Post by DotAndBuzz on Mar 30, 2015 16:47:32 GMT -5
Ok, so I asked h directly why he didn't wash her face. He said that he asked her about it, and apparently she did try to wash it when she got to school, but it didn't all wash off. So I guess what I saw was after one washing at school. So he's moved off my shit list, and onto to my wtf list.
Going to email the teacher too. Thank you for the reminder. I told you I'm not thinking clearly.
Post by RoxMonster on Mar 30, 2015 17:26:54 GMT -5
I am also baffled that her teacher didn't ask her about the marker, and when the answer was given (it wasn't like your daughter did this to herself for fun), why didn't the teacher help her scrub it off and notify you?
But regardless, I would email the teacher and also clue in the principal. Bully girl should be getting some consequences and she should be the one moved to the front of the bus. Does your school just have bus drivers or also monitors?
I cant understand how her teacher looked at her all day today and not once asked why there was red marker all over her face, and how she didnt help her wash it off. Wtf.
Post by sandyapples on Mar 30, 2015 17:32:04 GMT -5
Your poor DD.
DD1 had a bullying issue on the bus last month. An older girl pinched her and took her hat. DD1 is only 4 and was too scared to say anything. I wrote a note to her teacher letting them know what happened and the school was all over it. When I spoke to her teacher she was so mad that someone would hurt my DD. The girl has behaviour problems and is supposed to only sit with her sibling, and DD is supposed to sit with her bus buddy or another kindergartener. I'm not sure what happened that day but the school called the bus company to make sure it disn't happen again. The other girl was sent to the vice principal and made to apologize. The vice principal and DD also practiced yelling stop if someone is bothering her. I was very happy with the way her school handled the whole situation.
I think contacting the teacher is a good first step. If the issue isn't resolved to your satisfaction I would go to the principal.
I'd contact the principal to discuss the overall issues between your DD and this child since they are happening outside of classroom time and to make her fully aware of the scope of the problem.
I'd contact transportation to handle the bus issue directly (have the child moved to the front behind the driver, far away from your DD).
I'd contact the teacher to ask why she didn't bring it to the attention of the administration. It seems that your DD did attempt to wash it off (the teacher may have sent her to the bathroom to do so or told the teacher that she had already tried to wash it when the teacher saw it) and your DH was there and aware (so no need to contact you to say "hey, kid has marker on her face") BUT she should have asked your DD how it happened, brought it to the attention of someone in the front office, and called to let you know the rundown of how the school would be handling the situation. Before you do that, I'd be questioning your DD about her interaction with her teacher about the marker on her face (in case your DD told her that she did it to herself or something).
ETA: The principal can let you know if you need to contact transportation yourself or if she has the power to handle it. It varies by district.
The vice principal and DD also practiced yelling stop if someone is bothering her.
After our first punching incident where I had to explain that it wasn't an accident if someone kept punching you but saying sorry, DS had a talk with the principal and then with us on what to do if it happened again, basically yelling stop as loud as he can. The bus driver will stop the bus to break up incidents but she is limited in what can be done on the bus. The bus driver has always directed DS and the troublemaker to the vice principal or principal from the bus and he tells her what happened like it is his job. He can't remember what he ate for lunch most days, but has given clear recollections the last two times it has happened.
I particularly love the calls from the principal because she calls everyone in the retelling "friend". Though last time she said "clearly the kid is not his friend, but I have to call them that". Then DS names names to me the second he gets off the bus.
Post by DotAndBuzz on Mar 30, 2015 19:14:17 GMT -5
ok - I've got this drafted. evaluate me
Hello Ms. Principal,
I'm writing out of concern regarding an event which is the most recent in a series of bullying of my daughter, N Lastname. She was in the same class as this student last year, and I requested that they not be placed in the same class this year, understanding that they will still have the potential for interactions outside the classroom. I very much appreciate your accommodating that request in class assignments for the current school year. Unfortunately, over the past year, she's had various belongings of hers taken by this particular student (her former assigned seatmate), and thrown around the bus on the trips both to and from school. She has also told me many times about when she was smashed against the window by her (now former) seatmate "playing."
I've tried to resolve the issue by encouraging my daughter to speak up directly to this student, to the bus driver or her teacher, as well as speaking to the driver directly about my concerns. N has had her seat moved on the bus, however today it became clear that she is continuing to be bullied by this student on her bus. Today she arrived at school with marker on her face, which was put there by (do I name the bully in this letter at all? Or keep that for the in person meeting?) on the ride to school. She attempted to wash it off when she got to school, but was unsuccessful, so spent the day with red marks on her face.
