I think not allowing certain toys is kind of dumb. They are going to be exposed to them at some point or just make their own. Many a stick or straw has turned into a gun at our house. DD had Barbies when she was younger they are gone no because she didn't play with them.
I just can't get it up that toys have that big of an influence on kids.
Post by justbecause on Mar 26, 2015 9:51:07 GMT -5
I think homeschooling your kid so that they don't "learn bad words and behaviors" is kind of silly. It's not like they won't learn that stuff in the world.
I think homeschooling your kid so that they don't "learn bad words and behaviors" is kind of silly. It's not like they won't learn that stuff in the world.
Homeschooling in general is dumb and should be very tightly regulated.
Post by justbecause on Mar 26, 2015 9:55:47 GMT -5
My inlaws think private school would also be any different. I'm sure 3 year olds at private school never say bad words or do anything bad. (Sarcasm ) And I believe ds1 learned two if his bad words from my father in law.
Post by amynumbers on Mar 26, 2015 10:05:40 GMT -5
Guns are my sticking point with toys though. Sure, kids, boys especially, we eventually make anything a gun. Rock on! Use your imagination! I can't get upset about that -- but I also am not buying a toy shotgun either.
I think not allowing certain toys is kind of dumb. They are going to be exposed to them at some point or just make their own. Many a stick or straw has turned into a gun at our house. DD had Barbies when she was younger they are gone no because she didn't play with them.
I just can't get it up that toys have that big of an influence on kids.
But do you think kids are constantly influenced by all the things around them? Toys are just one other thing. If adults are susceptible to subliminal messaging, of course kids are. I agree that they will encounter things in the world, but why not minimize the influences of the things you don't like in your own home. They'll get enough of it outside. I'm not advocating sheltering them. Sure, play with a Barbie at Susie's house, but I'm not proactively buying one unless it's asked for and then I'd consider.
I think not allowing certain toys is kind of dumb. They are going to be exposed to them at some point or just make their own. Many a stick or straw has turned into a gun at our house. DD had Barbies when she was younger they are gone no because she didn't play with them.
I just can't get it up that toys have that big of an influence on kids.
But do you think kids are constantly influenced by all the things around them? Toys are just one other thing. If adults are susceptible to subliminal messaging, of course kids are. I agree that they will encounter things in the world, but why not minimize the influences of the things you don't like in your own home. They'll get enough of it outside. I'm not advocating sheltering them. Sure, play with a Barbie at Susie's house, but I'm not proactively buying one unless it's asked for and then I'd consider.
Nope I believe people way over estimate the effects of inanimate objects and their influence on kids. I think it's ridiculous to think a Barbie at 4 is going to cause body image issues at 10. I think parents placing an over importance in these objects is silly.
Guns are my sticking point with toys though. Sure, kids, boys especially, we eventually make anything a gun. Rock on! Use your imagination! I can't get upset about that -- but I also am not buying a toy shotgun either.
Eh we won't buy guns that look real but that's a safety issue to me. Bright yellow nerd or water guns? Sure.
But do you think kids are constantly influenced by all the things around them? Toys are just one other thing. If adults are susceptible to subliminal messaging, of course kids are. I agree that they will encounter things in the world, but why not minimize the influences of the things you don't like in your own home. They'll get enough of it outside. I'm not advocating sheltering them. Sure, play with a Barbie at Susie's house, but I'm not proactively buying one unless it's asked for and then I'd consider.
Nope I believe people way over estimate the effects of inanimate objects and their influence on kids. I think it's ridiculous to think a Barbie at 4 is going to cause body image issues at 10. I think parents placing an over importance in these objects is silly.
I think this is partly true. I think of course what we expose our kids to has an impact on them. I also think lots of times it's the cumlative effect of lots of things that creates the negative outcome -- it's the barbie, and the treating the girl like a pretty princes, and the mom who is working out with a fiend and counting calories, and the constant cute outfits.
And with boys I think it's not just the toy gun but the macho dad, and the household that embraces guns for fun, and maybe the political/social leanings.
Basically, if the seeds are already planted, I don't thinks guns and barbies hurt, but they surely don't help.
Guns are my sticking point with toys though. Sure, kids, boys especially, we eventually make anything a gun. Rock on! Use your imagination! I can't get upset about that -- but I also am not buying a toy shotgun either.
