Post by matildasun on Mar 27, 2015 21:50:39 GMT -5
My first real relationship happened at the end of college. We lived together after I graduated. We fought a lot. He moved out, but we tried to keep dating. We took a month long break. The night he came over to discuss the state of the relationship we fought about bowling. We decided to break up.
He moved in with another woman about 3 months after we broke up. After he broke up with her, we would fool around at music festivals (we lived in different states). We contemplated getting back together, but ultimately decided it was a bad idea.
I dated mt first boyfriend my senior year of high school and most of my freshman year of college. We went to colleges about 2 hours away. By the Spring of our freshman year I knew that I wanted out and I think he sensed that and tried to hold on tighter. We would talk on the phone late at night and he would pick fights and it was exhausting.
Finally after yet another late night call ending in tears, my poor roommate, who had been biting her tongue for weeks, unloaded on me. She told me what she really thought and how poorly my boyfriend treated me and that I deserved so much more. It was like I snapped out of a fog and in that moment I knew that she was completely right.
So I broke up with him shortly thereafter and my roommate and I are still really great friends.
Post by purplecow0206 on Mar 27, 2015 22:07:10 GMT -5
H was/is my first serious relationship. I was very reserved in high school, went to a women's college and rarely ventured to any of the opportunities to meet guys in those 4 years, then had a few short-term "relationships" (none lasting longer than 3 months) and was "taking a break from guys" when I met my H. We'll be together for 8 years in October and married for 6 in September. ☺
I wouldn't consider it a serious relationship looking back on it, but my first boyfriend in college broke up with me over ICQ. Lololol. Miss you 1997!
ETA I have all my old ICQ conversations saved to a floppy disk that is still in a box in my basement. I wish I could access them, I'm sure they are full of special memories-ha!
Post by hbomdiggity on Mar 27, 2015 22:20:40 GMT -5
We had dated 6 years. It was some time coming, but the last straw was when he told me he and friend were going to x and would call me when they got back. He never called, so I called his house and his dad answered. I asked "are they back from x?" Dad's response "umm no they are down at [local bar]."
Oh hell no. There was a backstory regarding the local bar, so I was pissed. I drove to bar. I think his brother was the first to see me when I came in and he knew it wasn't going to end well. Brother got me a drink. Took some big swigs and went up to XBF chatting to girls. Hi!
From there is wasn't too dramatic. We left the bar to talk and I basically told him, you wanted out well you got it.
This was right when I was moving into my first post college apt. Instead of staying with my parents the rest of the weekend I moved out the next day.
Post by angelstar975 on Mar 27, 2015 22:27:57 GMT -5
When the guy I fell deeply in love with my senior year after one month of hooking up (lololol) went to college (he was a year older), he had no interest in hanging out with a high school chick when there were college girls to meet. I sank into a ridiculous depression and my mom had to drag me to the doctor to be medicated, lest I try to off myself over teenage heartbreak. (But for real, I had major depression going on in general.) I burned a CD labeled "Marshall songs" and cruised around singing my little heart out in my 2004 Grand AM, cursing the guy who had broken my heart.
Now, 11 years later, I just turned to Marshall in bed and admitted this. I'm pretty sure he's trying not to laugh.
I actually wouldn't even consider it my first serious relationship, as it wasn't one back then, and the guy between now and then was my first real relationship. But that story is less interesting.
We broke up first my freshman year of college. I honestly can't remember if I did that or he did. Apart a semester. Then I broke up with him for good first semester junior year of college. He was not happy. He started dating a friend of a friend like two months later which was fine.
He broke up with me. I was devastated. We continued to fool around for the first several months of my senior year of college.
He did it while we were down at the shore in ONE car. On a Saturday night after we had already started drinking, so I had no choice but to stay in his shore house with he and his friends (who didn't know what was going on) until the next day, when I made him take me home. Such a gentleman.
When the guy I fell deeply in love with my senior year after one month of hooking up (lololol) went to college (he was a year older), he had no interest in hanging out with a high school chick when there were college girls to meet. I sank into a ridiculous depression and my mom had to drag me to the doctor to be medicated, lest I try to off myself over teenage heartbreak. (But for real, I had major depression going on in general.) I burned a CD labeled "Marshall songs" and cruised around singing my little heart out in my 2004 Grand AM, cursing the guy who had broken my heart.
