behind closed doors, but I feel pretty confident they are not at all, which is really what annoyed me most about her posts. It wasn't what I said, implied, nor is what I think.
I apologize then - that's how I took the "and you're black!" Part of the comment, like they were amazed you could be pretty and well dressed and black -which is racist.
I admit, I don't see any other implication for that.
I apologize then - that's how I took the "and you're black!" Part of the comment, like they were amazed you could be pretty and well dressed and black -which is racist.
I admit, I don't see any other implication for that.
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Imo, we all have racial biases. That's not the same as being racist.
Hmmm.....I'll have to think about that. That's a fine line. I know John Mayer was generally regarded a racist after he disclosed he wasn't attracted to black women.
I'm not altogether sure I agree; I can recognize someone is attractive, but isn't attractive to me personally. The "attractive to me personally" could be racial bias, right? Or whatever it is that causes us to be personally attracted to someone. But to not even recognize they're attractive at all, because their race disqualifies them from the designation? That sounds racist to me.
Imo, we all have racial biases. That's not the same as being racist.
Hmmm.....I'll have to think about that. That's a fine line. I know John Mayer was generally regarded a racist after he disclosed he wasn't attracted to black women.
I'm not altogether sure I agree; I can recognize someone is attractive, but isn't attractive to me personally. The "attractive to me personally" could be racial bias, right? Or whatever it is that causes us to be personally attracted to someone. But to not even recognize they're attractive at all, because their race disqualifies them from the designation? That sounds racist to me.
No I don't necessarily think so.
Just like I'm not physically attracted to women, I'm honestly not very attracted to white guys. Like I don't think I've ever seen a white guy and been like omg you're so sexy I want to do you right now. Just like I've never felt that way about a woman.
Now if someone says they;re not attracted to black women because they're ghetto, with phat asses and most likely 7 kids, then obviously that's very different than not finding someone aesthetically pleasing.
I have absolutely no racial bias in regards to attraction of white people. I love white people. But a white dude just has never done it for me.
Racial bias and being racist aren't the same thing and I don't think who you're physically attracted to falls under the same category as either in many instances.
Hmmm.....I'll have to think about that. That's a fine line. I know John Mayer was generally regarded a racist after he disclosed he wasn't attracted to black women.
I'm not altogether sure I agree; I can recognize someone is attractive, but isn't attractive to me personally. The "attractive to me personally" could be racial bias, right? Or whatever it is that causes us to be personally attracted to someone. But to not even recognize they're attractive at all, because their race disqualifies them from the designation? That sounds racist to me.
Hm. It COULD be if the data points you are using to decide they aren't attractive are racist ones, like the ones Wandering noted, ie she has big lips, her hair is like a brillo pad and I can't run my fingers through it etc. But some folks just don't make your heart pitterpatter even though a mass of folks think they are good-looking (See: Jared Leto). Does that make sense?
Yes, that makes absolute sense, that is what I was trying to say. There are lots of people that I don't find unattractive, but who don't attract me.
I'm not sure where the line is if song for you says it's racial bias but not racism - what's racism then?
But I don't really get the whole physical attraction thing. I don't care what people look like, they're only attractive to me once I know them. Looks don't matter to me, maybe because I was lucky enough to realize I was ugly early on. When I read these posts about people worrying whether they lose jobs based on their looks, or worrying about their makeup or their clothes, I feel blessed, really, that I never had to worry about that stuff. I knew I couldn't compete on that front and it never interested me to try, and it probably saved me a lot of time and anxiety. It all sounds very stressful
Hmmm.....I'll have to think about that. That's a fine line. I know John Mayer was generally regarded a racist after he disclosed he wasn't attracted to black women.
Nope, it was because he compared his dick to David Duke.
....because he'd never been with a black woman. So is that racial bias, like song for you said, or racism? Where's the line?
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
Hmmm.....I'll have to think about that. That's a fine line. I know John Mayer was generally regarded a racist after he disclosed he wasn't attracted to black women.
Nope, it was because he compared his dick to David Duke.
He also said he looks at a woman like Kerry Washington and just assumes she's a crazy bitch.
So yes, he said he can't get it up for black women and we're probably crazy anyway.
I'm not anybody's grandma, thank you very much. How old do you think I am, anyway?
Really, if you all hate old people so much, how will you ever adjust to being old yourself? Or you just don't think that you're ever going to get old? Is it the Pete Townshend thing - Hope I die before I get old? Didn't work for him.
I don't get the hate. This thread isn't even about old people, so why do you always go there?
Pixy, you're a moderator. If there's some rule here against people over a certain age participating, maybe you better say so up front because it doesn't say so anywhere. This board is different than any other forum I've ever participated in because not only are personal attacks allowed by the moderator, the moderator participates in them. Anywhere else, you're told to keep it on topic and to not make it about the posters.
Wow. With that attitude, you have only suicide to look forward to.
Child, there are worse things than being old. You only get one life, enjoy it while you can, even the part when you're old.
Yeah I have big plans for that.
You are so dumb and humorless, it's almost not funny to poke you any more. Almost.
For the 10000000000th time, I don't actually hate old people, I just say that to you, because it sends you from 0-60 without fail even when it's the most obvious sarcastic comment. It's as predictable as death and taxes.
Not to mention that "the oldz" implies a certain attitude and is not the same as getting old. I don't hate old age, lol.
And now I'm done derailing this wonderful thread. If you feel the need to continue this conversation, page me or start a new thread. I apologize to everyone else.