Thanks - I've missed you guys so I figured I'd try to reintegrate myself again, especially considering I'm working through the starting over process myself.
I'm just trying to focus on rebuilding myself and spending a lot of time with friends. I'm also fostering a three legged golden mix. I've had her for about a month now and she's ready for adoption. I still have Buddy <3 he's helped me a lot through this process.
I've been contemplating a big move back up north, I've applied to jobs up there, but I also really like NC so I'm kind of torn.
I am glad you are doing well! I want pics of the three-legged golden!
I am glad you have buddy. My pups really are my therapy sometimes, I swear.
This is a question to everyone: did missbetty ever come back? With her non- benefits
I don't think so. Man, I remember mocking "non-benefits" but for the life of me, I cannot remember what that was all about... I can never hold a GBCN grudge unless the person remains an asshole the entire time they post.
I don't think so. Man, I remember mocking "non-benefits" but for the life of me, I cannot remember what that was all about... I can never hold a GBCN grudge unless the person remains an asshole the entire time they post.
Also, would you wear a commitment ring? What about a wedding dress or just a commitment dress? And if you don't want your relationship to be a joke, don't do a commitment ceremony. Because yea, that would be weird and if I got an invite I would laugh.
Unfortunately I don't have the "details" laid out right now lol
Post by lyssbobiss, Command, B613 on May 2, 2015 17:52:16 GMT -5
I really don't get what's strange about being in a LTR, not wanting to be married, and having a commitment ceremony. That thread was weird and makes some of its participants look like they think the only end games in life are breaking up or getting married.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
I really don't get what's strange about being in a LTR, not wanting to be married, and having a commitment ceremony. That thread was weird and makes some of its participants look like they think the only end games in life are breaking up or getting married.
I agree. I don't think I remember that post and I just only read the first page, but I also don't see what the big deal is. I'll read the rest at some other point.
Actually the other day I was going to post asking about people's opinions on marriage vs a long term relationship but then got busy. Marriage just isn't that important to me anymore, but I absolutely enjoy having a partner. I don't think that's particularly flammable.
I wasn't around during the era of that thread. I'm generally pretty much in the "live and let live" school for most people's life choices but I do think it's kind of strange how she was basically wanting a common law marriage with a party. There are some countries where that kind of thing is more common but even so, it's true that marriages are designed to offer certain legal protections - that's a big part of why there's a fight for equal access to the institution. It's like she wanted the legal protections but only to the extent that she wanted them, sort of a "marriage a la carte".
I will say though that I do think that people have every right to choose not to marry and even to throw parties honoring that choice if they want.
Post by jellymankelly on May 2, 2015 21:45:59 GMT -5
That MissBetty thread brought me to a question to ask someone...I haven't been reading that much lately, so I think I missed something. starryfish, when did you get married?!
Also, MissBetty came back and implied she and Mars were planning to get married, right? You'll never convince me she was for real.
I really don't get what's strange about being in a LTR, not wanting to be married, and having a commitment ceremony. That thread was weird and makes some of its participants look like they think the only end games in life are breaking up or getting married.
I agree. I don't think I remember that post and I just only read the first page, but I also don't see what the big deal is. I'll read the rest at some other point.
Actually the other day I was going to post asking about people's opinions on marriage vs a long term relationship but then got busy. Marriage just isn't that important to me anymore, but I absolutely enjoy having a partner. I don't think that's particularly flammable.
To me it's not the LTR vs marriage that was weird It was the commitment ceremony. Why do you need a ceremony? Just be together. Forever or for how ever long you want to. I totally get the drawbacks to marriage and am not particularly interested in getting married again myself.
I really don't get what's strange about being in a LTR, not wanting to be married, and having a commitment ceremony. That thread was weird and makes some of its participants look like they think the only end games in life are breaking up or getting married.
I have no problem with an LTR. The thing is, MissBetty thought marriage = divorce. She couldn't explain her reasoning. I have plenty of people who have chosen not to marry for various reasons. She wanted to be married, but didn't want to call it marriage because of some unexplainable reason that she didn't understand herself. You do you, but do it for the right reasons, not because of a book you didn't understand or ever finish reading.