Eh we won't buy guns that look real but that's a safety issue to me. Bright yellow nerd or water guns? Sure.
Yeah, I can't get behind no multi colored nerf or water guns. Basically because I am pretty sure even my 4 and 2 year old have the sense to know that is different.
But do you think kids are constantly influenced by all the things around them? Toys are just one other thing. If adults are susceptible to subliminal messaging, of course kids are. I agree that they will encounter things in the world, but why not minimize the influences of the things you don't like in your own home. They'll get enough of it outside. I'm not advocating sheltering them. Sure, play with a Barbie at Susie's house, but I'm not proactively buying one unless it's asked for and then I'd consider.
Nope I believe people way over estimate the effects of inanimate objects and their influence on kids. I think it's ridiculous to think a Barbie at 4 is going to cause body image issues at 10. I think parents placing an over importance in these objects is silly.
Maybe you're right. Maybe not. I personally find Barbie offensive and don't really want her sitting around my house if I can avoid it. If the kid won't have body image issues from playing with a Barbie, the kid is not going to be scarred because she got one at 8 instead of 4 right either.
Nope I believe people way over estimate the effects of inanimate objects and their influence on kids. I think it's ridiculous to think a Barbie at 4 is going to cause body image issues at 10. I think parents placing an over importance in these objects is silly.
I think this is partly true. Â I think of course what we expose our kids to has an impact on them. Â I also think lots of times it's the cumlative effect of lots of things that creates the negative outcome -- it's the barbie, and the treating the girl like a pretty princes, and the mom who is working out with a fiend and counting calories, and the constant cute outfits.
And with boys I think it's not just the toy gun but the macho dad, and the household that embraces guns for fun, and maybe the political/social leanings.
Basically, if the seeds are already planted, I don't thinks guns and barbies hurt, but they surely don't help.
Yup. And honestly those seeds are all but unavoidable unless you completely shelter your kids from the world. We do not encourage yr princess stuff whatsoever, but the world does. So DD wants a Cinderella doll. Totally fine, but why get the Barbie one?
I think homeschooling your kid so that they don't "learn bad words and behaviors" is kind of silly. It's not like they won't learn that stuff in the world.
Homeschooling in general is dumb and should be very tightly regulated.
True story. My h works with a guy with a Dd the same age as our ds. He said we should let his wife homeschool our DS (btw she is totally not qualified) since he plans to homeschool his Ds so that he can "control everyone she meets and everything in her life." Um wut. Not only is that creepy but I am so so sad for his Dd. His wife has no educational background nor has she done any training or has any experience educating kids. Guess it's my hill bc people like that have no fucking business "homeschooling."
Post by amynumbers on Mar 26, 2015 10:26:36 GMT -5
I will preface this by saying that i generally think homeschoolers are nutters.
That being said...
I really see the appeal of the kind of hippy, off the grid, co-op alternative approach to school. Schools, public and private, have so.many.issues these days. It's not about what my kids are exposed to, it's about what they aren't getting.
I can't for sure say that if I stumbled into some cool, crunchy co-op of ex-teachers who have grown disillusioned with the system that i wouldn't look into it.
Post by rosesandpetals on Mar 26, 2015 10:27:37 GMT -5
The no guns thing is my issue, I admit that. I don't think a water gun is going to turn anyone into a homicidal maniac but I don't like the idea that guns are sometimes for playing. They're not toys and I'd rather just stomp that out even if it is overboard.
The no guns thing is my issue, I admit that. I don't think a water gun is going to turn anyone into a homicidal maniac but I don't like the idea that guns are sometimes for playing. They're not toys and I'd rather just stomp that out even if it is overboard.
But the point is especially with little boys you can't stomp that out. DS was making guns out of sticks long before we owned nerf or water guns. I have no clue where he learned this. Prohibiting toys does not stop behaviors. Unless you are going to lock your kid inside peers have way more of an influence than toys.
I will preface this by saying that i generally think homeschoolers are nutters.
That being said...
I really see the appeal of the kind of hippy, off the grid, co-op alternative approach to school. Schools, public and private, have so.many.issues these days. It's not about what my kids are exposed to, it's about what they aren't getting.