Now, 11 years later, I just turned to Marshall in bed and admitted this. I'm pretty sure he's trying not to laugh.
I actually wouldn't even consider it my first serious relationship, as it wasn't one back then, and the guy between now and then was my first real relationship. But that story is less interesting.
I would really like to hear how you ended up back together!
mutual decision, I guess. I was the one to cry uncle and officially end it, but he cheated on me...for the second (that I know of, womp womp) time. We had been together for 8.5 years, starting in high school and lived together for 5+ of those years. It was such a relief, after the initial heartbreak.
When the guy I fell deeply in love with my senior year after one month of hooking up (lololol) went to college (he was a year older), he had no interest in hanging out with a high school chick when there were college girls to meet. I sank into a ridiculous depression and my mom had to drag me to the doctor to be medicated, lest I try to off myself over teenage heartbreak. (But for real, I had major depression going on in general.) I burned a CD labeled "Marshall songs" and cruised around singing my little heart out in my 2004 Grand AM, cursing the guy who had broken my heart.
Now, 11 years later, I just turned to Marshall in bed and admitted this. I'm pretty sure he's trying not to laugh.
I actually wouldn't even consider it my first serious relationship, as it wasn't one back then, and the guy between now and then was my first real relationship. But that story is less interesting.
i was going to say that i married mine, but our story is more similar to this. h and i met freshmen year of college and "hung out" for a couple months then he just stopped talking to me and avoided me which was a huge feat on our tiny college campus. there was other minor drama and lots of heartbreak on my end. i'm sure there were some ridiculous songs listened to in there as well.
Post by pinkdutchtulips on Mar 28, 2015 1:59:55 GMT -5
I was 19 and the idea of being a trailing spouse like my mom scared the ever loving crap out of me so I broke things off. Ironically it was 10 years later that he was back in SF after stops in Atlanta and SLC.
We started dating freshman year of high school and broke up right after I started college. He broke up with me but I initiated the conversation because I knew he wasn't happy. A few months later we got back together and dated for a little over a year when we broke up again. He wasn't a jerk or anything but I was a mess for a long time after that. Lots of angry / sad music (man I wish I had made a CD!). We stayed friendly and he married a wonderful person (I told him to keep her around when I met her).
I was dumped. Junior year of college. It was long distance, but I had just gotten back from a cruise with his family a few weeks prior. So, free cruise?
Anyway, we had dated for over three years. I was not willing to end this so quickly lololol. So I enforced a four week break, to which he obliged. We scheduled a date that we would make the final decision and he drove three hours to talk it out that day. He stayed for less than an hour and then drive back. I was devastated. Took me almost a year to get over him. When I did finally get over him, it was because I happened to run into him and he grew his hair long. Woof.
Also @justdairy @idaholakelady I had an amazing country cd of breakup songs that transitioned into happy songs for when I met someone new that a friend made. Damn I wish I could find it. I know "unanswered prayers" and "grandpa told me so" we're both on it.
Yeah. This is kinda what happened with me too. We were fighting, and he told me I was "going to hell with the rest of them". Meaning Jews. It was a mutual breakup lol.
Post by londoncalling on Mar 28, 2015 7:05:52 GMT -5
I was dumped by my high school boyfriend of 2 years. He was bisexual and needed to explore that without my "judgment." Apparently not thinking that your bf should be hooking up with other people (of either sex) = judgmental.
In the mix cd category I just found an old cd marked with an ex's birthday. Man was I a moody little shit 12 years ago! Funny thing is that ex and I are still friends and have lunch together often. I told him about the cd and we had a good laugh together.
Gah, another victim of the guy that wanted to play the field more in college. And spend more time with his frat.
We met at summer orientation and started dating the first day of class freshman year. Things were good till spring break, then we broke up but got back together by the end of the year. He transferred, we did long distance for a semester after a long distance summer. I transferred too. I think we broke up by the end of the year. No contact over the summer but then we continued to sleep together off and on junior year? Definitely my first love and it was a hard time getting over the whole thing.
