So, wedding story, for those who are interested

[Deleted]

DH was the best man in a wedding this past weekend ~2.5 hours from home in the MD/VA/DC area. The groom is a good friend of ours, and my daughter's godfather (to give you an idea of the closeness).
The reception was 5-10PM at an old mansion now used for events like weddings. There was a Catholic ceremony in the afternoon and a minimal gap, basically just the time it took to drive from the church after the ceremony to the reception. The church and venue were ~30 minutes apart.
First, there was trouble with parking, but that was resolved. There was limited food at the cocktail hour, but the other groomsmen's wives/SOs (all friends of mine) I was with all figured we'd eat at dinner.
5:45 rolls around and the bridal party is lining up for introductions. There is no movement on behalf of the wait staff to set up more tables, or set places at the limited tables (9 tables of 6 for 150+ - someone said 180 - people) there were. So among the SOs, we start thinking, hm, this is strange, there doesn't appear that there's a dinner.
So they do the introductions and I go over to DH and ask "did you know there's no dinner?" and DH says "what? I was never told that! And (groom's name) didn't even let us stop for lunch"
There were 3 waiters for all these people and the passed apps were slower than slow. Like 1 tray every 10 minutes. Every time the main table, which consisted of cheese, charcuterie, bread, crackers, marinated olives, roasted peppers, mushrooms and artichokes, was replenished, people descended on it like vultures. There was a fruit display in a room down the hall that was not touched, comparatively.
One of our friends that was with us is both diabetic and has celiac disease. Therefore, she could not eat any of the bread or crackers, but was beginning to get lightheaded. There was nothing with rice or potatoes, both the complex carbs she needed. It took me 20 minutes to get 1 plate of potato dumplings for her so she wouldn't go into shock. The staff was horrible, saying "just give her crackers or bread". People who serve food for a living should be aware of what food allergies/restrictions are.
So once it's all over and we got back to the hotel, and after we stopped at Arby's to get dinner at 10:30PM, DH told me the rest of the story.
DH and the GM left the hotel at 10:30 to meet the groom at the venue so he could drop off his car, then all of them go to the church to get dressed and take pictures. One of the GM spent his morning going to 2 stores to get a new tux jacket, as the original one had a defect, and he was sent to the wrong store originally. He didn't even have breakfast, so DH asked if they could stop for lunch. Groom says no, no time. Still no mention of no dinner, and now there's no lunch. So they all suffer through the ceremony (1.5 hours!) to get to the reception and not get dinner. And, barely got any food at the cocktail hour portion because, under direction of the bride, they had to do pictures first.


ETA: List of food

Table 1:
cheese
charcuterie
bread
crackers
marinated olives, roasted peppers, mushrooms and artichokes
Italian sausage in red sauce

Table 2:
Fruit

Oyster bar

Passed apps (very rarely seen):
Mini crab cakes
Potato dumplings (only saw once for my celiac/diabetic friend)
Ceviche
Ahi on a cracker/wafer
Quiche squares
Lamb on a stick

No stations

Alcohol was provided by the groom's parents. Otherwise, we're thinking it would have been cash bar or no alcohol.

[nessness]

5-10 pm with no dinner? Yeah, that's pretty ridiculous.

[irene adler]

Damn. I would be livid.


Would it have been tacky to order a pizza to be delivered to the reception? Or send someone on a food run if possible.

[mbcdefg]

Blech, what a trainwreck.

And now that's the ONLY thing people will remember about that wedding, even if it was otherwise beautiful, right?

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2015 10:23:50 GMT -5 irene adler said:

Damn. I would be livid.


Would it have been tacky to order a pizza to be delivered to the reception? Or send someone on a food run if possible.

I told my diabetic/celiac friend I would go out for food especially for her. She and her H ended up leaving early so they could get food.

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2015 10:25:43 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

Blech, what a trainwreck.

And now that's the ONLY thing people will remember about that wedding, even if it was otherwise beautiful, right?

That's all I will remember, certainly. But like most of these things, even when they're beyond crappy no one tells the bride/groom/parents that they were.

[jinkies]

What were you doing for 5 hours if there was no dinner? Holy crap, this sounds horrible.

[itsme]

I wouldn't have been able to handle that.

[Onetwothree]

I wouldn't care if I was in the wedding party, you don't feed me lunch and dinner, me and my gift would have been leaving.

[raangoli]

Sooo no food, but there was alcohol, right? Maybe that was their grand plan? Get people drunk on little food and no one will think twice about the lack of seating for food?

[v]

Apr 20, 2015 10:26:11 GMT -5 @mrsspunky said:

Apr 20, 2015 10:23:50 GMT -5 irene adler said:

Damn. I would be livid.


Would it have been tacky to order a pizza to be delivered to the reception? Or send someone on a food run if possible.