I can't for sure say that if I stumbled into some cool, crunchy co-op of ex-teachers who have grown disillusioned with the system that i wouldn't look into it.
If you find that group, let me know. There is a mom in town here who is that kind of homeschooler and if she wanted to start that co-op with some other intelligent parents, I'd be tempted. We are having a great public school experience right now but I know it might not always be that way.
I will preface this by saying that i generally think homeschoolers are nutters.
That being said...
I really see the appeal of the kind of hippy, off the grid, co-op alternative approach to school. Schools, public and private, have so.many.issues these days. It's not about what my kids are exposed to, it's about what they aren't getting.
I can't for sure say that if I stumbled into some cool, crunchy co-op of ex-teachers who have grown disillusioned with the system that i wouldn't look into it.
I think that's your right, but I think stuff like that needs to be regulated. I don't know how. Perhaps a learning portfolio or something.
Post by andrewsgal on Mar 26, 2015 10:44:51 GMT -5
My UO I think with the exception of standardized test our public school experience so far has been amazing. School is like everything else you get out if it what you put into it. Disclaimer I know there are shitty public schools and teachers, but it think there are more good than bad.
I will preface this by saying that i generally think homeschoolers are nutters.
That being said...
I really see the appeal of the kind of hippy, off the grid, co-op alternative approach to school. Schools, public and private, have so.many.issues these days. It's not about what my kids are exposed to, it's about what they aren't getting.
I can't for sure say that if I stumbled into some cool, crunchy co-op of ex-teachers who have grown disillusioned with the system that i wouldn't look into it.
This is where I'm at with homeschooling. I don't like the blanket statement that homeschooling is bad. Knowing DS as an individual and knowing his personality I am really really worried about him starting school.
we're researching all our options right now but my gut feeling is that he isnt going to thrive in our school system. If people want to judge me for making an informed choice that I feel is best for my child then so be it.
My UO I think with the exception of standardized test our public school experience so far has been amazing. School is like everything else you get out if it what you put into it. Disclaimer I know there are shitty public schools and teachers, but it think there are more good than bad.
I totally agree that there is usually more good than bad and overall I do think we will have a good experience. Some of my concnerns are way beyond "you get out what you put into it."
Our district has amazing potential but it dealing w/ various transition issues in administration and building issues. There is a trickle down effect and our elem school principal super sucks. Sadly, some of the parents having issues w/ her and their children are choosing to move or do privates instead of working towards change. That saddens and worries me. Rumors are flying about teachers looking to leave mostly due to said principal and other unrest.
So, my serious plan is to stick with it and advocate when I need to. I just wish others would be willing to do the same.
Post by amynumbers on Mar 26, 2015 10:54:52 GMT -5
Lala, have you read about this place. The kids are technically homeschoolers, and the idea is it is a supplement to homeschooling or unschooling driven by the child's interest.
I will preface this by saying that i generally think homeschoolers are nutters.
That being said...
I really see the appeal of the kind of hippy, off the grid, co-op alternative approach to school. Schools, public and private, have so.many.issues these days. It's not about what my kids are exposed to, it's about what they aren't getting.
I can't for sure say that if I stumbled into some cool, crunchy co-op of ex-teachers who have grown disillusioned with the system that i wouldn't look into it.
This is where I'm at with homeschooling. I don't like the blanket statement that homeschooling is bad. Knowing DS as an individual and knowing his personality I am really really worried about him starting school.
we're researching all our options right now but my gut feeling is that he isnt going to thrive in our school system. If people want to judge me for making an informed choice that I feel is best for my child then so be it.
See but this gets me irritated. You are already assuming he won't be successful you have him and he school already failing before you give it a shot. It's like you are setting him up for failure.
DD has three kids in her class on the spectrum I am extremely pleased with the school and how they help these kids, so are their parents.
I think we all need to be advocates for our kids. If you go into a situation expecting something to be bad it will. Public school often provides way more resources and professional help than you will find anywhere else.
This is where I'm at with homeschooling. I don't like the blanket statement that homeschooling is bad. Knowing DS as an individual and knowing his personality I am really really worried about him starting school.
we're researching all our options right now but my gut feeling is that he isnt going to thrive in our school system. If people want to judge me for making an informed choice that I feel is best for my child then so be it.
