Where the hell did they get dressed that food couldn't have been delivered?
The entire time from 12:30 when they got to the church - where they got dressed - until a few minutes before the ceremony started, they were taking pictures, so I'm not sure what time they would have had to eat it? One of the GM wives - who doesn't drive so couldn't go out herself to get them anything - was there the whole time. I thought DH was exaggerating, she told me he wasn't.
Then she should have stopped for another snack, sneaked out at some point to get one, etc. I'm still putting this on her. The venue should be reasonably accommodating, but if you have unique food issues sometimes you'll have to make detours.
This doesn't sound like the most fabulous wedding ever by any means, and there were plenty of missteps along the way, but I do think you're trying to find fault in some aspects of this.
All I'm saying is, when we had my daughter's baptism, where this friend and the bride and groom were guests, I made it a point to tell the caterer I needed a special meal for my friend with celiac disease and they not only gave her a GF pasta dish, they gave her leftovers to take home.
Little touches like that MEAN SOMETHING to people. My friend still thanks me for going out of my way for her even though it was no trouble at all. When you invite people to your event, that's what you do to be an adequate host.
Assuming you are aware of this. I swear to you that I had no idea some of my wedding guests kept Kosher until they told me when they RSVP'd. I would not have had Kosher options for them otherwise.
I am kind of surprised that if anyone was going to find out the food (or lack thereof) situation ahead of time, it wasn't your GF friend.
But anyway, it sounds like a sucky situation all around.
Also, to put this in perspective... When I was 17, my cousin got married. My aunt and her family are Baptist and they had a cake and punch-type reception at the church hall afterwards. The church ladies prepped all the food, of which there were some hot items, and some more filling things like sandwiches, plus vegetables, fruit, etc.
With the exception of the alcohol and the fact that at my cousin's wedding they were up front about the type of reception, one of the only differences between that wedding and this one was that this one was in a prettier spot, and that one had more food.
All I'm saying is, when we had my daughter's baptism, where this friend and the bride and groom were guests, I made it a point to tell the caterer I needed a special meal for my friend with celiac disease and they not only gave her a GF pasta dish, they gave her leftovers to take home.
Little touches like that MEAN SOMETHING to people. My friend still thanks me for going out of my way for her even though it was no trouble at all. When you invite people to your event, that's what you do to be an adequate host.
Assuming you are aware of this. I swear to you that I had no idea some of my wedding guests kept Kosher until they told me when they RSVP'd. I would not have had Kosher options for them otherwise.
I am kind of surprised that if anyone was going to find out the food (or lack thereof) situation ahead of time, it wasn't your GF friend.
But anyway, it sounds like a sucky situation all around.
I said further down that the husband of this woman (and the woman herself) is a close friend. I'd even venture so far as to say that if they had a 6th groomsman, it would have been him. The groom knew/knows her health issues.
No one will forget how bad their wedding is. The question is, will anyone ever say anything, or will the new wife manage to pull the friend away from your group (b/c from your posts it seems that is what may happen).
Yes, there should have been a meal, but I would have asked about the meal and then left to get something to eat. This happened at my cousin's wedding; they bar hopped so much in between the church and reception that even though the meal was ready, they couldn't serve it b/c the B&G weren't there. My sister had 2 little kids so we spoke to my aunt, they weren't sure where cousin and wife were, so we explained to her and left to get something to eat.
Yes, they screwed up, but staying that long to complain how late it was when you finally did eat starts going into martyr territory. Your DH did not have a choice about lunch, but you did about dinner.
Assuming you are aware of this. I swear to you that I had no idea some of my wedding guests kept Kosher until they told me when they RSVP'd. I would not have had Kosher options for them otherwise.
I am kind of surprised that if anyone was going to find out the food (or lack thereof) situation ahead of time, it wasn't your GF friend.
But anyway, it sounds like a sucky situation all around.
I said further down that the husband of this woman (and the woman herself) is a close friend. I'd even venture so far as to say that if they had a 6th groomsman, it would have been him. The groom knew/knows her health issues.
I had major dietary restrictions all fall while I was nursing a thrush-prone infant. There were many times that DH offered to cook and completely zoned out on my restrictions. I had to start asking what exactly he planned to cook any time he offered.
Your friends seem thoughtless otherwise, but I can see how it might be hard to keep track of every guest's diet, regardless of how close they are.
He needs to know why exactly? So he can do better next time he gets married?
I'm getting the sense that spunky hopes he'll get a wedding re-do with a different woman.
Never going to happen. She is the most devout Catholic person under the age of 60 I have ever met. Divorce would be like the travesty of the century.
It's more like I wish he didn't marry her in the first place. His ex/one of my best friends was far more his intellectual equal, and better at calling him on his crap. Match made in heaven, IMO, but his parents intervened when she wanted them to move in together and they broke up. This girl is more like a doormat.
This reminds me of a wedding I was at-except they kept all the apps (and by all, I mean 2 trays) at the parents of the bride table. This was pre kids for us, so we just sucked it up for 2'hrs and then left for food. The groom was pissed that people were leaving. He said they paid a lot for the DJ and no one would be there. Maybe you should FEED people instead of spending tons on music/lights. He didn't talk to H for nearly a year after that. People are dense
I'm getting the sense that spunky hopes he'll get a wedding re-do with a different woman.
Never going to happen. She is the most devout Catholic person under the age of 60 I have ever met. Divorce would be like the travesty of the century.
It's more like I wish he didn't marry her in the first place. His ex/one of my best friends was far more his intellectual equal, and better at calling him on his crap. Match made in heaven, IMO, but his parents intervened when she wanted them to move in together and they broke up. This girl is more like a doormat.