This is of particular concern, as not only is it another incident of bullying, but it presents a substantial safety issue: a writing instrument was close to her eyes, on a vehicle in motion, not to mention the logistics involved in this student getting to her, as they no longer share a seat.
I would like to meet with you to discuss this in person, and am available all day Tuesday. I'll be bringing N to school tomorrow, as I'm concerned that the bus is no longer a safe mode of transportation for her. Thank you in advance for your attention to this matter.
Post by Mrs. ChanandlerBong on Mar 30, 2015 19:21:51 GMT -5
I would make it shorter.
Hello Ms. Principal,
There is a matter that I need to bring to your attention. As per our discussions last year, my child has had issues with Bully McBullerson. I appreciate your accomodation in making sure taht the students were not placed in the same classroom this year.
However, this has not completely resolved the situation. The students still ride the same bus and due to negative interactions earlier in the year, my child's seat was moved to help put a stop to these interactions. At this point, this is no longer an acceptable situation.
She is continuing to be bullied by this student on her bus. Today she arrived at school with marker on her face, which was drawn on her by Bully McBullerson on the ride to school. She attempted to wash it off when she got to school, but was unsuccessful, so spent the day with red marks on her face.
This is of particular concern, as not only is it another incident of bullying, but it presents a substantial safety issue: a writing instrument was close to her eyes, on a vehicle in motion, not to mention the logistics involved in this student getting to her, as they no longer share a seat.
I would like to meet with you to discuss this in person, and am available all day Tuesday. I'll be bringing N to school tomorrow, as I'm concerned that the bus is no longer a safe mode of transportation for her. Thank you in advance for your attention to this matter.
Post by wildfloweragain on Mar 30, 2015 20:00:53 GMT -5
Eh, the letter doesn't have to be perfect. The principal can understand your version of the letter and should set up a time with you. I think you should name the other kid so principal can be prepared (contact other parent, talk to kid about it, look in his/her records about kid, etc.) so your meeting can be more productive - doesn't have to cut it short to go collecting info.
As an admin I like Chandler's better than yours overall BUT I would also like an opportunity to address it with the kid in question before meeting you…because essentially I am going to meet you, tell you I need to investigate, then meet with you again. So essentially I want a heads up that this happened - by phone, email, in person - doesn't matter, and then the time to investigate, because I am never really going to be able to tell you what I am planning to do, or take any action, until I look into the manner further. So if you want to put it into writing, with lots of details, to make sure you have it in writing, go ahead. Otherwise I would just touch base with admin and say - not sure if you had any idea that this happened, it's pretty serious and I would like you to address it, please let me know when you plan to follow up with me.
My son was the victim of a bully last year and this is what I suggest. Call the principal. Tell him or her what happened. And then ask him or her what they are going to do to resolve this. That's their job. Use the word bully bc it helps. You don't need to call the girls mom or the bus drivers boss. The principal will resolve it. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It sucks. My son went through for a full school year without even telling me until I was there at field day and witnessed it myself! I had no freaking idea. But after going to the principal it stopped (the teacher was no help)
ETA: your letter is too nice. I mean this in a nice way but you gotta stand up for your kid and have a "fuck this bullshit" attitude.
How much marker are we talking? Because I can't necessarily blame the teacher (she's got other students, I assume, plus your DD's own dad was there. Perhaps she figured he would deal with it?) or the bus driver (his/her job is to drive the bus) when my kid comes home covered in marker every damn day.
I'd give the teacher a heads-up, but really, this needs to go to the bus company (they might need an aide on the bus, or they should either move the girl or kick her off the bus, if it's a pattern). I would not contact the mom.
Your letter looks good (assuming the school runs the buses). It's emotional, but hell, you're right.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Greetings from federal prison! By now I'm sure you're aware of the series of incidents that ultimately resulted in my incarceration. Due to my pending appeal, I'm not at liberty to discuss further, but I'm sure we can both agree that my daughter's marker-free face was well worth this minor setback. Education is so important.
As we never scheduled a proper meeting to discuss the incident, please pencil me in for a face-to-face confrontation to take place in 3-5 years (assuming good behavior and credit for time served). My road to redemption will be long, but my vengeance will be swift and thorough upon my release.
Please disregard my last sentence, although I meant it sincerely.