See but this gets me irritated. You are already assuming he won't be successful you have him and he school already failing before you give it a shot. It's like you are setting him up for failure.
DD has three kids in her class on the spectrum I am extremely pleased with the school and how they help these kids, so are their parents.
I think we all need to be advocates for our kids. If you go into a situation expecting something to be bad it will. Public school often provides way more resources and professional help than you will find anywhere else.
I actually agree with this, provided you aren't in an extreme area (think large urban district, or desperately poor extremely rural -- places where the mandate to provide exists, but it just does not happen). But for Joe and Jane Smith in Suburbia, USA -- there is more in public schools. Including protection -- private school can bounce you at any time, and is not required to accommodate in any way.
The no guns thing is my issue, I admit that. I don't think a water gun is going to turn anyone into a homicidal maniac but I don't like the idea that guns are sometimes for playing. They're not toys and I'd rather just stomp that out even if it is overboard.
But the point is especially with little boys you can't stomp that out. DS was making guns out of sticks long before we owned nerf or water guns. I have no clue where he learned this. Prohibiting toys does not stop behaviors. Unless you are going to lock your kid inside peers have way more of an influence than toys.
yeah but I don't have a boy so it isn't necessarily going to come up lol. Seriously, this is totally my issue but I don't like them so I won't allow gun play until/unless she learns it somewhere else. Then I'll cross that bridge. But seeing as most of dh 's family hunts, I'm sure it will come up eventually. But that's also part of it, they treat guns like toys and I want her to know that's not what they are.
But the point is especially with little boys you can't stomp that out. DS was making guns out of sticks long before we owned nerf or water guns. I have no clue where he learned this. Prohibiting toys does not stop behaviors. Unless you are going to lock your kid inside peers have way more of an influence than toys.
yeah but I don't have a boy so it isn't necessarily going to come up lol. Seriously, this is totally my issue but I don't like them so I won't allow gun play until/unless she learns it somewhere else. Then I'll cross that bridge. But seeing as most of dh 's family hunts, I'm sure it will come up eventually. But that's also part of it, they treat guns like toys and I want her to know that's not what they are.
See but I think it should come up especially if you know people that own guns. Gun safety is one on my hills. I get it.
But the point is especially with little boys you can't stomp that out. DS was making guns out of sticks long before we owned nerf or water guns. I have no clue where he learned this. Prohibiting toys does not stop behaviors. Unless you are going to lock your kid inside peers have way more of an influence than toys.
yeah but I don't have a boy so it isn't necessarily going to come up lol. Seriously, this is totally my issue but I don't like them so I won't allow gun play until/unless she learns it somewhere else. Then I'll cross that bridge. But seeing as most of dh 's family hunts, I'm sure it will come up eventually. But that's also part of it, they treat guns like toys and I want her to know that's not what they are.
I think this is a great point too -- if your kid is already surrounded by less than great influences on the topic, no need to add fuel to the fire, especially if they aren't asking for it.
Lala, have you read about this place. The kids are technically homeschoolers, and the idea is it is a supplement to homeschooling or unschooling driven by the child's interest.
ADmittedly, I know a totally awesome non-crazy person who does this, so I feel like it is legit.
That is pretty cool and would be something I'd look into IF and when we have a kid struggling. DD1 is doing great for now, the issues are mine not hers!
Looks like the average is 2 days a week - so about $7/year per kid. Pricey, I think, considering you still need to supplement w/ your own curriculum, activities, etc. Obviously way cheaper than full privates. I just keep thinking about how much we pay in taxes! If we were in the city, I would for sure look into it more seriously.
A friend is sending her kid to germantown friends next year - heavily scholarshipped. (is that a word?) I'm sure it will be fabulous but then I get annoyed b/c our district is paying to bus her kid there, but that's a whole other topic.
Girls do play with boys. So the gun play still happens. If they are happily playing, not "shooting" each other just for the heck of it but actually have an imaginary game going, whatever. The imaginary play piece is more important I think.
FWIW, I would have said the same thing a few years ago, Roses. I'm not saying you'll change your mind, but I did. Not b/c I suddenly love guns, but the more I watch play and read, the less I worry. There are far bigger things I'm worried about in regards to children playing that pretending to shoot a bad guy.