I just got banned from all Human Potential races here in Colorado...a "respectful request" from the race director after I privately [via email, NOTHING public] called him out on leaving me + another runner on a steep, snowy, rocky slope on the cold, rainy night after we spent the day helping him set up for this coming weekend's race. I did not resort to name calling and even waited 36 hours to respond to the initial email he sent the other runner + me so it won't be emotionally charged. Hell, I had friends proof read it so I wasn't being a bitch...it was all facts and I never said "John you're an asshole"...just "I am extremely disappointed in how you handled your leadership role, especially when things got hairy".
Looking back there were a lot of mistakes throughout the day but I am willing to learn from them and overlook them...except for the mistake where he returned to the trailhead 5 hours after he last saw us and DROVE HOME! He didn't wait for us, he didn't come back out to find us, he didn't do anything but leave. He admitted he had warm clothes in his car but he was close to getting hypothermia so he needed to leave...without regard to the two people he left off trail in the wilderness for an additional two hours.
We were out there along for 7 hours -- we survived and we were prepared for a night in the wilderness [lots of extra gear + cook stove + food] but it's the principle of it all that pisses me off! And...he told the other runners friend [she started running with us, turned back hours before and was just waiting at the trailhead for us] to wait until 6am to call for help. So, he was comfortable leaving us out there for 10 full hours, alone...in the cold after a day of being wet. Oh, and we were on a freaking rock face when he left us. A rock face that climbed up about 800+ feet over the course of less than 3/4 mile...but that didn't concern him.
Clearly I'm still pissed off about this. #explodinghead
---I do not fault the girl who waited at the trailhead and listened to John's advice to wait to call for help until 6am. She was less experienced in the wilderness and had no reason no to trust the RD's advice since he promotes himself as a wilderness guide with extensive experience. Heck, I trusted his judgement until this all went down.
[[I'm sure you'll enjoy this taratru + reginaphalange72...it's John from HPRS that banned me as a runner, volunteer or spectator so if you're running one of his races I'll cheer from afar...]]
/end rant
Can I add that he banned in from his events in an email saying "I have come to the conclusion Heidi that you are an incredibly angry and mean person." and "You are one of the most incredibly insensitive and hurtful people I have ever met. There is one place where you and I are different. While we both are great at speaking our mind and sharing our thoughts and opinions, I am capable of remorse and empathy. You.. are obviously not.". I know most of you don't know me IRL and for all you know he is right...but seriously!? This is how a business owner chooses to conduct business?
Oh, and my SO is one of his best friends. My life literally cannot get anymore eff'ed up right now.
Wow. WOW. Im so sorry this happened to you and glad youre ok. Im furious for you! Sounds like yourr better off not running his races anyway. What an asshole!
Holy shit. If it wasn't for the fact that your SO is one of his best friends I'd say you should now proceed with blasting him all over social media...but that'd potentially make the situation even worse for your SO and that's not fair to him. What does he have to say about what John did and his response to your email?
That is absolutely ridiculous and I am furious FOR you. And how the hell do you ban someone from spectating? What does your SO think about this? If this was my DHs friend, he would be raging on my behalf and put him in his place. I would have a very hard time not blasting this all over social media.
And...this was just added to the Colorado trail/ultra runner group he manages on FB with 600+ members...
So, rather than actually take responsibility for ANY of his own actions [really, just driving home...that's all I'm asking he truly take responsibility for] he is using the weekend as an excuse to remove himself from every ounce of responsibility as a race director or decent human being. It's hard not to take this a a personal jab...but I refuse to let it hurt my feelings [all that hand holding bullshit] because I'm assuming that's exactly what he wants.
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Post by runblondie26 on Apr 22, 2015 9:28:41 GMT -5
Wow, that takes some gall. What a terrible, repugnant person. I'm sorry@blndsnbrdr . Thank goodness you made it off the trail ok by yourself, or he'd have even more to answer to.
Holy shit. If it wasn't for the fact that your SO is one of his best friends I'd say you should now proceed with blasting him all over social media...but that'd potentially make the situation even worse for your SO and that's not fair to him. What does he have to say about what John did and his response to your email?
SO has done a great job of supporting me without giving me headpats or ripping his friend apart. He's in a shitty situation but I think he is handling it well [John + I had a disagreement over his races late last year and I reached out to smooth things over in hopes of finding a balance so SO wouldn't have to deal with BS...clearly that failed miserably on Saturday]. Rather than going off the deep end with anger SO has pointed out exactly what was wrong and how John, as someone who does talk himself up as a wilderness leader should have taken some group leadership responsibility...if only as a decent human being. No one is asking John to pull his company/HPRS into this. I just want him to realize this was a terrible decision...as a human being!