Post by groovybuttons on Mar 30, 2015 20:45:20 GMT -5
Do you know if your busses have security cameras? If so, I'd ask for them to be reviewed. If a kid is leaning over the back of the seat and drawing on someone's face and the driver did nothing then this presents a safety issue in my opinion. Why didn't the driver see that someone (the bully) wasn't in their seat properly?
Greetings from federal prison! By now I'm sure you're aware of the series of incidents that ultimately resulted in my incarceration. Due to my pending appeal, I'm not at liberty to discuss further, but I'm sure we can both agree that my daughter's marker-free face was well worth this minor setback. Education is so important.
As we never scheduled a proper meeting to discuss the incident, please pencil me in for a face-to-face confrontation to take place in 3-5 years (assuming good behavior and credit for time served). My road to redemption will be long, but my vengeance will be swift and thorough upon my release.
Please disregard my last sentence, although I meant it sincerely.
Post by speckledfrog on Mar 30, 2015 21:02:44 GMT -5
I agree that the letter has too much information. Perhaps something like:
Dear Principal,
Today N came home from school with marker on her face, put there by Other Kid while on the bus this morning. I'd like to set up a meeting to discuss this, the ongoing issue N has had with Other Kid, and what we can do to ensure N's physical safety and sense of security while on the bus. I am available XYZ. Please feel free to contact me via phone or email. Thank you.
This child battered your daughter. That's battery. And it's a crime and a tort. I don't know if the child is old enough to commit a tort, or a crime, but that's what it is, and that's how I would refer to it. Maybe not to the parents, but to the school.
I don't think this is on the bus driver though. She has to drive the bus, she can't supervise behavior too. But it is odd that there isn't another adult who rides to supervise this stuff. Even when I was young there was an adult supervisor so the driver could, well, drive.
This child battered your daughter. That's battery. And it's a crime and a tort. I don't know if the child is old enough to commit a tort, or a crime, but that's what it is, and that's how I would refer to it. Maybe not to the parents, but to the school.
I don't think this is on the bus driver though. She has to drive the bus, she can't supervise behavior too. But it is odd that there isn't another adult who rides to supervise this stuff. Even when I was young there was an adult supervisor so the driver could, well, drive.
There isn't another adult on the bus. They barely had funding for buses this year, and there's drama w/ the company supplying the buses. Definitely not enough $ for an adult supervisor.
Although, IMO, if kids can't behave themselves on the bus, they shouldn't be on the bus. I went to an urban district k through 12, and we never had bus minders. You screw around, you're off the bus. The end. The bus ride is 15 minutes. These kids know how to behave, they just don't, because they've never had actual consequences enforced. It's insane.
and ETA - I'm heading to bed now, but I'll be up bright and early to make sure some sort of email greets Ms. Principal and Teacher tomorrow morning, so if I don't reply, it's because I'm trying to simmer down enough to sleep tonight so I can be on my game tomorrow . Thanks all.
This child battered your daughter. That's battery. And it's a crime and a tort. I don't know if the child is old enough to commit a tort, or a crime, but that's what it is, and that's how I would refer to it. Maybe not to the parents, but to the school.
I don't think this is on the bus driver though. She has to drive the bus, she can't supervise behavior too. But it is odd that there isn't another adult who rides to supervise this stuff. Even when I was young there was an adult supervisor so the driver could, well, drive.
My school bus driver sold us Slim Jims and blue blow pops that he bought en masse at Sam's Club for like 50 cents apiece. Turned a nice profit from a bus full of free lunch kids. My mom found out and had the whole operation shut down. Lol.
Although he did keep us in line by threatening to take the snacks-for-purchase away, so he might have been on to something.
Greetings from federal prison! By now I'm sure you're aware of the series of incidents that ultimately resulted in my incarceration. Due to my pending appeal, I'm not at liberty to discuss further, but I'm sure we can both agree that my daughter's marker-free face was well worth this minor setback. Education is so important.
As we never scheduled a proper meeting to discuss the incident, please pencil me in for a face-to-face confrontation to take place in 3-5 years (assuming good behavior and credit for time served). My road to redemption will be long, but my vengeance will be swift and thorough upon my release.
Please disregard my last sentence, although I meant it sincerely.
All the worst to you, and only you.
Yours, Inmate #GBCN1663$28
OMFG, I love you. The letter even came with her inmate bling bling number, lol. I need to print this out and hang it in my work office.
If this child has behavior issues, she could be removed from this route. They could assign her a seat. They could put a para on the bus to manage behavior.
In most places, the bus drivers job is to drive the bus safely- not to police the contents.