I really don't get what's strange about being in a LTR, not wanting to be married, and having a commitment ceremony. That thread was weird and makes some of its participants look like they think the only end games in life are breaking up or getting married.
I have no problem with an LTR. The thing is, MissBetty thought marriage = divorce. She couldn't explain her reasoning. I have plenty of people who have chosen not to marry for various reasons. She wanted to be married, but didn't want to call it marriage because of some unexplainable reason that she didn't understand herself. You do you, but do it for the right reasons, not because of a book you didn't understand or ever finish reading.
I guess I take umbrage with the issue that everyone was basically mocking her for it and asking what kind of dress she would wear to a ceremony or if they would wear rings. I mean, I don't think marriage automatically equals divorce but I don't want to get married again probably 75% because I never want to go through the process of getting divorced again.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
I have no problem with an LTR. The thing is, MissBetty thought marriage = divorce. She couldn't explain her reasoning. I have plenty of people who have chosen not to marry for various reasons. She wanted to be married, but didn't want to call it marriage because of some unexplainable reason that she didn't understand herself. You do you, but do it for the right reasons, not because of a book you didn't understand or ever finish reading.
I guess I take umbrage with the issue that everyone was basically mocking her for it and asking what kind of dress she would wear to a ceremony or if they would wear rings. I mean, I don't think marriage automatically equals divorce but I don't want to get married again probably 75% because I never want to go through the process of getting divorced again.
Yep. And I really have no eloquent reason of why I don't want to get married again (at least not for awhile). I just don't and I'm not even sure if I can explain it to myself!
I have no problem with an LTR. The thing is, MissBetty thought marriage = divorce. She couldn't explain her reasoning. I have plenty of people who have chosen not to marry for various reasons. She wanted to be married, but didn't want to call it marriage because of some unexplainable reason that she didn't understand herself. You do you, but do it for the right reasons, not because of a book you didn't understand or ever finish reading.
I guess I take umbrage with the issue that everyone was basically mocking her for it and asking what kind of dress she would wear to a ceremony or if they would wear rings. I mean, I don't think marriage automatically equals divorce but I don't want to get married again probably 75% because I never want to go through the process of getting divorced again.
She was being mocked because she was generally a nut
I guess I take umbrage with the issue that everyone was basically mocking her for it and asking what kind of dress she would wear to a ceremony or if they would wear rings. I mean, I don't think marriage automatically equals divorce but I don't want to get married again probably 75% because I never want to go through the process of getting divorced again.
She was being mocked because she was generally a nut
Yeah I can't remember the particulars but I know there was some lead up to that post with her.
I have no problem with an LTR. The thing is, MissBetty thought marriage = divorce. She couldn't explain her reasoning. I have plenty of people who have chosen not to marry for various reasons. She wanted to be married, but didn't want to call it marriage because of some unexplainable reason that she didn't understand herself. You do you, but do it for the right reasons, not because of a book you didn't understand or ever finish reading.
I guess I take umbrage with the issue that everyone was basically mocking her for it and asking what kind of dress she would wear to a ceremony or if they would wear rings. I mean, I don't think marriage automatically equals divorce but I don't want to get married again probably 75% because I never want to go through the process of getting divorced again.
I don't believe I mocked those things, although it was possible because that poster and I did not get along. She had a lot of issues for which she refused to get counseling, and instead just jumped into a new relationship and read really crappy self help-books. People tried to explain why she needed time and counseling, but she would instead call us crazy people and SHE didn't need counseling like WE did. I mainly mocked the use of the word non-benefit because it makes no freaking sense and when asked what a non-benefit was, she would say, "It's a non-benefit." It was like riding a choo-choo train in circles in crazy town.
My issue with MB was she wanted ALL the legal protections without the WORD marriage. And you can end up in court when an LTR breaks up. If you own a home together and you deed it JTWROS, you can easily re-deed it, but what about the equity in the home? How much are you entitled to? If you all can't decide, you may end up in small claims court. Or one party may want to stay living there and the other party may refuse to sign off on the deed. OR, you own a home together, but only one of you is on the deed. Well, the person not on the deed is entitled to jack shit. Also, you may end up in a person's will, but when you aren't married, that will may be contested. Which, you will probably win in the end, but you may end up in court. THOSE were my points. Yes, there are things about marriage that suck, but there are things about LTR that suck. I wanted to show her both sides. In my attempt to show her the negatives, she would tell me I was off topic, which, I wasn't.
