I have done this to my H before without realizing why it was a big deal because in my head the only thing better than people is MORE people. So why would he be upset that I told all my girlfriends they could crash at our place after the bar? In our one bedroom, tiny ass apartment? And then stay until dinner the next day? Poor guy. I'm better at it now, but I still have to actively remind myself that my H doesn't enjoy living in a dorm.
Post by shopgirl07 on May 22, 2015 19:51:11 GMT -5
These people are weird. They just hop in the car for a weekend like that? Everyone knows that the wife is the one you go through. They don't think it's a huge imposition to do this yo someone? I mean, your H clearly screwed up, but these people did too.
Post by sallywalker on May 22, 2015 19:53:37 GMT -5
Oh if it clears it up for anyone, this is the bebe bride and groom. The bride who got married when she was 20 and expected us to sit for like 10 hours at the wedding venue with T while they got ready.
These people are weird. They just hop in the car for a weekend like that? Everyone knows that the wife is the one you go through. They don't think it's a huge imposition to do this yo someone? I mean, your H clearly screwed up, but these people did too.
Eh, how good of friends are these? If they're best friends then there's no need to "host". I don't do anything special when our closest friends come over because they're well aware I'm not Martha Stewart and I'm not trying to impress them.
Oh if it clears it up for anyone, this is the bebe bride and groom. The bride who got married when she was 20 and expected us to sit for like 10 hours at the wedding venue with T while they got ready.
Oh, lol. Never mind about what I said earlier. These people are the worst.
These people are weird. They just hop in the car for a weekend like that? Everyone knows that the wife is the one you go through. They don't think it's a huge imposition to do this yo someone? I mean, your H clearly screwed up, but these people did too.
I am going to cut the first person who says this is sexist.
It's totally sexist.
And totally true for us lol. I look at the calendar before making plans. Jake makes plans then figures it out.
A lot of our frustrations would go away if he opened up his calendar just once a day. Just take a gander, Jake! Jeezums.
These people are weird. They just hop in the car for a weekend like that? Everyone knows that the wife is the one you go through. They don't think it's a huge imposition to do this yo someone? I mean, your H clearly screwed up, but these people did too.
Eh, how good of friends are these? If they're best friends then there's no need to "host". I don't do anything special when our closest friends come over because they're well aware I'm not Martha Stewart and I'm not trying to impress them.
It's H's best friend. We are close with them, but still.
I think the issue is that some people are just really private people, I know I am. It's just how I am. I LOVE to host and have people over and eat and drink....then have them get the fuck out so I can take my bra off and watch TV, alone with my H. It's just how I am. Maybe Sally is like that too, IDK.
Yes. This is how I am. I have already changed back into appropriate hosting clothes and am planning what I need to get at the grocery store tomorrow. FUCK. I'm so mad.
Would you be mad if you said "Hi" to your sudden guests and then when back in your room with your wine and a good book - and DIDN'T grocery shop tomorrow?
I mean, these people KNOW they just descended on you. Your DH knows. It can't be a shock that you're ill prepared.
Wound you be less angry if you ... didn't host ... So fvcking suddenly?
This wouldn't bug me - but I'm lonely so any company sounds kind of wild and fun right now. ETA: obviously it's not cool for him to do that to you since he clearly knew from the get go that you wouldn't enjoy this.
Ugh. We are fighting about it. He apologized when he got home but now doesn't understand why I am still pissed. I am going to have to act nice to him when they get here and that makes me even more pissed.
Fucking southern hospitality mindset.
so he thinks he just has to apologize and all is ok? Um, no. You still get to be pissed until ... Well, you're not pissed
I would magically become very sick with something contagious, take all the wine I own and bring it into my bedroom and not come out all weekend. Yup, that's what I would do.
I told H about this and he laughed and said, "Oh I would totally have been that guy." Now I'm scared.
Wait. They went out for a drink and just aren't going home for two days? Do they have clothes and toiletries with them? Don't they have things to do? That has nothing to do with how unbelievably pissed I would be about this, it's just an added layer of weirdness.
I would make verrrry little effort for this weekend. I would still plan to spend large chunks of the day by myself, in the bedroom, and God help your DH if he dares enter. And tell him to let you know what the dinner plans are. And start mentally planning the weekend away you're taking by yourself in exchange for this bullshit move. Jesus. I'm pissed on your behalf!
