Post by blndsnbrdr on Apr 23, 2015 14:15:54 GMT -5
And...he's taken to posting about it on his FB wall. Not directly calling me out by name but very directly complaining about me. He's getting lots of sympathy because I gave him "an absolutely brutal beat down" and that my goal was to hurt him throughout our correspondence.
I honestly don't know what to do with this except to walk away.
Post by blndsnbrdr on Apr 23, 2015 15:54:46 GMT -5
It has been blown so far out of proportion!
A PT job of mine has been effected and mutual friends are head patting him...not sure if they know I'm the one he is pissed at or not. He has been taken down on the internet before [for other things], you'd think he would learn to reign it in!
I'm not FB friends with him [he unfriended me] so I can't just comment...I'm not willing to pull my FB feed into this he said/she said bullshit!
Post by InBetweenDays on Apr 23, 2015 16:28:43 GMT -5
Does he make money off these races? If he doesn't, it doesn't make him any less in the wrong. But if he does, and you were out there volunteering to help him set up for a race that would financially benefit him?? And he left you??? And then berated you for being upset?
I googled the group, and I'd imagine the advisory board would want to know about this. I mean talk about a liability!
Post by andrealynn on Apr 23, 2015 17:11:16 GMT -5
That is complete bullshit. I don't know what I would do in your shoes, but I hope you can find something that gives you peace and allows you to clear the air. The ultra community isn't that big, and I would worry that this is going to affect a lot more than just your ability to do his races, etc. in the future.
And...he's taken to posting about it on his FB wall. Not directly calling me out by name but very directly complaining about me. He's getting lots of sympathy because I gave him "an absolutely brutal beat down" and that my goal was to hurt him throughout our correspondence.
I honestly don't know what to do with this except to walk away.
You have two choices:
1. Stand up for yourself in a polite, cordial fashion that will make expose him as the professional asshat that he is. 2. Burn this fucking fuckface to the ground on social media.
@vtcupcake is wise. Must be that Ph.D.
Seriously, can we burn this fucker to the ground??? I'm ready to go nuclear on his stupid FB post. I don't care if he bans me (which he will), as I will no longer be attending any of his events anyway. All these people holding his hand and patting his head are pissing me the hell off.
1. Stand up for yourself in a polite, cordial fashion that will make expose him as the professional asshat that he is. 2. Burn this fucking fuckface to the ground on social media.
@vtcupcake is wise. Must be that Ph.D.
Seriously, can we burn this fucker to the ground??? I'm ready to go nuclear on his stupid FB post. I don't care if he bans me (which he will), as I will no longer be attending any of his events anyway. All these people holding his hand and patting his head are pissing me the hell off.
This guy is being a child. I know it's tough to ignore but I'd try and do that. You know he was in the wrong. I think if you slam him on social media things will get crazy. I would take the high road on this one
Someone needs to burn his ass to the ground, whether it's blndsnbrdr or reginaphalange72 or someone else. This is affecting your PT job and that's NOT cool (not that it WAS cool before but you know what I mean).
Seriously, can we burn this fucker to the ground??? I'm ready to go nuclear on his stupid FB post. I don't care if he bans me (which he will), as I will no longer be attending any of his events anyway. All these people holding his hand and patting his head are pissing me the hell off.
Dooooo ittttttt.
Let's just say....I'm not asking you to keep quiet. I don't want to be part of it, for the sake of SO and mutual friends who don't deserve to be put in a position to pick sides. But yea...all that love he is getting on FB makes my head hurt.
Let's just say....I'm not asking you to keep quiet. I don't want to be part of it, for the sake of SO and mutual friends who don't deserve to be put in a position to pick sides. But yea...all that love he is getting on FB makes my head hurt.
Look. I don't want to tell you what to do, but I'm going to put this out there. Eventually your friends are going to make the connection that he is talking about you. They'll eventually take sides, whether you realize it or not. Your SO should be taking sides in this issue, as it's big enough to involve the racing community you participate in, your job, and your friends. Your reputation is on the line. That's something to fight for.
Let's just say....I'm not asking you to keep quiet. I don't want to be part of it, for the sake of SO and mutual friends who don't deserve to be put in a position to pick sides. But yea...all that love he is getting on FB makes my head hurt.
Look. I don't want to tell you what to do, but I'm going to put this out there. Eventually your friends are going to make the connection that he is talking about you. They'll eventually take sides, whether you realize it or not. Your SO should be taking sides in this issue, as it's big enough to involve the racing community you participate in, your job, and your friends. Your reputation is on the line. That's something to fight for.
