I need to say something, right?

[rikki]

There is a woman I know through a nonprofit I volunteer with. She is very young with several kids. She posted this picture. I cropped out his head. He is only 11 months old and forward facing with the straps all crazy. I have seen lots of stuff that makes me twitch and kept my mouth shut, but this probably deserves a kind private message, right?

Attachments:

[aspentosh]

Yes. Please, yes.

[countthestars]

Yes.

[hermione]

I would have to. If she gets upset - well, that's her issue.

[rikki]

Any good, easy links to proper strap placement, rear facing stats, etc?

[Brie]

Apr 24, 2015 14:38:55 GMT -5 rikki said:

Any good, easy links to proper strap placement, rear facing stats, etc?

thecarseatlady.com/strapbabyin/

thecarseatlady.com/why-ride-rear-facing/

[linz]

Yes. I had a friend who posted a pic of her daughter at 11 mos ff. I sent her a text and she was all "she already outgrew her infant seat". I informed her of why you want to RF until at least 2. I really wanted to call her out on fb but I felt like privately was better.

[bananapancakes]

Oh my, that's bad. Yes, please say something.

[Brie]

Also, depending on the state, it may be illegal for him to FF before a year old, I think.

[rikki]

Apr 24, 2015 14:41:31 GMT -5 Brie said:

Also, depending on the state, it may be illegal for him to FF before a year old, I think.

It definitely is here.

[Deleted]

Car seat safety is one of the few things that I will pipe up about.

[Deleted]

Yes. This is a matter of safety, not just a parenting preference. I'd day something.

[penguingrrl]

Yes, in this case you need to speak up. Be prepared that it likely won't change anything, but privately send her those links. I had a friend who put a just turned 2 year old in a backless booster with the shoulder strap routed through the belt guide so that it turned a lap shoulder belt into just a lap belt . I spoke up privately sending her links and all that happened was a passive aggressive post about her knowing what's best for her kid and meddling people being wrong.

[zarapipe]

I'm cringing. yes

[hermione]

Apr 24, 2015 14:49:26 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Yes, in this case you need to speak up. Be prepared that it likely won't change anything, but privately send her those links. I had a friend who put a just turned 2 year old in a backless booster with the shoulder strap routed through the belt guide so that it turned a lap shoulder belt into just a lap belt . I spoke up privately sending her links and all that happened was a passive aggressive post about her knowing what's best for her kid and meddling people being wrong.

I hope you publicly responded with, "Obvioysly you don't know what's best for your child since you are endangering his/her life by disregarding car seat safety."

[smile]

Extended RF is a preference, so I would stick to the legality of her FF a child under 1. I would take it better if someone was telling me something I could get ticketed for, versus just someone telling me "what's best".

[penguingrrl]

Apr 24, 2015 14:55:14 GMT -5 hermione said:

Apr 24, 2015 14:49:26 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Yes, in this case you need to speak up. Be prepared that it likely won't change anything, but privately send her those links. I had a friend who put a just turned 2 year old in a backless booster with the shoulder strap routed through the belt guide so that it turned a lap shoulder belt into just a lap belt . I spoke up privately sending her links and all that happened was a passive aggressive post about her knowing what's best for her kid and meddling people being wrong.

I hope you publicly responded with, "Obvioysly you don't know what's best for your child since you are endangering his/her life by disregarding car seat safety."

I chickened out at that point. I still wish I had spoken up further, but I didn't. 

[sunshineluv]

I would. I would put in the body of the message how the straps need to be tight, so the baby stays put in a wreck, and his organs don't get jerked around. (Or something to that effect) So she can get the point without going to a link she may not read or understand.

I would also sugar coat it a lot. I had to tell one of my friends this when we went out to lunch when she was a new mom, she was thankful to me. (Thankfully)

[redheadk]

I normally would not say anything but that is something I'd have to speak up about. That's pretty bad.

[cjeanette]

I am often a butt out sort of girl but this is pretty bad.

[Deleted]

Would it be bad to send her that article that went pretty viral about the lady who's kid died in an accident and posted pics of facebook and no one told her? My approach might be - I read this article a couple months ago and since then I made a promise to myself to speak up about car seat safety. I know that everyone wants to protect their kids but might not know about some things because the world is overflowing with information. Or something like that.

[lilac05]

I'd say something in a PM.

I think we often take for granted the things we learn & that become "common sense" from being on this site. I would have done a LOT of things differently if not for this place (& not for the better). There is a high likelihood that when you see stuff like this, it's just a mom doing her best & she doesn't know any better...yet.

[lilac05]

Apr 24, 2015 16:47:24 GMT -5 @republicrat said:

Would it be bad to send her that article that went pretty viral about the lady who's kid died in an accident and posted pics of facebook and no one told her? My approach might be - I read this article a couple months ago and since then I made a promise to myself to speak up about car seat safety. I know that everyone wants to protect their kids but might not know about some things because the world is overflowing with information. Or something like that.

I wouldn't send the article itself, but I think you could mention the effect it had on you (promise to speak up).

[barefootcontessa]

I would say something but I would couch differently than just sending links. I might even tell a white lie and say how I once had my children improperly restrained and someone showed me the right way and how I promised to pass it along should the circumstance arise. You do not want to make her feel stupid, ignorant,etc.

[penguingrrl]

Apr 24, 2015 18:15:22 GMT -5 incogneato said:

Yikes. How does anyone look at that and think, "Yep, looks right to me!"

Cringe.

I think a lot of people don't think of the carseat as a safety item. They think it's a place to contain the kid while you drive, like a swing contains them while you do a load of laundry, and don't think further to the safety aspect. I wish I could say I was kidding on that.

[hymen]

I did this once. Someone I knew FFed her 6 month old twins. I sent her a PM about the importance of RFing. She gave me a quick thank you, but it didn't change anything, unfortunately.

[Yankees21]

We had to watch a video on not shaking your baby before leaving thr hospital- I wish they made you watch one on car seat safety.

[Narwhal]

Apr 24, 2015 20:40:10 GMT -5 Yankees21 said:

We had to watch a video on not shaking your baby before leaving thr hospital- I wish they made you watch one on car seat safety.

This!!  We did have to watch a video at the hospital before we went home, but we were in the NICU so we had to do a few extra things. I don't understand why it isn't standard.  

[litasail]

Definitely say something. I've been trying to be more committed to speaking up after I read that horrible article someone mentioned up-thread. While it's nerve-wracking, nearly every time it's gone well.

Let us know how she responds.

[KaraOrNot]

Apr 24, 2015 20:43:37 GMT -5 Narwhal said:

Apr 24, 2015 20:40:10 GMT -5 Yankees21 said:

We had to watch a video on not shaking your baby before leaving thr hospital- I wish they made you watch one on car seat safety.

This!!  We did have to watch a video at the hospital before we went home, but we were in the NICU so we had to do a few extra things. I don't understand why it isn't standard.  

I have always wondered why NICU parents have to go through more training on basic things (not related to the NICU or their kid). The car seat training should be standard for everyone.