Wait. They went out for a drink and just aren't going home for two days? Do they have clothes and toiletries with them? Don't they have things to do? That has nothing to do with how unbelievably pissed I would be about this, it's just an added layer of weirdness.
I would make verrrry little effort for this weekend. I would still plan to spend large chunks of the day by myself, in the bedroom, and God help your DH if he dares enter. And tell him to let you know what the dinner plans are. And start mentally planning the weekend away you're taking by yourself in exchange for this bullshit move. Jesus. I'm pissed on your behalf!
Yeah, I'm confused. So your H was at hh and they were at home and called and decided to drive two hours away? Or they were in town already? It's especially weird to me that a 30 week pregnant woman would want to just trot around and sleep wherever, but maybe that's just me because I'm a homebody and I don't like people. Either way, just tell H he did the inviting without talking to you so it's all up to him and say "hi" when they show up and then make sure you have copious amount of wine in your bedroom, behind a closed/locked door.
Post by DotAndBuzz on May 22, 2015 21:23:25 GMT -5
NOPE.
You are not going to the store. You are not prepping the house.
This was your H's invitation, so he can get things ready. It's no big deal to host last minute? Oh, ok, show me. In the meantime, you do whatever you were planning on doing, including going to Panera to stare at the wall for 3 hours just because.
Post by fuckyourcouch on May 22, 2015 21:24:52 GMT -5
Fuck this, my house wouldn't even be ready/clean/anything. I would murder him. Honestly I would probably turn all the lights off and pretend I'm not home. What a turd.
Post by DotAndBuzz on May 22, 2015 21:30:36 GMT -5
Seriously, lock this down NOW.
Otherwise you'll very well end up like my mother, who has hosted countless staff/hobby group parties for my dad, and he's like "YAY! Party! Fun! I'll take care of everything. Beer and chips. Walla. Party!" And my poor mother, who won't make waves, does ALL the other prep. Cleaning the house, buying the rest of the food, organizing and prepping food, continuing to keep people mixing and mingling, keeping serving dishes refreshed, etc. It's not that my dad's a jerk, he just doesn't get how much is involved in hosting people. For the weekend, for a party, whatever.
Lock it down, for real. Being a bitch once will be have huge long term returns.
I have done this to my H before without realizing why it was a big deal because in my head the only thing better than people is MORE people. So why would he be upset that I told all my girlfriends they could crash at our place after the bar? In our one bedroom, tiny ass apartment? And then stay until dinner the next day? Poor guy. I'm better at it now, but I still have to actively remind myself that my H doesn't enjoy living in a dorm.
i love you, but wtf is THIS nonsense?
no people. the only thing better than people is NO people.
I have done this to my H before without realizing why it was a big deal because in my head the only thing better than people is MORE people. So why would he be upset that I told all my girlfriends they could crash at our place after the bar? In our one bedroom, tiny ass apartment? And then stay until dinner the next day? Poor guy. I'm better at it now, but I still have to actively remind myself that my H doesn't enjoy living in a dorm.
i love you, but wtf is THIS nonsense?
no people. the only thing better than people is NO people.
Post by marylennox on May 22, 2015 21:49:23 GMT -5
I would be so mad. And no way would I be getting dressed and going go get groceries. Take your wine and pjs, lock yourself in the bedroom and let him deal with them. They're his plans, you stick with yours.
I have done this to my H before without realizing why it was a big deal because in my head the only thing better than people is MORE people. So why would he be upset that I told all my girlfriends they could crash at our place after the bar? In our one bedroom, tiny ass apartment? And then stay until dinner the next day? Poor guy. I'm better at it now, but I still have to actively remind myself that my H doesn't enjoy living in a dorm.
i love you, but wtf is THIS nonsense?
no people. the only thing better than people is NO people.
I actually like hosting guests. But with notice, and by advance invitation, for God's sake. I'm not an introvert, but there is no universe in which I want sudden weekend guests, ever ever ever, no matter who they are. I can't even begin to fathom why sally's DH thought this would fly.
The only people who would get away w last minute plans are close family.
Ok, yes. Either of my siblings could show up on my doorstep anytime and I wouldn't bat an eye. But I also wouldn't have to play hostess to them, or care how my house looked, and they would probably be the ones to go to the store for provisions.