Post by shamrockshake on Apr 18, 2015 19:41:56 GMT -5
I'll accept money from anyone who wants to give me money I've never asked for it, but I would ask my parents if I really needed it and they'd give it to me
I have only asked for a big chunk of money once from my dad. I was in tears when I asked. I could not make rent one month when I was about 23. I was finishing up school And my hours were cut at work. I felt like a failure. I've never asked for money since.
Although I don't think there is any shame in asking for help when you need it, I do think there is a difference between asking for money and simply accepting t when offered.
Our parents have been amazingly generous. I hope we can do that for our kids someday
This exactly. And my MIL, who is not a wealthy woman, is very generous with her time/babysitting/ cooking dinner for us. I hope to pay that forward to my children as well.
Yes. They've never offered crazy amounts and we've never counted on it since it's random and inconsistent.
But we've never asked and been fortunate enough not to need to. My parents and ILs both try to be fair/even between their kids so we also don't worry about it causing issues with our siblings (even though neither my husband nor I would care too much if they gave our sibs more).
Eta: also, thus far, it hasn't come with strings. We're financially secure and would have not a qualm about refusing in a hot minute if so.
If my parents offer to take us to dinner or offer to let us use their timeshare with them, I don't say no and I don't feel uncomfortable about it. If we use their timeshare with them we always treat them to a couple of nice meals at least.
We accept what's offered. All 3 of the parents we have are good with money and can afford what they give us. Sometimes it's a gift, but MIL has also financed things for us - meaning she paid for the car and the house in cash and then we pay her back with interest. She does the same for BIL. My parents are less generous, but do give us money sometimes.
Post by snipsnsnails on Apr 18, 2015 21:18:12 GMT -5
Absolutely. My father has always been an extremely generous person. It's one of his ways of showing his love, by feeling like he is taking care of his children. Even now that we're grown.
I have asked him for money exactly twice in my life-both times when I felt I had no other option and paid it back within 10 days. He never even expected me to repay it.
Now, he enjoys adding money to my kids' mutual fund accounts for college, paying for us to visit him and sending gifts for them ever once in a while. As he says, I should take it before my brothers take it all. Ha, my brothers accept a lot of money from him, but they're in less stable financial situations. That's a-ok. I appreciate his generosity, but never expect it.
I have never had that problem my parents wouldn't give me a dime without expecting it back prob with interest.
However I know how I am going to be with my kids and I would want to do it for them and help them out or just do it for them ya know. So I think if my parents wanted to pay for my plane tickets or something I'd be okay with it
I have no problem taking money from my parents. They give as part of their estate planning. DH's parents don't have any money. His mom gets deeply discounted airfares and will buy us tickets sometimes. If she offers, we'll say yes, but we never ask.
Post by cabbagecabbage on Apr 18, 2015 22:10:42 GMT -5
I accept. My mom shows love through gifts, so she is likely to shove one or two twenties in my hand "for gas!" or "for the baby!" and it's futile to fight. We accepted money from my H's grandparents to help with our down payment because they were clear it was inheritance they wanted to watch us enjoy now. I never ask. My dad and H's mom don't give money or generous gifts even though they could but that's not my business. When my daughter grows up, I hope I can help her out and be generous.
Usually just for birthday and Christmas gifts. My folks are very generous with us and the kids, and it used to make my husband uncomfortable. Over the years he has figured out that gifts are their love language and he is appreciative. They have no bills aside from their utilities and a car payment, their house is paid for, they have government insurance, so while they're not rich, they have a lot of disposable income. If they want to put money in the kids' bank accounts or pay for my dog to go to the kennel so we can visit longer during holidays, I won't tell them no.
Post by karmasabiotch on Apr 18, 2015 22:39:42 GMT -5
My Mom helped pay for fertility treatments. I didn't ask, she offered. .She considered it an investment in her future. I wish she was still here to see that investment. J doesn't remember her.
The only other close family I gave is my sister and I wouldn't ask her unless it was a big emergency. I feel like there might be weird tension between us, although I know she would give it to me.
I try really hard to live in my means even though it means I miss out on a lot of things that I would enjoy and used too. I gave my inheritencr from my Mom but I don't ever touch that and hopefully will never need too.
Post by cinnamoncox0 on Apr 19, 2015 8:53:50 GMT -5
My in laws give us $ and my mom pays for things for my kids sometimes. They're in a position to do so, who am I to refuse. If they were less well off or if it were keeping them from living how they want, I would t take it but until then, fine by me.
Like others have mentioned, it deoends on the circumstances. My father in law just gave us his old BMW since he bought a new one. It's 20 years old but he loved it and didnt want to sell it, so he gave us his. I think it's sweet. We have two cars already so it's really just a "date night" car.