I told my diabetic/celiac friend I would go out for food especially for her. She and her H ended up leaving early so they could get food.

I have to say, if you're both diabetic and celiac, it would probably be smart to carry a safe snack with you any time you'll be out of the house for a while.  It would be great if this place could accommodate her, but it is kind of asking a lot of the venue to expect readily-available gluten-free AND high carb items.  One or the other, sure.  Both in one item?  I can see how they might not have that ready to go at all times.

[irene adler]

Apr 20, 2015 10:26:11 GMT -5 @mrsspunky said:

Apr 20, 2015 10:23:50 GMT -5 irene adler said:

Damn. I would be livid.


Would it have been tacky to order a pizza to be delivered to the reception? Or send someone on a food run if possible.

I told my diabetic/celiac friend I would go out for food especially for her. She and her H ended up leaving early so they could get food.

That's awesome of you.  How shitty of the hosts, though.  What a terrible situation. 

I'm so sorry this happened.  

[ddi741]

I'm sorry, was this the first wedding either the Bride or Groom had ever been to? How did they not think their guests wouldn't want a meal during that time period.

How did they not think their bridal party would not want food during the day.

I can't imagine how I would have handled being there. I probably would have left for a while to get food, bridal party or not.

[irene adler]

I am now feeling very smug about our choice to not only host a sit down dinner but also to serve pizza at 10 pm. ::hairflip::

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2015 10:30:57 GMT -5 v said:

Apr 20, 2015 10:26:11 GMT -5 @mrsspunky said:

I told my diabetic/celiac friend I would go out for food especially for her. She and her H ended up leaving early so they could get food.

I have to say, if you're both diabetic and celiac, it would probably be smart to carry a safe snack with you any time you'll be out of the house for a while.  It would be great if this place could accommodate her, but it is kind of asking a lot of the venue to expect readily-available gluten-free AND high carb items.  One or the other, sure.  Both in one item?  I can see how they might not have that ready to go at all times.

She ate her usual snack on the way to the church, since it took longer than expected from the hotel. She had 1 granola bar left, certainly not enough to sustain a person for 5 hours.

[ddi741]

I still can't get over this, I know my relatives and some of my friends would have straight out asked me when dinner was being served.

[Deleted]

That sucks! Seriously if people want to do that they should start the reception at 8 pm. I am so irritable when my blood sugar is low.

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2015 10:32:29 GMT -5 milsaroo said:

Apr 20, 2015 10:23:50 GMT -5 irene adler said:

Damn. I would be livid.


Would it have been tacky to order a pizza to be delivered to the reception? Or send someone on a food run if possible.

Tacky or not, it would have happened. I don't love you enough to go that long without eating.


Was there a bar? I'm guessing it was cash only...

There was a bar. Based upon the FOB's speech, the only reason it was free, or even a bar at all, was because the groom's parents paid for it.

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2015 10:32:42 GMT -5 ddi741 said:

I'm sorry, was this the first wedding either the Bride or Groom had ever been to? How did they not think their guests wouldn't want a meal during that time period.

How did they not think their bridal party would not want food during the day.

I can't imagine how I would have handled being there. I probably would have left for a while to get food, bridal party or not.

Groom attended our wedding. Groom was best man in one of his GM's wedding. Groom and ex-gf, one of my best friends, attended many weddings together in the 3 years they dated.
Bride is one of 6 children and 4 of her siblings are married.

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2015 10:36:27 GMT -5 milsaroo said:

How was the invitation worded?

I threw it away on Saturday night, I don't remember.

[v]

Apr 20, 2015 10:34:05 GMT -5 @mrsspunky said:

Apr 20, 2015 10:30:57 GMT -5 v said:

I have to say, if you're both diabetic and celiac, it would probably be smart to carry a safe snack with you any time you'll be out of the house for a while.  It would be great if this place could accommodate her, but it is kind of asking a lot of the venue to expect readily-available gluten-free AND high carb items.  One or the other, sure.  Both in one item?  I can see how they might not have that ready to go at all times.

She ate her usual snack on the way to the church, since it took longer than expected from the hotel. She had 1 granola bar left, certainly not enough to sustain a person for 5 hours.

Then she should have stopped for another snack, sneaked out at some point to get one, etc.  I'm still putting this on her.  The venue should be reasonably accommodating, but if you have unique food issues sometimes you'll have to make detours.

This doesn't sound like the most fabulous wedding ever by any means, and there were plenty of missteps along the way, but I do think you're trying to find fault in some aspects of this. 

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2015 10:43:26 GMT -5 v said:

Apr 20, 2015 10:34:05 GMT -5 @mrsspunky said:

She ate her usual snack on the way to the church, since it took longer than expected from the hotel. She had 1 granola bar left, certainly not enough to sustain a person for 5 hours.