You don't want to get married? You do you. You have a slew of issues you refuse to address and come on here quoting a shitty self-help book that you haven't even finished reading as your cure, yeah, you may get mocked.
That MissBetty thread brought me to a question to ask someone...I haven't been reading that much lately, so I think I missed something. starryfish, when did you get married?!
Also, MissBetty came back and implied she and Mars were planning to get married, right? You'll never convince me she was for real.
I didn't really announce!
We eloped in March and got married in Grand Cayman Island (it was port of call on our cruise). We had been together almost a year at that point.
That MissBetty thread brought me to a question to ask someone...I haven't been reading that much lately, so I think I missed something. starryfish, when did you get married?!
Also, MissBetty came back and implied she and Mars were planning to get married, right? You'll never convince me she was for real.
I didn't really announce!
We eloped in March and got married in Grand Cayman Island (it was port of call on our cruise). We had been together almost a year at that point.
Congratulations! Was it planned the whole time, or was it a spur of the moment "Hey, we're going to get married anyway, let's do it while we're there!" kind of thing?
We eloped in March and got married in Grand Cayman Island (it was port of call on our cruise). We had been together almost a year at that point.
Congratulations! Was it planned the whole time, or was it a spur of the moment "Hey, we're going to get married anyway, let's do it while we're there!" kind of thing?
We had been talking about eloping....and decided on Tuesday and left that Saturday on the cruise! Thanks!
Congratulations! Was it planned the whole time, or was it a spur of the moment "Hey, we're going to get married anyway, let's do it while we're there!" kind of thing?
We had been talking about eloping....and decided on Tuesday and left that Saturday on the cruise! Thanks!
I want to ask if any old regulars are lurking around, or are here under other names and I never put it together. I'm having trouble with screen names, though! Examples: - the one who was deaf and had a little boy. heavenly - the one who went by Lizzie here for a little while (had a daughter, original screen name started with a c, maybe?) - one whose real name I remember, but not her screen name. Her H was a dick, but she was having trouble leaving for whatever reason - maybe health reasons? I want to say that maybe she had moved to the US from somewhere else? (Real life first name started with a C, if anyone has a vague recollection of who I'm talking about - I realize that story could describe many people who have posted here). - Naeljun - that one who was a super regular poster, was big into crossfit, and was maybe in school. Can't remember her screen name...but I think she had a mini husky? dakotadangerdog - the poster whose XH was gay and living with his new BF and the BF's mom. btay (I think)
I just wonder sometimes whatever happened to all of the people who have come through SO. It's possible some of them are still here, since it took me months to put together who Emerald is.
If any of you are lurking, tell us how you are!
I have been crazy busy and not around, but my stbxh is not gay. He is a recovering alcoholic.
Since this got bumped, this isn't an interesting question, but I've tried to look at old posts to figure it out and can't find them so FormerlyRR - why do you call TL 'TL'? Are those his initials? Or does it stand for something else?
I have an interesting one and I hope this is not offensive.
btay you consider yourself asexual. Have you always been this way? Is this something you've sought medical or psychological assistance on? I don't know if it's considered a standalone thing or that it's a symptom for something else? Obvs if you're happy and comfortable with your life, that's what matters.
Looking back I think I have always been this way, but I didn't really identify it in myself until my separation. I was dealing with vaginismus and my complete lack of interest in getting it fixed was my big clue. I haven't really been to therapy for this specifically because insurance does not cover therapy related to sexual identity or any sex related issues. I have glanced over it in regular therapy and it was discussed a lot in marriage counseling.
My biggest confusion was that I always assumed that since I have crushes like any other girl that I couldn't be asexual. After doing some reading I discovered that this is totally unrelated, and that I am really a heteroromantic asexual. I want a romantic relationship with a man but I have zero interest in anything sexual.
Overall I'm content with who I am, but I do struggle with the idea that finding a partner that will accept me as I am is not going to be easy.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."