I'm with pixy0stix on this. His asshattery has gone above and beyond just a dumb email to you. He's affected a job. I'd be burning that shit to the ground. You have the email that clearly shows him being a dick.
Let's just say....I'm not asking you to keep quiet. I don't want to be part of it, for the sake of SO and mutual friends who don't deserve to be put in a position to pick sides. But yea...all that love he is getting on FB makes my head hurt.
Look. I don't want to tell you what to do, but I'm going to put this out there. Eventually your friends are going to make the connection that he is talking about you. They'll eventually take sides, whether you realize it or not. Your SO should be taking sides in this issue, as it's big enough to involve the racing community you participate in, your job, and your friends. Your reputation is on the line. That's something to fight for.
Valid point.
I guess, right now it is a Heidi vs John, not about the situation at hand. A few mutual friends have expressed concern/support for me/my point of view.
I'm hanging onto all the screen shots and emails. Maybe I'll be able to do something constructive with them + my experience when it doesn't feel like such a childish social media fight.
Look. I don't want to tell you what to do, but I'm going to put this out there. Eventually your friends are going to make the connection that he is talking about you. They'll eventually take sides, whether you realize it or not. Your SO should be taking sides in this issue, as it's big enough to involve the racing community you participate in, your job, and your friends. Your reputation is on the line. That's something to fight for.
Valid point.
I guess, right now it is a Heidi vs John, not about the situation at hand. A few mutual friends have expressed concern/support for me/my point of view.
I'm hanging onto all the screen shots and emails. Maybe I'll be able to do something constructive with them + my experience when it doesn't feel like such a childish social media fight.
Happy to brainstorm with you. I want to say something, but I'm having a hard time formulating an acceptable response.
Since you have the entirety of the email chain, I would just post something like this: You've probably heard from another source about an incident about a week ago. I'm presenting these without comment so that you may form your own opinions on what happened.
And then post the emails in their entirety. That is not participating in a childish social media fight. It is putting out there what happened so that people can form their own conclusions. It is removing any speculation on their parts about "what really happened." If they want to pick sides, they can.
I like pixy0stix's suggestion. It allows you to put the email chain that clearly shows his behavior out there for people to form their own opinions on, without you providing your own commentary on what a freaking asshat he is.
Post by emilyinchile on Apr 24, 2015 13:12:54 GMT -5
I'm sorry. I've been in a situation where I tried to just ignore and be the bigger person, but a line ended up being crossed that went beyond what I was willing to look past. I didn't react impulsively, but I really thought about my values and ended up deciding that some things just can't be free of consequences. I didn't yell at the person involved or try to drag her name through the mud with mutual friends/online/whatever, but I did confront her and have been honest with others when asked why we don't talk any more (which makes her look pretty bad, in the same way that John would look bad here).
I don't know if that's where you are now or if you'll get there, but good luck however you end up deciding to deal with all of this.
I agree with Pixy. The other sticking point for me is that if I were someone in the community who was considering signing up for one of his races or giving my time to volunteer, I would absolutely want to know this information.
Post by greeneyedgirl on Apr 25, 2015 7:49:21 GMT -5
I never post here but I got sucked in from the most current posts page. I was an RD for a Colorado event for a few years and have been involved with Ironman events, several Tri events and a century ride and I still work on a few. I would NEVER leave a volunteer out longer than me in any circumstance. I've been pregnant through two summers of events and was still the last to leave the site. I've sent volunteers home and finished doing directionals at 2am when I knew my call time was 4am for the event start. It is not ok in any circumstance to leave anyone associated with an event out on their own while the director leaves for their own benefit. I'm not too familiar with the ultra side of things but this would not fly at all in any event I worked on.
Volunteers are the backbone for any event organizer. If not for volunteers, none of us would make any of the meager salaries we do. I can't imagine ever treating anyone like that, especially someone who helps and is so familiar with my events.
I'm with pixy on this. People need to see his emails and the way you've been treated. Others who volunteer need to know they are doing it at their own risk and he doesn't care about their wellbeing. Athletes need to know how he treats those who don't pay to play. I wold honestly take this as far as you can publicly. The emails I get after events from participants aren't always nice but I make a point to answer all of them with respect and compassion even when the person is wrong. What he did is just not ok. He may not have had any legal liability for you as the event director but as a human, he should have had a conscious to stay and/or make an effort to make sure you were ok.
Post by foundmylazybum on Apr 25, 2015 15:10:25 GMT -5
I would post on twitter that this race puts it's volunteers at risk during set-ups.
All of us can post to the site, over, and over again.
"@hprunningseries, what about the two volunteers left to fend for themselves on a rock face all night?" #danger #nowthatshumanperformance! #responsibility