Then she should have stopped for another snack, sneaked out at some point to get one, etc.  I'm still putting this on her.  The venue should be reasonably accommodating, but if you have unique food issues sometimes you'll have to make detours.

This doesn't sound like the most fabulous wedding ever by any means, and there were plenty of missteps along the way, but I do think you're trying to find fault in some aspects of this. 

All I'm saying is, when we had my daughter's baptism, where this friend and the bride and groom were guests, I made it a point to tell the caterer I needed a special meal for my friend with celiac disease and they not only gave her a GF pasta dish, they gave her leftovers to take home.

Little touches like that MEAN SOMETHING to people. My friend still thanks me for going out of my way for her even though it was no trouble at all. When you invite people to your event, that's what you do to be an adequate host.

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2015 10:42:17 GMT -5 al dente said:

Apr 20, 2015 10:30:57 GMT -5 v said:

I have to say, if you're both diabetic and celiac, it would probably be smart to carry a safe snack with you any time you'll be out of the house for a while.  It would be great if this place could accommodate her, but it is kind of asking a lot of the venue to expect readily-available gluten-free AND high carb items.  One or the other, sure.  Both in one item?  I can see how they might not have that ready to go at all times.

Yes. It also sounds like the bride and groom may have not planned/paid for 150 guests if there was only 3 servers and barely any food. It probably took 20 minutes to get those potatoes because it wasn't on the menu at all so they made it up special.

There was a B list/2nd round of invites. There were definitely 150+ planned for.

[cajunmom]

Apr 20, 2015 10:42:17 GMT -5 al dente said:

Apr 20, 2015 10:30:57 GMT -5 v said:

I have to say, if you're both diabetic and celiac, it would probably be smart to carry a safe snack with you any time you'll be out of the house for a while.  It would be great if this place could accommodate her, but it is kind of asking a lot of the venue to expect readily-available gluten-free AND high carb items.  One or the other, sure.  Both in one item?  I can see how they might not have that ready to go at all times.

Yes. It also sounds like the bride and groom may have not planned/paid for 150 guests if there was only 3 servers and barely any food. It probably took 20 minutes to get those potatoes because it wasn't on the menu at all so they made it up special.

Wouldn't they have invited those guests? They most likely paid for the bare minimum for the catering and didn't care that it wasn't enough to feed everyone that they invited. 

[Pom]

So the wedding was at 2 or 3pm with no meal service (other than light apps) and the reception ended at 10pm. And they didn't even get the groomsmen lunch? That is insane for anyone to think that is acceptable. I too am curious what the hell you do at a reception from 5-10 with no meal? If I was a guest, I'd be pissed. I don't think it was out of the realm of possibility for your diabetic/celiac friend to assume there might be SOMETHING to eat she could manage with. I'd have left too.

[fortnightlily]

I'm pretty appalled on your behalf, and will say, this is NOT the norm for the weddings I've attended in the DC area (including my own).

[Deleted]

I just want to make sure I'm not crazy. The entire rehearsal dinner was a roast of the B&G, where the bride's family talked about her generosity, her thoughtfulness, all these amazing qualities I wish I possessed that just did not show in the execution of this event. Actions speak louder than words, and her/their actions said they didn't care about their guests, period.

[scout8]

That sounds miserable. I would have been crabby too.

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2015 10:47:55 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

This seems like a lot of posting that could be summed up with "didn't realize it was a poorly-planned cocktail reception". Ok, add in awkward time management during the day, but I would have just said "hell yes, there IS time to stop for lunch" if I were your H. Vicmo doesn't skip meals.

But as one of my polls asked, isn't it reasonable to expect the bride/groom will tell members of the bridal party that there isn't a meal? Or build in extra time to get food? I think it's reasonable for the groom to have said even as late as the night before when we were leaving the rehearsal dinner (where they also ran out of food but I digress) "hey guys just so you know the reception is apps only so plan ahead"

[Pom]

Apr 20, 2015 10:43:26 GMT -5 v said:

Apr 20, 2015 10:34:05 GMT -5 @mrsspunky said:

She ate her usual snack on the way to the church, since it took longer than expected from the hotel. She had 1 granola bar left, certainly not enough to sustain a person for 5 hours.

Then she should have stopped for another snack, sneaked out at some point to get one, etc.  I'm still putting this on her.  The venue should be reasonably accommodating, but if you have unique food issues sometimes you'll have to make detours.

This doesn't sound like the most fabulous wedding ever by any means, and there were plenty of missteps along the way, but I do think you're trying to find fault in some aspects of this. 

I don't see that at all.  You think it's fine not to serve a meal to anyone when the wedding and reception obviously ran for over the course of 7ish hours and nor was food even provided to the groomsmen ahead of time?  No one was aware there would be no meal?  I think this is pretty poor hospitality, regardless of special diet friend.