When the guy I fell deeply in love with my senior year after one month of hooking up (lololol) went to college (he was a year older), he had no interest in hanging out with a high school chick when there were college girls to meet. I sank into a ridiculous depression and my mom had to drag me to the doctor to be medicated, lest I try to off myself over teenage heartbreak. (But for real, I had major depression going on in general.) I burned a CD labeled "Marshall songs" and cruised around singing my little heart out in my 2004 Grand AM, cursing the guy who had broken my heart.
Now, 11 years later, I just turned to Marshall in bed and admitted this. I'm pretty sure he's trying not to laugh.
I actually wouldn't even consider it my first serious relationship, as it wasn't one back then, and the guy between now and then was my first real relationship. But that story is less interesting.
I would really like to hear how you ended up back together!
Even after he left, I would see him on his college breaks because we had mutual friends. We would hook up, I would often get drunk and cry, it was a lovely situation, lol. He started dating someone about a year into college, and there was another drunk crying incident, and we stopped talking. I started dating my ex-boyfriend and I thought that would be that. Then, after 2.5 years without speaking or seeing each other, he graduated, his gf broke up with him, and he moved home. We saw each other at a party and kind of made up (as friends.) Then we would see each other randomly at bars. He again started dating and we again didn't see one another for close to 3 years, although this time, we were FB friends, so we still sort of knew what was happening in each other's lives. We ended up getting out of relationships at about the same time in 2011, he initiated contact, and things moved rather quickly from there! We were engaged a year later, married a year after that.
I broke up with him spring of my senior year of high school because things felt too serious. I was about to go to college and he wanted us to get an apartment together off-campus and basically be engaged to be engaged.
I wanted more freedom. Not necessarily just freedom to date other people, but freedom to arrive at college and do whatever I wanted, whether that be make a million friends or study all the time, or do things I didn't even know as a HS senior that I would one day want to do. Tying my life so closely to his so early on seemed, to me, an impediment to that.
I don't think it makes me an asshole (to quote bowies), I just don't think he was the right person for me to grow with, as much as I really liked him as a person and am still friends with him. I have never felt similarly held back from doing what I want by my relationship with DH. (And I met DH senior year of college, so was in a similar "I want to explore the world" mind set, which DH encouraged.)
He broke up with me over the phone while I was working. He wanted to be a frat guy without a girlfriend. I could hear his buddies in the background telling him to hurry up they wanted to go out.
We were high school sweethearts and we went to different colleges in the same state, but about an 8-10 hour drive apart from each other. We stayed together for most of the first year of college but I could tell his heart wasn't in it anymore. I was always the one to initiate contact and I would go days without hearing from him. He broke up with me, finally, and I was devastated. I can't remember if this happened in freshman or sophomore year of college. We remained in contact though.
Occasionally we would visit each other and hook up and then I would be devastated when it didn't result in getting back together. I did have a FWB relationship with a guy in my dorm. That certainly didn't help because I was more into it than he was. Then in my senior year I had a new boyfriend. He was wayyyyy too into me and I wasn't as into him so I dumped him.
First serious BF dated other people, we both graduated from college and he moved out of state for a job. I stayed in state and ended up meeting a new guy, my now DH.
Old BF and I remained in contact for a while, sending each other a happy bday text once a year and occasionally catching up on the phone. We both ended up married to other people, obv, and he has like 4 or 5 kids with his wife now. OMG
Anyway, I let him know when my dad passed away 3 years ago because he always loved my dad. He extended condolences and sent my mom flowers. He didn't attend the funeral (I didn't expect him to) but never spoke to me again after that. He did call my mom about a year later to apologize for not attending the funeral and she told him nobody ever expected him to and thanked him for his thoughts and concerns. None of us ever heard from him again, I think he feels guilty for not coming and doesn't know what to say. And I think it's ok to not talk to him anymore because i always used to have a "what if" thought in the back of my head every time I talked to him. For so long, he was "the one that got away." I certainly don't think we would have been happy together long term, and my DH is definitely the right one for me.