Does your Dh really want to be friends with this type of person? That deserves to go on Reddit at the very least.
Oooh, reddit...reddit would have fun with this!
SO is in a tricky position and I refuse to be the girl that makes him choose -- I think John is busy digging himself into a hole without my help. There was a lot of lost respect/trust this weekend...which would have been the case whether I was the GF of his friend or not. Going home was just a terrible decision.
[oh, and he had the gall to say he want home because someone else in the group who was more experienced in the backcountry (but doesn't know me) told him he should absolutely go home -- who the eff cares what someone else said?! even if someone else told you to go home you made the choice to do so!]
Post by bostonmichelle on Apr 22, 2015 9:35:38 GMT -5
Say what?! My head is exploding in so many ways I have no idea how to comprehend any of it. I've rewritten a few responses but all I can say is your email is amazingly calm sounding compared to anything I would've said. I would absolutely be blasting this guy all over social media.
Holy shit. If it wasn't for the fact that your SO is one of his best friends I'd say you should now proceed with blasting him all over social media...but that'd potentially make the situation even worse for your SO and that's not fair to him. What does he have to say about what John did and his response to your email?
SO has done a great job of supporting me without giving me headpats or ripping his friend apart. He's in a shitty situation but I think he is handling it well [John + I had a disagreement over his races late last year and I reached out to smooth things over in hopes of finding a balance so SO wouldn't have to deal with BS...clearly that failed miserably on Saturday]. Rather than going off the deep end with anger SO has pointed out exactly what was wrong and how John, as someone who does talk himself up as a wilderness leader should have taken some group leadership responsibility...if only as a decent human being. No one is asking John to pull his company/HPRS into this. I just want him to realize this was a terrible decision...as a human being!
I'm glad your SO is being supportive. Has he made the bolded point to John?
I'm still stuck on the fact that as the race director, he left the set-up of his event with 2 participants still out there on the course FOR THE NIGHT. What if something did happen to you? He would have to be liable as the person in charge for not doing anything to make sure you are safe, right!?
SO has done a great job of supporting me without giving me headpats or ripping his friend apart. He's in a shitty situation but I think he is handling it well [John + I had a disagreement over his races late last year and I reached out to smooth things over in hopes of finding a balance so SO wouldn't have to deal with BS...clearly that failed miserably on Saturday]. Rather than going off the deep end with anger SO has pointed out exactly what was wrong and how John, as someone who does talk himself up as a wilderness leader should have taken some group leadership responsibility...if only as a decent human being. No one is asking John to pull his company/HPRS into this. I just want him to realize this was a terrible decision...as a human being!
I'm glad your SO is being supportive. Has he made the bolded point to John?
He has expressed his intent to do so, but in person. I'll see him today and while SO + I have agreed to kind of move on as much as possible [me bitching about his friend does not make for quality time together]. John tends to really respect SO as a person so he might actually listen to that.
I'm still stuck on the fact that as the race director, he left the set-up of his event with 2 participants still out there on the course FOR THE NIGHT. What if something did happen to you? He would have to be liable as the person in charge for not doing anything to make sure you are safe, right!?
You'd think he'd want to take some additional responsibility as a race director...but instead he is throwing up "no one else is responsible for you, you are own your own, every man for himself" disclaimers up on everything he has any involvement in.
I'm glad your SO is being supportive. Has he made the bolded point to John?
He has expressed his intent to do so, but in person. I'll see him today and while SO + I have agreed to kind of move on as much as possible [me bitching about his friend does not make for quality time together]. John tends to really respect SO as a person so he might actually listen to that.
Post by irene adler on Apr 22, 2015 9:56:52 GMT -5
Are you fucking kidding me?
"... you are an incredibly angry and mean person....one of the most incredibly insensitive and hurtful people I have ever met. There is one place where you and I are different. While we both are great at speaking our mind and sharing our thoughts and opinions, I am capable of remorse and empathy. You.. are obviously not."
I only know you from here, and I can't imagine a universe where this is the truth.
Post by fuckyourcouch on Apr 22, 2015 10:17:03 GMT -5
Wtf? This is insane. You are one of the friendliest and most accommodating/easygoing people I've ever met. I can't imagine you fired off some insane email (after having multiple people read it, even). It sounds like he knows he fucked up and is trying to deflect his guilt/dumbassery onto you. Wow wow wow.