The plot thickens!
Do you think that perhaps that is shaping your perception of the whole thing?
Again, admittedly a shitshow but you do seem kind of worked up about what really amounts to a few hours of not-a-great-party. (Three polls worth of worked up -- and for at least one of those polls you think it is unfathomable that a single one of us could disagree with you -- that's not how polls are supposed to work!!!)
I guess I was just building the wedding up in my head - because of what the B&G said about how good the food was at the venue, the photobooth, oyster bar, etc. - and in the end it was just a huge bomb. They just missed at every turn when it came to basics of being a good host/hostess, IMO. Except the bar, because the groom's parents are awesome.
I think their planning sucks, but think it's equally weird your friend didn't have her own meal/snack. Did she not get sick from the dumplings? Those are made with wheat flour in addition to potatoes.
It was like a potato puree that was chilled and rolled into balls. There was no flour, it wasn't like gnocchi.
ETA: I asked, I had to. I mean, I had to describe to a chef and a catering manager what "celiac disease" means.
This sounds like the wedding on the riverboat we went to years ago. We all ended up at Wendy's afterwards. You don't need to throw the wedding of the year, but people will remember too little food and that will be ALL they will remember. If you don't want/can't afford to feed/water your guests elope or be really clear that it's a champagne toast and cake reception and set the time accordingly - either early or late. If you're throwing a party during mealtime - you should feed your guests a meal. If you don't want to feed your guests a meal - don't have your party during mealtime.
I went to a wedding like this 11 years ago. Ceremony was at noon, reception followed. Beautiful reception hall overlooking Lake Michigan. BUT only appetizers. No alcohol, except champagne for the toast for the wedding party only. No real pop either, just some fancy schmancy soda. We left the reception and proceeded directly to a restaurant to get something to eat. LOL. We still joke about this wedding on the regular.
I'm still pretty pissed about the over the top wedding I went to that had a friggen caviar station but a fake cake so I feel you. People can really suprise you with weddings.
I think their planning sucks, but think it's equally weird your friend didn't have her own meal/snack. Did she not get sick from the dumplings? Those are made with wheat flour in addition to potatoes.
It was like a potato puree that was chilled and rolled into balls. There was no flour, it wasn't like gnocchi.
ETA: I asked, I had to. I mean, I had to describe to a chef and a catering manager what "celiac disease" means.
So they served what were more or less chilled mashed potato balls? This just gets worse and worse.
The biggest misconception for those planning their wedding is that heavy apps are cheaper than an entrée. I am side eyeing several people for this ridiculousness. 1) The bride & groom for thinking that's an adequate amount of food for the guests who have spent 7+ hours attending their superspecialday. 2) The event/caterering manager for not explaining that this was a poor choice. 3) The dickheads that likely didn't RSVP. I mean, how do you have 150 paid for but 180 show up? Unless that was done on purpose for which I am REALLY side eying the HELL out of the B&G.
This sounds like the wedding on the riverboat we went to years ago. We all ended up at Wendy's afterwards. You don't need to throw the wedding of the year, but people will remember too little food and that will be ALL they will remember. If you don't want/can't afford to feed/water your guests elope or be really clear that it's a champagne toast and cake reception and set the time accordingly - either early or late. If you're throwing a party during mealtime - you should feed your guests a meal. If you don't want to feed your guests a meal - don't have your party during mealtime.
I went to a wedding like this 11 years ago. Ceremony was at noon, reception followed. Beautiful reception hall overlooking Lake Michigan. BUT only appetizers. No alcohol,except champagne for the toast for the wedding party only. No real pop either, just some fancy schmancy soda. We left the reception and proceeded directly to a restaurant to get something to eat. LOL. We still joke about this wedding on the regular.
So the rest of the guests had to sit there and watch the wedding party get served champagne and make toasts? :-#
Post by polarbearfans on Apr 20, 2015 17:34:35 GMT -5
I would have left. That is crazy. We focused our money on good food (added extra options), open bar, and good music. Every decision we made was with our guests in mind. We cut decorative items to have things that our guest would really want like valet parking in the city.
My one friend had a dry wedding, but it was still our favorite. Great food and fun times dancing. Room large enough that people could move away from the music to chat.
I cannot imagine inviting people to an all day wedding and not having easily assessable food or not enough. The wedding we went to last summer it was tough to get apps at the cocktail hour and people were getting cranky hungry near the end, but dinner was plentiful. The wedding had started very late, so a lot of people were hungry by the end of the ceremony.
Post by spunkarella on Apr 20, 2015 17:42:01 GMT -5
I don't judge budget weddings even a little bit. A potluck or cake and punch in the social hall wedding with word of mouth/Facebook invite is perfectly fine.
But dropping dollar bills for a nice venue and other fanciness, then not feeding people at meal time? Not cool. Not cool at all.
Hanger would have forced my early exit. Kudos to you for staying.
On a related note, I would be very curious to attend a big NJ/NY wedding. I don't think that I will ever have the opportunity, does watching RHONJ count? The closest I ever got was marrying someone from NJ. So I had numerous NJ natives at my traditional, Southern country club wedding. At least I fed them! I did nearly have a coronary when I started receiving wedding gifts in the form of very large checks from my new NJ relatives.
On a related note, I would be very curious to attend a big NJ/NY wedding. I don't think that I will ever have the opportunity, does watching RHONJ count?
Please, please, PLEASE do not think we're all like those monsters.
On a related note, I would be very curious to attend a big NJ/NY wedding. I don't think that I will ever have the opportunity, does watching RHONJ count?
Please, please, PLEASE do not think we're all like those monsters.
Come on, you can't tell me that you've never flipped a table!